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X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS »   » Archives » Leap of Faith (July 13th) PPV RP Archive
Jaw Burr Cuts a Promo Against Kid Ant in Table's Place (RP 1)
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(always cheered; has massive following; almost never cheats)


Post: #1
07-11-2013 09:46 AM

A high school gymnasium, the only place that the thirteen year veteran in the wrestling business Jaw Burr has ever picked up a victory. Is he angry at that fact? Annoyed that he could never make it past the super indy promotions without losing to everyone left and right?

His name is Jaw Burr, right? What makes you think he's mad about it?

He stands in the middle of the basic ring, set up in the middle of the gym's basketball court. The generic rock song he uses for a theme begins to quiet down as he motions to a guy at ringside to hand him a microphone. A scrawny teenager rushes over and hands him one, and as he brings it to his mouth, the crowd dies down. They are obviously ready for one of his legendary promos, brother.

Jaw Burr: "I'm here, in this ring, to talk about some man in the XWF!"

The crowd erupts in applause and cheers upon the mention of the greatest wrestling federation of all time. Clearly, they're getting all five dollars worth of the ticket they bought!

Jaw Burr: "I'm sure all of you have heard of him, he's going to be at Leap of Faith on Saturday. His name is Kid Ant!"

Just as soon as they popped, the crowd goes dead. They definitely don't give a fuck about Kid Ant. Then again, who can really blame them? I think he won "Most likely to get the shit kicked out of him by a table" in high school. No wonder he teamed with Swift Ion (Before he got suspended for Steroids, Blow, and having traces of Underage Shemale Thai Prostitute semen in his ass, but keep that last one on the DL, yo.)

Jaw Burr: "Now now, you don't need to be so quiet. I'm sure he's going to get that reaction at the real PPV! As you may know, last week here in this very gymnasium, I had a one on one match with one XWF's rising stars...

THE TABLE!"

The crowd goes wild again! There seems to be a running theme going on here. Jaw Burr, Table, and everyone else in the XWF gets a cheer, Ion gets booed, and Kid Ant gets no reaction at all. Whatsoever. That's pretty depressing actually.

Jaw Burr: "Table is the real deal folks, but Kid Ant? Kid Ant is a lowlife no good piece of fucking shit! He's got nothing to him that makes him in the least bit interesting, I should know. I've been uninteresting for thirteen goddamn years!"

The crowd erupts into a "You don't suck!" chant directed at the man in the ring.

Jaw Burr: "That isn't necessary. I know I'm not the best, but I've had a five star classic in the middle of this ring with Table last week! What has Kid Ant done? Absolutely fucking nothing! Fuck him!"

More popping from the crowd, who are so behind the man, the myth, and the legend! The amount of support brings Jaw Burr to his knees, with tears in his eyes.

Jaw Burr: "Thank you guys. So much."

He drops the microphone and rolls out of the ring, walking back to the back as the crowd cheers and chants "Please don't go!" and "Thank you Jaw Burr!" Weird, he's not retiring. Stupid fucking fans.

"Hey! Don't insult the fans!"

Shut up Woody, you aren't even here right now!

"Oh yeah, sorry!"

"DON'T APOLOGIZE!"

The camera fades from the local high school gymnasium, to black.

[Image: tlc_zpsd46c3f35.jpg]
Table Approved Quotes

Who wouldn't want a ghost prostitute? - Mr. Satellite

Being offended is no reason to cheat - Archie Lawson
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(07-11-2013), Alex Shawn (07-11-2013), Wallace Witasick (07-11-2013)




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