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RussellMania · (07-29-2013)

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Scene #1:

A few days ago during a live broadcast of XWF on television we were told by XWF backstage correspondent; Steve Sayors that Mr. Russell Mania had confirmed that he would be taking part in a live YouTube program tonight where he would make an announcement regarding the upcoming "RussellMania 1" Shove It! event which takes place on Sunday August.11, 2013!

"RussellMania 1" is a part of the "Superstars Shove It!" Series that begins on August 3rd when
XWF Superstar; Hunter Payne acts as the General Manager for "Shove It: House Of Payne". Other upcoming "Shove It!" hosts include: NeoNero, Lightning and Eli James IV! There is no question that the fans have been very excited for the upcoming Series of Shove It! events however the one event that has people asking the most questions is that of Mr. Russell Mania's. Unlike the other upcoming Special General Managers Russell Mania is a relative newcomer to the X-Treme Wrestling Federation. The fans did not know much about Mr. Russell Mania besides the fact that he has a vicious mean streak and appears to be a very egotistical, flamboyant middle-aged man. There was no question that RussellMania was going to be an "unpredictable" show but would that prove to be a good thing or a bad thing?

Scene #2:
Russell Mania's YouTube Announcement

The XWF logo flashes across the stream and Mr. Russell Mania's LIVE YouTube broadcast is officially underway! We open with a stage hand who we see standing in what appears to be Russell Mania's house! We see him knocking on Russell's bedroom door, in the background we can hear the sound of a woman screaming in pleasure. The stage hand continues to knock on the door.

XWF Employee: Mr. Mania! We are live sir! Were on the air now.! Mr. Mania?

Finally we hear Mania let out a large moaning noise.

And we are back on and we see the door open up and a naked Cameron and Naomi come sprinting from the bedroom, the camera quickly t points towards the floor and we watch Cameron and Naomi bare feet scurries into another room while giggling. The camera then zooms back towards the bedroom door and we see a sweaty Russell Mania come out in a bath robe, he walks over to the chair positioned in front of the camera and sit down.

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~Mirster. Russell Mania~: Ladies and WannaBeMe's in case you don't already know! I am "The Showcase Of An Immortal", "The Grandest Man Of Em' All" Mister. Russell Mania! And I am here tonight live on this very special YouTube broadcast to talk to all of you about the greatest event to ever take place within the X-Treme Wrestling Federation! I am of course talking about the much anticipated, must see-event of all time. The first ever! The Inaugural! The Spectacle that is..... RUSSELLMANIA!!!!

Now I know that there are critics out there in the XWF universe who run their mouths about me, they act as though I am a joke, perhaps I don't fit into the XWF mold! I mean I want you to take a look at the next few weeks on XWF: Shove It! First you've got Hunter Payne who is presenting "The House Of Payne" on Saturday, August 3rd. Then the week following "RussellMania", Mr. Eli James IV will be running the show, the following week Shove It! will be hosted by NeoNero and the following week Lightning! Now I do have to ask you that when you look at these names: Hunter Payne, Lightning, NeoNero & Eli James IV.... Do you know what all four of those superstars shows will have in common?... In a word... EVERYTHING! Not to discredit anyone of them for their contributions in the ring... They are some of the best backyard workers I have ever seen! Quite frankly all four of them combined have the charisma of a peanut! To be blunt about this.... They are simply not entertaining or interesting enough to be responsible for an entire production of Shove It! Some people are meant to be the Main event like myself and others are meant to be curtain jerkers like NeoNero & Lightning!

You the fans out there that are watching me now, i'm not "breaking Kayfabe"....or wait...is saying "breaking kayfabe" in fact breaking kayfabe? It doesn't matter because the fact is what you see on television is the REAL Mr. Russell Mania, all the flash, all the excitement... It's the real McCoy baybuh! The truth is I despise the majority of my co-workers! "why?" you ask? It comes down to respect! You see I don't believe in "lying" or "ignoring" things in a vain attempt to protect the feelings of people that I honestly don't give a FUCK about! Isn't it nice children! FUCK! I can say that because this isn't XWF T.V! This is live on YouTube! Wooooo! NAICHA BOY! Ha ha! But honestly why continue to hold back the way we feel? Why continue to act as though you fans, the ignorant, mindless sheep that you are will ever stop watching us! It's about time the mass population of you fans out there know the truth... I don't like you... This isn't a character trying to get you all fired up so a good guy can come out and stand up for you! There is no hero here! This is Russell Mania talking to the general population of the X-Treme Wrestling Federation.... Wether it be fans, wrestlers, management!

To be quite frank you are lucky to have me! It is your pleasure to have me on the XWF roster! Not mine! I am simply doing you a favor! To be honest a one-off show isn't enough! A weekly show wouldn't be enough! a monthly pay-per-view wouldn't be enough! This company should change it's name to Russell Mania featuring XWF superstars.... And you closed-minded doofus' are going to take that as arrogance, cockiness and disrespect but you shouldn't.... That is how you will take it... But You Shouldn't! I don't care enough about you to disrespect you! You should look at me as the man who single handily saved the X-Treme Wrestling Federation from the brink of extinction! Two weeks ago when I walked through the doors of the XWF for the first time I quickly saw that I signed a multi-year deal with a sinking ship! So instead of pulling out of my contract I did the "heroic thing".... I SAVED the XWF from extinction! I raped the XWF, I FUCKED the XWF! And I left my seed all over the XWF and from my magical, powerful seed has sprouted a revolution! The Russell Mania revolution has BEGUN! I am responsible for impregnating each and every arena we enter each week! So while all you XWF superstars continue to pretend to be the best! While you pretend that your lives mean something..... I am proving it! I am the best there is no denying it! You can't argue with facts! Am I invincible? No! But am I the best professional wrestler in this business! Your damn right I am!

Now then on to the reason I arranged this whole "Live Announcement" thing! You see, I have been hearing the critics regarding my upcoming event on Sunday. August 11, 2013 it's the inaugural "RussellMania" The BIG "RussellMania 1" which emanates live from the legendary Ceasers Palace in Las Vegas, Nevada!

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Now I would like to take this opportunity to announce the two main events for the evening! You see in an odd turn of events I have found it more "beneficial" to myself that I opt out of the nights Main Event! Because well... I have "Russell Mania Moments" everyday of my life! I am the lucky one! It is time for someone else to have their "RussellMania Moment".... I will however be involved in the semi-main event where I will take on XWF color commentator, the legendary Hall Of Famer; Jerry "King" Lawler!

Now for those of you who didn't know Lawler and myself have a history that dates back as far as 1991 in Memphis! And Lawler we have gone down a lot of roads together and I want you to know, because I know your sitting at home, watching this, waiting to die! Eating Sonic burgers! And I want you to know, and I mean this sincerely.... I hate you just as much if not more so then every other fan, any other XWF superstar! Jerry Lawler I don't like you, I don't respect you! But I will thank you Jerry, I fully thank you for accepting my challenge and allowing me to be the one who permanently dethrones the once great King!

Now then on to the Main Event! You see as soon as it was announced that "RussellMania 1" was booked at Ceasers Palace I knew I had to incorporate the "Las Vegas Lifestyle" into my event, I love Las Vegas and lets face it Mr. Russell Mania & Las Vegas just sound good together! baybuh! Ha Ha. And I did what everyone in the head offices at the XWF thought I could not do and I put forth a Main Event that will forever change the future of one lucky XWF Superstar! Ladies and gentlemen I present to you.....................

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The first ever "Roll The Dice" Ladder Match! You see it's a very simple contest.... Two men will start the match and hanging high above the ring is a briefcase, and whats in the briefcase? Well I'll get to that in a minute, and every two minutes there after another superstar will enter until all SIX superstars have entered the match! Now I should clarify that order entry in this kind of match is very important as there is a chance that a superstar who draws #1, #2. #3, #4 could very well pull down the briefcase before entrants #5 & #6 enter.... So how do we decide the order in which superstar enter? Very simple, actually..... Before the match the superstars will compete in a series of dice rolls against one another to decide the order of entry.... Unlike the Royal Rumble match where the freshest superstar has a distinct advantage.... This match differs because eventhough a fresher superstar might have an easier time climbing the ladder there are still 5 other determined superstars who could pull it down before you.

And "What is in the briefcase?" An opportunity to face XWF Television Champion; Mr. Satellite the following week for the Television Title! Now I'm going to give Mr. Satellite a chance to show the world what kind of champion he is too because I am going to give him the chance to prove to the entire world that he has some sense of testicular fortitude dressed up behind all that make up..... Because I am going to give the Television Champion the opportunity to enter this match as well... But "what does he have to gain?" you ask....... Well should Mr. Satellite decides that he chooses to be one of the six then he can choose his opponent out of any of other superstars to in the match.... This is only of course...If Mr. Satellite can fit "growing a set"into his busy schedule.......

And in addition to that ladies and gentlemen I am also proud to announce that, and this is a story that is so inspiring.... Tons Of Funk! Brodus Clay & Tensai are going to be parking their wheelchairs live at Ceasers Palace to watch the show! Front Row! Boy am I excited to catch up with those guys! I was actually considering wheeling them back into the backstage area, have a little chat, catch up with them, talk about old times, toss their crippled, fat asses to the ground and Show them how I tamed the Funk-A-Dactyls! Make them watch over and over again! Ha ha! I still can't get the sweet taste of Cameron out of my mouth. Ummmm!

You see! "RussellMania 1" will be like no wrestling show you have ever seen before! No Holds Barred! No Line Uncrossed! Unpredictable! That is "RUSSELLMANIA" baybuh! This is the can't miss event of the year, no decade, no.... century... This is the BIGGEST CAN'T MISS EVENT OF ALL TIME! And Ladies and WannaBeMe's! Mr. Russell Mania has gone all out in terms of production! As you already know Jerry "King" Lawler will not be joining Michael Cole at ringside instead I have a very "special" partner for Michael Cole that evening! And I think that I am going to keep him in my little book of secrets for now but I will announce that my good friend! Hollywood A-Lister; Will Ferrell will be reprising his role as Ron Burgundy and act as our special backstage correspondent! I talked to will this morning and he is psyched! Great promotion for the upcoming Anchorman 2 flick for him as well!

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And the one other announcement I am ready to make at this time alludes to the "Roll The Dice" Ladder match main event! I would like to ease the pressure amongst the XWF superstars by saying that none of you DESERVE the advantage of being entered at #1! So I have taken the liberty upon myself to reserve the first slot in the "Roll The Dice" Ladder match! And the man who will be taking the spot! Is a true legend in the wrestling business, and one of my funkiest friends! Mister. Flash Funk!

It's gettin' Funky up in 'ere! Ha ha! Now if you don't mind I think my girls are looking for a round two! And I think I have to get the taste of Cameron out of my mouth! Do you know what works for getting the taste of Cameron out of your mouth? No you don't know.. You wish you knew.... The only way to get the taste of Cameron out of your mouth... Is with the taste of Naomi! It's been your pleasure, YouTube! Stay Classy!

Mania stands up and we see Cameron and Naomi run nude past the camera into the bedroom again, Mania drops his robe flashing his bare ass while he strolls into the bedroom and closes the door. A few seconds later we hear the screaming of the girls from the bedroom again while the XWF crew turns off the Live Feed ending the Live show.

End R.P

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