Hollywood California

We open the scene to a dreary and cloud covered day in the shitty “City of Angels”, Los Angeles, California. Specifically the Hollywood section of L.A. Even more specific to that, we see an exterior view of the extensive home of the baddest babyboy Hollywood has ever seen, in fact, he is so bad that he is the self-proclaimed, emphasis on Self Proclaimed, “Hollywood Bad Boy” Peter Gilmour. Because nothing says badass like giving yourself a nickname. Parked in the driveway of the mansion are two Mercedes Benz 720 SL convertibles. It appears Peter is doing pretty well for himself. The streets are relatively calm out in front of the home, a product of the miserable weather.

Suddenly a car comes screeching to a halt in front of Gilmour’s home. The vehicle a black SUV with tinted windows is now resting idle a few inches from the curb. A moment later the driver’s side window starts to go down and we see Jimmy Durance seated behind the wheel. Seated next to him in the passenger side is Theo Pryce. Theo ducks down slightly so as to get a better view of the home of the home from the driver’s side window of the car.


“Alright Jimmy, I’ve seen enough. I’ve got an appointment to keep.”

“Yes sir. So that’s where Peter Gilmour lives?”

“You mean the baddest dude on the planet? The X-treme Icon? The Radical Racist? That guy? Yeah, allegedly he lives there. Just like he allegedly has more money than me.”

“Radical Racist?

“Yeah he dropped the N word the other day. Twice. But it’s ok though because he has black friends.”

“He does?”

“So he says.”

“And he also said he is worth more than you?”

“Allegedly.”

“What else does he do besides wrestle?”

“Nothing. Scour the globe for abandoned churches, stalk underage girls on the internet. I don’t know. ”

“And he has more money than you do?”

“Again, allegedly.”

“If you don’t mind me asking sir, how much are you worth again?”

“Of course I don’t mind Jimmy. If I were poor like you I might mind. But I’m not. I’m loaded. And I’m worth a hair over 10 Billion.”

“And Peter Gilmour is worth more than that?”

“Yes Jimmy, according to him he is. But this is the same guy that once said he “Dong worshiped the Devil” in a promo, so, morale of the story, it’s hard to really know if what Peter is saying is accurate or if it’s just something he said without using the brain that presumably God gave him. But I digress.”

“He said he “Dong Worshipped the Devil”?”

“Yes he did. He said he “Dong Worshipped the Devil”. I’m not making this up. Believe me Jimmy, I’m not that creative. I wish I were but we all have our faults.”

“Indeed sir.”

“So tell me Jimmy, have you found yourself a new girlfriend since that last piece?”

“No sir.”

“Poor guy. You want me to take you to some club or bar and let you have a go at the ugly duckling that the girl I find hangs out with so as to make herself feel better?”

“No sir. I can find my own girlfriend. But thank you for the offer.”

“Ok well if you change your mind you just let me know. Actually come to think of it, I had a little wam bam thank you mam moment with someone last week, I think she would be right up your alley. Kind of loner, a bit miserable and self-important, her name’s Olive. She’s actually not half bad looking all things considered. And if you get her liquored up she’s willing to do just about anything.”

“Thank you sir but I am good.”

“Alright then.”

“Sir can I ask you something?”

“Of course Jimmy. What’s on your mind?”

“What are we doing here, in Hollywood? You hate L.A. You constantly talk about how fake the people here are and how you never want to be here.”

“All true Jimmy. This place is faker than Gilmour’s act. I truly do hate this place but we are here because a guy named Bob Dilmore…”

“Dilmore sir? Like Gilmour? Are they related?”

“No they aren’t. Their names are actually spelled differently. But anyway, Bob contacted me through my lawyer, apparently Hollywood wants to make a movie about my life.”

“Really?”

“Yes, apparently they are completely out of ideas, which seems to jive with their trend of nonstop reboots and movies based on books. In their defense my story is pretty awesome and I could see how it might be appealing to the American audience.”

“I would see a movie about you sir.”

“I know you would Jimmy. I know you would.”

“Are you going to do it? Let them make the movie?”

“Well that’s why we are here Jimmy. Well, that’s why I am here. I’ll be in a meeting with Bob and executive team. You will be sitting in the waiting area, if you are lucky chat with Bob’s secretary. She sounded hot on the phone.”

“Sounds lovely sir.”

“It could be. If you play your cards right. Jimmy, word of advice. Just act confident, even if you are cowering on the inside, just man cowboy up and act like the most confident mother fucker the world has ever seen. You would be amazed at how much that works. Women dig confidence. And deep pockets. You don’t have the latter but you can fake the former. I have faith in you.”

“Thanks boss. I appreciate that.”

“Seriously Jimmy, take my advice. It’s free and it will get you far in life, at the very least you will get your noodle wet. At the worst you get rejected. Won’t be the last time I’m sure.”

“Believe it or not sir, I don’t get rejected very often.”

“I choose not. How much longer until we get there Jimmy. I want to get the hell out of this fucking city.”

“10 minutes sir. Depending on traffic.”

“Jimmy, what are you doing this weekend?”

“Nothing specific sir. Do you need something?”

“I need someone to carry my bags. I have a match on Sunday.”

“You are wrestling on the weekend? Since when?”

“Since some douche who has never seen a toothbrush decided to put on a show in London and asked me to be a part of it.”

“So you need me to travel to London with you and carry your bags?”

“Yes Jimmy. Way to put 2 and 2 together there. That was impressive.”

“I guess I can do that. When are we leaving?”

“Friday morning. And don’t worry Jimmy, I will pay you overtime. If that’s what you are concerned about.”

“I wasn’t worried about that at all sir. I’ve never been to London. I hear it’s a wonderful place.”

“If you can get passed the lack of dental hygiene it’s not too bad. Tell you what, how about we go a couple of days early so you can experience London, would that be something you would be interested in?”

“Really?”

“Sure why the hell not. I don’t believe I have anything special going on the rest of the week that I can’t handle when I get back. Or, better yet, let Erica handle. That is what I pay her for right?”

“I suppose so.”

“Trust me Jimmy, it is. Her most important job is to do the things I don’t feel like wasting my time on.”

“Is that why she goes to all those meetings and what not?”

“Sure is. One day Jimmy, I am going to leave this, my empire to you. And on that day you can sit back and watch as everyone does your bidding.”

“Are you serious?”

“Are you fucking kidding me? Why would I leave you my empire? If you are lucky I will leave you some more tips on how to get the ladies but as far as my empire goes, assuming NAZI hasn’t killed Erica, it will probably go to her. She is after all the most qualified person left to run it. She practically does it now.”

“That’s true.”

“What are you saying Jimmy? Are you saying I don’t run my own business? That I let someone else do it? That I am useless?”

“No sir, I, I…I just didn’t know how to respond. I panicked.”

“When are you going to learn Jimmy, when are you going to figure out when I’m busting your balls and when I’m not?”

“Probably never sir.”

“That’s a shame. It’s always so unfortunate when people never learn. No one wants to rehash the same things over and over again. It’s very dull. Don’t be dull Jimmy.”

“Yes sir.”


To Be Continued