The scene came to life inside of some sort of lab. It's dark, but there was power as indicated by various flashing lights coming from various machines. Even still, it didn't look like anyone had been here in a long time as a thick layer of dust seemed to cover everything in the room. A figure stumbles through the dark. All we could see was tattered jeans and the lower fringes of a tattered coat that was much to heavy for the summer heat. This persons dirty boots trampled through the lab and towards some sort of chair that was connected to all of the various machines. 




The flipping of a breaker, and with it an explosion of light. The figure climbed into the chair as we got our first glimpse of his face. It was Micheal Graves.


"Fuckin' Lane! He thinks that he can keep Gravy confined to a desk!? FUCK THAT! He thinks I'm a powerless hack without my potato, but I'll show'em! With this machine, I'm about to take a shortcut straight to better than great, cause I'm already that!"


With a deep laugh that was quickly interrupted by a prolonged bout of smokers cough, Micheal grabbed a big metal helmet that was also attached to a shit ton of cables and slipped it over his head. As he did, we could see the BOB logo stamped prominently on the side along with P.E.T.S., whatever that meant, but judging simply by what Micheal said, you would have to assume that this must be some sort of BOB developed bootleg of the simulation program used by Mark Flynn.

---

Micheal Graves continued to find himself trapped in a promo, but this time he had met a mysterious stranger that seemed eager to make some sort of offer. Was this mysterious dude behind what was happening and what did he have to offer Micheal?









THIS TIME!





























OR did he do it intentionally for the fast forward?


"Damn right I did, I'm not THAT stupid!"


Said Micheal from behind the wheel of a red Corvette as it traveled down a dusty Cali highway at dangerous speeds that left little time to take in the scenery. Curiously, or perhaps not so much anymore, we see a younger Micheal Graves sitting shotgun and grinning wide through the reflection in Gravy's shades.


"I don't need your shit right now!"


The younger Micheal chuckles. "Still running in circles, I see!"


Gravy snarled at his reflection before snapping back. "What do you know about this!?! Who was that guy at the BarnCoin!?!"


Defensively, young Gravy threw his hands up with a shrug.


"Beats the Hell outta me. I don't know nothin' you don't know and vise versa."


That's right! Sometimes Gravy gets confused over who is and isn't just in his head.


"Okay, fine! Then tell me what you THINK is happening then!"


Young Gravy shrugs again. "I dunno, man. Maybe Kido's using his ki to fuck with you or something? You know those Asians are all into that mystic arts shit!"


Of course, meant Martial Arts, but neither Gravy is the brightest.


"Good-fucking-point! I wouldn't put anything past that snake pretending to be a dragon!"


"Lion." Younger Gravy corrected. 


"I FUCKING KNOW! But I don't know what the lion equivalent of a snake is! BUT HE'S A SNAKE! Snake in the fucking grass if I ever saw one! Fucker coming into my XWF being all positive and motivational! Losing matches and acting like it's no big deal. Always looking towards his next goal with confidence, courage, and a message of inspiration!"


Gravy takes a deep breath in through his nostrils.


"IT'S ALL BULLSHIT!"


Gravy pounds his fist into the steering wheel in frustration! 


"He acts like some sort of fucking manga inspired boy scout, but last Savage he punched a bitch in the titty to pick up the win! WOW! So fucking honorable! I KNOW it's his finisher, but to do that to a bitch? It's fucking low, bro! As a former bitch myself, I can tell you straight up, getting punched in the titty hurts like a motherfucker! I would have been 100% fine with Angie kicking his genetically proven baby dick into his throat for that one!"


Young Gravy nodded agreeingly. "I'd had been fine with it just to shut him up!"


"Why? He ain't said shit to me! Hey, didja know that he based his whole bullshit off of some stupid show he saw as a kid! Wow, great! It's so fucking awesome to have some fucking otaku loser as our Uni champ! If you don't know what that is, it's Japanese geek culture! I learned about it when I toured Japan a few years ago! It's a whole thing! It's also fucking stupid! Grown ass men idolizing pretend characters from the funny books! Fucking pussies, each and every one; but the biggest pussy of the lot is the one cosplaying in my fucking ring!"


"Uh, I think it's a bit of a stretch to call it your ring, don't you? Also, going out on a limb here, but I'm thinking that maybe you're taking Raion Kido a little light?"


"I'm not taking anyone fucking light! It's just confidence! You can't win without it ya fuck! Besides, I keep climbing into this fucking machine don't I!?! Not that I know why! All it does it is the same shit over and over!"


"Then why even bother?"


Gravy grinded his teeth and tightened his grip to the wheel. He knew the answer. He knew it well and he knew it to his core, but to admit it aloud, even to himself? Aw man, this might be the toughest battle Gravy ever faced, but somehow he found the courage. 


"BECAUSE I NEED ALL THE HELP I CAN GET!"


Gravy swerved into oncoming traffic with the outburst, almost colliding with a tractor trailer head on before swerving back into his lane.


"Listen, I blame a lot of my shit on management. Not without reason! They do ALWAYS seem to get involved whenever Gravy finds himself on the cusp of greatness. As if life didn't deal me a shit enough hand as is, but fact remains; I ain't getting fucked no more because only pussies get fucked!"


"And assholes, in which you are undeniably one!" Interrupted Young Gravy, which caused Micheal to glare at his former self with the level of self loathing usually reserved for the that time once every month or so that he decides to wash his balls with Vinnie Lane's face towel in his "private" executive restroom. 


"I know that I always fuck it up when it counts, but this thing is supposed to help me not fuck it up! I don't know how it works, or what it even does other than replay the same recycled shit over and over, but I do know that I've won both of my matches on Savage and Anarchy since I started using it."


Young Gravy seemed confused. "I thought you said that you were winning because of BarnCoin!?"


Gravy was stunned at his own stupidity! "WHAT!? FUCK NO! That shit's just a diversion! Classic BOB move! Make them look at the right hand while you stab them with the left! I got everyone so focused on BarnCoin AND their own missing Xbux, that ain't nobody even taking notice of the fact that Ole Gravy has positioned himself to take the Universe by storm! They all STILL think this match is a fucking joke ass warm up for Kido, MOSTLY thanks to me hanging around with Barney and Darren; because NOBODY thinks I'm a joke!"


"Yeah, sure... So you keep using this machine because it's the actual reason that you're winning matches now, but you have no understanding of how it works or what it even does?"


Excited that YG gets it, Gravy shouted in exclamations! "YES! EXACTLY!"


You could see Young Gravy working out the details in his head before he ever spoke a word.


"Didn't you win both of those matches by essentially falling in the right direction."


Centurion and Micheal fought the end of their match atop the cage. The final blows from each sending the other falling, Centurion into the ring and Gravy out of it for the victory. Similarly, Micheal's pinfall victory over Mastermind came when he fell over him for the cover. Micheal wasn't even conscious when it happened. 


"Fuck you! Haven't you ever seen Toy Story!?! There's something to be said about falling with style! It's not as fucking easy as it looks! If it were, Centurion wouldn't have made an ass out of himself crying on Twitter about it! Here let me give you a lesson!"


Gravy jerked the wheel and the car went rolling over that familiar cliff! 




LATER!


It was a gruesome scene as a blood drenched Micheal Graves stepped off of the bus and onto the paved sidewalk. As Micheal took his first steps towards his destination, the familiar voice of Gravy's fan called out to him.


"Micheal, sorry, I don't mean to bother you, man. I just want to tell you that you're fucking awesome!"


Micheal about faced the man. Sucking at his teeth, he looked the "fan" up and down. He had already exposed him as a fake in their first encounter. Since then he has had little patience for their interactions, not that any of this was real anyway.


"Want an autograph?"


The guy's eyes widened in excitement! This was exactly what he wanted, something to hock on eBay! The fan presented Micheal with an XWF program. It was a few months old. It featured Raion Kido, Thunder Knuckles, Bobbie Bourbon, and Jenny Myst: The final four of March Madness. Gravy stared at the image of Raion Kido on the cover. That confident smile struck him. Gravy remembered how confident Raion was that he would burn the cosmos that night, but alas, a big dirty bastard stood in his way. Well, he might not have been in BOB anymore, but Gravy was the biggest bastard you'd meet! 


Seriously, he never knew his dad!


Which was kinda sad, but as Micheal stabbed the pen into ole boy's eye, and tossed him into a nearby dumpster, we're quickly reminded that he's also a son of a bitch!


"Fucking fake ass, fake ass fan! Why wouldn't this shit program me an actual fan!? I got tons of'em out in the real world!"


A little more agitated than before, Gravy continued on his way until there was as sudden and quite expected interruption.


"Excuse me, sir. Would you have a couple of dollars that you could spare?" Asked a homely and likely homeless woman as he passed. 


Micheal licked his chops. It had been a few weeks since he had gotten laid. "Yes, indeed I do! Mayhaps you could assist me with something to earn that cash, my lady!?"







Some time had passed before and we now found ourselves staring at a line of blue Porta Potties. 




Sitting alone in the waiting room was our guy. 


"You!" Micheal pointed! "What do you know about this place!?!"


With a friendly smile, the mysterious man stood up to greet Micheal.


"Ah, I've been waiting for you!"


"YEAH, YEAH!!! We covered that last time! Tell me who you are and what you know about this machine!"


The mysterious man smiled an untrustworthy smile. "Take my hand." He asked as he laid his hand in front of Micheal.


Gravy cocked his head to the side. "I ain't holdin' hands ya ! Just tell me how to get the most out of this place!"


The man continued to smile and hold out his hand. "Take my hand and let's find out."


Begrudgingly, Gravy did take his hand, and when he did, he was thrust into a world where he was confronted by every fear and insecurity that he denied! 


He was met with flashes of his parents, dead shortly after his and Sean's birth. 


Next was the foster home system he went through, and how his behavior meant that only the worst of families would tolerate him for more than a few weeks. 


This lead to Micheal spending most of his childhood bouncing from one piece of shit family looking for a check to the next. 


Next up were flashes of Micheal as a child, going through the education system. Each grade failing because he was deemed a trouble maker and for the same reason that he was deemed not worth teaching, he was also passed effortlessly from one grade to the next, with the ultimate goal being to make him someone else's problem. 


Finally was his career, and the many insecurities that he couldn't face, namely, how his talent wasn't the issue as much as his smarts, or lack thereof. Strategy and cunning were not Micheal's friends and the lack of both would usually prove to be his undoing. Micheal was easy to confuse and even easier to outwork since he had let himself go over the years. 


But most of all, Micheal was an idiot.


It was all more than Micheal could take, and consciously, he shut down. 

---

"AAAAHHHHHHHhhhhh.... Fuck... What happened?" Micheal sat up and removed the helmet with shaky hands. It dinged a hollow ding as it's once shiny metal bounced off of the floor for the millionth time. Micheal rubbed his temples as he closed his eyes and tried really hard to concentrate on what he had just experienced, but it was all a blur with the end being the hardest to recall.


"Goddamnit!" Micheal winced in pain, a splitting headache was all that he could focus on. Micheal slid out of the chair and onto his feet. He was having trouble standing. He felt weak. Micheal stumbled forward destined for a fall, but he caught himself on one of the many control panels for the P.E.T.S. machine. 


He stared down at all of the various buttons and switches. Up until now, Gravy was afraid of fucking with shit. He didn't know anything about this machine and was afraid of fucking it up. However, he wasn't getting anywhere as is, and he needed SOMETHING to give him the edge over Raion Kido. He couldn't risk waiting another five years for a shot at the Uni!


"Fuck it, YOLO!" Gleefully, Micheal began pressing all the buttons and flipping all the switches! Some more than once! He didn't know what any of it did anyway, so might as well find out, right?


Micheal stumbled into the chair and climbed in. He was ready to rock and roll! With a crazed grin, Micheal placed the metal helmet over his head once more, and just like every time before, he was transported to a different world!

---

As the sun sat on another busy day in the Big Apple, Micheal opened his eyes to a fresh new day. Excited, he sat up, but as he did, he hit his head off of a heavy wooden structure of some kind. "OW! SHIT!" Feeling above him Micheal pressed against the wooden lid and sat up to realize that he was in a coffin instead of the tent that he was used too. "Oh fuck, I think I dicked it up!"