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Stevie Tyler · (07-24-2013)

Most Likely

Stevie Tyler went about the next few hours after Gary left him feeling almost aimless. Which, wasn't a very new sensation for Stevie, quite frankly. Hell, that's how he'd spent the majority of his life. Gary possessing him gave Stevie the closest thing to a direction his life had ever had. Now that was gone.

He drove downtown and walked into the local general store where he picked up a few items, fumbled them around in his hands, completely absent-minded. He was looking past everything and everyone in the store. His thoughts were racing, but he couldn't focus on a single one. Again, nothing about that is particularly new. It was like his normal nothing state of being had been amplified.

He guessed he was hungry. He didn't feel it. He still felt a bit nauseous from the encounter with Gary at the radio station, but he knew he needed food. Stevie wandered outside and across Main St. to a local coffee shop that served something resembling lunch. The shop was under street level and he almost fell down the stairs heading as he tried to avoid running head first into two hipsters that were exiting. They looked at him with disgust.

"Was that a Def Leppard shirt? Seriously?" he heard one of them say as the other giggled. He walked in, and before even finding where the menu was, a tall, attractive, though, angry-looking woman greeted him. "Hi. Can I help you?"

Stevie hadn't had time to glance at a menu but he did pick up a few things. Notably, that there was mold growing behind the counter and no one seemed bothered. Already feeling sick, he grabbed the two pre-packaged items nearest him. A canned Coca-Cola and a banana. He handed the pretty, angry girl $2 and clumsily took a seat in the corner. It was then that it happened.

Stevie felt his silent phone vibrating in his pocket. His pants were at an odd angle, so it took him just a second too long to get it out. He glanced at the screen. It was Julie, but by the time he tried to answer, the call had gone to Stevie's voicemail. "Hello? Hello? Julie?" he said over and over, desperate to talk to her again.

Thankfully, she had left a message. He clicked through his menus, his old, brick of a phone was not very user-friendly, and retrieved it. "Stevie? This is Julie. Umm...I heard you on the radio this morning. I just wanted to say, I didn't know all that other stuff was going on with you with the demon and all. Give me a call back?"

For the first time all day, he felt something nice. Even though, really, that didn't say anything nice. It was, however a sliver of hope. Would it have been that easy to explain? Would she have believed him? Maybe, after hearing him puke all over The Rise Guys, she realized that's just a thing he did and he didn't mean to vomit gelatin all over her in their date. He called her right back and she answered almost immediately.

"Stevie?"

"Hey, I'm really sorry for..."

"No, Stevie. I should be sorry. I was really rude to you. I mean, it was gross and you are sort of a man-child, but I like that about you. You should have told me about the demon and the wrestling stuff. I had no idea."

"I didn't think you'd believe me."

"Ha! Are you serious? People get possessed all the time. It's totally normal for guys. Nothing at all to be ashamed of."

Was it really? Stevie had never heard of a real case of it happening to anyone else. He refused to question the accuracy of her statement aloud, though.

"Tell you what, Steviekins, I'll let you take me out again and I'll just be extra careful to get out of the way when I see that look in your eyes."

Stevie couldn't sit still in his seat. He was moving side to side and people were beginning to stare.

"Yeah YEAH! Alright! Maybe I could pick you up this time and...does Taco Bell sound good?"

"Sure does. Monday good for you?"

Stevie never kept a calendar and didn't care if he was on shift at Wal-Mart or not. He only kept the job for a sense of normalcy that could never be achieved again, anyway.

"Absolutely!"

They ended their conversation and he was elated. He'd totally forgotten the empty void that Gary had left. Stevie drove home found LJ sitting next to their shared computer. He averted his eyes from LJ out of habit. He'd walked in too many times on his internet shenanigans.

LJ was holding a piece of paper in his hands. "Dude, sorry about Gary."

How did LJ know? He hadn't told him yet.

"How do you know about that? I haven't even told you."

"Nib told me, bro." What? How? LJ, sensing that was what was going through Stevie's head, pointed with the paper to a swirling dark portal that had opened up in the closet where their washer/dryer combo machine was.

"Oh," Stevie said, without questioning.

"It smells like ass in there," LJ said. It really did. "Here's the thing, I already booted up the webcam and all. You still gotta' fight this Santos dude Wednesday with or without Gary. Way I see it, and Nib agrees, is that you gotta' put some fear into him. He can't know you're flyin' solo, bro. Nib and I wrote this for you. Just click the button to stream, and start reading."

LJ handed him the paper. They had prepared a promo. Stevie glanced over it a little. "No, no, no, dude. This will just piss him off and I've got no protection."

"Look, bro. You need to man up. I mean, I wouldn't want to do it either but there's a lot at stake here. Imagine you're you and you're back in junior high. You're this nerdy kid with dirty hair and you won't shut up about how cool Han Solo is and everybody loves Boba Fett for absolutely no reason, even though you and only 5 other kids knew who Boba Fett was. You didn't have a bunch of friends, much less a girlfriend, and got beat up everyday. Didn't even have lunch money to take. Just beat up for the sake of beating you up. Now, imagine you've got a hero, bro. Imagine there's somebody just like you, but grown and going into a wrestling ring and fighting to show kids like that that they can stand up. That they can be somebody. That's what you are to these kids. You can't give up just because you're scared. You have to do this."

Damn, he's good. Stevie slowly pulls the paper from his hands. LJ grins, and clicks to turn on the livestream. Stevie begins to sweat from his brow immediately as he reads.

"Tony Santos, you're going down, bro. This Wednesday, there's nobody to stand between us. Nobody else in this match. You won't be able to distract yourself with someone else. You won't be able to hide behind anybody else. You're going to be looking across the ring at 'No Relation' Stevie Tyler."

He looks over at LJ. "Really?" LJ motions to keep reading.

"You might be wearing my belt right now, but rest assured, it is mine, and it's coming home...bitch. You don't know who you're dealing with. I'm Stevie effin' Tyler and I'm the best around. Nothing, not even you will ever bring me down."

Stevie drops the paper to his lap and throws his head back. "Dammit, LJ! I'm not reading my own entrance theme lyrics!" LJ laughs, then whispers, "Go on, dude."

"You can't take me out, Santos. You can't beat me. You can't kill me. I am immortal, bro. I have inside me, blood of kings. I have no rival...LJ! I'M NOT DOING THIS! This is Highlander!" LJ, laughs again and starts flailing his arms for Stevie to continue.

"People are sayin' Stevie Tyler should still be Xtreme Champion because he never got pinned. Maybe they're right, maybe they're wrong. One thing's for certain, Tony. We're both extreme and there can be only one. DAMMIT!"

LJ cackles in the background as Stevie begins to foam at the mouth. His eyes are consumed by the familiar blackness that heralds the arrival of Gary.

Gary speaks through Stevie, "How great was that, bro!? That was classic!"

LJ high-fives the possessed Stevie. "I can't believe he did it!"

"Bro, my pants are wet. Did he...?" Gary feels his crotch. "HE DID! HE PISSED HIMSELF!" Gary shouts, both laughing hysterically with the camera still streaming. Gary realizes this and looks directly into the camera. All the laughing has ceased.

"Seriously, though. Tony? I'm going to break you in half, skin you, roast your meat over the fire, and wear your skin like a bathrobe. For the kids."

Gary leaves and Stevie, again, pukes all over the living room.

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