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Walter "Waldo" Wilcox · (07-01-2014)

----[ WHERE'S WALDO? ]----

NEW ORLEANS

It's time to party! Everyone is out on the town Thursday evening enjoying themselves. Who wouldn't? It's New Orleans. Live Jazz music is being played and can be heard every where in town. It could possibly be a jazz festival mixed in with some wine tasting. Well, at least it appears that way to any person visiting the town.

Meanwhile...

Begin The Narrator
There's a very frustrated author sitting in his home on this evening. His clean shaven face has started to give a five o'clock shadow. His clothes are wrinkled with spaghetti sauce stains in various places on his shirt. It could be pizza sauce, but we'll say spaghetti. We like spaghetti. Everyone does. Especially those low-carb eaters trying to stay away from pizza.

The author tried his best to come up with the next BIG idea. Not only would that help boost his troubling career, but it also would give some great rewards. The biggest reward I'm sure that would be on everyone's mind is the capital. Sorry. I sometimes use different lingo that may not be understood by everyone. By capital, I actually meant money. Coins. Something of value for transaction purpose.

One must ask to try and get ahead in the story, "So, did the author come up with the next BIG idea?". I'm glad you're thinking that question. Kudos to you my friend. We're going to get along well.

That question you so kindly asked and are curious about knowing before you actually hear the story is, well, it's quite complicated. I suppose the answer doesn't have to get complicated. The author did come up with the next BIG idea, but an idea that also drove him a little bit crazy. Wouldn't you? Oh! Apologies. You don't know what the idea is. Well, off we go.
End The Narrator

People every where are enjoying the light jazz music, glasses of wine, and a beautiful evening. Everyone is dressed nice and having a nice evening out of the town. Appearing from somewhere is an average muscle built person. He's wearing blue jeans, a long-sleeve shirt with red and white stripes crossing horizontal, thick black round glasses, and a red and white stocking type hat. He just doesn't fit among the people in New Orleans. At least not this night. He has what looks to be an iphone 5 in his hand with it. Apparently, he's filming himself talking as he walks.

"Is-Is this thing on? Oh, good. So, I joined a wrestling company. XWF. I'm not sure how promos work, but I-I'm a good wrestler. I'm well diverse at submissions and the psychology of the game. I saw that there's a crazy Battle Royal happening Monday night."

Waldo bumps into a few people because he' really not paying attention to what's in front of him.

"E-Excuse me. Sorry. It's crazy packed here. I'm use to packed places. M-M-My name is Waldo. Maybe you've seen me? Well, maybe you've seen drawings of me or people pretending to be me. I hate people trying to be something they're not. Just be you. Am I right? Well, anyways, I decided to make my first debut on television. Ever. That debut will be also my professional wrestling debut. I'm excited to meet many of you. Should I be excited? I'm not sure what to feel.

I heard anyone can enter this Battle Royal and get a shot at fighting for the King of the XWF title. Wouldn't that be something? Me. Waldo. King of the XWF. I highly doubt that's going to happen. B-But don't none of you underestimate me. I may be a super nice guy, which I am. So if anyone needs anything, let me know. I've tutored a few kids who were struggling in school, so I can do that. I-I'm good at cleaning. Just anything I can do to help you, I'd like to. I think?

I saw a lot things many of you said regarding this match. Impressed. I'm not sure if I'm afraid or if I just have butterflies going wild in my stomach. I don't think it was anything I ate. I'm pretty good at watching what I eat.

You guys are interesting. You sound tough. Tough is a good thing to be in this kind of match. Have any of you watched matches like this? Liiiike, WCW. Have you ever heard of that place? If not, I can fill you in. WCW had a THREE RING battle royal. I think it was at an event called World War 3. Boy was it! Then, the WWF, well WWE now, has a yearly Royal Rumble. It's pretty wild too.

Shit.

Waldo steps in some dog crap. He looks a bit annoyed, but isn't sure what to do about it. He's not paying attention to the phone in his hand anymore, even though it's still recording. The video is going to make you dizzy. Waldo finds an area of grass to begin wiping his shoe, trying to get the dog crap off. He appears to get most of it off his shoe and continues his walk through the town of New Orleans.

"Sorry for the language. Family friendly? I stepped in dog dookie. I just wish people would pick up after their pets. I mean, really. Oh, where was I? Wrestling... Friendly... Helping... World War 3... Royal Rum. Got it! So, if any of you guys haven't seen those battle royals, then we should hang out. I've got them all on DVD. You can come by, I'll cook something healthy, and we'll watch it together. Maybe we could even become, f-f-friends? I don't have too many. Ok, I don't have any.

Let's be honest. I'm the new guy. I probably don't have a shot at winning this battle royal, especially it being my first battle royal, and first wrestling match on television. You never know, though. It would be a SHOCKER! To that wrestler fighting in the Battle Royal named Shocker, that was no pun intended. I promise. Maybe just a bad choice of word on my part. My bad. Wait, one more. Just thought of one. If I won the battle royal, it would be shocking.

And seriously, how cool is it to have your last name as radio? Mr. Radio, I'm a fan. I love the radio. Well, until it plays the same songs over and over again, then I just switch to my mp3 player. Though, I'm sure you're a good dj at your radio station. Maybe a tip? From a customer, well, listener... ?... don't play the same music over and over. Explore. You know? I'm sure you don't say or do the same thing in the XWF to make the audience bored. If you do, well, change it up. You know, like the radio thing I said.

Dwayne Johnson? Really? THE Dwayne The Rock Johnson? I'm a fan, sir. IF YA SMELL LALALA WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN! At least I was a fan until you made some crappy movies. Why? I look forward to taking the peoples elbow!

John Black. I loved you in Family Matters. EDDIE! Am I right? Ha. At least I hope that's you, Eddie Winslow, or I may have to get yet ANOTHER prescription for my glasses. That's just no good.

Jesse Diaz. Wow. Beautiful lady. I know this may be sudden, but afterwards, would you be interested in going out for a bite to eat? I could cook for you. I have tons of movies. Blu-ray.

Shawn Steele. He looks scary. He sounds like a bully. I hope he isn't. I don't like bullies. I was picked on a lot in school. Those people just.. OOOOOOO!

Juan Madison. My spanish isn't so great. So, Hola! Welcome-o to America-o? I love those high flyers from Mexico. Just be careful. High flying moves don't fit well in Battle Royal matches, amigo. I don't know why I'm telling you this. I'm giving you advice on how to win. Oh, good grief. High fly!

Jesse, I haven't had a girlfriend. Ever."

Waldo stops talking. He begins to jump up and down yelling at himself.

"Idiot! Idiot! Don't tell her that! Sorry, Jesse. Ignore what I just said. I've had TONS of girlfriends. I'm... Nope. Can't say that. It's lying. You know better Waldo! Come on! Jesse. I meant, I would love to kiss

Waldo's battery in his phone dies. It's immediately uploaded to the XWF social media website for all to see.

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