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John Austin · (09-02-2013)

The kid did it, all his hard work and determination has finally paid off. He outlasted thirty other men and is now the holder of one of the 24/7 briefcases. John can now be considered a top player in XWF and what better way to ice the cake than be the winner of the Night of Sacrifice death-match tournament. Can John do it? Stay tuned XWF nation, now it's time for another episode of Straight Outta Compton.........

*with a stoner type of voice* Normally everyone, I would play my musical intro and say wake up, time to die, all that jazz. But this time, I am going to play it nice and cool. I am going to be relaxed and chill. .....Like my impression of D.Shadows? good ....NOW WAKE UPPPPP!!!!!!! TIME TO FUCKING DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really John? at least warn your listeners every-time you do that, damn.

You all watch Thunderbowl last night? well for those living under a fucking rock, let me give you a clue on who won. *John drops the briefcase down on the desk* ....Hear that motherfuckers? ...that's right, I said I was going to walk in to Thunderbowl and walk out as the winner. It feels oh so good, I hold the power and everyone now looks behind their back because I could be right behind them ready to cash it in.

Now today's show is not about me gloating from my victory last night, oh no, this episode will be about D. Shadows and my next round opponents in the death-match tourney. Now some are probably saying "John you are getting a little ahead of yourself, you still have to win round one" .....Well no shit fuckers. See I was looking over the card this morning and when I beat Shadows in the first round, I will either have to face Juan Madison or Kyle Morrison in a fire match.

Either way, I think my name is already carved in for the final round. Let's face facts ladies and germs, D. Shadows is only in wrestling to fund his very expensive smoking habit. Kyle Morrison is still a young guy in this business and if he defeats Juan, he still will have a challenge placed upon himself with Mr. Two Two Six Two Four. If Juan somehow makes it to the second round, he will have to face me again and that border jumper already lost in Thunderbowl....So yeah, all of you all can suck it.

D. Shadows, I hope you can tune in or download this episode of Straight Outta Compton. Lay off the green for a couple days and focus man. You are getting the once of a lifetime opportunity to take on one of the hottest young wrestlers in XWF right now. You can single handedly write your name in the record books if you can beat me. That's if you can, personally I think your head will be too high in the clouds to give a damn if you win or lose.

Now for you Kyle or Juan. You two go ahead and beat the ever loving shit out of each other. Just make my job a whole hell of a lot easier when I face either one of you in the second round. You can put on a mask and cape and call yourself a luchadore or you can be the brother of one of XWF's under-rated talent. To me, I don't fucking care what you are, once you step in the ring with me, you're dead to rights.

So all you motherfuckers listening out there, tune in on the ninth and witness history. Watch John Austin....that's me ...walk into Night of Sacrifice and spill buckets of blood, sweat and more blood of all those ready to take me on. It doesn't matter to me who you are or what brand affiliation you have. Come the ninth, everyone in the tourney will have a target placed upon their back. I already have the briefcase and now it's time for the cherry on top.

Now motherfuckers, I have a email to read to you all before I close the show. Let's hope it's not as bad as the last letter I received. This is from a listener named The Man...

"Hey John, just letting you know man, that me and my buddies love your show. It was far out that you won last night. I told me buddies that you where going to do it but they didn't believe me. Anyways, big fan and keep up the work.

signed,

The man"

Well *laughs* sounds like my fan-base even goes out there to the high seas. A fuckin stoner pirate! "Me buddies" *laughs* wow.

Alright everyone, this has been Straight Outta Compton. Next week, will be a actual video of me doing this show. Special guest...fuck, I don't know maybe I can find this stoner pirate and get him to be apart of the show.

Anyways, this is Mr twenty four seven saying only dopes....use dope.

This has been Straight Outta Compton. Next week a live version of this podcast. On the road....here we gooooo!

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