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X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Relentless Day 2 RP Boards 2022
Kevin Sorbo
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James Raven Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


#1
09-23-2022, 10:54 PM

A thin beam of sunlight invades through a crack in the curtains, offering a fresh morning glow to the otherwise darkened master bedroom of our heroes. James Raven lays fast asleep, Atara curled up in his arms with her head on his chest as it rises and falls rhythmically. His end table is decorated with a small silver football which sits near his charging cell phone, engraved with the logo of the soon-to-be Super Bowl LVII champion Buffalo Bills. It was a gift from his son, Tyler, and one that he cherished.

On the opposite side of the bed, for those wondering, Atara’s side table is decorated with an alabaster statue of a nude Pan, the Greek God of the wild, playing his pan flute while stomping through the forest with a comically large and engorged penis. It was not a gift from anybody. She bought it for herself, because she liked it.

The beam of sunlight grows stronger, powering through the narrow opening in the curtains and landing on the recently married couple just as James’ cell phone begins to vibrate with his morning alarm.

His eyes flutter open, moving down to Atara before glancing anywhere else. He blinks a few times, grunting softly as he forces himself awake, and he kisses the side of her forehead, waiting for her to move herself closer to him before hugging her tight and rolling her back over to her side of the bed in one subtle movement without waking.

Expert level intimacy. Thank you, Ross Geller.

He rolls away from The Goddess, turning over to grab his cell phone and silence the alarm. He swings his feet over the edge of the bed, resting them on the carpet as he rubs his eyes with a thumb and forefinger and looks up across his room…

… directly into the camera.

JAMES RAVEN
What the FU-?!?!

He slaps his hand over his own mouth, turning quickly to make sure he hasn't woken Atara, then turns back to the lens and releases his lips to finish his very important earlier sentiment:

JAMES RAVEN
What the FUCK?!?!

He stands up and makes his way across the floor to the camera, his expression equal parts anger and confusion.

JAMES RAVEN
What are you guys doing in our bedroom?
PRODUCER (Off Camera)
… uh, James… the reality show…
JAMES RAVEN
Yeah, but this is our bedroom! We were asleep! What can you possibly hope to get out of this?
PRODUCER (O.C.)
B-roll? Transitions? This could be a great little opening for the episode; “two love birds, waking up in each other's arms”. It was beautiful. We could throw some filters on it and work it into the opening or something. We ran it past Atty last night, I swear.

James looks at the off-camera producer, his expression suddenly thoughtful.

JAMES RAVEN
… that checks out. There’s no other reason she would have let me sleep with any clothes on…

He turns away from the camera, pacing a few steps towards the bed before stopping and turning back.
JAMES RAVEN
Alright. I’m sorry. It was just… surprising. That’s all. You have to admit, this feels SLIGHTLY invasive.

There’s a long silence.

PRODUCER (O.C.)
We didn’t think it would be a big deal. You’re in the wrestling business, James. Don’t you have stuff like this in your promos all the time?

James shakes his head.

JAMES RAVEN
Nah, this feels different. The cameras for promos are small, subtle… it’s like they’re not even there, and then when someone says something mean about you, you pretend the camera WASN’T there and that they’ve crossed some sort of line by mentioning it even though you put it out there… it’s a whole schtick. There’s nothing subtle about any of this.

James reaches down and grabs the camera from its mount, spinning it around on the crew who all duck their faces quickly to maintain their anonymity.

JAMES RAVEN
There’s eleven of you! In my bedroom, while I sleep! Is that necessary? Do you really need TWO gaffers in here right now? Why is there a script supervisor? It’s a reality show, there’s no dialogue… and once more, I was asleep! Oh… oh come on… that guy in the corner isn’t even working, he’s watching something on his phone! What is he watching?!

PRODUCER (O.C.)
Back to the Future. He’s been watching since we got in here.

James sets the camera back down on the mount, seemingly calmer about the entire situation.

JAMES RAVEN
I can't even be mad. That's a great flick.
PRODUCER (O.C.)
It really is.

James makes his way back to the bed, sitting down and placing a reassuring hand gently on Ataras hip as she continues to sleep through all of this peacefully and unbothered. He just wanted to touch her hip.

PRODUCER (O.C.)
Sorry, James. Subtlety. I get it, I’ll be more subtle with things moving forward. Just take all the time you need to wake up, we can scrap this entire bedroom opening, and we’ll get started downstairs whenever you’re ready.

James nods his head appreciatively.
JAMES RAVEN
Thank you. It’s fine. Use the footage if you can, I guess… it was… it was just a lot to process before I’d even turned the light on.

PRODUCER (O.C.)
Oh. Want us to help with that?

There’s a loud click as one of the crew members hits the power to the lighting rigs that have been assembled in the corners of the room. Massive bulbs flare to life, washing out the room and blinding everyone inside.

JAMES RAVEN
God damn it!

Atara continues to sleep peacefully.

PRODUCER (O.C.)
… subtlety. Sorry…
JAMES RAVEN
… fuck me…

She mumbles from her slumber.

ATARA RAVEN
K.

LADIES AND GENTLEMAN
ITS
[Image: ZtnuEvT.png]
STARRING
James Raven
Atara Raven
Tyler Raven
Ismini Raven
and
Kevin Sorbo as Kevin Sorbo
PRODUCED BY
Ravens Nest Entertainment
DIRECTED BY
Michael J. Fox
The camera suddenly shakes violently. Yikes.

We cut to the backyard where the entire family is enjoying the day. Atara sits on an ornate bench under the shade of a large fir tree, holding her daughter Ismini in her arms and beaming warmly down on her.

James and Tyler stand on a patch of pavement a few dozen yards away, an old and battered skateboard in James’ hands. Tyler looks at it and shakes his head dismissively.

TYLER
Sooo… why do you think that thing can help you win at Relentless?
JAMES
Well, it’s not like I’m in a real match, right? It’s more of a race.
TYLER
So you’re not fighting?

James shakes his head.

JAMES
Oh no, I’m going to punch Bam Miller in his big stupid face. But ALSO it’s kind of a race. So, like, this could help me right? It helped Marty McFly outrun Biff.

TYLER
Dad, you don’t HAVE to do Back to the Future stuff just because everyone else is. You can just do something different and win the match.

Tyler takes the skateboard from his father and tosses it into the grass. He turns and walks away, making his way over to Atara and Ismini to join them in the shade of the fir tree. Atara smiles at him as he approaches, and James watches in stunned silence as he walks away in stunned silence.

JAMES
Hey, I DID do something different! Kevin Sorbo is here! Televisions Hercules! He wasn’t even IN Back to the Future!

The camera pulls out to a wider shot, revealing an aged Kevin Sorbo standing a bit behind The People’s GOAT. Kevin Sorbo holds his arms folded across his chest, and nods in agreement.

KEVIN SORBO
… why AM I here though?

James spins and shrugs at Kevin, a guilty expression on his face.

JAMES
Full disclosure… it WAS supposed to be a Back to the Future bit, and you were going to be Crispin Glover… but honestly, that guy’s really weird and I’m not sure how I feel bringing him around my children. Besides, Atty already nailed the whole parody thing, so I just pulled a name out of a hat and, well, Lucy Lawless wasn’t available so they sent me you.

James turns away from the man that once played a bar patron in a 1992 episode of Cheers entitled “Licence to Hill”.



Cut to Kevin Sorbo sitting alone in a small confessional room, speaking directly into the camera.

KEVIN SORBO
I’m not going to lie, I felt like that whole exchange was pretty insulting, but I could use the work so I didn’t say anything. Hey, don’t look at me like that. Hercules was a long time ago, and the residual checks I get for The Santa Suit are about thirty-seven cents a year, so…

His gaze falls slowly to the floor, and he sighs deeply.
KEVIN SORBO
I’m pretty disappointed, though. I really thought they were bringing me here to be in some sort of Back to the Future thing… I love those movies… I wonder how Michael J. Fox is doing these days?

The camera shakes violently again. Double yikes.



James makes his way away from Kevin Sorbo and crosses the grass to join his family. He calls out to Tyler, eager to get him involved in some sort of shenanigans, but his son has already sprawled out on the grass at Atara’s feet like the XWF Universal champion does on every twitter post.

JAMES
Come on, Tyler. Let’s go get our hands on a copy of Grays Sports Almanac, and it can tell us who to bet on so we get rich or something. That’ll be fun!
TYLER
We’re already rich.
JAMES
I’M rich, Tyler.

Atara raises her hand.
ATARA
I, also, am rich.

James nods his head in agreement. He looks back at Tyler.

JAMES
Even Kevin Sorbo over there used to be rich, but you… not rich.

Tyler rolls over lazily in the grass, like Robbie Bourbon sunning himself. That would have been funnier if he was still built like a Walrus.

TYLER
Well, why do we need that stupid book? It’ll just say “bet on the Bills”.

James has no argument to that one. It’s a solid point.



Cut back to the confessional booth, but this time the stool is empty.
PRODUCER (O.C.)
Where is she? Can someone go get her?

We cut back to the yard.



Atara looks into the camera, a surprised look on her face.

ATARA
Oh, I’m sorry Dove. You’re waiting on me?

She bobs her head towards Ismini, asleep in her arms.

ATARA
I’m a little busy right now. Can you just cut in some more footage of me dancing around the house or something? I feel like you have plenty of that.

JAMES
Plenty.

Atara shoots him a look.

ATARA
You’ve never complained about it.

He nods in agreement.

JAMES
I watch for reasons I won't discuss in front of my son.



[Image: YvT8Z3s.gif]



We cut to Tyler Raven staring into the confessional camera, shaking his head.

TYLER
I’m 12, not dumb. He’s talking about her butt.

We cut to Kevin Sorbo on the stool.

KEVIN SORBO
Also her boobs. He probably looks at her boobs.

We cut to James Raven on the confessional hot seat, his eyebrows arched in shock.

JAMES
They said what? I was talking about her personality. Respectfully.



James throws his hands up in defeat and turns to walk away, but Atara catches his eye and motions to the seat next to her on the bench. He softens.

ATARA
Sit, my dear. Enjoy the day with us. You’ve been going non stop, whether it’s WGWF or managing the details for Themis Palastera, whether it’s Ravens Nest or Bam Miller… you don’t have to put this much work into finding a hook. It’s the XWF, Vinnie Lane has gotten by without doing work for years now.

He sighs and shrugs his shoulders.

JAMES
But it’s Relentless…

She looks at him, challenging his stubbornness.

ATARA
Really? Do you REALLY want to spend the day trying to think of Christopher Lloyd jokes and wondering how to reference Johnny B Goode as many times as possible to make Theo happy?

He thinks about it honestly.

JAMES
No, no I really don’t. What the fuck kind of match did they stick me in, anyways? They can’t just let me beat the hell out of the guy to handle my business, I’ve got to climb a clocktower and hook up a car battery to my nipples or something.
ATARA
They definitely didn’t say anything about that. You’re still paranoid about Shane . The bad man can’t hurt you anymore. The rules to this are actually pretty straightforward, James. You have to send Marty back to 1985 and save the world, or get electrocuted and probably die. Don’t overthink it.

James just shakes his head.

TYLER
Somewhere in there you’ll have to punch Bam Miller in his stupid ugly face.
Kevin Sorbo approaches the group.

KEVIN SORBO
Hey guys, I don’t mean to interrupt family time but I really need to go to the bathroom.
JAMES
Tyler, take Kevin Sorbo for a walk.
TYLER
Awww man! I don’t wanna!
ATARA
Tyler, don’t argue with your father when he’s upset about the XWF. Take Kevin Sorbo so he can go to the bathroom.

Tyler pushes himself up off the grass in a huff and stomps across the yard, away from Atara, James and Ismini.

TYLER
Come on, Kevin Sorbo, let's go.

Televisions Hercules bounds after him. James collapses on the bench next to Atara, and she positions herself to lean back against his arm and rest her head on his shoulder.

JAMES
It’s a stupid stipulation.
ATARA
Of course it is.
JAMES
And Bam Miller is an arrogant piece of shit.
ATARA
Of course he is.

They sit quietly. Her presence and touch soothes him. Finally she asks him a simple question.

ATARA
Does going back feel like going home?
JAMES
Of course it does.



James sits alone in the confessional seat.

PRODUCER (O.C.)
Introduce yourself to the camera, please.

JAMES
Is that a joke?

PRODUCER (O.C.)
Just standard when we shoot a show like this. We do it with everyone, but we may not even use it. Just go ahead and give us a little introduction, you never know if it’ll be helpful to have in editing.

JAMES
Alright, fine. My name is James Raven.

PRODUCER (O.C.)
We need a little bit more than that.

JAMES
My name is James Raven, and I’m one of the stars of this show. If you don’t know, why are you watching?

PRODUCER (O.C.)
Come on, man. Give us something, here. We’ve all heard you give some great intros before, and sure, Most of the people watching this will probably already know who you are… but every time is SOMEBODY'S first time seeing you. Turn on the charm for them. If not for them, do it for the XWF fans that are excited to see you come back for the members of the locker room who want to see the GOAT.

JAMES
Oh Christ. You’re really going to make me do this… ok, here we go…

PRODUCER (O.C.)
For the hundredth time?

JAMES
Fuck off. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, support animals and unticketed vagrants in attendance… allow me to reintroduce myself… my name is James Raven, but you may know me as The Peoples G.O.A.T., the GM of the WGWF, or your mom's favorite wrestler. I am the most famous set of abs in professional wrestling, more Hall of Fame‘s under my belt than most wrestlers have divorces, and so many world titles that I got bored of chasing them and left them for the rest of you mooks. I am the husband of the goddess, the father of the future, and the icon that half of your favorite superstars hope stays away forever. I am the Bam Miller slayer. I’m also very, very modest.

James winks at the camera.

JAMES
There. Better?

PRODUCER (O.C.)
That’s great.

JAMES
Now what?

PRODUCER (O.C.)
Now? Just talk. You mentioned Bam Miller, and XWF will probably be a big topic for the episode since you’re going back. What do you have to say to him?

JAMES
What do I have to say to Bam Miller? Pretty much the same thing I always had to say to him, nothing. He instigated this entire thing, not me. I was happily minding my own business, managing Ataras sisters in their tag team run and taking in a few XWF shows as a fan when I could make it… I never had a word for the guy, let alone a negative one. I never so much as glanced in his direction, let alone sideways. He has this warped idea of what my relationship with the XWF is, like, he thinks I’m showing up to use them for hype and publicity of some kind or steal food off his plate. I never asked for XWF reporters to shove a microphone in my face or turn the cameras on me, and I have made it a point to stay out of the affairs of the people on this roster when it hasn’t directly affected me or my family. I never took a booking away from him, I never stopped him from performing or cashing a paycheck, but this arrogant little fuck wants to act like I have shown up to a company I don’t belong in as some sort of personal slide against him. As some sort of attack.
Maybe he’s just naïve and doesn’t know about everything that I’ve done in that company. Or maybe he has a limitless ego and believes he’s far more important in this hierarchy than he actually is. Either way, if anyone is going to tell me that I don’t belong at an XWF show anymore or that my behaviour is detracting from their product… it sure as shit isn’t going to be him.

JAMES
Not some pansy-assed, cheap-shotting coward that needs to poke the bear because he hasn’t gotten sufficient attention by being mauled yet. Not someone too dumb to realize that the guy he’s accusing of “stealing his spot” is the only reason you even have a fight on the card at the biggest show of the year. Not someone too cowardly to set his ambition on the Universal title, and eyeing an Xtreme belt that I’ve won more times than I can remember. How are you going to openly feel outclassed by the rest of your peers, but run your mouth like you’re going to go toe to toe with a legend?

JAMES
All you had to do was walk the other way when you saw me backstage, or bite your tongue when you were feeling a little salty. Hell, I’d have taken a quick apology after the fact, or maybe a nice fruit basket. Instead, you wanted to act tough. You wanted to drag me back into the ring just so that you could resent me for being there. Fine, Bam. You’ve got me. You’ve got what several of your companies general managers couldn’t; Me, back in the XWF and for the biggest show of the year. The XWF. A company I starred for, that I carried, that I dedicated everything about myself to. That I owned, that I nursed, that I picked off life support.

JAMES
Home. I’m catching flashbacks. Back to the future.

JAMES
Who am I? Allow me to reintroduce myself. I am relentless. I am the XWF. I am professional wrestling; the returning hero, the favourite son.

JAMES
I am the end of Bam Miller.

JAMES
I am James Raven. The Peoples GOAT.

JAMES
Fear me forevermore…


Once more we see Atara and James in their master bedroom, the crews cameras now much more subtly placed. He's staring at something on his phone, and she rolls over to get a better look at his screen. 

He's looking at a picture of himself with the XWF Universal title around his waist.

JAMES
Think I could do it again?
ATTY
There was never a single thing that I thought you couldn't do, Dove.


With that, he sets down his phone and turns out the light, pulling his wife close.

It was something worth thinking about.

The People’s G.O.A.T.
120-24-3

3x Universal Champion, 3x World Champion, 9x Xtreme Champion, 1x Hart Champion, 2x Phoenix Champion, 1x Women’s Champion (lol), 1x Federweight Champion, 1x Heavymetalweight Champion, 5x Tag Team Champion
(w/ Aidan Collins, Roxy Nova, Mia Sanchez, Big Shank, Drew Archyle/Robert Main)

XWF Hall of Legends
#4 on XWFs “Top 50” List
2009 Rookie of the Year
2009 Face of the Year
2010 Heel of the Year
8x Star of the Month
2x Star of the Year (2009/‘10)
2x Feud of the Year (2010/‘11 w/ Big Shank)
2017 High Stakes Winner
Former Owner
Lots of other random shit
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