The scene opens in the local Home Depot. The familiar orange and white Home Depot designs runs the circuit of the warehouse. The smell of fresh cut lumber fills the building. Employees walk around the store in their blue and orange aprons, asking if people need help. Most of the guys walking into this place don't know a damn thing about home improvement, but have to act the part anyways. The camera pans the store and stops in the ladder aisle. There stands Jonny Rebel, staring at the various ladders. Wearing his normal boots and blue jeans, Jonny sports a new t-shirt designed by no other then XWF's Christine Nash and Twisted Angel Designs. Along side him is an older, gray haired man who works at this Home Depot. The man sports a large pair of eye glasses and has many wrinkles on his face. life has not been good to this man.
I have this guy here to explain to me the LADDER. Please sir, explain the LADDER.
Jonny grabs a ladder and sets it up. He climbs to the top and listens to the man.
Well, what we have here is your standard aluminum 6ft ladder. It's sturdy and strong as you can tell from climbing to the top. Although, they aren't meant to sit on top of like that.
Jonny climbs down and places the ladder back into its holder. He moves to the next one and it's taller. He grabs it and sets it up as well. It's red and looks heavy duty. He climbs to the top.
What about this ladder, old timer?
That there is an 8ft fiberglass step ladder. It's got a Type IA rating.
Hold on man, explain this rating system for me really quick.
Well it's a load limit rating system. The ladder that you currently sit atop of is rated IA, meaning it has a load limit of 300lbs. It is a heavy duty industrial ladder. The weights for other ladders go up to 375lbs. It's the whole ANSI/OSHA requirements. It's a strict code that should be regarded any time someone uses a ladder.
Jonny gets down from the ladder and folds it up. He looks at the other ladders. He lifts one up and swings it around. The old man ducks and backs away.
Young man, these ladders aren't meant to be swung at people. You use them to grab stuff, not act like a hooligan and spin the ladder around at people.
Jonny stops and looks the old man dead in the eyes. He grins and sets the ladder up. It's a 10ft ladder. Jonny climbs to the top.
That's exactly what I plan to do with this ladder. I'm going to destroy people with this ladder. I'm then going to take your advice old man, and use it to grab the contract that will be hanging high above it.
Jonny watches as the old man walks away to actually help someone. Jonny looks into the camera.
Caliban, I have been there man. You don't drink and promo. It's bad for your health.
I stepped on a landmine? Really? I'm not afraid of the little bit of fight you deliver. What you should be worried about is the darkness inside of you. I think either The Schlong or Mr. XWF might have gotten a hold of you while you were in the hospital. Get that shit checked out man. Could be contagious.
But you were right on the money about one thing; bad things are going to happen on Saturday night. Bad things will happen to every guy or girl in the match against me.
And Matt Lennox, you talk about this being your second coming? You never managed a first coming, so a second coming is out of the question. Especially since I'm going to be walking away with the contract. So do me a favor and go back to the Grand Canyon and jump in. The chances that you survive the jump into the Grand Canyon are just about as high as your chances of winning this match: 0%.
Jonny climbs down the ladder and folds it up. He picks it and looks into the camera. He then smashes the camera with the ladder. The scene goes black and white and fades out.
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