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Great Buzzard Eli James IV · **01-08-2014, 10:56 AM**

The sun has settled and a crackling noise is heard from a small camp fire. Eli James is sitting on a large rock with a few others circling the fire keeping warm. One of the men has a camcorder recording a promo Eli plans to send out regarding his match with Stevie Tyler and John Raide.

"This guy. Entertainment at its finest. Funny thing about entertainment is it changes... it's not stable.. and that, Johnny boy, is what you remind me of.. someone who is unstable. I really did enjoy your promo. It made me laugh and realize how right I really am when it comes to you. You were so kind to dissect my words of truth, so I figure I'd return the favor Johnny boy.

When I say revealing truth.. you come back calling it.. bullshit. I applaud ya. A strong word that hurt me to the core of my being. I've never had my words called that. Never. It brought water to my eyes and made my heart sink. After you said that, it made me think about my entire life and everything I've been preaching here upon my arrival. It made me question Almighty.. it made me question everything I've ever done to help someone in need or to strike judgment upon for their evil ways. You.. Johnny boy.. with your ever-so-clever choice of word.. bullshit.. challenged me and my message at its core. A wonderful job. A magnificent masterpiece you've constructed.

To place even more doubt in my mind... you were able to convince me I am tired! I do have some weight attached to my body, and because of this... it results in me being tired. I sweat when I fight. That equals being tired. I tell ya, boys... this John Raide is profound.

He's makin' me question everything!

He even says my jockstrap smells... I'm not sure how he knows that, but we'll go with it. After all, he's the great and clever John Raide.

To top it all off.. here it comes.. the icing on the cake.. John says I'm not truth, that he is! It's the twist of the century.

Everything I've worked for.. everything I've spoke about... it comes to the surface. Pack up your bags everyone.. I've been found out.. John Raide finally destroyed Eli James. We're on bullshit mountain. He loves that word. And he's on the course of truth. Congratulations, Johnny Boy.. you did it.

Eli starts clapping his hands very slowly.

"Now that sarcasm is out of the way.. ya do know sarcasm don't ya? Let me get back to the reality of everything for Mr. Raide here. Do you actually think your name callin', talkin' about my weight, calling yourself truth, and calling my talk bullshit is the first to ever hit my ears? I've been called worse.. and the worst came from men who weren't cowards. You don't have to explain yourself to me again and again... I get it. You want me gone. There's plenty who want me gone and who have tried to end me.. yet here I stand. There's nothing you have that those others didn't have.

You wanna talk about my repeating? Since you hate things that are repeated...

Calling my message false, or bullshit. Been done before.

Calling me big, or that I have extra weight. Heard it. Good observation by pointing out the obvious, genius.

Makin' fun of me, or whomever is aligned with me, for living in the south.

Poking fun at what I wear as if you see me everyday of the week beyond Warfare.

It's ALL been said before, and you've just become the thing you hate me doin.. repeating. The difference is I repeat truth, and you repeat things out of ignorance or in plain observation such as my weight. I applaud that sort of wisdom.. its the kind of wisdom gained from a coward who thinks he's some sort of tough guy.

A man was raised in a town of 10,000 people. He began to bully kids early on, and grew up causing fear to everyone who heard his name. He was the man you feared in that town. His name would cause your hair to stand up. One day, he decided to venture out into another place.. a bigger place.. and because of who he was... he thought it would carry over wherever he went. He ended up in a city with over 500,000 people.. and he tried his way and it failed. It failed miserably. He came to realize he's not as big as he thought he was. That man is you, John Raide. You came from wherever thinkin' your gonna do something big. Your stupidity kicked in when you decided to call me out and after I was ever-so-kind to give you advice to wait it out... you bitched... you went to your own little town in tears wantin' a fight with ole Eli and you didn't get your way... and a few weeks go back and you get your chance. The problem is your the same little coward that attacked me and the same scared boy I heard talk when you first came.

If you wanna do somethin' new.. then PROVE ME WRONG!

Ever since I started preachin'... people come up sayin' I speak lies... bullshit, as you call it.. fallacies... myths.. and I'm just a preacher who's a bit crazy.. well.. then like I've told everyone else.. prove it. I've not said anything in private that I don't share publically... so by all means reveal my lies.

I find it funny you call me weak, yet your whole goal is to get rid of me. You know what I do if I see someone weak? I let them wait it out and kill themselves. No purpose in throwing pearls before swines.. and if they happen to get in my way I simply end it for 'em... but goin' out looking for the so-called weak.. I guess that's the world of a coward.. parading on the weak instead of going after the strong. The truth is you know I'm strong.. and that is why you challenged me. You know what I speak is truth and that is why you wanna get rid of me like many others.

You can say all the pretty things ya want... but truth reveals itself. So let's look at truth...

What has John Raide done? He's attacked me after a match. He won another match, I haven't really paid much attention.. and now he's fightin' me.

What have I done? Became a tag team champion. Became the United States Champion. Defeated people like Neonero, Sebastian Duke, Mystica, Tony Santos, Stevie Tyler, Mark Flynn, Alexandra Callaway, Crimson Cobra, Knightmask, LJ Havok, Cam Lang, and my list goes on and on.

If you wanna call me weak after that... then I suggest you must speak in opposites.. or you really are that stupid and ignorant of the truth.

Call me hillbilly, southern hick, fat, and whatever other term you'd like to insert. All it does is show your stupidity. I'm southern, yes. Congratulations on that one.

They all start to laugh with Eli.

"I don't think Johnny boy understands symbolism. He thought I literally meant he was lurking in the shadows waiting to attack me.. hehehe. I guess if that went over his head, then what I'm about to say isn't going to make a whole lot of sense...

Let me quote ya.. "If you're forever let's go see you jump off a building and see if your so called messiah will catch you"... I've never mentioned a Messiah. Why go jump off a building to prove anything? Because you want proof? The only proof you get is time. Why explain the whole truth when you can't even grasp the tidbits of what I say already? Then you said, "by ALL means keep believing in your invisible, yet visible, yet translucent man in the clouds"... I never said I believe in a invisible, yet visible, yet translucent man in the clouds. So I don't need to keep believing in that myth. See what I mean, boys? People speak as if they know what they are talkin' about...

They all nod in agreement. Eli stands and walks around a little bit.

"Mr. Raide tries to sound smart, yet he doesn't know symbolism.. or he thinks parables are true stories.. or riddles are literal. How about I come down on your level, John, so you can understand clearly..

Your stupid. You hear me say things in symbolism, yet you speak of them as if it was literal. You say things that are obvious to any other eye and you claim to be truth.. then you conjure up these ideas from a stereotype of a southern preacher and throw them at me. You label me like everyone else so it fits a mold of something you can grasp. You call me names and point things out in hopes you stun me with some sort of big revelation. The truth, boy... is you've stuck your mouth in your foot.. by the way.. that's not literal.. just wanted you to make sure you were aware of that. You came in to challenge me, and now you get your chance to end me... I can't wait to stand by and laugh at the end of the night.

I have a simple question for you, Raide... if your whole purpose was to eliminate me and you fail to do so at Warfare.. then what?

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