(Benjamin Crane is in the ring with the cheap, generic looking monolith looming behind him)

Crane: HEY EVERYBODY!!

crowd: (mixed reaction)

Crane: WHO'S GOT A CUP OF SOMETHING?

crowd: (yells random things)

Crane: A program? I WANNA DIP MY BALLS IN IT!!

(the crowd cheers and laughs)

Crane: I'm really glad some of you got that reference. The State, early 90's tv show. Go look it up. Anyways, why am i so hyped up this week? Well, I think it's pretty obvious why- it's the return of Approach The Monolith! Yeah, the past few weeks i've been in an asylum, a goth club, walking the streets of Nashville but FINALLY it's old Ben Crane and the monolith once again.

HOWEVER, there is another reason for my excitement. I know you guys saw what happened last week. I was in a tag match with with Cassius Stonne as my partner. Got my ass handed to me, I tag the guy in and he loses the match immediately. It was basically a home game for me and then that's the way i go out. (sigh) Once upon a time in a previous promotion i used to be tag team champions. Now, either i get some scrub who can't last 2 minutes in an XWF ring or my partner turns on me and becomes part of the Black Circle.

So I have to be honest, I was pretty down after the match. Losing in front of my peeps like that really pissed me off so I made Stonne see The Blackest Night. And I probably would have came into tonight mad as hell until I found out who XWF had booked for me this week and WOW, I couldn't believe it. I mean, this guy is an honest to god pop culture icon. I've seen him on tv doing commercials all the time. Everyone in this building knows him and for some reason i was chosen to be his opponent tonight. And let me say I am TRULY honored. I'm so tweaked by the thought of actually being in the same ring as him I don't know that I can wait any longer.

If you're back there watching, I want you out here, these people want you out here, just come on out!

(camera switches to the entrance and Bryan King's music comes on)

(but instead of Bryan King coming out, its.....

THE BURGER KING)



(the crowd starts laughing and some start facepalming over how ridiculous this is)

(The King makes his way down to the ring high fiving people in the audience on his way)

(he walks up the steps, climbs in between the ropes and puts up his dukes getting ready to fight Crane)

Crane: Whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn't say I wanted to fight, I just wanted to meet THE Burger King. (extends his hand)

(The King shakes Crane's hand)

Crane: Now I don't know what brings you to XWF but we are sure glad to have ya!

(The King plays to the crowd)

Crane: Oh, but there is something you should probably know though. All that stuff i said about not being pissed off and in a bad mood? I lied.

(Crane quickly grabs The King, lifts him up over his head, lets go, brings up his knees for a BLACKEST NIGHT)

Crane: (gets up, grabs the mic, looks down at The King scowling) The lesson for tonight? Don't make The Monolith angry. Cuz you wouldn't like him when he's angry.

(suddenly Dave the production assistant rolls into the ring and Crane looks at him angrily)

(Dave pleads for him not to beat him up and pulls out a mic from his pocket)

Dave: I'm sorry Mr. Crane, I don't mean to interrupt but I think you may have misunderstood.

Crane: Yeah?

Dave: Yes, you see your opponent is Bryan King, not,,, Burger King.

Crane: Bryan King? Well, hell, I've already took out one King, I'll take out another.

(Crane exits the ring and Dave tries to revive The Burger King)