Hello everybody my name is Roger and i want to send a bit of a thumbs up to my new friend Molly the Barnes because she and i had a bit of a wrestle and even though she was victorious she was quite lovely about the whole ordeal and by bombing me with the northern lights like she did when she used her devastating world famous manoeuvre the stormer of barnes on me she found the secret to making sure the mindmaster couldn't master my mind and so even though i lost the battle i have learned a valuable lesson in neuroscience and trickery that i will now use to once and for all stop the mindmaster from doing the evil handiwork of that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

I know that must come as a surprise to you all that the mindmaster is doing the bidding of the most scandalous mind in the western U-S-of-A and sometimes foggy london where i lay my weary head when i am not having a wrestle in another country or at my mum's house having a wash of my laundry has ever seen but hear me out here because at first i had thought the alphabet man and the latina submarine machine were that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt's little footsoldiers that i must destroy and they still might be because they like to gang up like bad guys do in the pictures that my nemesis is so famous from but the mindmaster has lots of henchmen of his own and he spent a whole lot of time two weeks ago introducing a new man of hench and that new one has a suitably silly name calles victor the judge mental and i feel like i must have messed that name up because it sounds so dumb but i actually don't think i have messed it up you can't make this baloney up but that name isn't intimidating at all not like Molly the Barnes is because a girl named Molly who was humongous used to trap me behind the big oak tree next to the drinking fountains at my school and give me kisses and it was terrifying and therefore because the mindmaster has his own henchmen it would make a lot of sense for that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt to pay him with all of the millions he has made prostituting his morals and holes out in hollywood to use the henchmen for him and that would make the mindmaster just a middle man in the supervillain world and let's face it after one hundred career losses that makes a lot of sense.

So now my challenge is to combine the practical wizardry of Molly the Barnes in preventing my mind from being mastered by dropping me on my head alongside the mystical wisdom of my other new friend who doesn't have the same name as somebody who used to give me kisses behind the oak tree next to the drinking fountains at my school but who is pretty humongous in his own right and his name is Prince Ibrahim of Niger who has moved off my couch and has a place of his own in foggy london now because he knows it's important to show growth as a person and not do the same silly thing with the same silly people that leads you to having a lose of one hundred wrestles or being exiled from your country under threat of being fed to a cheetah who is as fast as lightning.

The majestic Prince Ibrahim suggested that in order to murder the mindmaster and save my gorgeous rabbit Elmer and bring peace to the galaxy in doing so that i could trick him with some more classic riddles so i had a wee bit of a google on the computer at the local library here in foggy london and i asked the google to show me top notch riddles and the first one it showed me was 'what goes up and down stairs but never moves?' and i had to have a cheat of the answer because i didn't know and the answer was carpet which doesn't make much sense because even the stairs that i have a carry of my laundry down at my sweet sweet mum's house doesn't have carpet on them she has carpet on half of her walls do if ever there was a person who would put carpet up and down her stairs it would be her but she doesn't and they are wooden so i didn't get the riddle and maybe the mindmaster wouldn't either so i think i will start by taking a page out of my hero Molly the Barnes's book and drop myself on the head instead of giving the mindmaster a cunning riddle and so i have learned a new move where once i have fooled the mindmaster into falling over i will drop my head on him like Molly the Barnes dropped my head on the ground and that will cause him to be stunned long enough for me to fulfil the rest of my good pal Prince Ibrahim of glorious Niger's requests and cut the mindmaster's head off and absorb his mind mastery powers like that movie whose name is Highlander that that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt wishes he was talented enough to have starred in and also learn the secret location of where the mindmaster's boss is located with the ashes of my lovely sweetheart Elmer.

So now i have a genius plan to rid this world of the mindmaster's evil influence and get one step closer to sweet sweet victory against that bitch Joseph Gordon-Levitt and if you don't believe me then you are a liar and a ratbag so with that please allow me to say thank you for listening to tale.