Sunday, Dec 15th
Allstate Arena in Chicago!
(Do not bring cameras into the arena or we will take them and smash them in front of you and your children)
Every match has a 20 minute time limit
Connor McBride
-
vs -
Mr. Radio
X-treme Rules
Mr. Radio started out with an early attack and roll up that Connor was able to reverse into a pin of his own. The ref's hand actually sounded like it hit the canvas but Radio had kicked out just a split second before the three!
From there the action went back and forth pretty evenly for several minutes. Connor would eventually gain control and find himself in a position to deliver a finisher but Radio surprised him with a low blow and an instant pick up into the Around the Galaxy! Radio covers for the three and Connor tries to put his foot on the bottom rope but that does not break a pin in an x-treme rules match as the three count is complete.
Steve Davids
-
vs -
Smoke Man
X-treme Rules
After a quick back and forth exchange, Steve Davids gains complete control by catching Smoke Man with his Game Over finisher! Davids grabs the ring steps but those aren't the only things he smashes Smoke Man with. He uses chairs, the ring bell, and the referee as a weapon by powerbombing him into Smoke Man!
About ten minutes into the match, Smoke Man gets a breather because Steve Davids starts trying to wake the referee up. He knows he's got it won! The ref slowly starts to move and Steve Davids turns right around into a chokeslam from Smoke Man! He locks in the Smokescreen armbar but Davids refuses to tap, eventually fighting his way out because of how weakened Smoke Man is from the abuse he took earlier. Davids scrambles to his feet but Smoke Man is right there with him. A brief exchange into another choke slam from Smoke Man, but this time an instant cover for the win as Davids kicked out just a split second after the three count.
NAZI
-
vs -
Fandango
WrestleDanceOff, 1 Fall
Wrestling moves and dance moves allowed
If a star can perform 30 seconds straight dance moves without getting hit, he wins! Alternatively, pinfalls also gain a win
***Heiling and goose-stepping count as dance moves too***
Fandango dazzles us with his dancing all the way to the ring and continues it once the bell rings. NAZI looks at him like he's a
, almost afraid to lay his hands on the hip gyrating queer.
Fandango keeps dancing though...
NAZI suddenly remembers that for some stupid reason you can win this match if you dance for 30 seconds straight, and he blitzes toward Fandango with a fiery, homo-hating rage. He puts a beat down on Fandango like he tried to steal his bike or something. Eventually it leads outside of the ring where NAZI drags Fandango over to the ring steps. He places Fandango face down telling him to bite the bottom step!
OH NO! HE'S GOING TO CURB STOMP HIM ON THE STEP!!!
STOMP!
The echo of that hallowed out steel is a welcomed sound. It means Fandango rolled out of the way just in time and got back into the ring. After surprising NAZI with a pelvis thrust into a low-blow splits type of move, Fandango started breakdancing all over NAZI, jamming his knees and elbows into him and even his head into him at every twist and turn. NAZI finally catches hold of him by the neck, Fandango's already spinning momentum causing a type of neck cracking move that instantly brings Fandango down. NAZI tightens the hold until he's sure Fandango is passed out. NAZI releases and stands up, extends his hand with a mighty HEIL and begins goose stepping around the ring. 10 seconds... 20... 25... and with one loud, mighty HEIL we reach 30 seconds of dance moves from NAZI.
MAIN EVENT
Peter Gilmour
-
vs -
John Madison
OMG can you imagine if Gilmour wins that would be so epic
Gilmour has his back turned and he's rolled up by Madison. Madison grabs a handful of tights and pulls hard, showing the audience Gilmour's bare ass! The ref doesn't see it!
1...
2...
KICKOUT by Gilmour!
Gilmour gets to his feet and tries to pull his pants back up, but Madison nails him with a knee to the side of his head sending Gilmour to the outside bare ass and all!
What's this!? Some lardass is climbing over the security rail. IT'S P.T. "FATBACK" FILMOUR! He stares at Gilmour's naked ass and licks his lips. Fatback is getting something out of his pocket. Oh, no...He's got lube! He drenches his hands and arms with the bottle of lube and starts walking towards Gilmour.
He's right behind him. Fatback makes a fist and holds it up to the crowd while grinning like a goddamn idiot.
Crowd: GET UP IN HIM *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP* GET UP IN HIM *CLAP CLAP CLAPCLAPCLAP*
Before Fatback can get up in him, security rushes ringside and it takes about 20 of them to get his fatass away.
Fatback: YOUR TIME'S COMIN', PETEY! YOU GONE GET YOUR FATBACK!
Once this took place, Madison knew it was open season. He grabbed a crow bar from under the ring and starting shoving the curved end into Gilmour's ass.
Madison: If Fatback can't get up in ya this week, I'll stand in!
With Gilmour face down and the crowbar sticking straight up in the air out of his ass, John tries stepping up onto the tip of the crow bar and standing on it but he loses his balance. This ultimately gives Gilmour the chance to grab the crowbar and beat Madison with it relentlessly!
Back in the ring it's Gilmour with a Gilmour Cutter to John Madison! John had hold of the ref though who got taken down. While Gilmour's trying to revive him, Madison eventually starts to move and hits a low blow. He tries sucking Peter's dick but Peter shoves him away which confuses Madison. A HUGE debate about dick sucking commences and the fans even get into it. Different homophobic chants get thrown at both wrestlers... all kinds of dick sucking motions and humping motions are exchanged between Madison and Gilmour and most of the front row... Gilmour finally screams SUCK MY DICK and Madison screams I TRIED! Gilmour is enraged by that response and charges... but Madison hits the Rebellion!
Instead of pinning he starts beating Gilmour with a spiked dildo. The ref is still down anyway but the timer is still going!
Madison has fans toss him weapons as he brutalizes Gilmour with glee, but just as the ref wakes up...
BZZZZZZZZZZZ!
The time limit has expired!
Madison didn't care. He continued abusing Gilmour even as the ref finally stepped in and told him the time ran out. Madison kindly thanked the official for the update and continued assaulting Gilmour for another 20 minutes until...
OH FUCK!
ROSE SMITH!
GILMOUR SMITH CUTTER!!!!!
WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK, YO!!!!!!!!!!!! THE FANS LOSE THEIR MINDS!
ROSE SMITH JUST DESTROYED JOHN MADISON WITH THE MOTHER OF ALL GILMOUR CUTTERS! This feud is clearly nowhere near finished!
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