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Ricky Desmond · (07-25-2013)

This list is the opinion of Ricky Desmond and not the XWF. This was published on the XWF website over the weekend.

10-6

Number 10: Urusla Areano.

Now I know what you're thinking. Ricky has put her here so that he can make kitchen jokes and sexist jokes because Ricky's sense of humour highly involved sexism. If you were thinking that, then you were largely right. You were also partially wrong. I don't think I have seen her do anything since she got here other than nag and whine like a typical house wife. The only thing she's missing from the typical house wife look and attitude is the fact she's not so keen to make me my preferred and requested Tuna Mayo sandwich like a good girl. Yes I am a sexist pig in case anybody didn't already realise. In all seriousness Ursula is terrible for her desperate attempt to arrive, point out the obvious and leave. Yep that's right, she's trying to be the female equivalent of Luca. The only problem is she tends to linger around for a little longer than Luca like a bad smell... more specifically like the bad smell between her legs. So my point being that in her desperate attempt to seem like she's being as witty as our great Luca Arzegotti, she's actually making herself look even more stupid than most women already are. What do you tell Ursula Areano when she has two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice. In all seriousness, Ursula.... best of luck to whoever decides to marry you if anyone ever does or already has if they're that damn stupid. Now where's my Tuna Mayo sandwich?

Number 9: Shawn Steele

It is obvious why Shawn Steele is included in this list. He boasts about a pathetic battle royal win against a bunch of nobody's when the fact is that nobody actually gives a flying fuck. He will lose to me on Madness, like he lost to John Austin two weeks, and like he will lose to any other Connection member he decides to put his grubby hands on in the future. Seriously though Shawn, you'll never be the man your mother was so you might as well quit while you're ahead. Although you are intimidating, I will give you that. You're also terrible. You're terrible because of your lack of charisma, your false claims of how good you are at business. I will give you one thing though, you're pretty damn good at getting yourself a spot on the card that you don't deserve. How are you competing with me near the end of the show when there are plenty of others who would be far more suitable, like any member of the Connection for example. You are boring Shawn, I would be grateful if you did what Griffin did and went flying into a lake please. Except I would prefer it if you didn't show up six months later. Griffin showing up does show what I have always said though... The ugly ones always show up alive. Sorry, going off topic here. Silly old me. My point is, Shawn you made the list for a reason, so please go and find some charisma please, there's a potato somewhere around here that holds more charisma than you. Just saying.

Number 8: Peter Gilmour

This is too easy. The guy's impressive. He's held many championships, mainly tag titles where he's been carried to the gold by his far superior partners but still... he's held championships which is more than I can say for most of the people on this list. The only problem is Gilmour, although you're a monster, you're sort of like the third wheel. Soldier and Poppa Feder are sort of like the Joey and the Chandler of Friends whilst you're the pathetic Ross Geller who is often the butt of the jokes but isn't really that funny. Of course you would be a mix of him and obese child Monica with the relevance of the coffee man in the background. Gunther? I can't remember something like that. It's like Godzilla and King Kong teaming up with Barney the Dinosaur. You're more cuddly than you are scary. I say cuddly, but I could be wrong. I feel like the most dangerous thing about you is the fact that it seems as though your stomach might consume me at any moment. Seriously it won't be long before you get objects orbiting you if you don't watch that waist line of yours Peter. Enough of the playful jokes when what I am trying to say is, cut out the creams cakes, eat some salad and chicken. Yum, chicken. Sorry, I distracted myself again... but anyway in short. You're terrible because some how, Poppa Feder and Unknown Soldier find the strength in their backs to carry you to glory. That's no easy task.

Number 7: The Crimson Knights

Yep, these two idiots come in at number 7 as a duo because they're just that damn boring and that damn terrible. Even if I had a broken neck I would put my body on the line to defend my titles, yet those two did not compete just because the doctors said that they couldn't. Boo hoo. Not only this but these two masked men haven't even been seen since Leap of Faith, did our little attack scare you boys. I'm sure KnightMask will answer that, of course as he is mute he will need the voice of the voiceless, CM Punk to speak for him. Wait what? CM Punk hasn't been seen for ages? My bad, I hardly noticed. Don't get me wrong, these two have accomplished a lot. They're terrible though because I do not see the thrill in watching a mute compete. Plus Crimson Cobra's disturbing return as a power ranger was enough for me to describe these former tag team champions as simply terrible. I'll be sure to send you some grapes, flowers and a card. Get well soon boys.

Number 6: Mr. Radio & Mr. Natural.

The XWF brought us Mr. Satellite, WWE brought us Mr. Kennedy, TNA brought us Mr. Anderson. Has anyone ever stopped and thought for a moment, actually... I could just use my actual name? I do not care if you are Mr. In fact I do not care if you are Mrs, which knowing Mr. Natural wouldn't exactly come as a surprise to most but I do not need this to be pointed out to me. I promise, I won't make any kitchen jokes about either of you so enough of the MR. Now, I know what you're going to ask, why isn't Mr. Satellite with them? Well that's simple, the guy holds a belt. The guy is also an alien who used to have one arm. Describing that as terrible would be a lie, although it is well and truly fucked up, it's actually quite entertaining and he's even won start of the month, so don't worry Satty, you have nothing to worry about. Radio and Natural on the other hand... I mean I'm going to assume that Natural and Radio are not your actual surnames and you for some reason want to cover up those actual names. Maybe it's because you're so damn terrible you don't want people to know who you actually are? It's hard to tell. Either way, a Radio is far inferior to another inanimate object the Television, so why not Mr. Television. Perhaps Radio, you could go and have a match wit 'The Table'? Mr. Natural has nothing natural about him. He lacks charisma, he lacks in ring ability and most of all he lacks relevance. It was a struggle searching through the roster to even work out who he was... Anyway you two are terrible and that's enough said.

I hope you have enjoyed the first part of the actual list. There's plenty more where that came from so get ready for the final 5 of the most terrible people in the XWF.

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode The List. 10-6. Check if you're that damn terrible.
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