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Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson · (10-27-2013)

For this interview Steve I am going to return to my old self, this will be a Rock promo not a Schlong promo. You see The Rock has heard rumblings that some of the other XWF stars and some of the Millions........ and millions of The Rocks fans are upset with The Rock or angry with The Rock for his change in lifestyle.

There was this one kid, Kevin. He was a big time fan of The Rock going way back. He himself is a a grown man now and is upset with The Rock for how he “Behaves now.” Well this Kevin bumped into The Rock the other night and told him exactly how he feels about “The Schlong”.

So there I was, minding my own business doing a line of coke off of a girl’s breasts. I was on vacation in Mexico, you see The Rock and The Triple X Listers love Mexico. Anyway so I was taspped on the shoulder mid snort and it distracted me so much my head accidently nestled between this girls perk breasts... It’s true it was an accident. Anyway so I turned round and who should be stood in front of me......?

Kevin, The Fan.

No it was Marky Mark Wahlberg and Robert Van Winkle aka Vanilla Ice. Apparently there was some shit 90’s white rapper reunion going on. Anyway when I noticed them both there I was like, ”All LL RIGHT STOP, Collaborate and LISTEN, Rocky’s back with a brand new ERECTION, someone, grabs a hold of it tightly, YANK that shit up, daily and nightly.” A this point the Triple X Lister John Travolta turned up and broke into the Saturday Night Fever dance, why? you ask, we don’t know he had just necked his fifteenth beer bong so was convinced he still had the moves. Did he? You ask, No he didn’t, he looked like a bulldog chewing a wasp at the same time as getting rammed in the ass by Militem Dominum, my opponent on Monday Night Madness, that crazy chiselled cat.

Anyway so Ice, Mark Mark and myself had a hell of a night for here on out, The Listers entertained us with the attempts to actually act like they do in there respective television and film roles, Sheldon, um I mean Jim went all Big Bang Geeky on us, trying to hit on everyone woman he saw while acting like Sheldon, No Jim she doesn’t know anything about quantum physics she as a whipped cream bikini on. Ha if i’m honest, after all the years Jim had been on The Big Bang Theory you would have thought he would have learned a little bit about the science that his charactor practices in but no, not a Scooby, thick as fuck, but loved to party. What a night.

Anyway so here we go, lets get this party back on track. So the party was wild and Marky Mark was passed out in a heap of Vanilla Ice's puke it could be worse though his acting career could have been as bad as Ice's was. I mean the highlight of Van Winkles acting career was his 3-4 minute cameo in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: Secret of the Ooze.

Go Ninja's, Go Ninjas, Go.

Hey has anyone ever noticed that fellow wrestler Kevin Nash who appeared in the same film as super shredder in a short cameo near the end, the best thing about that cameo is essentially that Shredder gets huge, scares the turtles then knocks a building or whatever down on top of himself, thus killing himself, pointless scene bit ok Nash probably got a pocket full of cash for it.

Don't get The Schl... Oh I mean The Rock wrong, he has done the odd bad film early on in his career for a bit of cash... Doom anyone? But hey it's got better.

Must be cause I've made myself so damn big... Hit the weights Biatch. That's right I finally have a body that matches the size of my schlong.

Anyway I am out of here.

Laters Bitches!!!

Wait! What happened with Kevin?

Who?

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