Normally it would be my success but even that gets overpowered by the raw sewage smell that still radiates off my damn dirty mask after Sarah Saint Shitstains got me in a 69 against my will!
I'd ask if yah could suh-meeeeeeelllll that shit a mile away but I already know they're smelling it up in every last corner of the universe! We're probably gonna be fuckin' invaded by aliens for polluting outer space so badly with this stench and I've somehow survived this long with it directly up my nostrils this whole time! DAMN I'M GOOD!
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Mr. XWF: So guess what the fuck I did this week?
I look at all you dumb bitches as I wait for one of y'all to answer but I know you're all too fuckin' stupid to even guess! Why? Because nobody has a damn clue just how fuckin' smizzart AND DR. X-TREMITY MEANS SMIZZART, HE REALLY IS!
Mr. XWF: I had that sexual predator Sarah Saint James arrested for violating this boy with the big ol' dick!
I take pride in my announcement as I laugh a little bit and keep all of you wondering what the fuck I'm talking about.
Mr. XWF: Hahaha that's right niggas and niggletts I had that filthy ass tramp thrown in the slammer AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT MY MASSIVE MEAT STICK! I'M TALKING ABOUT LOCKIN' THAT DIRTY ASS BIMBO BEHIND BARS!
Alright you don't believe me? Let me take you through a little story called memory lane then, and then you'll have no choice but to belie' and I mean belie' The People's Cock! Belie' Dat Shit Playa! It's true as fuck!
.-=.....--=03=90ri Dot dot dot lines lines lines other stuff to separate the shit above from the crap below and GO ---..0-38=-3uu====D:3
So it's a day or two or three after Suck It Saturday Night happens and I'm still smelling Sarah Saint James' rancid ass pussy all over my mask because she had to hit me with some weird as fuck sadistic version of a 69 Driver, right? So I'm coughing and gagging like a nigga do after he been 69'ing that hoe bag and I decide FUCK THIS and I make the decision any sane man would make.
I yell it out loud for ALLLLLLL to hear!
Mr. XWF: It's time...........IT'S TIME.................. IT'S.....................VADAR.....................TIME! NO NO NO NO FUCK THAT SHIT I MEAN TO SAY IT'S TIME TO SLAP CHARGES ON THAT BITCH AND MAKE HER PAY FOR DESTROYING MY MASK AND SATURATING IT IN A STENCH THAT WILL NEVER COME OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Of course the lady walking her dog nearby gets horrified and looks at me like I'm some kind of doped up freak job who just crawled out of a rhino's asshole but she don't know, AND ADMIRAL APPENDAGE MEANS THAT BITCH JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT I BEEN THROUGH! SHE DON'T KNOW MY TROUBLES, MY STRUGGLES, MY TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS! SHE AIN'T GOT A FUCKIN CLUE SO SHE NEEDS TO EASE UP OFF DEEEEEEEZ NUTS!
Mr. XWF: What da FUCK is you lookin at with your googly eyes and your ugly ass mug? Huh bitch? Huh? YOU WANT A PIECE OF SARGE LARGE AND IN CHARGE?
The woman's dog begins barking at me but let's make one thing clear here, ok? This thing's small as fuck! I could take this dog and literally fit it inside of Sarah Saint James' asshole and then yank it back out and dropkick the damn thing all the way up her pussy! Ok, ok you have a point pretty much any sized dog can fit up her ass hole and pussy hole but for a second I was just going by the imaginary thought of her having a normal sized ass and pussy, well you get the point I think so let's carry on.
Mr. XWF: Yo bitch! Make your damn dog stop barking at me or I'm going to shove it up Sarah Saint James' asshole!
Lady: Who?
Mr. XWF: Oh that's right I forgot nobody knows or cares who the fuck she is! DR. X-TREMITY KNOWS YOU DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHO THAT BITCH IS!
Lady: Who is Dr. X-tremity? And what's that smell?
Mr. XWF: I can answer that with two quick points!
Little did the bitch know, I meant literal pointing of my finger. FIRSTLY pointing to my swollen cock in my spandex body suit and letting her know who the fuck Dr. X-tremity is and secondly pointing to my helmet and letting her know where the smell is coming from.
Lady: So your dick is named Dr. X-tremity and your helmet smells like a vagina that hasn't been washed since medieval times?
Mr. XWF: You is half right and you is half wrong you ugly hoe! Let's just cut to the chase and let it be know, AND PROFESSOR PROCTOLOGIST MEANS KNOWN BITCH! That my cock goes by many many names and this helmet only has one smell on it, and that's the smell of Sarah Saint James! That bitch 69'd me when I wasn't even hard! She could have at least taken a page out of Rose Smith's book and gave me some viagra and paid me 20 bucks or something! Oh and she COULD HAVE TAKEN A DAMN BATH OR AT THE VERY LEAST SPRAYED DOWN HER LOVE CANYON BEFORE STUFFING MY DOME INSIDE OF IT!
The lady has no idea how to respond because she's queer as fuck. Yeah I said it.........dumb bitch is queer as fuck for not knowing how to answer that.
Mr. XWF: Get that stupid look off your face and run along! I'VE GOT A CRIME TO REPORT!
So I start coming toward the bitch like I'm gonna hit her and she runs off, dragging her tiny dog with her as it continues to yelp at my balls. I yell obscenities at her and her stupid dog for a few minutes before I arrive at the police station which was across the street. I'm surprised no police officers saw what was going on and tried to get involved! Then again no I'm not because there's a damn Dunkin Donuts three doors down and THAT'S WHERE ALL THE SQUAD CARS ARE PARKED! That's right their lazy asses can't even walk three doors down to grab some donuts. They all have to drive down and stuff their faces like I unwillingly had my shiny metallic face stuffed with Sarah Saint James' swamp cunt!
I make my way into the police station to find only one cop. ONE FUCKING COP in the whole place but yet if I walk to the donut shop I can find about 20. That's fine though because it should only take one cop to take my complaint.
I walk up and the cop, a young male who looks like he could be a homosexual, greets me and asks how he can help me.
Mr. XWF: Bitch, I want to report a crime and have the hooker who did it get arrested!
Cop: What happened?
Mr. XWF: Sarah Saint James raped me! She 69'd the fuck outta me and left my dome in no shape for scoping out and meeting new hot chicks! Anytime I approach some bitch she instantly smells the pooch juice that Sarah left on me and they run the other way thinking I'm some kind of sick freak!
The cop looks me up and down, now keep in mind I'm in my full body spandex body suit and it's mostly purple and white. I'm also wearing my bigass, sliver, glittery helmet!
Cop: Well sir you seem dressed appropriately and my guess is that your entire outfit is ruined after a run in with that slut!
Alright this guy gets it! Now we're talking!
Mr. XWF: Yeah! Now go find and arrest her so I can live in peace knowing she won't be able to show up on Saturday. I can't risk getting more of her odors on me this soon after almost dying from the smell of her wind tunnel.
Cop: Yes sir, right away sir!
The cop rushes out the door and goes to his squad car. I ride with him and he lets me play with his gun, just randomly shooting it out the window until there are no bullets left. Next he lets me yell at people on the street and tell them I'm going to arrest their ass holes. That doesn't last long though because next thing I know we were pulling up to Sarah's place of residence.
The garbage had been picked up today so her room was empty. I get out of the car and knock on the lid..............
Mr. XWF: Knock knock bizzitch!
Sarah pops her filthy ass motherfuckin head up and out of the trash can she sleeps in and a smell like 50 dead possums rises up from her as soon as she rises. I punch her in the tit and then tell the cop to get her!
Mr. XWF: There she is! Get that bitch! She's resisting arrest! She has a gun! She tried to stab me and threatened to rape you with her dildo!
The cop has heard enough! He runs up and beats her skull in with a night stick while I drop a few boots to her ass in the process.
We load her on top of the car because we don't want the smell killing us while we're on the road, and we drive back to the station. I help the cop get her down from on top of the car and then I crack her in the head with a rock I found on the ground!
Cop: Yeah! Show that bizzitch!
As you can see the cop really was into this and was really my type of guy. He was awesome! We bring Sarah into the station and throw her into the cell with all the hairy black men who look like Tyrone. They rape her anally, vaginally, orally, boobilly, and even in places I didn't know you could stick a dick! She yells and screams in pleasure as the cop and I just look on in fright.
Mr. XWF: This whore will definitely be too busy to show up in North Korea on Saturday. I'll be able to focus my attention on picking up some North Korean women and banging them like a drum!
The cop agrees with me and I get the fuck out of there.
Ok, I'm done with my story and you better believe it was the truth! I look at the camera and I can't help but wonder who believed my story. I already forget half of it because I never cared in the first place, but what I do care about is my next match. I also care about having more sex with Rose Smith in return for 20 bucks a pop. It's going to be funny as shit if that dumb bitch Sarah Saint James doesn't even show up because it's gonna make my story look TRUE AS FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK, NIGGAAAZ!
BELIE' DAT!
I Rock Bottomed this fucking layout baby!
Mr. XWF's status has been changed to: Hitting that running clothesline into a Rock Bottom! You'll be looking up seeing nothing but my cock's bottom!
@MrXwF I'm cruisin for chicks baby! I'm horny as fuck! Who wants to hook up in the club this week? Drinks and Cock Bottoms on me ALLLL NIGHT LONG BABY!
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