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**"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane** · **09-11-2013, 12:16 PM**

Admin note: I will be posting rayne's roleplays for him as he does not have posting access currently. Everything below is his work, as is. I have not read it yet or made any edits.

[ooc note-- long before raYne's pic base was myself, or I had even contemplated it being jeff hardy... it was david bowie. specifically, his character 'jareth' from jim henson's 'labyrinth'. when i first began questioning my true self, around the age of 13... jareth was one of my very first male crushes. so, when i developed the character of rayne, he was the only person that came to mind when i thought of who could capture the character's essence. he was elegant... seductive... charming. when alexandra posted her roleplay entitled 'within you'... the idea began to form. seeing as i'm facing her in my first match, it only seemed appropriate that this be my first "real" roleplay here. read... and enjoy. thank you.]

He lay alone... resting upon his bed. Staring up at the ceiling, thoughts racing through his head... memories. Recent memories...

http://xwf99.com/showthread.php?tid=6229 --

raYne Said:raYne reaches the end of the sidewalk, and looks across the street-- he finds a woman, struggling to get a hefty load of groceries into her car. She is a bit of a plain jane... but she seems kind, sweet, and gentle-hearted. In her late 20's, and with a bit of a nerdy appearance... $hane smiles to himself. He begins to walk in her direction, speaking while he makes his way.

"By the way, NAZI? You're neglecting one VERY important fact-- I'm not a guy who "acts like a woman". I am both femme... and masculine. As you can plainly see... my gender changes just as quickly as my mood does-- like the wind. Yes, prior to this promo, I've shown mostly my feminine side. But that, dear Naz'... is only one side of the coin. And that's where your narrow-vision is focused on. Do you know I've had VERY few sexual encounters with men? My longest running relationship was with a gal by the name of Alexis... I had a crush on her since I was in high school. Then... she betrayed me... but that story will come with time. For now, know this-- my sexuality is far less two-sided than my gender. I focus primarily on gals, because they're the ones that interest me. Guys... they're mere objects to me. A gal can be less than stellar looking, but if she has a wonderful personality and is capable of providing an intelligent conversation? I'm hers for the taking. As for men? Either they're so adorable I want to jump their bones immediately... or they're just not my cup of tea. When it comes to men... I need something to look at. For that's all they are to me. Someone to use for one night only... and then discard. Cut and dry, simple as that."

$hane reaches the woman, and smiles at her... nodding toward the bags of groceries. The gal gives a warm smile, and the two begin to pack the bags into the back of the car. After a few moments of working together, the two have completed the task, and the gal asks $hane if there's anything she could do for him in return. "Well," responds $hane, "I'm free tomorrow-- Friday night. I'd love to have someone to have dinner with. I've been awfully lonely lately... I could use a friend." The woman nods her head, the smile beaming brightly, as she speaks, "Not a problem. I'm new in town...", $hane quickly cuts in by stating, "As am I." The woman's smile becomes even more radiant. "... maybe we could discover this place together, then?" $hane shakes his head, a grin spread across his face. "Was thinking the exact same thing." The gal writes down her name, and tells $hane to look for her on Skype... they could continue the conversation as soon as they both arrived home. $hane takes the slip of paper, and tells the lady, "I'd like nothing more. Thank you, darlin'." The woman blushes, but only a bit... before waving, and taking to her vehicle. As she drives off toward home, $hane looks off in her direction... then at the camera. "Naz'... seriously. You know NOTHING about me.

"But you will."

He thought of all the feelings that swelled within him that day. Hope... love... romance... happiness. He had imagined all of these things they would do together. Spending time together, listening to music, seeing films and concerts... she was a gamer. He just knew they would play together, he felt it in his heart... he had finally found 'the one'. The one person that truly understood him, and that he had an honest to goodness connection with. Someone who would accept him for him, and love him for each and every last bit of him. He had felt it deep within his bones...

"... Alex.", raYne uttered, without looking in the camera's direction. His gaze cast solidly upon the shadows on the ceiling... speaking aloud, yet... within... feeling oh so alone. "Alex... do you know how it feels to be alone? No... I don't mean alone in the sense that you have nobody to talk to... but I mean truly alone. You know. When you're surrounded by people, you have every chance in the world to meet new people, you LIVE with people...

"... and yet? Still alone. Why? Because of who you are. All our lives we're told to love ourselves, and to accept ourselves for who we are... to "just be you". But the Truth is? When you're different... TRULY unique... all of those lovely phrases are cast aside. When you're different... Nobody understands you. Nobody accepts you. Nobody wants you. They're there... yet they're not. You speak to them-- yet you feel like you're speaking to a brick wall. Or you feel their eyes, glaring at you, glaring THROUGH you. You want them to like you. To care about you, to LOVE you. And, sometimes? They do.

"But you don't Believe it.

"And why is that, you may ask? The answer is simple.

"Why should you Believe it? Time after time... the same re-occuring pattern. And it never fails. So when that one person out of many comes along that truly loves you... it is hard to accept. Because you are so used to rejection... It is hard to trust people...

"... after everything I've been through. Yes. I know. You think you know me oh so well, EVERYONE does... but you don't. I can try and try to explain till I'm blue in the face, but when I first stepped into that lockeroom? When I first arrived on the scene... I knew. I just knew. I can try to escape it, I can try to keep peace within my heart and allow their looks and laughs and ridicule... and try my DAMNDEST to allow it to roll off my back. Pay no heed. Believe in me, regardless of what they may say. I can try.", raYne pauses for a moment. Then, he shifts himself upon his bed, so he now sits upon its edge. He wears a long, glowing, elegant, golden night gown. Feathers dangling from the cuffs and down the front... His hair, slicked back into a pony tail, dyed bright red in color. His face, adorned with make-up, eye shadow, crimson lipstick, and glitter... and around his throat is a necklace. Carrying a sparkling, jewel-encrusted dragon pendant. "... I can try. And I have. Time, and again. But always-- ALWAYS... I return to the same position I left in the first place. I run and I run... but I realize. I'm running on a track. And there is no destination."

$hane begins to look down at the floor... he begins to think to himself, once again... back to that day. Friday...

~ ~ ~

~ 9.6.13 ~

They spoke on Skype for what seemed like the entire day... they had fallen in love with one another. He loved her giggle... her eyes, her hair, her smile. He loved the way she seemed so shy, but when she opened up? He could literally listen to her for hours. Just listen. And not be bored once. He took in everything she said... and she did likewise. She told him to meet her at an Italian resteraunt she'd discovered on her grocery trip. Somewhere, NE was new to the both of them, but they vowed to take in every last sight and sound-- together.

He arrived at 5:30pm. But... the clothes he wore on this occasion were unlike those he had worn when they first met. Nor were they anything like the ones he wore while they spoke via webcam. He wanted to see... to just make sure, though he was almost certain in his heart... but he just wanted to know for sure. To find out for himself, that she truly would accept him... no matter what.

His legs were slipped into a pair of tight leather pants. He wore a pair of jet black, leather boots, spikes along the sides. With spiked heels. His hands were fit into a pair of long, black satin gloves... his eyelids? Bedazzled in shimmering glitter. His lips, glowing radiantly from a coat of sharp red lipstick. His hair flowed down his shoulders like a waterfall, in dazzling hues of red, green, blue and violet. And his shirt-- black, with one word written across the front in rhinestones ; "BELiEVE". Walking to the resteraunt, he felt giddy... proud... and excited. Because he felt, within his heart of hearts, that this gal... she would understand. She wouldn't care. If the entire resteraunt full of patrons stared at him, he just KNEW she would tell each and every one of them off. She was his knight in shining armor.

He stepped through the door... and just as he had imagined, all eyes turned to him. With looks of disgust, hatred, and shock. He expected this.

What he didn't expect? Was her reaction.

"No... Shane? That can't be you... PLEASE don't tell me that's you. This must be some kind of mistake..." The girl, named Crystal, let out her verbal dismay. She couldn't believer her eyes. And she didn't want to. The grungey, rough-and-tumble looking punker she had met just the other day... this couldn't be him... could it? ... But it was. Just as he had told Nazi, his gender was fluid. One moment, he felt masculine. The next... he felt sparkling. Shimmering. Like a diamond. And just as he had felt from Nazi... he felt that feeling from her... that hate. Just as he did from everyone else in the bulding. She shook her head. This wasn't the Shane she had agreed to go on a date with. For all intents and purposes... she was dating a drag queen. And she couldn't commit to this. She couldn't accept this. So she left.

And he stood there... as Crystal brushed past him, and departed through the doorway... never for him to see again. He stood there... as every last person in the eatery glared at him with disbelief. He felt ashamed. He felt horrified. All of the joy that coursed through his veins had suddenly run cold. He began to tremble. He felt tears welling up, but he couldn't allow them to flow... he couldn't allow them to see that. He had already embarrased himself enough... he rushed out the door. He hoped that MAYBE he could catch her... but she was gone. He fell to his knees, barely having the strength to remain at this position without crumpling to the cement sidewalk.

He began to weep. Holding his face in his palms, he knew he was there. Again. In that same cycle he'd been trapped within for years. Years which seemed like eons. And which seemed like they would last into eternity.

~ ~ ~

...

"Alex...
You don't know.
You don't know a THING about me.

"None of you do.

"But soon... sooner than you can imagine.

"You will.

"Be prepared.
And Believe."

$hane, still sitting upon the edge of the bed... he begins to remove the pendant from around his throat.

And he places it upon his nightstand... right next to a picture of what appers to be a professional wrestler...

... wearing a mask. And holding a World Title. A World Title with the letters 'XAW' carved across the front.

The picture is signed... and it reads --

'Dear Reeve--

I know we've had our ups and downs, holmes... but for whatever it's worth?
You've got potential, mi amigo. Mucho potential.

Kill that attitude, essa? And you will fly. You will SOAR.
Just as I, the Deite's Dragon.

Keep Believing, mein. And never, ever give up.

~ "The Deite's Dragon", Javex Valerius
'I am...'

"Don't be afraid to be weak.
Don't be too proud to be strong.
Just look into your heart my friend,
That will be the return to yourself.
The return to innocence...
If you want? Then start to laugh.
If you must? Then start to cry.
Be yourself-- don't hide.
Just Believe in destiny.
Don't care what people say...
Just follow your own way.
Don't give up and lose the chance...
To return to innocence."
~ ENiGMA

"This is not the beginning of the end.
This is but the end of the beginning."

~ to be continued ~

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode rayne's RP#1: As The World Falls Down
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