Hey, since not many people provide feedback, I am wondering if you guys can provide me with some constructive criticism. I want to get better and be able to hang with you guys. Anything would help.

Not sure how much of a veteran I am, but I've been giving some feedback to people (although, not as much as I would like to) but for your first week here, I'm impressed. A lot of the nitpicks I have with your work (since they're just nitpicks, I won't bother saying them here) will probably get better as I get more and more familiar with the character. The biggest thing I have to say however is that there honestly no reason for me to care about the Jonny Rebel character. To the point where if we weren't in the same tournament, I probably wouldn't read a whole lot of your work. In that regard, I'm glad for this tournament, because you are good, however there's nothing that sticks with me.

Again, that's probably an issue of being your first week here, and trying to introduce the character more than the character not having a hook.

Like, to keep people's interest in my trash talk, I try to use humor a lot, which made writing the last piece I did a lot harder, being serious and all.

All in all, I think you're off to a great start (A fuckton better than mine when I first got here) and the thing I would say that could help with my main problem the most would be giving a look into the character when he's not filming a promo. Really let us get into his personality. His military service especially would be a goldmine for ideas in that department.

Just be sure to do two things:

1. Have fun with what you're writing and don't place too much value on wins, losses, and the competition matter

2. See the first thing.

You'll do great.

I see what you are saying. I want my character to win matches, but it's not the be all. I want to have fun. I'll take everything you said and run with it. Thanks man.

I have been roleplaying since 1996 and I see a lot of talent in your work. The more you delve into your character and expose who he is to everyone you will get even better. I like how you describe your surroundings and set it so the reader can visualize what is going on. That will get you far as you develop. Keep up the good work.