Jenny Jenny...

Payne: (807)867-5309...



Hunter dials the number of his seldom-seen girlfriend Jenny Alvin. Hunter asked her to take part in his Shove It show, but she never responded.


Now he is stuck in solitary confinement.



Also Known As his room.



It is your sterotypical bachelor pad bedroom. Lava lamp, silk sheets, just the works. All to impress the random women Hunter used to have over, but now all that has changed with his relationship with Jenny Alvin. Even though she is all the way up in Canada somewhere with the likes of Bret Hart, Terrence and Phillip, Scott Pilgrim, and... that's about it for famous people in Canada, and 3 of them were fictional. So what's that tell you about Canada? I'll tell you what it says about Canada... It sucks Mapleleaf dick to live there!


Hunter is losing his fucking mind over the fact that this woman doesn't bother contacting him in any shape, form, or fashion. He jump-falls onto his bed while he waits for the call to connect...After multiple rings her cell phone goes to voicemail.




BEEP!




Payne: Hey babe, this is your boyfriend Hunter. I don't know if you remember but you do in fact have a boyfriend, and he is standing right here. Alone. Can you call me back? Okay. Bye.



Hunter Payne disconnects the call.



Payne: Oh I forgot to tell her something! I'll call her back. Maybe this time she'll actually answer...


(807)867-5309




Again, the call goes to voicemail. This understandably upsets Hunter Payne. Who forgets his original train of thought.




BEEP!



Payne: How hard is it to pick up a fucking phone in Canada?!



Hunter Payne hangs up immediately after the angry message. He really wasn't mad at the country of Canada. He was mad at his girlfriend Jenny Alvin, because he was, uhh... "sprung on dat puss" as Crimson Dong would put it. Being the idiot that he is, Hunter decided to redial Jenny's number and leave another voicemail! As if the first wasn't incrminating enough for him.


Payne: (807)867-5309



...



BEEP!




Payne: You have got some fucking nerve! So who are you fucking behind my back Jenny?! You're just like Joy!! Ugh! Bitch!


Hunter hangs up again. Regret immediately starts to set in. Hunter grabs his pillow and begins sufficating himself, while screaming into his pillow in frustration!


After a few moments of that, the scene changes to Hunter punching his pillow. This pillow is really taking a punishment.


Soon after that scene, Hunter begins cuddling the same pillow. Lots of mixed emotions here.



Hunter eventually grabs his phone again. Please don't call her again!... Yep. he's dialing...



Payne: I have to apologize to her...



(807)867-5309



As Hunter waits for the call to connect, he begins to see visions of his girlfriend Jenny Alvin with another guy.










BEEP!




Payne: OH!!! YOU FUCKING WHORE! Too busy fucking some other guy to pick up your phone! Do know how many times I've been down this road?! I thought you were different... But you're just like the rest of them! It's over bitch!!!




Hunter Payne hangs up and tosses his phone to the ground. It takes a small bounce and lands nearby.


Hunter on the verge of some very manly tears. Grabs the remote and turns on his flat screen TV. The channel it turns on to is showing Forest Gump. On a scene where Forest is yelling "Jenny!... Jenny!"


Hunter turns off the television to avoid getting even more emotional. It doesn't work, and he throws the remote at the flat screen, cracking it.



Payne: Fuck!



Payne unable to escape his own mental prison, grabs his phone once again. Don't call her again dude! He begins to dial...



Payne: (807) 867-5309



Suddenly Hunter snaps and chucks his phone out a nearby window. Could've just hung up, but I guess it was more fitting to throw the phone down a couple stories and have it hit somebody below.



After physically exhausting himself, Hunter Payne lays on his bed in defeat. He looks at the little prickles or bumps on his ceiling. Just thinking to himself before speaking out loud... to himself.



Payne: Relationships are hard...



Rather than going to retrieve his sturdy phone, Hunter Payne just closes his eyes and goes to sleep.