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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Leap of Faith (July 13th) PPV RP Archive
Why I'm the king
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John Msdison 2.Faggot
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#1
07-12-2013, 02:48 PM

So earlier today me and Luca Arzegotti were browsing the XWF website, searching for videos of myself being the King of the XWF. We were just browsing through videos when we happened to stumble across a video that looked out of place. A video which seemed completely unrelated to my illustrious career. The video consisted of a back and forth exchange involving Dwight Howard and Mister Mystery. So I thought to myself,

"Why the fuck am I in a series of video promos which I had nothing to do with? Surely Dwight Howard isn't challenging me to a pick up game."

I was intrigued so I had Luca double click the video link. He told me that you don't need to double click a link that's on the internet, but I grabbed him by the neck and screamed,

"I SAID DOUBLE CLICK IT!"

So Luca rolled his eyes and double clicked the link. He better not roll his eyes when I tell him to lay down for the pin on Saturday. We wait for this shitty video to load. I'm losing my patience so I begin to smack Luca on the back of his head. He tells me that the video is "buffering" or some shit. Well, after waiting ten minutes, the video stops buffering and just goes to some stupid error page. I call up Shane and tell him:

"SHANE, FIX THE FUCKING WEBSITE!"

He apologizes and tells me that the web host took down the website because Peter Gilmour was cutting promos that were considered too XTREEEEEEME. But he tells me that the website should be back up and running in no time.

Fifteen minutes later, me and Luca are logged back on. He's still double clicking against his will as I hold my Glock to the back of his head. I make him load that video with Dwight Howard which happened to pop up when we searched my name as a keyword.

So I sit through about ten minutes of pure shit when all of a sudden, look who's there to drop my name into the discussion.

Sid Feder's dumbass father, Mister Mystery!

It's like this guy has nothing better to do than to talk about John Madison everywhere he goes, and why? He has nothing to brag about! I even watched a promo of him bragging about how he "ran through me."

"Haha! This guy still holding me to the Trio match at Gauntlet City? Goddamn, do I really need to explain to him-- oh fuck it. Let's just get this over with."

Seriously, Mystery? Are you really going to continue to brag about what went down at Gauntlet City? Don't get me wrong, you can brag about it all you want, but it's becoming difficult to watch you. I start to feel embarrassed for you every time you try to bring up what went down at Gauntlet City. Have you even thought about what actually went down at Gauntlet City?

You lost, man.

I mean, so did I, but I made up for it later in the night despite that brutal beating I took. I shook off that petty six man tag loss and carried myself to the big battle-- the only one that mattered. I proved that I really am all about getting shit done on my own and when it counts. I never should have trusted that fucking Nazi or that fucking Angel of Darkness. Look at those two idiots now. I made the right call by dismissing them from my The Black Circle.

I didn't even realize it at the time, but it turns out, the Trios Title match was just a little warm up for me. A stretch, a light jog, a way to get the oxygen flowing-- however you want to look at it. Now, I know you don't want to hear me tell you that I shrugged off that Trio Titles match and treated it like a warm up. But the thing is, it was just an unintended warm up. And I'll tell you that it was a warm up and you'll believe it to be true because I did go on to win the King of the XWF championship. That alone is proof of what I am telling you. Had I gotten my ass handed to me and failed in the gauntlet, then yeah, I would be way out of line trying to claim that the six-man was just a warm up match.

There just isn't any other way it couldn't have been a warm up match if we go off of what went down at the Pay-Per-View.

Like I said before, on that Pay-Per-View I was branded like a disgusting farm animal and had a staple put into my forehead. I had Flo's picture stapled into my head and literally had to carry the name "Feder" on my back for the rest of the night. I believe Peter Gilmour even had the nerve to put his foot onto my sternum as if his lifelong dream of beating John Madison had finally come true. I could have been crushed by the weight of that fat man, let me tell ya'. And you know what? Those three things don't even cover all of what I was put through.

In fact, let's recap what all I was put through in that one battle:

1.) Being put at a disadvantage by having to fight off Soldier, Mistery, and Sid Feder interference on my own.

2.) Flo's picture being stapled into my forehead.

3.) Soldier's fireball being launched into my face. Need I remind you that Unknown Soldier claims to have connections with Satan, so this could have been legitimate hell fire for all we know.

4.) Being marked by Sid Feder and his branding iron. It wasn't just some little symbol either. The man branded an entire fucking sentence along with arrows. If you want a small sample of what this felt like, go home, turn on your stove, and lay on top of it.

5.) Enduring my first ever loss in a six-man tag setting. This wasn't such a big deal to me. But to all your ordinary athletes out there, imagine having to watch a team that you put together yourself getting wiped out on the court after months of vigorous training.

6.) Peter's fat ass standing on top of me. What else needs to be said here? As if having someone else's name burned into my flesh and having my face scorched by Satan's fireball wasn't enough, I had to endure Peter Gilmour running over to me like I was a grilled cheese burger. He put his foot on me and acted as though he defeated me!

What a horrible night, right? Surely I'm humiliated and beaten to the point of no recovery. But as well saw, I'm no ordinary athlete.

You see, after all of that abuse, I got up, dusted myself off, and won the King of the XWF crown.

Did I lose to an old ass man? Yes, I lost to Unknown Soldier along with an old ass man just as Sid Feder lost to John Madison along with a rookie ass Benjamin Crane.

The difference between me losing to Mystery and Sid losing to Crane?

I came back and beat Mystery for the top title, in the top match that headlined the show.

What did Sid do after falling on his ass? He packed his bags and went home while I went on to do great things.

So yes, let the record books show that I failed miserably at capturing the XWF Trio Titles. In fact, let's look back at that six-man match and remember how brutally beaten I was after that skirmish. It was like I had marched an underprepared legion into a slaughter; an uphill battle that me and my men simply could not win. We were overpowered by our enemies and defeated on the battlefield! There I was, a young captain, with arrows protruding from my chest, riding away on my horse while the Feders ravaged what was left of my army. They laughed it up at my weak attempt as I narrowly escaped their capture. They took me losing a battle as a sign of weakness and made the foolish mistake of letting me retreat.

They let me get away, and as we all know, that turned out to be a huge mistake on their part.

They let me regain my strength so that I could come back, stronger, and claim what was rightfully mine. The Feder army thought they had demoralized me with their ruthless tactics, but instead they only strengthened me.

People say this a lot when they get beaten. They say that even though they lost badly, they learned from it and that they'll come back as a better competitor than before. They say it and we all know it's bullshit because that same guy ends up choking again.

But I didn't. I'm the one guy who does manage to bounce back stronger than before. That isn't just me talking trash, that's me telling you the truth. Let's face it, I should have been humiliated and hung out to dry at Gauntlet City. Theoretically, I should have been just another number in that gauntlet. Maybe-- just MAYBE-- I should have squeaked by with a victory or two in the gauntlet and then, theoretically, I would have been eliminated.

But that didn't happen, did it?

No. I ended up winning the whole fucking thing and everyone hated me for it. I picked my ass up and beat an entire wrestling federation after having Peter Gilmour wipe his boots off on my chest. Who else can say that in one night they took a loss to an eighty year old man and Peter Gilmour, and then went on to win the top championship in the company?

Not Flynn, not Nero, not Samuels, not Soldier. Not anyone.

Do I carry the branding job on my back to this day? Yes, I wear it along with many other scars.

Perhaps I should seek out revenge?

Maybe I'll just take a hot branding iron of my own, sneak attack Sid Feder and brand him with:

HAIL KING MADISON
HAIL KING MADISON
HAIL KING MADISON


Ah yes, then I would have retaliated for the Feder's wrongdoings right?

Wrong. Hah, you guys are so far behind me.

For once, take your eyes off of the little details and focus on the big fucking picture. My retaliation has nothing to do with revenge attacks with branding irons. My retaliation was much sweeter when I grabbed onto that crown and waved it in everyone's faces.

The fact of the matter is, I don't need to acquire vengeance for what those pesky Feders did to me.

At Gauntlet City, I simply laced up my boots, and went back out to the ring to claim what I knew was rightfully mine. The Feders burned down a small village while I took over the castle all on my own.

All of this is just another reason why Luca Arzegotti is in the main event and they are not. Seriously, what are the Feders up to these days?

Sid Feder is just Paul Heyman's tool along with Sebastian Duke. He's out there on Saturday as Heyman's tool to try to pester John Madison and Luca Arzegotti. Wow, Sid, you just keep sinking lower and lower. I was gong to offer to let you carry my bags since Luca just got promoted, but I don't think you're even worthy of that position.

Yes, folks. I got my revenge a long time ago. Now I'm on top, and life couldn't get any better for me.

I get to sit at home, use Flo as my personal splooge bucket, and send Luca out to fight for me. I make more money than anyone in this company and I only work four times out of the year. I get perks in my contract such as private jets, Shane 's office, and a company prostitute. I sit on my drunken ass and watch my career get taken to the next level without me even lifting a finger.

How hard did you guys work these past three months?

Hmm? Go ahead and tell me Satellite, Gilmour, Moxley, and whoever the fuck else fights for free every week.

You know how many matches I've been in ever since Gauntlet City back in March?

ZERO.

Fucking zero.

It's amazing, isn't it? I'm on top of the world with very little effort, resting my feet on all of your backs. You boys climb to reach that top spot; that main event match. I simply take one step forward and I'm in it.

Why?

Because Peter Gilmour is fat?

Because Sid Feder is spineless?

Because Mark Flynn is unmotivated?

Ah sure. Those are all fine reasons. But there's one reason that stands out among all of those as being the most important:

Because thanks to me, Luca Azregotti is the best trained wrestler in this company and none of you could beat him. Luca was my big move, and all of you failed.

And now, me and my apprentice go on to celebrate at Leap of Faith.
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