The inappropriate free Candy van pulls into a seemingly empty parking lot in the industrial part of town by a Restaurant. Frank looks at Alex annoyed.

You're wrestling in California this week. Surely there was a Nambla meeting closer then Sandusky, Ohio?

It's the principle of the matter..

Alex gestures towards the restaurant, The Hanging Lo Mein.

As the world's greater defender and afficionado of the Chinese Buffet I am offended by the fact that perverts have corrupted the bastion of my eating experience! I am here to forever liberate the All You Can Eat Buffet from whatever kind of all you can eating these perverts do.

That's overly dramatic.

Alex sighs.

Just get in the sack.

With that we see Alex Richards approaching holding a large potato sack in one hand. A large doorman stands in the entryway.

What is your business here?

As per my agreement with Deviance.. I'm delivering a child to NAMBLA... So I'm making sure you get exactly what you deserve...

The bodyguard wrinkles his nose.

Deviance? That guy is kinda freaky.

Just to make sure.. this is the North American Man Boy Love Association correct?

The bodyguard looks suspicious.

What's the password?

We only serve cream of sum yung guy here.

Correct. You may proceed.

Alex sets the bag down looking puzzled.

That's actually the password? I just made that up and then I was going to beat your ass and waltz right in. You're messing with my plan...

You seriously just said that?

What are you gonna do about it?

The bodyguard smiles and produces a taser. He advances, only to have the smile knocked off his face with a series of sloppy superkicks to the nads, then a taser to the balls.

That wasn't part of the plan.

I got bored listening to you talk. Besides I kicked that guy's ass at least as well as you could have.

Is that so...

Alex picks the large bodyguard up with one hand, stuffs him into the sack... proceeds to fire him down a set of cement steps as hard as possible. The bag quickly starts to turn a shade of red.

For one.. you could have gotten hurt.

Frank scoffs.

That guy posed no threat.

I mean you're not wrong. But seriously stick to the plan. You technically entered the building so we're already up a cool 100,000.

You need me. You need someone to shoot the snuff video.

There's no chance I'm letting you shoot that.  That's what the tripod is for. Go back to the van and I'll be out in a sec.

Alex reaches into his doctor's bag and pulls out a small video camera and starts set up the tripod. This allows Frank to snatch the camera and rush into the building screaming I'm an unaccompanied minor!

Fucking kids never listen.

Alex runs after his stepson but 6 of the guys who looks like extras from the Lonely Islands The Creep music video have cornered Frank.

I get first dibs!

Why don't we all go at once?

The creepy pedos argue among themselves as Alex grabs a chair from one of the restaurant tables and starts swinging. He grabs one guy by the throat and drives the chair into his throat and then into the wall in one motion. A second man tries to run but finds himself driven head first into a aquarium leaving him in a mess of koi and blood. Two more try to run only to be taken out with an impromptu drop toehold onto a solid wooden table. Which Alex then shattered driving a third man headfirst through the table and his two co-perverts. Alex looks at the final men who's begging for mercy. Frank intervenes.

Remember the 50 bucks.

Alex grins.

It's actually 49.99 but every little bit counts. Look away though.

Frank actually listens pointing the camera and turning his head.. Alex reaches into his doctor's bag pulling out the bottle of Aunt Jemina and shoving it up the creep's ass..

How did you know I would like that?

Alex shakes his head and finishes the guy off with a vicious sanity slip onto the buffet hotplates closing the place down for good.

Next we see Alex back inside of the garbage bag palace of Deviance who does not look happy in the slightest.

I refuse to pay! You did nothing I asked! You were supposed to hand over an innocent child to Nambla! You were supposed to star in a snuff video by dying! You were supposed to stuff that bottle up your own ass!

I did everything you asked.. technically. Not my fault I'm smarter then you. Now you have this outstanding balance of $200, 049.99.

You can shove that bill up your ass.

I don't think so. You might notice a slight smell of gas. I didn't fart that's actual fuel covering this shithole. Now about my money.

Fuck you! Fine take it! But this isn't over Dick!

Deviance reaches into a trash bag pulling out gross soiled money and tosses it at Alex who scoops up the cash stuffs it into his doctor's bag only to have a flaming bottle rocket smash against the house engulfing it in flames.

I really didn't want to do this.

Alex picks up Deviance tossing him through the flaming trash then following behind. Deviance runs away cursing as Alex looks at Frank with annoyance.

You weren't actually supposed to...

You're telling me he didn't deserve that?

I was inside!

With all the times you told me you were gonna live to 105 I had to make sure you weren't bullshitting..

Alex grins.

You sure you aren't actually my kid? You coulda warned me though. I had to save Deviance to escape..

My bad.

Your bottle rockets are improving

Later Alex sits at an actual good Chinese buffet restaurant big plate of MSG laced food, big boot of alcohol big smile on his face.

You know Deviance made the same mistake Angie Vaughn did. He made a plan without bothering to think about what I'm capable of. He didn't think of how I was going to use his words to my advantage. Neither did Angie. She just thought heck in a sec sounds good. Which admittedly it does. But she never stopped to think about what that really meant for the match. She doesn't even have an excuse for that either. Angie according to what you say last week you're apparently been spending the last almost two months obsessing over the fact that I said you were the weak link in your team with Sarah. Totally normal behavior.

Alex shakes his head no repeatedly.

What's really strange in that in spite of the fact you let a total stranger you had only ever faced in one match completely get into your head you also never actually formulated a plan for revenge. In any way. At all. That has to be the case right? Why else would you have wasted your stipulation choice as champion on a heck in a sec match? Besides the fact you appear to be a giant hypocrite after you accuse me of judging a book by it's cover when you then don't bother to learn a single thing about me. I mean I'm not complaining. It's just going to ensure this television title match is going in my favor. But if you ever want to live up to your potential Angie you really should work on being less impulsive, less angry, and more cerebral. I mean I'm the doctor of mass confusion, i drink from a boot, I once created a championship out of an old abandoned hubcap and I easily got into your head and threw you completely off your game almost by accident.

Alex shrugs.

I hate to state the obvious but it appears you have forgotten this. Among other things but we'll get to that later. I am literally three times your size. No problem that means you're faster then me and you can use your speed to wear me down. One problem though.. I'm a 325 pound powerhouse who can moonsault like a motherfucker. I'm no slow superheavyweight. But still you're faster then me so that should help you. Unless of course you were stupid enough to pick a stipulation where you lock yourself inside of a steel cage or something to limit your mobility. But why what anyone do that? You'd have to be mighty stupid to do that to yourself now wouldn't you? But let's assume for some reason you decided to eat paint chips and did exactly that. Hey it happens to the best of us.. and the ketchup flavored paint chips are hard to resist after all. You would still have stamina and cardio on your side.

Alex raises an eyebrow.

Unless of course you decided to add another stipulation where you only require a one count to win. But nobody could possibly be that stupid. That's like I got a tattoo of Donald Trump riding an American flag colored unicorn level of stupid right there. That's strapping yourself to the outside of the Mars Rover naked level of stupid. We're talking literal career suicide levels of stupid. I know you remember this because you brought it up but do you remember when I picked you and your partner up? Almost manhandling both of you at the same time? Do you think for one second I couldn't have slammed you? For bonus points do you think for one second if i hurl you to the mat I can't pin you for one second? Let me count just some of the ways you could be boned in this match. I bearhug you drag you down with myself on top. That's a one count. I grab onto the cell so you can't pull me down shove you to the mat with my other hand then sit on you. That's a one count. I shoulderblock you coming off the ropes then drop down on top of you. Guess what? That's a one count too.

Alex almost chuckles.

You know why I used those examples? They involve none of my devastating moves. That's just shit I can casually do without thought. Those are basic moves that my size alone practically guarantees a one count. If I hit you with any of my actual high impact moves there's zero doubt I'll be getting a one count. For you to beat me you have to nail the VAUGHNEMOUS. Because even any of your other standing kicks, I catch the scissor kick or the bicycle kick and I toss you to the mat and hop on top. Yet another one count! Of course I do have to factor in the fact that you're a submission expert.

This time Alex can't even hold back the laughter.

You outlawed submissions? You seriously outlawed submissions? Yeah.. I can see how when you're facing a powerhouse who wants to batter you with vicious strikes and toss you around the ring with suplexes and throws you wouldn't want submissions to get in the way of...  What? Now you can't even escape a suplex and steal the win with a rear naked choke or something. Of course that's your trap. But I'm way ahead of you. You were thinking that by pointing out submissions don't count that I would forget the fact you could still try and choke me out and then get the pin. I won't overlook your submission game and since that  was still your best chance of victory where does that leave you now? One more problem though. If for just one second I shift my position while you're choking me.. then I have won the match because that's a one count.

Alex looks serious for a minute.

Although maybe you're known for your hardcore tactics. I am a former WCF hardcore champion and was the victor in the only ever known Hollywood Death match after using a chainsaw, a van, a ladder, several flaming tables and...

Alex holds up his hands.

Sorry if I sound like I'm bragging. It's possible you never would have known that Angelica. But why would you pick a match where there's no rules when you're facing someone who's tag team partner has always been known as the hardcore maniac? Unless of course you're a badass hardcore wrestler who lives for this shit. Someone who is literally going to set all the other rules in my favor because the fact it's a hardcore match is the only thing that matters. Angelica is a truly bloodthirsty demon who is going to leave me unconscious in a pool of my own blood, perhaps with barbed wire wrapped around my neck.

Alex stops.

Except that you admit that you're not vengeful or mean spirited. You don't like to use weapons. I wasn't going to cheat against you Angie. You did nothing to deserve that. But now if I have to pick up a steel chair and batter you to score the pin, or even toss you off the top of that famed cell like so many have before... I'm doing it all according to the rules. Just one more advantage you have swung my way. But look on the bright side.

Alex pauses for dramatic effect.

Without me perhaps you never would have gotten the motivation you needed in order to win the television title. Nobody will ever be able to say you're weaker then Sarah Lacklin again. Also I'm moving out. I will no longer be living rent free in your head. In fact I'm no freeloader just tell me what I owe you for living up there and I'll gladly pay it to you. But be warned I'm paying in dollar bills and stapling them all to your face because that's the nature of the bargain you forged yourself. I'm moving out of your head but I'm taking the television title with me and because of your own rules there ain't going to be much that you can do to stop me.

Alex looks at his kung pow chicken for a second then raises his head with a look of almost admiration.

You know Angie picking that stipulation does show you have a warrior's spirit. You have my respect and you are going to be able to bounce back from this defeat. But next time Angie, don't be stupid. Play to your strengths and not your opponents. You could dismiss these words but it would be foolish to do so. I may be new to XWF but I am far from new to wrestling. This is my 5th match here and it's about to be my first championship. Of course you may be able to ignore my words but my actions are going to speak louder once they are imprinted on your body. I have no ill will for you Vaughn but you underestimated my abilities and unfortunately that means you are going to have to pay the price when we step inside that cell.

Alex stops then shakes his head with probable mock regret.

I do have to admit to being upset about one thing. You had the nerve to talk about how I had no knowledge of anything that happened before three weeks ago then you talked about defending the tag titles against Jay and myself. Only one problem you lost those titles on March 26th. 1 month before I signed a contract in the XWF. Maybe you just wanted to use the words taggie team a lot, although I dunno why. Perhaps I'm some kind of accidental genius where I have you so shook you can't even focus on your own history, in addition to making horrible match making mistakes. But my conscience wouldn't be clear if I didn't advise you to get yourself a CAT scan. I'm practically a doctor and it certainly seems like you have a concussion.

Alex chuckles again.

I mostly just want to give you the option of bowing out, forfieting the title and saving yourself a beating. Of course then I'd know that my respect for you was misplaced but if you don't give people options under pressure you don't really know who they truly are. See? I may be a free spirit, I may be a hard partier, but my success is far from a fluke. I work at this shit harder then anyone else you know. I'm always looking for an edge and if you don't give me one I'll take it. But word to the wise as the doctor of mass confusion I don't think it's brain damage it's your subconscious giving you some delusions of grandeur. See deep down you know that you are about to be another short lived television champion. So why not try and add another taggie team title defense to the memories of your fan's memories.

I still have to wonder though. How did I get under your skin so deeply? Then I realized the truth. You look at me and see a version of yourself further along in their career. So you picked this match because you deep you knew that the match didn't matter. The result was going to be the same no matter what stipulation you chose. After all Angelica it took you a year and a half on the XWF roster to win your first singles championship and this is barely two months after my debut. Well heck indeed Angelica. I see you run down my lack of success so far in a way that almost seemed like jealousy. Like you know that I am soon going to pass you by. If you take nothing else from this match Angie remember this.. this absolute confidence I have in myself.. that's the key to success. Believe in yourself and you can accomplish anything. Well except for winning heck in a sec. Everything has limitations you know. It's only gonna take a sec for confusion to reign.