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Dr. Zero · (10-21-2013)

Dr. Zero raises a metal case in the air, studying it with his head tilted. His minions, and Nurse X are all silent in as they sit in the meeting room deep in Dr. Zero's lair. He places it, gently, onto the long table and looks to address the room. These aren't just any minions. These are the supervisors he selected. Numbers 1-10. Not that it really makes much difference.

"Number 3, you have done a splendid job collecting this. I must admit that I doubted you and, for that, I apologize ever so humbly," Dr. Zero stated as he took a seat at the head of the table. The minion grunted and nodded his head in acknowledgement and appreciation. "Nurse X, were you and those in your charge able to decipher my notes while I was away?"

"Mmm uhhh uggghhh," she said with a glint in her eyes.

"Splendid! And you brought the cocktail, as I requested?" Dr. Zero asked her.

Nurse X reaches into a bag next to her chair and presents a vial full of a bright blue liquid. She hands it to the doctor. "Huuunn hun ruh mmm."

"Thank you, Nurse X," he said just as Minion Number 8 could be heard snoring at the other end of the table. "Number 7, will you please take care of that nuisance? We've highly important business to conduct today and I shall not be embarrassed."

WIth that, Number 7 brandishes a syringe and injects it directly into 8's neck, who falls over. Upon striking the ground, Number 8 poofs into a cloud of vapor.

"Haha! Good show!" laughs Dr. Zero, as he presses a button on his watch. The door to the meeting room opens and in comes another minion. "Number 384, how would you like to become Number 8?"

He grunted.

"How sweet of you to say! It's an honor to promote you," Dr. Zero tells him. The minion takes a seat among the other identical minions.

Dr. Zero lifts the blue vial up for the whole room to see.

"I bring you all here today to show you all the fruits of your hard labor. You see, with this concoction and the samples in this case, I, the great and future ruler of, not only the XWF, but THE GALAXY...I will now be able to..."

BEEP BEEP!

A robotic voice coming from a small console in the center of his table interrupts him.

"Incoming call from Steve Sayors."

"BLAST! Patch him through RoboPhone." He lowers the vial

"Umm...Hello? Dr. Zero?" Sayors nervously asks over the line.

"Of course this is Dr. Zero! Are you not certain of the number for which you have dialed!?"

"I...I only dialed '9'," Sayors insisted.

"EXACTLY, FOOL! '9' home of 'Z'! DIAL NINE FOR ZERO!" Dr. Zero shouted and slammed his empty fist on the table.

"But, wouldn't it make since to dial '0' for Zero?" A reasonable question, it would seem.

"BAH! Preposterous! Dr. Zero's name is spelled with a 'Z', not a lowly '0' nor is he an operator!" Dr. Zero is nothing if not highly-logical.

Steve Sayors didn't mean to call Dr. Zero, but since he had him on the line, he decided to go ahead an ask a few questions anyway. He put his phone on speaker and began recording the audio. After a moment or two of more back-and-forth, Dr. Zero agreed to allow a brief interview.

"Dr. Zero, first I would like to congratulate you on your win in the first round of Lethal Lottery. Your team was up against some pretty stiff competition."

"Thank you, but your congratulations are not necessary. The game was rigged from the start, Mr. Sayors. Any team with Dr. Zero is guaranteed success."

"I see. Is that how you feel about your match for Round 2 of Lethal Lottery?" Sayors asked.

"What part of 'any team' did you not understand? If you are having difficulty hearing, I have perfected an aid that would repair your audible senses and make them better than they were before."

The minions all stared blankly at Dr. Zero for the entirety of this interview, by the way. If you haven't gathered yet, that's sort of what they do. Nurse X was picking at her nails and grunting quietly to herself.

"I'm sorry, Dr. Zero. What are your thoughts on your partner, Dr. Casey Jones?"

"Hmm...He is quite interesting, to say the least. I would not be terribly opposed to having him come and assist on a few experiments here in the lab, to be quite honest. Wouldn't you agree, Minions?" A few of them nod their heads.

"It is a horrible shame, however, that he keeps company with others who appear to abhor Reason and Logic."

"I assume you're speaking about Eli James IV and his Congregation?"

"Mmm, yes. Those would be the smelly, smelly people. I tell you, good sir, I spent the bulk of my life in a cage that humans REFUSED to clean, surrounded by other animals of my former ilk. There were feces everywhere combined with the scents of a thousand chemicals, and not once did I ever encounter anything as smelly as that man, Eli James IV. Absolutely putrid," Dr. Zero said, pinching his beak, as if to block the memory of the smell.

To be honest, the Minions don't smell great, themselves.

"So, you have little respect for Eli?"

"Eli is quite the competitor, isn't he? I respect him well enough. He is extremely manipulative of minds weaker than his own, which I can relate to. He is also very formidable physically, which is not usually what happens in a subject after generations of homozygosity."

"Hom...Homozy...?" Sayors barely says, confused.

"Inbreeding," Dr. Zero simplifies. Sayors actually chuckles.

"What are your thoughts on his partner for the night, Peter Gilmour?"

"He is obese," Dr. Zero proclaims, matter-of-factly.

"That doesn't concern you, being part chicken?"

"I do not plan on entering the ring wearing parmesan, so no. Peter Gilmour does not cause me the slightest bit of concern. Is that all of the mundane questions you have for me, plebian? There is important business I must conclude here, and I grow bored of this conversation."

"Well, I had a question tweeted from a fan...," Sayors informs Dr. Zero.

"Very well."

"Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Dr. Zero zaps the RoboPhone with a hidden laser, vaporizing it.

"AS I WAS SAYING..." Dr. Zero stands, shouting at the minions and Nurse X who snaps her head back toward her boss. He holds the blue vial high in the air. "This glorious concoction will grant me abilities that, before now, were only DREAMED of. Instead of explaining every detail, allow me to demonstrate."

Dr. Zero pours the vial directly into his beak, and wipes just a drop off of his chin. He then cracks the container. It hisses and clear smoke billows out. He reaches for a plastic baggie labeled "Sebastian Duke". He opens the bag carefully and removes a small piece of black cloth.

"THIS...Lady and Monstrosities, is a cloth collected after Round 1 of the Lethal Lottery tournament. On this cloth is a portion of Sebastian Duke's DNA. Inside this container, is the DNA of every other XWF superstar I have come in contact with...Duke, Tony Santos, Salman Van Dam, Cam Lang, Andrew Morrison, Theo Pryce, and, of course, Egyptian Snow Pharaoh. With the power of this elixir, all it now takes is for me to come in contact with the slightest bit of DNA from a person to do this..."

Dr. Zero begins to shake and suddenly transforms into Sebastian Duke.

"MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Zero-Duke maniacally laughs. "Number 2, rise!"

Minion Number 2 does not rise. He doesn't quite realize what's happened. Nurse X mumbles a command to him and he gets on his feet.

"Hmm...That needs to be fixed," Dr. Zero seems to note to himself, before delivering a vicious Soul Shot to the minion who instantly becomes a vapor.

"Nurse X, get Number 42 in here to replace Number 2." She shouts unintelligible commands into her wrist communicator, and in he comes.

"As I have demonstrated, with this new ability, not only can I morph and steal the appearance of anyone I have contacted physically...I also acquire their muscle memory! Their physical prowess, their moves, their techniques...IT'S ALL MINE! IT IS ALL MINE!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

As he cackles, Dr. Zero shifts back into his "normal" form. The others join in on the laughter, realizing that their boss is back in the room.

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