We see a big gym full of people working out, some larger statures than others, some look like they never lifted a weight a day in their life, and others look like they just got out of prison. We slowly start panning towards the gym entrance doors.

BAM!

The gym doors bust open as we switch to slow motion. In comes Hunter Payne in workout gear. Looking like the hot Latin stud that he is. The whole gym turns to see him due to the loud BAM they heard, Hunter takes a few steps still in slow motion of course, before looking behind him and noticing he was alone. So he then heads back out in slow motion. Only to come back a few seconds later with comedian Kevin Hart right behind him. They continue to walk into the gym in slow motion to 'Rough Riders Anthem' by DMX. It is the most un-gangster thing you've ever seen. Especially with what Kevin is wearing.









We start to go in regular motion once again as Hunter and Kevin make their way towards the weights. Hunter starts to curl a set of 75 pound dumbbells. Not too much, but more than enough to say I'm a strong motherfucker. As Hunter counts his reps, Kevin begins to speak to him.


Kevin: Wait aren't you gonna stretch first nigga?



Payne: Ummm no?



Kevin: Hunter, you're a professional wrestler! You need to stretch! Just follow my lead.



Kevin proceeds to stretch is adductors in a very homoerotic way, way too close to Hunter by the way. If you don't know what an adductor stretch looks like, well...








Payne: Kev, get your sweaty balls away from me!



Kevin: What?! A man can't stretch his inner thigh without you getting homophobic?



Payne: I'm not homophobic, I just don't want your dick or balls anywhere near me!



Kevin: You gonna learn today..... You gonna learn what a LONG DICK looks like today!



Hunter rolls his eyes and continues to curl his weights. Kevin however, decided to hit on the nearby women. Which would be fine, except if you remember, he has ugly ass green workout attire on. Kevin begins to slick talk a beautiful woman, who is curling considerably less weight than Hunter.



Kevin: Hey baby, do you know who I am?



The beautiful woman turns, takes one look at Kevin, and replies.



Woman: The Green Lantern?



Payne: Hahahahaha!!!



The beautiful woman gets creeped out by Kevin and walks away.



Kevin: Whatever bitch! Come on Hunt, I need you to spot me.



In the middle of curling some heavy fucking weights, Hunter gives Kevin an angry glare.



Payne: Phhh! ... 11! ... Phhh! .... 12! ....



Kevin: Alright, you look good. Let's go.



Hunter angerly puts his weights back and goes with Kevin to bench press. Kevin tries to put 45 pounds on one side but struggles, so Hunter helps him put the weight on the bar. Then Kevin gets another 45 pound weight and needs assistance with that one as well.



Payne: You sure you wanna try to lift this Kev?



Kevin: Hey, fuck you. Don't argue! I'm a man! I think I know how much weight I can handle. 180 is nothin' nigga!



Payne: 225. The bar is 225 Kev.



Kevin: Well damn... 225 really?.. Uhhh... Fuck it.



Kevin goes to the other side and looks at Hunter before even attempting to lift the somewhat heavy weight. Hunter doubles it just like the other side. And Kevin lays on the bench and grasps the bar, and starts making loud noises to get everybody's attention.



Kevin: AHHH!!! WOOOO!!!! GRRR!!!! AHHHH!!!! WOOOOO!!!! GRRRR!!!!! AHHHHHH!!!! WOOOO!!!!! GRRRR!!!!



Payne: Just lift the damn weight already!


Kevin: Don't rush me!


Kevin takes another minute making random noises. Eventually Hunter loses interest and starts looking around.



Kevin: AHHHH!!!!!!



Woman: Oh my God! You're Ray Peterson!



Payne: What? where?



Kevin: AHHHH!!!!!!



Kevin is somehow able to lift the weight, and it immediately drops to his chest. Kevin unable to lift so much wait calls for his spotter, who is distracted.








Kevin: Help me.... Help..me.... NIGGA!.... Help!.... Me!...



Payne: Oh shit, sorry Kev! I didn't think you would actually lift it.



Hunter lifts the 225 pound bar rather easily and resets it. Kevin is catching his breath.



Kevin: Nigga!...



Payne: Great, hey Kev you put this stuff away. I'm going to go talk to a famous person.



Kevin yells at Hunter as he walks towards Ray Peterson.



Kevin: And I'm not famous?! Asshole...




Hunter walks up to Ray Peterson who is taking a break from his workout to sign a few autographs.







Payne: Well, hello there Mr. Peterson...



Peterson: Hey, you got something for me to sign?



Payne: No, but I hear you've been kicked out of multiple fighting leagues due to substance abuse!



Oh shit! Hunter just said the S word! You shouldn't say that in a room full of roided out meatheads. Ray Peterson gets right in Hunter's face!



Kevin: Hunter!



Kevin runs up to the scene, calls a timeout with his hands, and pulls Hunter to the side for a quick chat just between them.



Kevin: Hunter, you know I got your back, but do you mind not picking a fight with the biggest fucking guy in the gym!!!



Payne: Relax Kev! "I got this!!!"



Kevin looks over to the gigantic Ray Peterson, then back at Hunter Payne before continuing the conversation.



Kevin: Well, in case you don't, I'll be by the door. Peace nigga.



Kevin speed walks to the gym doors like a bitch. I thought he had Hunter's back? I guess not. Hunter Payne now walks back and gets in Ray Peterson's face!



Peterson: Dude, what is your problem?!



Payne: My problem is you. You, Ray Peterson let so many people down, including myself, because you couldn't stop juicing! You're tough enough to fight anybody and yet you still decided to use performance enhancers. It's pathetic!


Peterson: You don't think I know that?!



Payne: Huh?



Peterson: Look I've already gotten the Lance Armstrong treatment from everybody else, I gave all that bad stuff up, not that anybody cares now. I don't need to hear it from you. Who are you anyway and why do you look familiar?



Payne: I am Hunter Payne, and I am a professional wrestler.


Peterson: That's where I've seen you! You're the guy who thinks his hot girlfriend is cheating on him right?



Payne: Uhh... Yes, but that was months ago! I broke up with her... Well technically she was cheating on me. So I broke up with her. And now she's no longer with the company and the guy she was cheating on me with got his head chopped off. True shit... not by me though... I didn't kill anybody.



Peterson: Alright then...



Payne: Anyway, I kinda started this group called the Straight Edge Xtreme. If you're serious and you did quit, I'd be happy to recommend a job for you. That way you can become a success story who turned his life around.



Peterson: What would I have to do?



Payne: Just stay clean and sober, and I can get you a job so you can get your once great reputation back.



Peterson: Hmmm, alright I'm in.



The two men shake hands and Hunter looks over and Kevin is still by the door, ready to book it out of there.



Payne: Ray Peterson, welcome to The Straight Edge Xtreme!... Hey, can you do me a favor? Can you scare my friend? He's that short black man ready to run out by the door.



Peterson: Yeah, sure thing.



Ray Peterson looks over and Kevin and starts to walk towards him.



Peterson: You're dead little man!



Kevin: OH SHIT! AHHHHHH!!!



Kevin runs out of the gym absolutely terrified. Hunter begins to laugh his ass off as the promo ends.