The shot opens in media res (look it up bitches, it’s not my fault you’re not literary) to a scene of frenetic action. It looks like Madison Dyson is practicing on some scrubs in a wrestling ring. And damn does she look good. Her moves are quick and crisp. Her strikes are hard hitting and snappy. It occurs to you that by God she is actually TRYING.

Finally, one of the scrubs hits the mat after an especially vicious knock to the head. Madison drags him over to the corner, where the bottom turnbuckle is exposed. She places him down on that unforgiving steel mouth first, and then with a run and a leap dropkicks him face first right into the turnbuckle. With an audible crack and a splash of blood, it becomes evident very quickly that the man’s jaw is broken as it hangs loosely off it’s hinge. He begins to roll around screaming.

With an imperious air, Madison claps and two of her eerie hooded cultist henchmen enter the ring and drag the poor bastard away. Then, turning to the other scrubs, she announces, I will need a fresh plebe! Set about finding me one at once! They all scatter at her order.

Madison then goes to the opposite turnbuckle, where a brilliant royal crown is waiting for her. She plants it on her head and sits on the top turnbuckle.

Let’s talk about Centurion. And no, we’re not going to talk about how old and farty he is. Even though he is old and farty. And no, we’re not going to talk about how dull and boring he is, even though he is dull and boring. Nah.

We’re gonna talk about how I beat his ass. No! We’re gonna talk about how I beat his ass after already beating three other guys asses.

Yes Cent, I BEAT YOU. And that stink is never coming off! EVER. And moreover, it wasn’t even that hard. I hit you with the Dead Bitch Walkin’ ONCE. That’s the move that I usually use to take out the glorified Barbie’s of the world like Atara Themis and Jenny Mysts, not the “LEGENDS” of the world.

But I guess I shouldn’t be that shocked, what with the petulant bitch fit you put on display leading up to the match. You spent your entire promo carping about a general manager like some geezer impotently raging at a grocery store self check out that he doesn’t understand. You showed your belly to the sky well before that bell rang. You say you’re one of the few guys who actually takes this shit seriously? Then why didn’t you step up to the challenge like a man rather than some neutered beta grousing about how unfair his boss is? Christ Cent, you SUCK.

Madison shifts her weight on the top turnbuckle, crossing her legs and wearing that trademark sneer.

And you know what the absolute best part of that rant was? How highly Cent thought of himself. Rattling off those big money names of potential challengers like any of that had a chance in hell of happening. Like any of those people would CARE about Centurion in 2023. Where was SEB? Where was James Raven, or Steve Jason, or Maverick? Answer: Not giving three shits about Centurion. And why would they? You washed up HAAAAAAACK. She really puts her throat into it Jim Caedus style. 

See, you thought YOU would be the divine savior of Anarchy. But it’s not you. It’s ME. Oh sure, I had a little setback with Sean Parker, but did you catch how much more dominant I was in that match than either one of you? FOUR ELIMINATIONS. One of them being the current champion. Hell, by all rights I should BE the champion right now. But I’m not gonna bitch about it like a certain over the hill fuccboi. In fact, I’m going to RELISH rectifying the mistake that is Sean Parker’s Anarchy title reign at Free For All. And I’m going to do it with a style and panache you could not hope to achieve. 

Madison hops down from the turnbuckle and plucks the crown off her head. She holds it out to the side as she continues.

The last time I truly cared I became Queen of the XWF. Rumor has it some other schlubs won this accolade after me. But that doesn’t matter one damn bit to me. To my mind, I never stopped being the XWF’s queen. And considering that Sarah Lacklan and Sidney Grey are both AWOL, I have every RIGHT to call myself the Queen.

So Centy, I want you to get thinkin’ real hard about how you’re going to handle losing to the Queen again. I want you to consider just how the hell you’re going to live that down, dropping a deuce to a woman who hasn’t even been an active competitor in three years. Oh yeah daddy, I think “droppin’ a deuce” is precisely the right parlance for what Centurion’s gonna show the world at Anarchy this week. Better stock up on Depends you stank old fuck, because I’m gonna beat you until you vomit out your asshole.

#MamaCares people. And a Madison who cares is a very dangerous Madison indeed.

She turns to her cultists. NOW WHERE IS MY NEXT PLEBE?

Madison, I was successful! A voice calls out and Madison turns to it. It’s her HFIC Milo Yiannopoulous. Milo holds up a jar which contains a single crinkly hair as he rushes to the ring.

Careful you idiot, don’t drop it! As Milo gets in the ring Madison snatches it from him. Was it easy to obtain?

Too easy! That guy must have an old growth forest down there.

Mmmmmm….excellent. We’ll start the project at once. She turns the jar around as she considers the contents, revealing a label on the front that reads ....

Sean Parker’s Pube.