We open on Caliban standing in his spotlight, there is a song in the background and he is smiling, he tosses away his joint and starts talking

So big chocolate wants me to talk, OK I thought I did enough of that but obviously he wanted something more personal, also just for the 100 people who messaged me I don't have a fucking instagram account I'm not that kind of artist. So yeah trash talk, my personality is a loud one normally and anyone who has any memory of my original run here will remember that but you see I realized that it's a damn fine way to end up in the 6th row. I mean what can I say about the worlds most generic black wrestler, yer big, yer bald, yah talk about your mommy and daddy not being perfect and how you grew up in Compton and like to call yourself Nigga, because we haven't seen that formula try and fail before, remember when Farooq was supposed to be the biggest thing to ever happen to wrestling? Or when Ahmed Johnson had more potential than any other person in the world of pro wrestling? Yeah neither does anyone else

At this point he pulls out a piece of paper and looks at it

OK so what I have here is generic insults and explanations of what you call a Nigga, some are generic and some are more creative, they do however come from a show called the boondocks because seriously big man, I couldn't find a damn thing about you to talk about so I turned to these guys for help here's the first one

He clears his throat and pulls out a flawless Uncle Ruckus impression from nowhere the Irish accent melts into a typical Louisiana black mans voice, switching to a bratty regular american kids voice to portray Huey the other character in the conversation

Quote:
Uncle Ruckus: Ah, between me and you, your granddaddy shouldn't be too worried. Everybody knows niggas can't fight.

Huey: I'm sorry?

Uncle Ruckus: You heard me, nigga, niggas can't fight. They don't possess the strength of character or the mental quickness to be a great fighter. That's why all the best fighters in the world have always been white men. Jack Dempsey, Rocky Marciano, Sly-vester Stallone, and don't forget Ralph Macchio! Name me one great, black, heavyweight fighter. Name one, go ahead, try, name one. See there? Ya can't do it. What, what what, what? Oh, oh, oh, oh you wanna pull Ali out yo' ass? That what you thinkin' 'bout? Muhammad Ali? Well, if that nigga so tough, then why he didn't go to Vietnam? I'll tell you why. 'Cause he was scared, that's why. Shoot. "No Vietnamese ever called me nigga." I call him a nigga eight times before I have breakfast, now what he gon' do? Hold on, I'll make it nine... NIGGA!

See there you go, now don't get me wrong I know it's bullshit and I have an apartment near David Haye when I stay in London in the UK and I know that guy would annihilate me, oh in case you didn't know this is what a real black man death machine looks like

He holds a picture up to the camera



Bahahaha but anyways back to my list of generic black man statements, the next one is a personal favorite in the Caliban household, the Nigga moment, WHAT YOU TALKIN BOUT WILLIS! I said a nigga moment, lets see here

He shakes out the sheet and clears his throat this time putting on his best condescending tone

Quote:Webster defines the "nigga moment" as a moment when ignorance overwhelms the mind of an otherwise logical Negro male. Causing him to act in an illogical, self-destructive manner... i.e. like a nigga.

And of course my personal favorite

He goes back to the same tone

Quote:I've said it before, expensive sneakers are like a $150 land mines. Step on one and BOOM! A perfectly rational black man can explode.

But of course you would have to be an actual logical person for that to really say anything about you, now however I wanna tell you something about me

He rolls the paper up in a ball and tosses it at the camera bouncing it off the lens, he pops his hood up and smiles wildly

I want both Angel and Peterson to understand what they face tonight, a Caliban does not fight to kill he fights to win, they are 2 completely different things, if you kill something then it is gone, it doesn't feel the loss, but if you leave it irreparably damaged it will live out the rest of its miserable loss of a life knowing what happened and why it is there and the reason why one of you and smokey but I will get to you later, will feel the loss coming upon you for the rest of your miserable lives, there yah go big dog, was that enough talking for you, put the mike down and come show me just how much you wanna finish me, gimme everything you got, I will always have that little bit more BECAUSE I AM BETTER THAN YOU! I am better than the old wrist cutter as well, Tattoos are an art form, scarification is a disease just like you Angel. Tonight I walk back into the XWF ring for the first time in about 7 months and I am coming to take it for my own, this is my backyard now, you walk through it you face me, both you boys just stepped up to the newly hired gate keeper of XWF, time to see if you got what it takes

Caliban bursts into a fit of laughter apologizing from within it between gasps

I tried to take that seriously but come one, but I'll give you one thing, it was as generic as Peterson and as pathetic and Angel so hey maybe I am onto something here, lets find out

He holds his palms to the camera a la AJ Styles, written on them is Angel and Peterson, he them closes them into a fist and across his knuckles is the word FUCKED!! in black marker, the feed cuts out