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Buster Gloves · (02-01-2023)

THE SECRET OF THE OOZE – PART ONE

Hi. My name is Buster. I’m a wrestler. And I’m part of an elite team of super good guys known simply as SAGA. You could say that I’m kind of the black sheep of the group. Always on the outside looking in. I let my emotions get the best of me. And they have kept my existence secret for a while. But there’s no hiding it now. Here I am. I’m proud to be a member of the family.

One of the biggest challenges I face is being overshadowed by stablemates. They’re better looking, smarter, better leaders. They’re also better informed. So, when our long-lost friend, Thaddeus Duke returned to the family, I was the last one to know about it. Maybe that’s for the best though, because me and Thad have a history of not being able to get along. Like a glass of wine and a shot of milk.

Thad went away for a while, but he’s back now. I want to tell you the story of what made Lionheart Thaddeus Duke leave CCPE to come back to Theo Pryce and the rest of SAGA. Only I don’t know all the details myself. So, for the sake of entertainment. I’ll retell the story the way I like to think it went down, and you can draw your own conclusions about the truth of how it actually happened.

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Let me set the scene for you. New York City. 2023. 9:44 on a Tuesday Morning.

Theo Pryce is typing away on his laptop, conjuring up dank memes and crafting epic shit posts to damage Chris Page’s ego. Clean shaven and wrapped in a cardigan sweater, he’s surrounded by the warmth and smell of freshly brewed coffee. He sits in a booth near the middle of a Caribou Coffee. For the last 20 minutes he’s been watching a woman breastfeed at a table nearby. He takes a short sip of his mud flavored water and almost spit takes when his phone suddenly rings to life. ‘Call Me Maybe’ as sang by Carly Rae Jepsen is the song. He quickly diverts his male gaze to his overpriced mobile device and sees a familiar name that he hadn't seen in a while. A long-lost blood relative of his. And a carny son of a bitch that goes by the name of Thaddeus Duke.

He pauses for a moment. But when Gondor calls for aid, Rohan answers! He puts the phone on speaker phone despite being in a crowded hipster factory of smugness, "Hello there. Theo Pryce speaking."

"Theo, it's me," a Mickey-Mouse voice says from the other end of the line. Theo's eyes widen in shock as he recognizes the voice of his nephew/cousin/whatever, Thaddeus Richard Duke.

"Thad, is that really you?" Theo asks, unable to believe the situation.

It obviously wasn’t Thad. It was a cell phone, but Thad replies anyway. "Yes, it's me. I know I've been gone for a long time, and I've made some mistakes, but I want to apologize for being a complete douche canoe. It would mean a lot to me to come back to the family. I miss all of you and I want to make things right."

Theo sits back in his booth, trying to process the news. He’s felt that a piece of his heart has been missing and now he has the chance to make things right.

"Of course, Thaddeus," Theo says, a smile spreading across his face. He begins to openly cry. An emotion that is noticed by the breast feeding hot mom at a table nearby. "Family is forever. No matter what. Where are you now?"

"I'm in the city," Thaddeus replies. "I'll swing by your place in a little bit."

Theo hangs up the phone, his mind racing with excitement and anticipation. The story of Theo Pryce and his Trilogy of friends was coming to an end. This new chapter would be the beginning of a brand new SAGA.

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Theo Pryce, Raion Kido, Ned Kaye, Jason Cashe, and me, the narrator of this story, Buster Gloves, are all gathered around a large table at Chuck E Cheese's. It’s a birthday party for our moral leader, a literal and figurative Saint, Raion Kido. Kido didn’t ask for the party, but we insisted. We’re all on a cheat day, munching slices of bowling alley quality pizza and chugging beverages in a room full of arcade sounds, screaming kids, and a minor-attracted rat known as Chuck E. Cheese. Some would call it fresh hell on Earth, but for the SAGA, it’s a near perfect moment.

At the request of Theo, we take a seat, and he returns a smile of appreciation. Suddenly, he clears his throat, catching our attention. "Guys. Listen up. I have some news," he said, his voice serious. "Thaddeus is coming back."

We go into stunned silence as sugar-fueled children endure fits of manic euphoria in the background. We say nothing and can only look back at Pryce with confusion. Thad’s reputation as an elite wrestler is unquestioned, but the baggage he brings along with him is substantial.

"What do you mean, ‘he’s coming back’?" Raion asks, his brow furrowed.

"He’s already here in New York," Pryce replied. "He's been training with some of the best coaches in the world, getting back into ring shape. He's real force to be reckoned with and a huge asset for the team."

Ned nods thoughtfully. "That's great news," he said. "We can use someone with his energy and passion on our team."

Jason nods in agreement and throws up a ‘hang loose’ hand sign, but I was worried. So, I say, "I know I’m still the new guy, but what if he's changed? What if he's not the same Thad you remember?"

Pryce smiles reassuringly. "Buster, when we walked into this pizza palace, they stamped each one of our hands with the same number." he says setting up his point. "That number means we are a family. Thad has surely changed a little, but he's still one of us. He’s family too."

We grow quiet again as the brothers considered Pryce's words. We’re aware of Thad’s involvement with Chronic Chris Page Enterprises. We’re aware of Thad’s absence and his impending return to the XWF. We know his return is high profile and will draw a lot of attention. But Thad is a pure athlete with a pedigree for wrestling. He’s completely dedicated to the sport.

"So, when can we expect him?" Raion asks, breaking the silence.

Pryce smiles. "…In the next few days." he said. "We're going to meet with him and start the on-boarding process. I’m sure you have questions for him. You’ll get your chance to ask him yourself. The tide of war is changing in our favor, boys. You’ve trusted me before. Will you trust me now?"

With that, we erupt into excited chatter as we revel in the possibilities of the future. Thad’s return will surely bring new challenges, but we can overcome them together as a team and become stronger because of it. We continue our pizza party until we're forcefully removed from the premises and barred for life.

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We arrive at the Combat Factory MMA Gym in Queens NY a couple days later. Theo’s dressed in a black sports coat with a yellow button up shirt underneath, but me and the SAGA boys are dressed for competition. Thad is already in the cage sparring with other fighters when they break the threshold. As they watch, Thad's opponents take turns trying to take him down, but Thad's quick reflexes and advanced technique keep them at bay.

“Sloppy technique.” Theo shouts to the cage.

Thad stops in his tracks and faces Theo with a punchable smirk on his face. “I didn’t think you’d show up.”

“Well, we did. And the boys would like to ask you a few questions before we go any farther.”

Thad motions to his local sparring partners to exit the ring and they obey the order. Thad stays in the cage and motions for rest of us to approach.

In typical fashion, Raion Kido steps forward, but he’s not the one that goes in first, I do. I’m eager to prove my worth. So, I strap up my padded gloves and challenge Thad to a scrap and a roll. Thad acknowledges, backs away from the cage opening, and starts hopping side to side to prepare himself. Within moments, the two newest members of SAGA are throwing punches, grappling, and pressing each other against the cage. Intent on measuring the quality of the other man, we threw hands, while the other men lean on the outside of the cage shouting fight advice to us. There’s no clock and no referee. Neither man gains the upper hand and when I was satisfied, the match ended. I say, “We’re good.” We separate, I clap him on the shoulder and the beef is squashed.

Raion enters the cage next. Then Ned. And finally, Jason. Each takes their turn challenging Thad, testing his ability, measuring his heart. Thad's strength and skill impresses them all, but by the time Ned and Jason enter the cage, Thad is exhausted. They’re easily able to outwork him, but he never gives up. He hits the mat, protects his head, and gets back up. He takes quite a bit of damage in the process, but it’s a debt he was prepared to pay. It’s the cost of admission and in the process, he’s earned the respect of his new family.

Theo watches the entire scene, observing the interactions between all of us. He breaks his silence. "Thad, there's something I need to ask you. It’s about CCPE. I need to know, where does your loyalty lie? With us or with them?"

Thad takes a deep breath and looks Theo in the eye. "Theo, I understand why you might have your doubts. I’d feel the same way if I were you, but I can assure you my loyalty is solely with you and SAGA. My time with CCPE was a mistake, and I've spent so many days trying to figure out how to undo what I’ve done. I may have made some wrong decisions in the past, but I'm here to make things right."

Theo nods slowly, still unsure. "I hope that's true, Thad. We’re going to find out soon enough."

Thad nods solemnly. "Whatever it takes…”

“It's good to have you back," Theo says, a hint of a smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “Now I think it’s about time you tell us what you know about CCPE. We need to know everything if we’re ever going to stop them."

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Meanwhile, at the legion of doom, CCPE, led by egomaniac mastermind Chris Page, has been planning chaos and destruction throughout the entire wrestling industry. They have to be stopped before the poison becomes fatal and the entire sport dies.

Chris Page is a charismatic and cunning individual, but there’s only so much a man can accomplish on his own. He was already a veteran and multi-time world champion before he ever thought of assembling CCPE. But recruiting monsters and killers and criminals was the only way he could achieve greatness on the scale he envisions.

Thaddeus Duke was one of Chris's early recruits. Chris saw Thad's potential and offered him a place in the foundation of CCPE. Thad, like many others, was lured in by Chris's promises of wealth and power.

The rivalry between Chris Page and Theo Pryce is well documented. The recent genesis of SAGA as an opposing force has CCPE on the defensive.

First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win. We’re at the laughing phase right now. But a fight is on the horizon.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Threaded Mode \| Linear Mode The Secret of the Ooze - PART ONE (Buster Gloves vs. Ned Kaye)
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