The video opens with the bold text "XWF Anarchy: The Arrival of Dick Drizzle" splashed across the screen amidst a rousing, old-school rock tune. Cut to Dick Drizzle, standing tall, albeit with a slight hunch due to his age, against a backdrop of a lively bar scene.

"Oh, the young buds of XWF, you're in for a wild ride! Woooo! You see, the name’s Dick Drizzle, and I know some of you are thinking that I look a little old to be starting my professional wrestling career. I'm 78, baby, WOOOO!"

Dick shuffles his feet and spins about face. It's not that impressive, but he is 78.

"They say age is a barrier, but to me, it's just a number that I toss out the window each morning as I guzzle down my elixir of life... tigers blood! Oh yeah, Charlie Sheen was onto something until he quit the nectar cold turkey, and look how that turned out for him! WOOOOOOO!"

He chuckles, then turns serious.

"When I sat down with Jett Sterling to ink my contract, oh boy, the concern in his eyes about my age was evident to everyone in the room, brother. But let me tell you, Jett, and let me tell the world, there ain’t a wrinkle on my body that wasn't earned brawling it out with some of the toughest sons of bitches, and couldn't a single wrestler in this company hold a candle to half the men I've put away, because when it comes to fighting, I'm a NATURAL, baby, WOOOO!"

Drizzle pounds his chest for emphasis, his face turns red from the effort, but he laughs it off.

"I told Jett, loud and clear, that I feel better than ever, ready to run circles around these greenhorns in the XWF locker room! Experience trounces youthful folly every day of the week and twice on Thursday, WOOOO! WOO WOO WOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

"You best believe that this old lion still has a lethal bite!"

He holds up a bottle labeled "Tiger's Blood," takes a swig, and tosses it off-screen.

"So, to every budding, burgeoning, bewildered wrestler over there on Anarchy, brace yourselves... because you might have seen champions, but you ain't ever seen anything like 'The Natural' Dick Drizzle! WOOO!"

"HGH, Mastermind, you two might've been the giants of Anarchy in the past, but even the tallest trees fall with the right swing. I've got my axe sharpened, and I'm itching to give you two a good ol' chop down to size."

"And as for you, EDWARD, you say you're the strongest warrior. Well, brother, strength might win battles, but cunning wins the war. You might be the muscle, but I've been in more brawls than you've had hot dinners. WOOO!"

"You ALL are about to find out why they say Dick Drizzle's the dirtiest fighter on the field. So, to all the wannabe tough guys on Anarchy, I’ve got a playbook of tricks that’ll send the lot of you scurrying back to obscurity. When Dick Drizzle steps into that ring, it's going to be a lesson in survival... of the dirtiest! WOOO!"

The screen transitions to the text "Natural Dick Drizzle” before fading out.

An old, drunk, washed out Nature Boy wannabe? Mother fucker stole my gimmick!

"Oh, the gall of Centurion, daring to compare himself to the show-stealing, jive-walking, danger-talking phenomenon that is Dick Drizzle! Cent, when you opened that gap of yours, I had to stop and wonder, "Who in the Hell is this dime-a-dozen dullard?" Now, lo and behold, it turns out you’re not just any curtain jerking pissbaby, but a self-proclaimed ‘legend’ of the XWF. Hilarious!"

"Now, I may be 78, Cent, but while you were mastering the art of the snooze-fest, I was painting the town red night after spirited night, brother. Every dusk was a canvas, and oh, the stories those dawns could tell! WOOOO!"

"Now, you step into my world of glitz, hoping a smidgen of that Dick Drizzle dazzle rubs off on you. But let me tell you, Cent, it takes more than a pair of well aged boots to dance through life with the panache of Dick Drizzle. WOOOO!"

"Let’s get something straight right now, Cent. You see, every Tom, Dick, and Harry may age, and sure, most might find solace in a bottle, but what separates the men from the boys, the icons from the imitations, and ME from YOU, is the rhythm in our bones, the fire in our souls! While you’ve been playing house in your cozy cabin, I’ve been jukin', jiving, fighting and thriving in the real world, basking in the glory of the night and bathing in the fury of the fight. It’s a dance you couldn’t keep up with even in your prime, brother! WOOOOO!"

"Now, onto your invitation for a duel, and make no mistake, brother, that's exactly what it is."

"Cent, you see when you threw that challenge my way, you didn’t just call out any old fossil from some bygone era, you called out 'The Natural', Dick Drizzle. I’m Goddamned natural at everything I do, especially when it comes to fighting and f***ing! I'm that wild eyed son of a gun who’s been knocking ‘em dead on the dance floor and behind the building, way before you had a whim to step into this ring!"

"You claim I stole your gimmick? Brother that's just another difference between you and me, for me it's NOT a gimmick, it's a lifestyle! WOOOOO!"

"You can talk a big game, Cent, but when it's time to put on a show, will you step up or step aside? Remember, there's a world of difference between acting the part and being the real deal. WOOOO!"

"Cent, here's the real deal: On October 26th, I'm going to strut down that aisle, flashing every ounce of flair I've got, making the entire XWF universe wonder why they ever settled for anything less than 'The Natural'"

"Now, you've got a choice. Will you muster the courage to face me in the ring, or will you retreat to that secluded cabin of yours, drowning your fears in cheap liquor, instead of embracing that fire and wielding it like a man inside of that ring?"

"I know where I'll be, baby! WOOOO!"

"So the ultimate question, Cent: Will 'The Natur-Rawl' notch his first XWF win against a so-called 'legend', or will I be handed an easy victory because some washed-up has-been decided to no-show? Your move, champ."

With a final defiant “WOOOOO”, 'The Natural' Dick Drizzle struts off the set, the screen fading to black with the details of 'The Natural' Dick Drizzle's challenge:

Fuck it, I'm free that week. You wanna strut? Let's strut.