Last time we saw Gravy, he was trapped within a recorded promo. Looks like more of the same recycled bullshit!


THEN!





Cars race, people walk, but Micheal does not emerge from his tent.


"No, I'm out of that fucking rutt! Over here!"


Leaning against a red corvette, arms crossed, shades down; Micheal Graves! He's trying way too hard to look cool with his skinny jeans and heavy leather jacket.


"Did you see it, boys!? Centurion was looking for a warm up, and I damn sure left him hot and bothered with that BIG FAT "L"! Next time less coco in the cabin and more taking Gravy's high sodium content more seriously, right!? HA!"


Gravy literally slaps his knee as he laughs aloud. As the laughter calms, Micheal's demeanor changes to one a little more serious.


"Speaking of high sodium, I ain't got shit on Mark Flynn. Dude got so salty that NK was being positioned to steal some of his shine. That reaction though! Those were the actions of a desperate man, trust me, you don't go XTREME because you want to. You do it because you NEED to! It's an act of desperation! A deal with Father Time to trade some of yours for just a few more years of relevancy. Just look at US!"


Darren Dangerous rolls out of the trunk, wrapped in barbed wire and looking for a fight and a fuck. Barney also steps into frame, but seems to be distracted by the stock alerts on his phone.


"LOOK AT US!? Do ANY of us look like competent wrestlers!? HELL NO! But that didn't stop me from knocking Cent off of his pedestal, and that cage last Savage, it didn't stop The Dangerous Daddies from bashing Hide Yamazaki's head in at Madness! My lack of ability didn't save Mastermind, and and it's not gonna save you! You're standing on the tracks waiting your chance at the Universal championship. Too bad that nobody could have predicted THIS Gravy Train charging full speed ahead with a final destination of crashing through Raion Kido's Universe! It doesn't even matter if I beat you Mark, because my opportunity is signed and set! That doesn't mean that I don't WANT to beat you! How strong of a challenger are you going to be once I knock you off mere days before capturing the Universal Championship for myself!? How much of a fight will Mark Flynn muster the second time when Gravy has champs advantage on his side!? All this planning, wrestling, and backstabbing bullshit you had to go through to get here, and all I did was walk through the fucking door and ASK! How fucking stupid you must feel!"


Gravy nods with the same confidence a member of The Misfits would so wrongly display. 


"And you can say I didn't earn it. I don't give a fuck, and the fact is, neither will history! Steve Jason, James Raven, that , Fuzz! Can any of y'all remember their rise to the top!? FUCK NO! You all just see the name in the record books and attach that shine to it! A week ago, I hadn't wrestled a match on official XWF programing for the better part of this year, and now I have 2 wins under my belt and a shot at the top prize! The second shot I've ever received, and because of that, I DO NOT plan on squandering it! I'm gonna bite every finger, poke every eye, twist every titty, and clench every set of balls between myself and that belt! In other words, I don't give a fuck about honor! I don't give a fuck about being hailed as the greatest anything, I only want those sweet sweet wins and that big check bringing belt because frankly, I'm fucking sick of becoming homeless every time management gets their panties in a bunch over some controversial thing that I said or did! Yeah, I wanted to fuck Dolly Waters! Still do, so what!? If anything, I revel in the attention! Yeah, I do whatever the fuck I want, whenever the fuck I want because so long as they're talking about 'cha, you can comeback from ANYTHING! I've ended careers through TRAUMA AND PAIN! I've raped the boss and stolen peoples skin! I do whatever the fuck I have to in order to survive, and yeah, sure, my tactics have never brought me to the top before, but they have lead to me slowly and maliciously claw back every little bit of what was robbed of me five years ago when I was made into this laughable loser via the skull crushing swings of a little girls... bat. Haven't been quite right ever since."


Gravy spaces off as he reflects on that fateful night. It was a Warfare. Dolly Waters was looking for revenge. Micheal had betrayed her only a week before. Prior to that, they seemed to have a budding father/daughter like friendship brewing. Yeah, I know, it's odd to think of Micheal Graves in that role. You must remember, there was a time that Micheal wasn't the kiddy chasing hardcore clout chasing cartoon that he is today. He used to be just another asshole, but he was kind to Dolly, till he wasn't. She got him back good though. Trapped him alone, away from his buddies, and used that baseball bat to cave his fucking skull in on live TV! It was bloody! It was brutal! It was thought to be the end of Micheal Graves career, IF NOT LIFE! 


He was back the next week, but something was different, he was acting oddly to say the least. The attack had caused major irreparable brain damage. Even with the advanced healing ability that he had gained from experiments performed at a lab that once supplied the XWF with many "talents" with various supernatural abilities. He hated Dolly for what she had done, but his wired were crossed and he expressed that hatred with flirtatiously vague threats of violence and fun! This all sank his career... 


"Tell them about BarnCoin."


"Oh yeah, shit! Flynn, do you want a path to the championship that doesn't require you shitting on a year long friendship to accomplish? Well pal, hop on in one of those fancy time machines everyone seems to keep in their basements and head on back to a time before Micheal Graves showed up to Savage to knock another over entitled dipshit off his pedestal and put those Tag Team earnings to work by investing in BarnCoin! It's not just a crypto, it's a dream maker! How does it work?"


"WHO THE FUCK KNOWS!?!"


Barney remembers Mark's attempts to figure it out with his show, "What Is BarnCoin?", and how they failed to figure out what BarnCoin really is. He grins. "I know."


"Well I don't, but I know that investing in BarnCoin has gotten me result in both my financial portfolio, and in the ring! We've proven it since forming The XTREME Alliance! I'm wrestling again, where I fucking belong, and Lane can't even explain to you WHY or HOW it happened much less do anything to stop it! Can any of you explain THAT!? I can, BarnCoin!"


"Barney Green done grew his fucking eye back!"


"Darren Dangerous returned from the fucking grave to FIGHT and FUCK everything he sees!"


"And Micheal fucking Graves has become a Goddamned winner!"


"Just imagine the life BarnCoin could have made for you and The War Criminal had you listened to NK and invested early! Ah, friends till the end, and in this world that end may not have been so bitter! Because in this world, NK likely never would have won War Games! Well wait, he invested didn't he?!?! Hmmm, well, okay, he still would have WON War Games, but maybe he would have been gifted the good sense to challenge for something more promising for his own safety, like the SuperCon! Or maybe Theo never would have bent the rules to allow him to challenge for the Uni in the first place? Yeah! Hell, maybe in this world he would have proven to be a glorious and trustworthy friend who would have gone on to use his shot to help The Mark Flynn secure the championship for himself?"


"MAAAYBE that was his plan the entire time in THIS timeline? Nah, you ain't invested in BarnCoin!"


"You still can though! Invest now and save yourself the embarrassment that will come along with an in ring ass kicking from this oblivious idiot who's too brain damaged to learn his lot in life..."


"Ain't that right Cent!?"


Suddenly: A commotion!


"Hey, what's your fucking problem, man!"


Darren is chasing some dude trying to start some shit and steal his girlfriend or something. Darren has ol boys head wrapped in strings of barbed wire and he's twisting it tight!. A crowd is starting to gather and it appears that at least one person is calling 911!


"Barn, collect your boy. It's time to leave."


Barney and Darren get into a spat, but it ends with Darren climbing back into the very cramped trunk and Barney losing his glass eye in the scuffle.


"Fuck, you'd better buy more BarnCoin, bro! You're new eye got tore out again!"


Barn opens the passenger door to the Corvette, but stops to address the camera.


"No, YOU'D better buy more BarnCoin!"


Because these promo's do double as cheap ads! Our heroes enter the car and pull off. As they do, an XWF camera drone falls from the sky and crashes onto the ground just in front of Gravy's tent. 


Hmmmm... Someone should recycle that!


LATER!


We pick back up with our heroes, and yes, they are the heroes of this story. There is no black and white, only shades of Gravy, and whatever he does is right, no matter how wrong; So deal with it!


Anyway, our heroes are traveling down a dusty highway in California. Top down, sun beaming. Old ass weathered billboards and the faint sounds of other car's radios. Oddly, this still seems familiar! In the rearview mirror, through yet another reflection in Gravy's sunglasses, we see a young man, white shirt, leather coat. As a matter of fact, he is dressed identical to Micheal Graves, and even more curiously, looks just like him, only about 25 years younger!


"So what, you just HAD to bring them along, huh?"


Gravy acknowledges himself in the mirror, but doesn't speak since Barney is sitting right next to him.


"The fucking Dangerous Daddies. Your Goddamned golden ticket to the top! How's that working out for ya?"


Only Gravy can hear him it seems.


"I have a shot at the Universal championship lined up!"


He says with a spark of excitement to his former self, but Barn assumes it was directed towards him, because, you know, Young Gravy is in Mike's head.


"I know. You haven't shut up about it since Chris Page announced the booking, but I am glad to see that your investments are paying off."


Before chiming in. "If you're challenging, it's just a fluff match for the champion. Shouldn't get your hopes up, loser."


The words cut like a knife, but he can't respond directly. He wouldn't want to appear... crazy.


"Well Barn, it's just that this is going to be my second shot at this belt in 18 years. I came within a cunt hair of winning it the first time. In fact, I should have, but that's a story for a different day. Today, the only story that matters is the one where Micheal Graves rises to the challenge and brings a dark, dark day to the XWF by capturing it's Universal championship! Everyone says that it won't happen, that it can't, just like they said that I wouldn't defeat Centurion, and won't defeat Mark Flynn, but they don't understand; It's a new fucking day, and after having my livelihood robbed from me by Petty Vinnie, the only guy I know to PUNISH a girl for a GOOD FUCK; I'm very much taking my shit here more seriously than I have in a very long time!"


Busy checking his crypto investments, "MmmHmm", was all Barn could muster in response.


"Sounds like you on some pussy shit to me, homie. WAH WAH, THEY TOOK MY CAREER! WAH WAH, I'M GOING TO FIGHT HARDER THAN EVER!"


"I thought you hated how shit turned out for us as much as I did?" Micheal asks with a fierce stare through the rearview.


"I do, don't you fucking doubt it for a moment, but I'd rather be a foul smelling loser than some bitch made motherfucker working on his rasslin moves and making strategies and shit!"


Unexpectedly! "STRATEGIES ARE FOR PUSSIES", Yells Gravy! "I prefer to be unpredictable!"


This has no effect on Barn who is now calculating how much money he's going to make if insider projections are to be believed. Darren on the other hand seems to suddenly come to life and by the sounds of it, is fucking something in the trunk. Suddenly a fucking Xenomorph burst through the backseat! Darren wasn't fucking! Darren was DYING!


"OH FUCK!" The little beast goes straight for Barney! It's cutting and ripping, and chewing, and whatever else a baby Xenomorph might do! Now Barn's fucking dead and Gravy needs to act fast! He knows what to do, but is unsure. He peers into the rearview for a sign.


"DO IT!"