Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Ricky Desmond · (07-31-2013)

“You're lying!!”

Ricky bellows out in fury flipping the glass table that was between them over and it smashes into pieces. Dr. Quinn stays surprisingly calm, still sat with his left leg over his right knee with his notepad and pen in hand.

“And why would I lie Ricky? It is up to you whether you choose to accept what I say. I am relaying the facts. If you would prefer to live in your suppressed imaginary world then that is your choice. I am here to help you recover but I cannot do that without your acceptance. So what is it going to be Ricky?”

Ricky takes a deep breath and sits back down, straightening out his tie as he does so.

“You are right. I am sorry. I just do not understand how it is possible for anyone to suppress five years worth of memories.”

“Memory suppression is something that is easily done Ricky. Unfortunately the smallest thing will bring these memories flushing back. So what I have said today will mean that the trauma of your past may begin to flood back into your head space. Although many people suppress their memories it is not a healthy thing to do. The reason why guilt was beginning to haunt you is because of your recent attempts at getting back on the dating scene. Memories of her have started to slowly eat away at your mind. This is why you see her in the streets, this is why you cannot sleep and this is why you are so angry.

What you need to understand Ricky is that you pulled the plug on Isabella because she was suffering and she wanted you to do it. You were charged with the assist of suicide when the fact of the matter is you loved her and you were punished for carrying out what your soul mate wanted. She was your lover and your best friend and it frightens me that you have managed to suppress so much. Your journey in prison, the ending of a life and the spine curdling blame to a man who does not even exist. You have never had a manager of you business yet I feel like maybe it is time you hired one. You need time to absorb all of the things that I am telling you and you certainly need time for this trauma to subside because another thing that you must understand is that this is not an easy process and it will certainly not happen over night. You will continue to struggle to sleep but what I suggest is you make the most of this time.

The more you think about wanting to sleep the harder it will be.”

“This suffering is going to continue is what you are telling me? Memories will slowly come back to me. Is there anything more specific I should know?”

“You should know that you did a lot of defending when you were in prison, you made few friends and you still fought your way out of that place. Here you are Ricky. You have become what you are due to the time you spent in prison. This is the crazy thing. You have become stronger in so many ways and you never questioned where these strengths came from.”

“I always just assumed that I was naturally a fighter.”

“You are naturally tough. It was your survivor's instinct in prison that allowed you to become a good fighter. Other people will not understand so you have to know that so much more is going on in your head.”

“So what about the people who black mailed me, do you know who they were?”

“They were not anybody. You really believe that these things happened Ricky. Frederick had a panic attack because he lost one of your cases. Everything else was imaginary. Who do you think reported so much of your strange actions? Who do you think told us of the conversations you have been having with yourself. The only thing that is real is the fact that your office did lose a lot of files. Although, unfortunately that was me. I needed this files to find out what was so wrong with you. They explained everything.”

“I imagined all of that?”

“Yes. It's not all bad though Ricky, you saved Frederick when he had that panic attack.”

A tear began to trickle down Ricky's face.

“Why would I pull the plug though Dr. Quinn? If I loved her so much I would have wanted to do anything to help her survive. I would never have pulled the plug surely?”

“She was suffering Ricky, why would you want to see that? Why would you want to see your one true love going through a unnecessary pain when it got to the point that all she wanted was an everlasting sleep.”

Images of Isabella suffering in a hospital began to flood Ricky's mind. He holds his head and stares down between his knees at the floor in disbelief.

“She wanted you to do it, the odds of her living were so slim. All hope was lost and she wanted it to end. You did it for her Ricky.”

“I can't handle any more Dr. Quinn. I need to go home. This is all far too much to take in for one day.”

Dr Quinn smiles and nods. The two men shake hands, Ricky quickly writes a cheque for the table and exits. Although as he does so he immediately falls down back against the wall, flinging his brief case across the hall way. He begins to break down, tears streaming down his face.

As he stops weeping a final tear rolls down his face like the last rain drop on a window. Ricky takes a deep breath and stands up, shrugging it off and heading out of the building, waving to the receptionist he does so. Images of Isabella continued to plague away at his mind but he tried to suppress them just as he did his 5 year memory. Dr. Quinn wanted Ricky to embrace the images for a while so that he could accept his past but it seemed impossible.

Strolling home slowly, it was slowly becoming more of a stagger than a stroll. Then he saw it.

Alley Pond Park.

The place where his imagination had become so warped and the place that had always meant so much to him and Isabella. So much that it was the pivotal of all of his false memories...

He stood and gazed upon the stunning lake.

Black.

Ricky fainted for a brief second. Lying flat on the grass he awoke in the empty park.

Dazzled.

Ricky will continue to suffer but he will only become stronger.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode I shall not fall. (RP#5)
Author	Message