Crack's phone beeped. It was a notification telling him a video promo had been posted on the XWF website, it was Hank Lane, he posted a video for his match with Frodo.
Come on, let's watch this chump. I bet he makes an ass out of himself.
Frodo and Crack sat down to watch the video. When it was done their jaws hit the floor. They couldn't believe their eyes. Here they were sitting on a bench across the street from IDS electronics in Troy, you know the one off Elliott on the other side of 14. That's where they were.
Can you believe this punk, Crack? Comes to my town, DDTs my fan! A Smackins Fan, a SMAN if you will! And then talks to Pastor Jim Howie over at Bethany Baptist off of West 14 about how terrible I am. Well, Pastor Howie! I am from this town, you yourself baptised me. HOW DARE YOU DENY ME FATHER! YOU LOVED ME ONCE!
Dude, chill out. So what if he's here? That just means he wants to know more about you, I think you scared him. I mean come on, he obviously DDT'd that kid thinking he was you.
Yeah, maybe he was hoping to stun the guy and grope him up, since you know he wants to molest me. I bet he tried to rape that guy, too. Sick fuck. I gotta go get Joseph-Gordon, maybe Hank will try molesting my son! He likes em young, y'know! He's gone rape my baby! CRACK, HE'S GONE RAPE MY BABY!
They got up and headed off towards Clawson High School, you know the one on John M avenue. Frodo is from Clawson, dammit! It was a bit of a walk, but Frodo had to save his son from that sick baby rapist. Frodo is not down with Baby Rape, or really rape of any kind. He's more of a consensual sex with multiple partners kind of guy. Even when he's fucked up, and he's usually fucked up.
When they arrived Principle Ryan Sines greeted them in the office.
Hey, Ryan. It's me Mr. Ward, you know Joseph-Gordon Ward's father. I'm here to sign him out of class for the day. I wanna spend time with my boy. I've only got one, you know.
I'm sorry, Mr. Ward, but you aren't allowed to, not according to the boy's mother. She told us that if you came here we'd need to call the police because according to her you are a deranged, drugged out, male prostitute, and you would try and sell Joe on the streets for coke. I don't know if that's true or not, but she is his legal guardian.
I am not a male prostitute, I am a professional wrestler, I wrestle gay men for money. One of them is a pedophile, and he came here to rape me, and possibly Joseph-Gordon. I have to protect my baby boy. Only got one of them, y'know.
I do understand, Mr. Ward, but rules are rules, so please leave. Go speak to your ex wife, maybe she can sort this out. And no pedophile will rape your son, here. We'll make sure of that. Even one as creepy as that Hank Lane guy, dude seriously creeps me out.
With a huff and a puff Frodo and Crack headed off towards Gwen's house, over on Crooks. They took a cab this time, that's a bit more of a walk than Frodo is used to. When they arrived and knocked on the door, Joseph-Gordon opened the door.
Hey, buddy. It’s me, your daddy. Do you know me? It’s been so long since I’ve seen you. You’re so big now. I missed you.
Dad, I saw you two weeks ago. You were high then, I think you might be high again. Are you ever sober?
Yeah, yeah, I’m high. I don’t do sober, not since I left that job out in California and came home. Guess what, though. I got a new job. I’m a pro wrestler. I’m in the XWF, isn’t that cool?
Yeah, it really is. I love the XWF! Do you know Hank Lane? He’s the best! Can I meet Hank Lane?
HANK LANE IS CHILD RAPIST! HE TOUCHES LITTLE BOYS IN THE BUTT! HE IS A SICK MOTHER FUCKER! I HOPE HE GETS HIT BY A BUS!
Sore, subject Joe, your dad has a match with him soon, and he’s pretty heated about Hank for some reason. I think it’s the moustache.
Why did Crack always have to be the voice of reason?
HANK LANE IS BETTER THAN YOU! YOU DRUGGED OUT GAY HOBBIT! GO SUCK GANDALF’S DICK, BITCH!
Frodo back handed Joseph-Gordon, and knocked him down. Then he jumped on top of Joseph.
I AM FRODO MOTHER FUCKING SMACKINS! I AM KING OF THE GODDAMNED DWARVES YOU LITTLE SHIT STAIN! YOU CAME FROM MY BALLS, YOU HAD BETTER RESPECT ME! I KNOW YOU FUCK THE FOOTBALL TEAM! I WILL PUT YOU UP FOR ADOPTION! SAY HANK LANE IS A BABY RAPIST! SAY IT OR I’LL HIT YOU AGAIN!
Frodo began to beat the child mercilessly while screaming random obscenities at him. After this continued for a minute Crack tried to pull Frodo off the boy.
Come on, dude. That’s your son, don’t treat him like that, you love him. You tell me all the time. Just walk away.
As Frodo scurried away Crack handed the phone to Joseph-Gordon, after helping him up.
He got this for you, he really does love you. And so do I.
Thank you, Uncle Crack. I love you, too. And Windows phones suck. Apple is better.
Frodo came running back screaming about Apple while Crack pushed Joseph in the house, and shut the door.
I’ll call you later, Joe. Don’t mention that company around your pops, though![/color]
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