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Stevie Tyler · (07-30-2013)

OR, STEVIE GETS SERIOUS

Stevie Tyler sat in the movie theater with Julie, the girl from Hot Topic who had vomited on to end their first date. She was really upset with him at the time, understandably so, but now she, like the world, knows about Stevie and Gary. Gary being the demon that posses him. Stevie wanted her to pick the movie, and she chose The Conjuring just because he thought maybe he could relate.

He couldn't. He sat and couldn't help but laugh when the one demon pushed an upside down cross into the skin of a man 'possessed'. When the mother kept waking up with bruises, he kept silently giggling about the thought of the demon sneaking in in the middle of the night to punch her and run away. Stevie had only met four demons, admittedly, but only one of them actively tried to kill him and even that was a bit of an accident, he'd been told.

The most exciting moment of the movie for Stevie was when he was sharing his popcorn with Julie, and stereotypically enough, their hands brushed. He pulled away, embarrassed. She smiled at him and laid her head on his shoulder. It was all quite sickening if you ask this narrator.

Julie was creeped out by the whole thing, and even though Stevie found it unrealistic, they both agreed that it was a decent movie. The lighting was interesting. They didn't rely too much on the 'gotcha' moments. It was more of an atmospheric experience, which isn't found too often these days.

Julie dropped him off at his apartment and walked him to his door. He was hoping she'd come in, but he was met with a polite kiss on the cheek and a smile to say 'goodnight'.

He entered his apartment and immediately began to foam at the mouth. The eyes turned black.

Oh, wait…I left out something. See, what was happening in Hell as he was on his date was that Drotte the Liar had decided to explain to Gary what he was doing wrong in making Stevie a success in the XWF.

"No, no, no, Baal'Nezz. You're missing the point," he said.

"Bro. Let me explain this to you one more time. Promos HAVE to have catchphrases. You HAVE to have something the kids can latch onto. Stuff that will look good on T-shirts AND get your point across. Hulk Hogan, bro. The Rock? Come on. That's how you do it," Gary responded.

"I understand what you mean quite clearly. What I am trying to instill in you is that for a promotional piece of material to be truly effective, it has to be like a good lie. The best lies are the ones that are sandwiched between slices of the truth. Instead of forcing young Steven to repeat your wrestling heroes ad nauseam, you need to dig deeper. It needs to come from his heart. From his experiences. Only then will strike fear in his opponents and courage in his fans. Once that happens, the merchandise will sell. Let me show you."

That's what was said right as Stevie ended his date. Stevie would later be relieved that it happened when it did this time, instead of in the middle of conversation with Julie. He staggered over to the computer and turned it on. Webcam, livestream…Promo time. You know the deal by now if you've been reading.

You have. I know.

Stevie looked at the camera, and looked down. He wiped his mouth off, smacking the foam away. When his gaze returned, he looked normal. Not exactly for him. He was focused and intense. He even had a smirk about him. The eyes had returned to their regular shade, though.

"Eli. James. The Fourth. People like you, man. People like you are what's wrong with this world. People that like to force their beliefs on other people. Guys that think that just because they're bigger and stronger, they've got that right. I remember when I was a kid, my mom…My mom is a saint. My mom might be a little bit odd when it comes to her beliefs. I mean, I see her all the time wearing those Jesus Christ-impostor shirts. The ones that say things like 'Holy David's Son' 'GODSWAY' in the Subway style. She's always trying to give me Test-A-Mints with their little biblical scriptures on them. And that's all fine and dandy. My mom sent me to one of those church lock-ins when I was 14. One of those where you're sorta' held hostage and forced to listen to Christian rock all night and they make you drink Sprite and alka setzer to see who can hold it the longest. We played a game where we were basically doing hide-and-seek in the dark. They split us into teams. 'You guys are Christians during The Tribulation. You guys are the Antichrist's government. You guys hide, and try to help each other escape.' We hid, and the lights got turned out. They said the game was to teach us what life would be like in The Tribulation, and let me tell you, Christians are gonna' make-out a ton. Like, all over the place. Even in the janitor's closet. That night, though, was the first time little Stevie Tyler got beat up and stuffed in a locker. They handed us this flyer about Christian music and the 'evils of worldly rock and roll'. It had a list of bands I knew…Nine Inch Nails, Rob Zombie, TOOL, Rancid…and it said, 'If you like x then you might like y.' 'If you like Nine Inch Nails, you might like Avalon.' 'If you like Rob Zombie, try Jars of Clay.' I laughed. 'If you like good music, you might like this garbage,' I said. Then I got punched in the mouth. 'If you like being a

, maybe you'd like another punch in the mouth.' That's what he said. And I didn't. I didn't like that at all, Eli. He shoved me in the locker and all the other kids cheered him. Honestly, the first time I heard the fans at the War Room cheer for you and The Black Circle, it's exactly what came to mind. He shoved me in that locker and they all cheered, and that kept happening. At least once a week at school. I joined the FCS, Fellowship of Christian Sutdents, because my mom wanted me to. They'd point me out every meeting. 'Don't be like Stevie.' I don't mean to just knock those kids. I mean, I was a loser. I still am. That's how much of one. It wasn't just them, it was all the kids. Eli, when Gary possessed me. When I realized what I was now capable of. When I signed that XWF contract. That's when I said, 'No more.' No more was I gonna' let bullies, religious or otherwise, push me around. No more, was I gonna' stand back and watch helpless people get bullied.

It was time to stand up.

I know what you see when you look at me, Eli. I know you see some little punk that's got no business being a ring with you. I know you see some immature kid that would rather be sitting at home playing video games or watching Serenity. I know that, because usually it's true.

I know what you're gonna' say, too, Eli. I know you're sittin' out there in your little rocking chair, laughing, convincing men to hand over their wives and you're thinking, 'Well I'll be a monkey's racist uncle. I got me a big ol' match with lil' Stevie Tyler on Winsdee. This'll be a rootin' tootin' walk in tha park I tell you wut. Why, I'm gonna' go in theiere and lay hands on that there poor ol' boy and cast them demons and all his hope of survival right own out of 'im.'

I'm here to tell you, Eli, that you won't. What happens Wednesday, won't be because of the demons. What happens Wednesday won't be because someone or something forced me to. What happens Wednesday, will be because of you. I'm going to come into that ring…heh…like a man possessed. I'm gonna' make the FBI raid on David Koresh look like child's play, Eli. Are you ready for that?

You wanna' walk around with your goonsquad and crucify everyone you come into contact with? It's not gonna' happen Wednesday. I will stop you. And when I do…the next week…I'm gonna' take your 'earthly treasures' too. That US Title is coming home with Stevie Tyler. It'll look good next to my TMNT display.

Eli, even though I think you and people like you are what's wrong with this world, I did take the time to something that you have people on your compound do. I decided to write a journal to get ready for this match. You wanna' hear some of the entries?"

Stevie grabs a sheet of paper off of his computer desk and doesn't even look down to read it. It might even be blank.

"Day 1: Eli James is a bitch.

Day 2: Eli James is a bitch.

Day 3: Eli James is a bitch.

It goes on like this for quite a while. My apologies. See you Wednesday. Dude."

Stevie turns off the camera and starts to gag. A single fly buzzes out of his mouth, followed by just a touch of pink foam. He sits for a moment and turns around in the black swivel chair. His roommate, LJ, is right behind him, stunned.

"Dude…Eli…Eli is gonna' kill you, dude. That was…not what you should have said."

Stevie's face went pale. He thought about writing an apology letter to Eli, but…well, something told him it wouldn't do any good.

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