The black Chevy Tahoe pulls up outside of a big box store. Asmodeus steps out gingerly, favoring his right ankle that he injured while punting an alarm clock. Linn Kwann parks the truck and meets Asmodeus inside the store. She helps him onto one of the power chairs and sets her dog in the basket attached to the front.

A: "How does this thing work?"

Without waiting for a response he starts pushing buttons and turning handles causing the chair to lurch forward into a collection of shopping carts. Then backwards nearly running over an 8 year old boy.

An old lady quickly shows him how to work it. He turns the handle and without stopping runs directly into the glass windows scaring the hell out of the small dog in the basket.

A: "Buckle up little dog. It might be a wild ride!"
LK: "Asmo! Why'd you do that?"
A: "Linn, it is not my fault the door did not open!"
LK: "Because that's not a door! It's a window!"
A: "Ohhhh. I guess that makes sense!"

They finally enter the store. The small dog shakes terribly in fear as they lurch forward a few feet at a time.
_________________________________________________________________


Inside the store, Linn pulls out her phone and texts Sebastian Duke.

"WTF!"
"?"
"Ur dad!"
"What about him?"
"Why does he not mesh well with technology?"
"LOL I dunno."
"I got him on a power chair and he ran in 2 a row of carts, nearly ran over a little kid, then drove the thing straight in 2 the window!"
"LMAO"
"He's scaring Buddy!"
"Wait... Why is he in a power chair anyway? Why isn't he walking?"
"Ohhhhhhhh he hurt his ankle."
"How?"
"Long story, but he punted an alarm clock."
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"
_________________________________________________________________


It seems as though, now, Asmodeus is finally getting a handle on this power chair thing. No longer lurching. The dog begins to calm down as he settles himself, laying down inside the basket. Asmodeus, without Linn by his side, turns down the dog food aisle. As he turns though, the power chair catches on the corner of the endcap on the front of the aisle. It effectively rips down the end cap and causes the products on it to fall to the floor completely burying an old lady.

Oblivious that it even happened, he continues down the aisle and stops at the dog treats. The aroma of the aisle and all of its different products causes the dog to perk up. Asmodeus reaches for a package of dog treats but can;t quite make it. Using his cane, he flips the package off of its hook and catches it one-handed. He rips open the package and dumps it's contents into his jacket pocket, then tosses the package on the floor.

A: "I believe Buddy would like a treat. No?"

The dogs ears perk up and he wags his tail. He stands up inside the basket with his front paws on the back side of the basket facing Asmodeus. Asmo gives the dog a treat. Then another. And another. Another. Another....

A: "Do they not feed you enough puppy?"

They continue on down the aisle.
_________________________________________________________________


About thirty minutes later Linn Kwann sees Asmodeus in the automotive section. She calls out his name and he stops the power chair allowing her to catch up.

A: "This place is huge! How did you find me?"
LK: "I just followed your path of distruction."
A: "I am unsure what you mean."
LK: "You know they had to rush an old lady to the hospital!?"
A: "Ohh? How unfortunate!"

Suddenly, in the basket, the small dog begins dry heaving.

A: "OH MY GOD! HE'S POSESSED!"
LK: "Buddy! Whats the matter!?"

The dog throws up. Again and again.

LK: "Asmo, did you feed him something?"
A: "Just some treats we found."
LK: "How many did you give him?"
A: "All of them. He was hungry. You really should feed him more often!"
LK: "ASMO! YOU MADE HIM SICK!"
A: "I did no such thing!"
LK: "He's a dog! He'll just keep eating if you keep feeding him!"
A: "Not very bright then, is he?"
LK: "YOU can't even work a toaster!"
A: "Allegedly."

Linn Kwann takes the dog from the basket consoling him. Asmodeus and Linn both take off in different directions. She takes out her phone and again, starts texting Sebastian.
_________________________________________________________________


"What the hell is wrong with that man?"
"Asmodeus?"
"YES!"
"Beats me."
"He's left a trail of destruction with that power chair!"
"Haha"
"It's not funny!"
"k"
"He knocked over an endcap and some old lady had 2 b taken 2 the hospital!"
"How unfortunate."
":-| Thats what he said!"
"Oh."
"He also fed Buddy an entire bag of treats!"
"Oh no."
"So, I catch up with him and the dog starts heaving. He's like OMG he's posessed!"
"HAHAHAHHAAHAHHA LMFAO"
":-| This is NOT funny."
"It kinda is. Can u take pictures of his destruction?"
":-|"
"I take that as a no."
":-|"
"It's a no."
":-|"
_________________________________________________________________


Asmodeus, now alone without the dog, finds himself in the 'interiors' section of the store. He sees something interesting on a high shelf of the endcap. He reaches but realises its much to high. Using his cane, he stands on the power chair deck trying to reach the item. He's going to have to stretch and lean. He lays down the cane and places one hand on the handle to brace himself. He reaches.....

.......Reaching.......


.......Reaching.......


And his hand slips on the handle causing the power chair to lurch forward. Asmodeus crashes his body into the endcap as the power chair takes off without him knocking down a stack out display sending all of the items scattering across the floor.

Linn Kwann rounds the corner just in time to see the disaster. She hurries over to Asmodeus and begins to help him up. He brushes himself off just as security shows up along with the store manager.

SM: "I'm sorry but you people will have to leave my store."
LK: "Oh my God! I'm SO sorry about this!"
SM: "This man has completely destroyed my store! We had to take a poor old lady to the hospital! There's dog vomit in automotive!"
LK: "Again, mister! I am SO deeply sorry about all of this!"
SM: "Please leave peacefully!"
LK: "We will. We will."
SM: "Ohh. And I insist that you never return to Target."

Asmodeus, Linn Kwann and Buddy are all escorted out, slowly, by security. As they stand on the sidewalk, Linn takes off to get the truck leaving Asmodeus to stand and wait.

Moments later he sees the black Tahoe coming towards him. A teenage boy runs in front of Linn causing her to slam the brakes. The kid barely notices as he runs towards Asmo and the Target entrance. Closer.... Closer....


.......30 feet away.......


.......15 feet away.......


........5 feet away........

Asmodeus non-chalantly kicks out his cane tripping the teenage kid. The kid falls forward knocking over a middle aged man. The kid and the man start arguing. Linn pulls up and Asmo climbs into the Tahoe. He notices Linn has both hands in the air as if she was saying 'wtf' without actually saying it. Asmo slams the door shut and they drive away.

LK: "What the hell!?"
A: "What?"
LK: "Why'd you trip that boy?"
A: "For fun."
LK: "Did you cause all that hell on purpose?"

He buckles his seatbelt, smiles at Linn Kwann and turns to smile out the window as she continues to drive. Linn now firmly believes he did everything on purpose. Probably rightfully so.

Minutes later they pull into a parking lot of a day spa. Linn helps Asmodeus out of the truck as they slowly make their way into the building. Asmo sits on a chair in the waiting area as Linn signs them in. She returns and takes a seat next to Asmodeus.

A: "What is this place. Where are we?"
LK: "It's a day spa."
A: "What the hell is a day spa?"
LK: "They do massages, thinks like that. Figured we could use a little pampering."
A: "Hmmmmm."
LK: "Don't get any bright ideas."

Asmodeus sits quietly. Smiling like a child on Christmas Day. She pulls out her cell phone again, texting Sebastian.

"How do u take him anywhere?"
"He never goes anywhere. Except XWF events."
"We just got hell banned."
"Hell banned?"
"Yeah. We're never allowed in Target again. Ever."
"Who the hell goes 2 Target!?"
"Shut up! I like Target! I'm pretty sure he caused all that destruction on purpose."
"What makes u say that?"
"He knocked down a stackout before we got booted."
"LMAO"
"OMG Sebastian! It's not funny! It's embarassing!"
"IDC its still funny!"
"Oh and when I went 2 get the truck I left him on the sidewalk. Some teenage kid ran out in front of me and THEN as he was running by Asmo..... He tripped him with his cane!"
"LMMFAO!!!! Thats my dad!!!"
"Un-freakin-believable!"
"Oh relax."
"So I asked him if he did it all on purpose. He just smiled and never answered me."
":-)"
"Smartass. Anyway, the jokes on him."
"What do u mean?"
"We're waiting in a day spa."
"Oh my. What are u gonna have done 2 him?"
":-)"
"Dammit!"
":-)"
":-|"
_________________________________________________________________


Asmodeus and Linn both get called back at the same time. They go to the same room but are seperated by a curtain. Linn prepares for her massage and Asmo prepares for what he thought was his. She has her phone out and hits record. More for sound then for video.

On the other side of the curtain, Asmo lays on the table with a towel over his rear end.

MASSEUSE: "Can you face up Mr. Asmodeus?"

Hesitantly, he flips over and the camera zooms on his face.

A: "I thought you always started on the backside...............

"That's some thick lotion you have."

Linn cracks a huge smile knowing whats coming.


Then it does.


The ominous tearing sound....

A: "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

"What the mother *bleep*ing hell!? You mother *bleep*ing god *bleep* piece of *bleep* I'm gonna rip your heart out and feed it to my dog you mother *bleep*ing *bleep*sucking ass*bleep* mother *bleep*er! Bull*bleep*! Bull*bleep*! HOLY *BLEEP*! That *bleep*ing hurt like a mother *bleep*er!!"

Still smiling, Linn stops recording and send the video to Sebastian.

"What did u send me?"
"Just open it :-)"

Moments later....

"HOLY S--T! What the hell did u do 2 him?"
":-)"
"I've never heard him use those words LOL!"
"Ahhhh yes. The power of the male Brazilian wax!"
"OMFG U DIDN'T!"
"I did. :-)"
"LMMFAO! He's gonna hate u!"
"He'll get over it!"
"I almost wish I was there 2 hear it live!"
"U should get that done!"
"What? My phones breaking up! I'll have 2 text u later! Bye!"
"Always a smartass."
":-)"

She puts the phone away and begins to relax and enjoy her massage as the scene finally fades to black....