Tri Bute: Our Future Lord, Our Great Future King: A Biographical Future Comic
ISSUE #1 (Part 1)
Conception: Tra Pezoid

Tri Angle was a nice future man. He always helped old future ladies cross the future street and he did other nice things like that. He didn’t go to future parties that much, but as the dawn of the new future year grew closer and closer he realized the future times were catching up to him. He was running out of future time.

“Tra, I don’t know; I don’t really go to future parties that often.”

“Stop being a geemenoid. There is going to be future drugs there and plenty of future babes!”

“I do like future ladies and future drugs, bu-,”

“But nothing! You’ll go, just future do what I’m future doing and everything will come up tight, my future nigga.”

“Well, what are you future doing?”

“Allow me to explain. Ever since I was a little future kid, sometimes, I’d take a future nap and then I’d have future dreams about the future.”

“You future dreamed about the future?”

“Yea, future dawg. I would future dream about who I was and who I was going to be. There kept being future babies in my future dreams, it was weird, but I kind of like future dreaming about little future kids. I love little future kids platonically and all that.”

“What does that have to do with the future party?”

“I’m getting to that, chill my future nigga. You know how it’s the future year 9999, right now?”

“Yes, I’m aware of what future year it is.”

“That means next future year is 10000. All the future babies from my future dreams were born in that future year. I want to have at least one of my future babies be like the ones in my future dreams, so, at the future party, I’ll be looking for a future mate.”

“So, you’re going to try and find a future mother for your future children? You want me to do this too?”

“Don’t you want a new future year future baby too? We got to get a future girl future pregnant at this future party. Having a future kid born on the first future year of a new future millennium is so awesome. You never forget how old they are; you just have to think, like, “What future year is it?” then you future subtract 10000 and you get their future age.”

Angle quickly checked his future math.

“That’s true.”

“I’ve never lied to you, future breh.”

Tri Angle and Tra Pezoid looked deep into each other’s future eyes.

“I know, future man, we got a special future bond. We’re future Eskimo future brothers after all.”

“That’s a future bond that can’t be broken, future breh. Now, if you’re getting a future lady future pregnant, you’re going to need better future clothes than that.”

Tri Angle looked down. He didn’t really select the future clothes he was wearing with any kind of idea in future mind.

“Let’s go, future breh. We’re headed to the future clothes future store!”

“The one on 8th Future Street?”

“No, that’s just a future clothes store,” Tra Pezoid rolled his future eyes. He tended to get mad when future people didn’t know proper future terminology.

---

“Is this the good part of future town?”

“We got to get our swag on, future breh. This is where all the rich future people future shop.”

Tri Angle had always future shopped in the bad part of future town. The two future bros pushed through the future doors. A blast of cool future air hit Angle’s future face. It was so unfamiliar.

“Why has the future temperature changed? It was just hot, it’s future Summer after all.”

“That’s just the future air conditioning.”

Tri Angle took in it all in. He had never felt the sweet future feeling of future air conditioning. His future arms began to tingle as the future air future danced upon them.

“Come on, the future OBEY shirts are over here.”

Tri Angle followed Pezoid’s lead as they traversed further and further into the future boutique.

Who knew that after 25 future years of a future life a small change of future pace could change so much? The future air is cleaner here, somehow. The future sights and future sounds are those that I’ve never seen or heard.

Tri Angle watched his future feet as he walked, studying the pattern on the future floor.

“Why does the future color of the future floor keep alternating?”

“It’s just how they future painted it. Have you seen a future checkerboard? It’s kind of like that.”

“Should I be future walking diagonally? If I get to the end will someone future king me?”

“You really don’t get out much, future breh.”

Tri Angle made sure to only step on black spaces.

“Here we are!” shouted Tra Pezoid as he stopped and gestured at a future clothing rack.

Angle sifted through the future shirts, but his joyous future expression quickly transformed into a confused future grimace.

“I don’t get it. What am I OBEYing?”

“Don’t worry about it, future breh. It’s about getting future laid. If you want future bitches on your future dick, this is the future brand to buy.”

“Is it some sort of psychological choice about future philosophy? Am I agreeing to some sort of future contract?”

“You might be, but no one cares about that, future home-dawg.”

I didn’t think I’d be learning this much from my former future classmate, but I need all the future advice I can get. If I’m going to get some future pussy at this future party tonight, I’ll have to use every future trick my future nigga throws at me.

Tri Angle picked out a few future OBEY shirts that stuck out to him.

“Okay, now it’s time to get some future jeans.”

“I already have some future dress slacks, that’ll do fine right?”

“Future breh, listen, I’ve seen your future dress slacks. That’s not something you wear to a future party. You don’t want to smoke a future joint in that future crap.”

Tri Angle didn’t realize there were so many future rules.

“The future jeans are over here.”

Tri Angle turned his future head as the future lights seemed to darken throughout the future clothes future store, a pair of future jeans pulled itself out of a pile of future clothes and folded itself neatly at Tri Angle’s future feet.

“Deep within your future milt lies a future soul with unmatched future skill and future prowess. Look downward into the future caverns of your future mind. Learn your place, angular one. You are the future bearer of necessary future fruits. You are the carrier of the future antidote set to bring future peace to this future land,” hissed a spooky future voice.

“Hello?” called Tri Angle. He quickly looked around to see who had engaged him in future conversation, but only noticed the darkness that surrounded him and his future breh frozen mid-future-step. He stepped forward onto the future trousers.

KEEEYYYSSS

Tri Angle looked at the source of the future sound and quickly moved his future foot.

“You don’t scoff the bringer of your future destiny. You shall treat your new future master with future dignity and future respect. Lift me future mortal, use your future hands to indulge in my eloquent future stitching.”

Tri Angle reached down for the future pants and held them up. The future pant-legs unfolded and stood erect as if an invisible future man were wearing them. The future zipper lowered itself and the future crotch region began to flap like a future mouth.

“I can feel the strength of your future bones. You must drink your future milk. Cherish your future cows, angular one, for they help you in future ways no one truly understands. Your future heart pumps powerfully with purpose. I can see this Anngal. I can see all. You have it in you. You have want I want. Purchase me, wear me, wash me, and I will give you whatever your future heart desires.”

The future lights flickered back and Tra Pezoid finished his future step.

“This future store is awesome. I didn’t know future pants could talk.”

“Every future article of future clothing has something to say, future breh. If you are one with the future man-made you meet many new future souls within their works,” said Pezoid as he put his future hand on Angle's future shoulder.

“These future pants told me my future milt has a powerful future soul within it. The future stiching is amazing as well. My future hat is off to the future manufacturer.”

“It’s a future sign, future breh, you have to find your future mate to bring that future soul out and into the future world, I know it.”

Tri Angle and Tra Pezoid gathered the future items they wanted to purchase and headed to the future cash register to ring them up.

“The future milt’s future seed will form the future soul that will force my future will. J.I.Z.Z. will triumph and finally be secreted into Futrue Earth, our great future planet. My future call will be heard by every future man and future women. The angular one will see to it. Ultimate control will be mine.”

"Pink is my signature color!" - Elle Woods