Shall I offer up a response to Alabaster Green, or say something to Jow Tuesday? Hmm, decisions, decisions. I could flip a coin, leave it up to chance and all that good shit. However, I think it's only fitting that I respond to the only one of the two who managed to get specific with shots aimed at me. Fired at me, however failing to do the most vital of all functions: hitting me. Let's dive into this kiddie pool of saying only the bare essentials needed to cover your ass at least somewhat, shall we?
Oh, I knew I shouldn't have dropped that Stockholm Syndrome comment on you, I just knew that you wouldn't understand it, and now I'm paying the price for it with a fucking lecture about who you are, or more accurately, who you were. Because you aren't that man/woman/thing anymore. As I've said before, numerous times, you're washed up. Past your prime, and you obviously can't go like you used to, no matter how much you try to tell yourself that you can, and you try to convince all of us, no one buys it.
Because you're lying to us. Just admit that you're in way over your head already, so we can make this euthanasia much, much easier. No one likes an old dog running from his fate, and right now, you are that old dog. We're just trying to make this painless.
Okay, I'm lying. I'm actively trying to make this as unbearable for you as physically possible. Partially because of this glowing rift of disrespect from the both of us. So please, go on tell everyone all about how you made it with no support like you're the only person who has ever had that happen to them. Let's all drop what we're doing and blindly support Alabaster for overcoming adversity!
Oh, right. Every wrestler has to face some fucking adversity, go through spats of zero support, self doubt and shit like that. Once again, he/she proves just how average they are. Nothing special about your past, so stick to the present where even the lowest form of scum on the roster can eek out a victory over you.
And since I'm well above that scum, I'll have no trouble at all. And, let me just get this little gem from ole Alabaster on the screen for a moment. Truly, this is the hardest he went after me in the entirety of his promo, so why not highlight it for all to remember fondly (and by that, I mean laugh at it):
Quote:If you think I am afraid of some psychotic lunatic with split personality disorder, You are sadly mistaken.
Oh shit! He hit me with the "I'm not afraid of you" remark! Wow, that's intimidating. I'm being as serious as I possibly can be right now, I assure you. This is real tough shit I found myself in. I mean, my whole tactic is to get people afraid of me because I'm some kind of lunatic, right? Wait a second, when have I ever mentioned people should be intimidated by me because I have DID? Oh right, never! You should be afraid of me because like you've admitted, you can't actually wrestle.
You know, the thing you're contracted to do? That thing? Yeah.
So please, go on and on about who you were, the hardcore brawler that's no different than any of the other no talents who show up under that same premise. Because that's all it took to be a legend in those old days of the XWF, where guys like "Hardcore Smitty" and "Outsider Stone" were apparently huge names. What's next, are you going to turn into Peter Gilmour and talk about the Three Muskateers of who gives a fuck anymore too?
Oh, these guys are even older than those stooges?
Fuck. Even less people who remember them, then. So please, bring the combined force of those hacks to the ring and see if your spirit animals can help you in the slightest. Spoiler alert: they won't. You'll actually have to do something on your own. I know, it's scary, and you won't succeed, but if you aren't going to run scared, at least try.
And, for Joe Tuesday. Hey Joey, what's the matter? Got cold feet? I mean, we've had arguments in the past and I thought all that would accomplish the task of getting you more and more wound up for this match. Seeing as you're only back because you need to fulfill your obligations I guess I see a massive apathy-fest happening, because after all, you don't really want to be here, do you?
At least, that's what you've said in the past.
So, if you're not giving a fuck, I guess I shouldn't either.
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