Mr. XWF has decided NOT to narrate his own shit this time. That's not to say he doesn't have a couple of interesting comments for us though. Spit some game our way, Admiral Appendage!
A whole day has gone by and nobody has done anything except for Mr. Radio and all he did was jack off a bunch of dolphins for a damn wooden nickel. Yeah nice job bucko. Why even air that shit to the public? At least go jerk off a land animal for fuck's sake!
The fact that none of my possible opponents for this Saturday are worth me mentioning, and that I have to keep falling back on the hilarity that is Peter Gilmour and Rose Smith, pretty much tells you how fucking pathetic the competition is going to be at the Thunder Bowl. I mean seriously? Who the fuck has made their presence known who's gonna have a nut-shot in hell at stopping me? Right? Ya dig? Exaaaaaaactly. THE PEOPLE'S COCK IS LARGE AND IN CHARGE AND NOT A GOD DAMN ONE OF THESE TWINK-ASS TROLLOPS IS GOING TO STAND A CHANCE! JUAN MAXICON AND THIS BOY WITH THE BIG OL' DICK ARE GOING TO GO FULL RAPE SQUAD ON ALLLLLLLL YOUR SPONGE CAKE ASSES!
That brings me to the fruit that hasn't made his presence known other than talking some bullshit on the sidelines. GRIFFIN MACASSLISTER! This dirty ol' bitch claimed he was going to enter this Battle Bowl just to get his hands on my cock BUT WHERE IS HE? WHERE'S THAT DIRTY, DIRTY MECHANIC WITH GREASE AND OIL ALL OVER HIS HANDS? HE WON'T EVEN NEED TO USE ANY LUBE TO PROPERLY STROKE ME OFF! But! He'll at least need to SHOW UP! I can't exactly use a picture of Griffin to stroke my big ass cock! Or can I? I guess if you think about it, a picture of Griffin has just as much chance of BEATING THE PEOPLE'S COCK as the real Griffin does. I sure hope he uses both hands this time.
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Mr. XWF appears on a standard looking talkshow set. He's seated in a green plush beanbag chair and has a visible erection through his red and silver spandex body suit. His mask is as glittery as ever, with a few obvious shit stains on the left side of it and a glistening coating that might either be ice or body fluids.
Mr. XWF: Welcome to ONE ON ONE WITH ROSE SMITH!
Oh wow, did Mr. XWF really get Rose to appear with him on live telly? A fat, and I mean disgustingly fat black bitch comes walking out and sits in a heavily reinforced chair next to Mr. XWF.
Mr. XWF: Welcome, Rose, you ugly ass cow.
Rose: Thank ya hunny.
Mr. XWF: Now let's get one thing straight. There are some transcripts between you and I that I've been ordered by the King to release to the public. I'd say I'm sorry about that but in reality all I really wanna say is tough shit, you knew who you were talking to when you sent those dirty texts, left me those nasty voice mails, and had those raunchy phone sex sessions. You knew damn well that The People's Cock would serve THE PEOPLE and throw your privacy down the toilet after unloading a few pounds of shit on top of it. How does it feel, dirty bitch? How do you think Gilmour is going to react when he sees this?
Rose: I just hope Petey will still love me and will still give me an allowance. I also hope he'll start sharing dinner with me. I'm soooooooooooooo fucking tired of having to heat up 9 frozen dinners on my own because Petums won't share his egg rolls, chicken breasts, steaks, pasta, garlic bread or fried calamari with me. I guess I understand. I mean that's only enough for 1 person and he's a strong, hungry man.
Black Rose starts picking her fat African American nose. Not to be racist, but you know damn well their noses are fuckin' big. Rose sticks pretty much her whole finger......make that her whole hand up her left nostril and goes digging around.
Mr. XWF: Jesus Marion Sugar Pac! What the fuck AND DR. X-TREMITY MEANS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING? YOU DIGGING FOR SOME GOLD? YOU LOOKING FOR PETER?
Mr. XWF starts cupping his hands and yelling at Black Rose's nose.
Mr. XWF: Helllllooooooo up there! Helllllooooooooo!!! Peter! PETER! GET DA FUCK OUTTA THERE!
Mr. XWF punches his fist up her giant nostril and tries yanking it back out, BUT IT'S STUCK!
Mr. XWF: Hooooooooo-ly shit! MY DAMN FIST! IT'S FINISHED! I'M ABOUT TO HAVE A HOOK FOR A FUCKIN' HAND OR SOME SHIT! ARRRRRRRRRRR THEY BE CALLIN' BE CAPTAIN HOOK AFTER TONIGHT! FUCK YAR ASS!
Mr. XWF keeps trying to pull his arm as Black Rose's nostril pulsates, slowly sucking more and more of Mr. XWF's arm up inside of it. At first it was just his fist but now we're past his elbow and moving up closer to his shoulder! What if she never stops snorting him up and all that's left is his big ol' dick?
Mr. XWF: Gaaah! Bllaaaaahhrrrhehouousdaaah! Faahhhck!
Rose doesn't care what Mr. XWF says at this point. He's getting sucked up her nostril.
SNNNNNNNNNNNOOORT!
His entire body gets sucks up into her face!
Mr. XWF will not be appearing at Thunder Bowl. He has been absorbed by Black Rose Smith and is dead.
Rose Smith murders Mr. XWF! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! SOMEBODY CALL 911! HELP! SHE'S RABID! -->
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