We open in what looks like a private room in a hospital, Caliban is laying eyes closed

Excuse me Jordy?

He opens his eyes and waves the interviewer in

Kinda sore right now Christopher so you will excuse me if I miss out the being mean to you this time, you get 1 question ask it quick and then leave

The interviewer smiles and reaches into his backpack and pulls out a game boy color and Pokemon gold

OK 2 questions

The camera man stops him again and reaches into his bag again

These are my grandmas cheesecake fudge squares which have been modified to your usual specifications for baked goods

You little bastard Mikey, stay the hell off my Facebook page

He then reaches forwards for a semi complicated hand shake

OK kid yah got me, 3 questions and that's it, I don't need you in here at sponge bath time, I heard Jesse Diaz volunteers as a candy striper at this hospital so yah never know

Yeah right, anyways ok so first off how are you feeling that was a beast of a bump you took last night

Yeah man there were no fans there when I landed, it's almost like someone planned it

insert over exaggerated wink at the camera here

But yeah man that shit hurt like hell, I will say one thing though I was asking for it ha ha ha, but, ow! fuckin tripped something in my back waiting for the chiro to come fix me up, they said I should be outta here and cleared to wrestle by Thursday

Anything in particular you want to say to Shawn Steele?

Shawn that was, oh that's your second question by the way, Shawn dude that was awesome you doubled your record for crying out loud, I guess when we finally settle this properly Ill have to come up with a new strategy, how quickly do you think I can break your legs Shawn? But unfounded cocky comments aside Shawn Steele I've said it once and I'll say it now laying here half crippled, Shawn you scare the shit out of me, AND I LOVE IT!

OK last one

Make it a good one Adolfo

Any words for the man you seem to have a somewhat unbalanced relationship with, and of course the winner of the rumble LJ Havok

Caliban lays back and smiles

I got 3 words to start with and then a whole lot afterwards, LJ "FUCKING BEAUTIFUL MATE." That is was one of the greatest things I have ever seen laying on a stretcher, I always said it wasn't going to be me but I got my spotlight brother I am so so happy it was you, now bring home that fucking crown we have a dynasty to build. But yeah sorry got overexcited, its the morphine makes me goofy, I haven't been here long and I got in everyone's face saying everything I said about all of them, about me not winning this but someone like me having just as good a chance as anyone in the locker room, Thank you for coming in and proving my point for me

And I'm assuming we are done?

Yeah we are done, thanks for the goody bag Chrissy, I appreciate it

And with that Caliban pumps up the morphine drip munches down a cheesey space cake and goes back to the colors he has been ignoring since the interview began