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Shove It: Vive La Revolution 9/22/13 Part 2
Author Message
AlexandraCallaway Offline
Demon or Angel? You decide!



XWF FanBase:
Mixed reactions

(cheered heavily at home; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)


#1
09-22-2013, 04:55 PM

[Image: 130915_030912_19808937.png]
The moonlight trickles over the scenes of a glorious French skyline. The owls hooting. The wolves howling. The maniacal laughter of a serial rapist in the bushes molesting decrepit women for a sick easy pleasures. Just the typical, run of the mill, average things you might expect to hear on a peaceful evening here in France. Did you know that the country that calls Paris home is known for its lavishing evenings filled with expensive wine and overzealous amounts of culture. The exquisite and high class sounding language is a landmark quality that the French turn their nose up to the rest of the world. A country known to think it's one of the greatest things in the world, but when it comes down to business in BATTLE and WAR, the conclusion of it's true complexity is revealed.

The French are a bunch of pussies.

That's why SATAN! TV has interrupted this episode of Shove-It Saturday Night and has decided to.....


INSERT: ----------> Unknown Soldier

...smack dab into the middle of this equation....

Around the corner the ravenous blood sick creature shows himself, as he walks past the moonlight and casts a shadow over the French skyline that closely resembles Dracula with the drooling fangs and slender frame. His small body moves vivaciously house by house. Which our dastardly villain believes to be very secretive. Unfortunately for him, he only believes this because he's taken more drugs than a suicide night by Heath Ledger, Kurt Cobain, and Chris Farley COMBINED!

Unknown Soldier: "CAPTAIN! Captain where are you!"

Still stumbling and slurring his words terribly, he manages to pull himself through a door and stumble inside a room. This was no ordinary room. Awkwardly enough it happened to be a room filled with wine bottles, expensive cheese, and daintily dressed folks enjoying the others company. Well, that is until the entire ambiance of the room comes to a screeching halt as the grotesque slime follows his body after he lifts himself off the floor after his fall when he arrived. This slime is months of build up from sweat, hair oil, and mucus running off his body from lack of bathing.

Unknown Soldier: "CAPTAIN! Captain where are you!"

Shock and amazement is the only look on the faces of the crowd as their expensive French wine tasting ceremony was abruptly interrupted. An elderly woman faints that was standing next to the commotion. Normally, we would assume Soldier would promptly molest this helpless victim with three holes prime for insertion, but instead he is beyond wasted and distracted by this thick red substance that everyone seems to be sipping on...

Could it be??

Soldier walks up to the first booth which is being operated by some sort of wine salesman...

Wine Connoisseur: "This is a 1978 Pinot Noir with a delicate..."

Before the man can complete his sentence, Soldier has already consumed the wine, swished it around in his mouth, and promptly spit it directly all over the face of the salesman.

Unknown Soldier: "Moving on..."

At the next booth his arrival is greeted with much less enthusiasm by the salesman who had just seen his reaction to his counterpart moments ago.

Wine Connoisseur #2: "Here we have a lovely 1995 Zinfandel blended with..."

He too is met quickly with a dark flowing face full of staining red wine on his white tuxedo.

Unknown Soldier: "Taste like chicken!"

The third salesman on Soldier's path of his drunken stumbling stupor had seen enough. He wasn't going to let this maniac make a mockery of him. He reached for a butcher knife that was being used to slice pieces of cake on a table behind him. His initial reaction was swift. Maybe a little too swift and without concern as the sharp blade cut through his index finger on his opposite hand. This finger just so happened to sneak it's way into the wine glass that was conveniently located directly in front of Unknown Soldier as he made his way to the table. Soldier lifts the glass to his lips while the salesman dropped to the ground screaming. His eyes light up like the stars on a cloudless night as he guzzles down the entire contents of the glass. Cracking the bone in half before swallowing the rest whole. He then proceeds to eat the glass as well as to make sure none of it went to waste. This naturally causes the rest of his mouth to bleed and exfoliate blood from the inside of his cheeks.

Unknown Soldier: "You should always swallow during a blood tasting."

At this point our sadistic friend is alone as the crowd must have had enough of his insanity. Soldier nods and proceeds to stumble out of the room screaming.

Unknown Soldier: "CAPTAIN! Captain where are you!"

Back at ring side the cage begins being lowered during the last video clip that played. It seemed that Unknown Soldier had returned home to the company that feared him. What did the strange man have in store for the company? Only time would tell. The competitors entered the cage and made their way into the center. The electricity on the cage zaps to life and the men in the ring look around.

Zak and Rocky look at each other and then Greggo looks at Jason. Seeing the three men he licks his lips and starts to rub his crotch. Zak and Rocky go to work on Jason beating the man down. Zak and Rocky lift Jason up and run towards the edge of the cage and chunk him into the cage. His body begins to sizzle against the metal and he is eliminated. Before the medic's can pull him out of the ring, Greggo walks over and whips his dick out, rubbing it all over Jason's face, and Jason is convulsing in pain, electricity ripping through his body. He then proceeds to roll him over and rub his cock on the mans ass.

Zak and Rocky commence to fighting, before Zak throws Rocky against the ropes, and Rocky bounces off and hits Zak. The two tumble around the ring while Greggo kicks Jason Smith out of the ring and sends him flying into the stands where the fans proceed to beat him due to his inability to actually compete. The fans go wild on him, and then medics try to help him. Greggo turns back to the action in the ring and watches the other to men, his hard on thickening with each moment.

Zak gets the upper hand and hits a beautiful DDT on Rocky, and the he falls to the mat. Zak goes for the pin but Rock kicks out after a the count of two. Zak gets to his feet and lays into Rocky with a fury of punches. Zak and the Rock continue to trade blows until both are back on their feet. Suddenly Greggo gets between them and grabs both of their cocks. The two men bounce around, trying to get out of his grip when he throws them into one corner, one on top of the other.

Zak breaks out of the corner and takes Rocky out with the Poveglia Death. Zak covers for the pin.

1....


2....


3....

The last time Greggo slams his hand down Zak stands up and walks over to the cage wall, sticking his hands on it. It sizzles, but doesn't really effect him. Greggo walks over and holds Zak's arm up.

Winner:
Zak Misery



You ain't woman enough to take my man plays out over the P.A system and the crowd roars as Dwayne "The Schlong" Johnson walks out from the back and down to the ring.

He poses for the crowd showing off his assets before grabbing a microphone and holding it to his mouth.

The Rock Says: FINALLY, THE SCHLONG, HAS, CUM.. All over the Chateau Bonaguil.

The crowd roar as The Schlong continues on.

The Rock Says: Now we have a treat in store for you tonight. That's right tonight we have special dance off. A dance of between The Schlong's good friends, The Triple X Listers and some mystery opponents.

The crowd woop with excitement.

The Rock Says: First though we can't have a dance off without some judges. So without further a due let me introduce to you first, the king of camp, The one and only Louie Spence.



It's raining men rings out over the speakers and a quick blast of pink fireworks shoot into the air at the top of the ramp as world renowned dancer Louis Spence minces his way down to the ring waving at the crowd as he does.

He climbs in to the ring and heads directly for Dwayne. They both hug and Louie pinches The Rocks bum who retaliates with a cheeky smile before continuing on with the introductions.

The Rock Says: Our next judge once got to hang out with Pamela Anderson on a boat, no it's not Tommy Lee, but we better not Hassel him cause it is The Hoff and he doesn’t hold back when he is judging. Let’s see him at his brutal best.



Come jump in my car plays out over the speakers and David Hasselhoff walks out into the stage. He waves at the crowd a bit before throwing a half eaten hamburger on the ground and continuing to join Dwayne and Louis in the ring.

The Rock Says: Wow that's our line up of judges almost complete so finally let me introduce you too your final judge, the man who once stole the hearts of the world, the man who made being an entertainer electrifying and the man who once did a line of coke off of Mr X.W.F's schlong, that's right kids its me. Dwayne "The Schlong" Johnson.

The crowd roar with approval as do The Hoff and Louis Spence.

The Rock Says: No it's time to introduce our competitors.



Andrew WK – Party Hard blasts out threw the speakers and they are here.

THE TRIPLE X LISTERS!!!

The dance out onto the stage as the vendors appear between the fans and start throw cans of beer out to hyperactive crowd as always.

The Listers dance down to the ring and slide in.

They shake hands with the judges who exit the ring to take there positions in the strangely vagina shaped judges chairs and wait for the show to begin.

The Listers stand in a row in the ring and look up in the air waiting for the music.



Suddenly Playing with the boys BY Kenny Loggins from the film Top Gun begins to play out over the speakers and The Listers first begin to dance a little before Jim Parson dives out of the ring and reaches under pulling out a bag with some goodies.

He slides back into the ring and holds the bag out.

NPH pulls out three pairs of aviator sunglasses that they each wear and Travolta pulls out a volley ball.

The Rock Says: What the fuck?

They begin to remove there tops showing of there not quite like Tom Cruise in Top Gun bodies and start to play volley bam just like that very questionable scene.

The crowd seem to begin to boo and The Rock can sense their annoyance. They were here to see dancing after all not three dweebs playing volley ball... Without a net!

The Rock Says: Ok, cut the music. Thank you very much you weirdo’s. Now it is time for your mystery opponents.

The lights dim as a fog rises up from the ground. Michael Jacksons Thriller begins to play out of the speaker system as everyone waits in anticipation.



The Triple X Listers are clapping and dancing in excitement for the opponents dance.

“Do the Listers even care if they win?”

“There just here for the party.”

Finally too shadowy figures appear at the top of the ramp slowly moving out of the smoke just like zombies.

“Here they are.”

The Triple X Listers high-five each other before turning to face...

Gilmour’s Mothers Head Ion and a reanimated Cyren break full on into the Thriller Dance!

It really is Gilmour’s mothers head on Swift Ions body and Cyren... Back... Again... With his head... That head has been chopped off twice but now it's attached again, partially hanging off his head.

The Listers are singing, Dwayne “The Schlong” is singing, the guest judges Louie Spence and David Hasselhoff are singing along to every word. The crowd have gone nuts.

Gilmour’s mothers head Ion and the new Cyren continued to do the Thriller dance all the way down to the ring before sliding in and continuing.

The crowd love it, the judges love it and the Listers love it.

Every god damn minute of it.

Eventually though all good things must come to the end and on this occasion that was the final few seconds of Thriller.

Gilmour’s mothers head Ion and Cyren stand in the ring facing the Listers. The judges are deciding on who should be the victor.

Dwayne, The Hoff and Louie Spence enter the ring to announce the winner.

The Rock stands between the two teams and holds the mic up to his mouth.

The Rock Says: The winner of the XWF 2013 dance off by unanimous decision is......

THE TRIPLE X LISTERS!

The crowd eerily in a chorus of boos as Cyren loses is head (not literally, not again any way) He picks up the Listers volleyball and burst it between his hands. The Listers are angry and take the fight to Cyren and Gilmour’s mothers Head Ion.

They are wrestling around on the ground as The Rock, The Hoff and Louis look on. Eventually The Rock steps in to break it up. He pulls them all apart tossing the Listers out of the ring, followed by Gilmour’s mothers head Ion.

He then turns directly into a stiff right hand to the face by Cyren. The Rock falls back to the ground and looks up just in time to see The Hoff and Louie Spence nail Cyren with two punches that were more synchronised than any of the dancing we had seen tonight.

The Rock Says:Oh my god.

Oh my god the blow from The Hoff and Louie’s punches has (literally) taken Cyren's head clean off his shoulders... Again!!

The Rock Says:Really!!!

Some members of the audience just can't get used to Cyren losing his head like this and throw up into the beers that The Listers had organised for them earlier.

The Rock gets to his feet as Jump in my car begins to play over the speakers and he, Louie and The Hoff begin to dance together in the center of the ring.




Jessie Diaz And Ann Thraxx are lead into a the deep dark confines of a dungeon. The walls are lined with multiple gruesome and barbaric weapons ....some of which appear to have been previously used and caked with blood and gore. Both women size each other up as they circle the room...their eyes trained on one another as the bell rings and this battle begins.

Thraxx wastes no time in ripping a spiked mace off the wall and charges at Diaz as she screams out in fury! But Diaz manages to dive outta the way and collides with the floor of the dungeon. Before Diaz has a moment to do anything Thraxx is charging again...waving the spiked mace in the air like she's gone berserk! Thraxx swings the mace and Diaz rolls outta the way just before it strikes her!

Oh shit!

That was a close one!

Diaz scoots backwards as Thraxx rushes towards her. Ann swings the mace again in a wide broad stroke and Jessie rolls outta the way again. But Thraxx is quicker to thrash the mace out in an almost instantaneous back stroke. This time the mace connects with Jessie's shoulder and Jessie lets out a scream in agony! The mace slammed hard into her shoulder and the spikes digging into her flesh!

Thraxx tosses her head back and cackles with glee as she rips the mace out of Jessie's shoulder. Blood stains Jessie's shirt and drips down onto the cement dungeon floor. Jessie's face contorted with pain as she reaches up and touches the wound and blood literally just pours out onto her hand. Staring at the blood that now coats her palm...Jessie rises to her feet. Jessie's face shifting from a look of anguish and pain...to a look of rage as Ann thrusts the spiked mace again. This time Jessie catches the spiked mace in her hand! The spikes jamming into her palm as blood runs down her hand....carrying past her wrist and pooling in the fold of her arm.

Jessie's fingers tighten around the mace and she actually yanks the mace towards her...pulling Ann Thraxx right up to her face before headbutting her.

Once!

Twice!

Three fucking times!

Oh shit Jessie headbutted Ann Thraxx three times!

Ann stumbles back appearing to be in a state of complete delirium as Jessie pulls the spiked mace outta her hand. The mace pops out with a sick wet crunch as even more blood drains from Jessie's hand. Ripping a piece off the bottom of her shirt Jessie ties it around her hand before turning her eyes to Ann Thraxx who has stumbled into a wall full of spears. The spears rattle and crash all around Ann as she brings a hand to her head. Ann shakes her head back and forth like she's trying to get her bearings back when Diaz smashes the spiked mace into Ann's back!

Ann screams and Jessie rips the mace downward....shredding Ann's back with the mace before she yanks it back out. Diaz then plants the mace into Ann's already bloody and ripped up back a second time! Ann shrieks in agony and grabs a spear. Ann shoves the spear at Jessie and it stabs right into Jessie's already wounded shoulder. Jessie yells out and grabs the spear as Thraxx pulls the mace out of her own back and tosses it on the floor before actually charging at Diaz catching her with a Superkick and a Russian Legsweep!

Jessie drops! Ann screeches and goes for a Leg Drop. But Jessie avoids it as she grabs a hold of the spear and tears it out of her own shoulder before stabbing it into Ann's right calf. Ann bellowed out as Jessie climbs to her feet and immediately hits Ann with both of her knees planted right into Ann's stomach. Ann lurches upward as all the wind is knocked outta her and Jessie pulls her up by the hair executing a Dragon Screw! Jessie follows this up with a Standing Senton and a Knee Drop to Ann's face!

Ann's down and motionless but Jessie isn't done. Jessie mounts Ann and grabs her by both sides of her head. Jessie begins to bash Ann's head into the dungeon floor over and over again as she screams out in fury! Ann's eyes roll up into the back of her head as Jessie continues to bang Ann's head into the cold concrete floor! Ann's body limp...and her eyes barely open as blood seeps out of her head. Jessie finally rising to her feet before spitting on the motionless form of Ann Thraxx. The ref begins to make the count.

1

2

3

4

Nothing yet.

5

6

Still no movement from Ann as Jessie sways back and forth looking groggy from her own loss of blood.

7

8

Jessie slumps against the wall and Ann still remains out cold and possibly dead. It's hard to tell.

9

10!

Jessie's eyes slowly drift closed but immediately shoot open as she feels the ref raise her hand in victory!

Winner:
Jessie Diaz!


Paramedics rush to Ann's aid and begin to load her onto a stretcher as it appears Ann is breathing but in pretty bad shape. Her body limp and motionless as she's soon carted off by paramedics.

---
Unknown Soldier Seg Credit to: Satan
Electrified Cage Match Credit to: Your lovely GM Me!
XXXListers Segment Credit to: Rocky
Diaz Match Credit to: Griffin Fucking MacAlister


1x UFO E1999 Champion
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