The city life for Centurion is over.

For the past few years, Centurion has lived in an apartment in Chicago. As he's gotten older, however, and his schedule isn't as packed as it used to be, he has come to realize that the insanity of the big cities can lead to unhealthy habits, and thus, a relocation to the woods was in order. 

We open up inside Centurion's new luxury cabin somewhere in the Poconos. The wood house sits on the edge of a lake, with over 600 private acres of forest surrounding it. The cabin itself is quite large and rather spacious - three stories, open living and dining room, outdoor hot tub, front deck and a back patio, and several large windows that make it easy to catch a glimpse of the beautiful nature that it sits upon.

OOC: The cabin is based on these pictures, for further reference.

Not exactly "roughing it", but regardless of the size, there's one part of the accommodations that stands above all the others.

The silence.

Centurion sits inside on a recliner with a glass of scotch sitting in a highball glass next to him. The sound of classical music is playing softly in the background, and Centurion sits silently with his eyes closed, basking in the beauty of the moment. 

After a few minutes, Centurion opens his eyes and stretches before slowly standing up from his chair. He takes the last sip of his scotch before walking the glass over to the bar in the dining room area. Centurion reaches into a cupboard and pulls out a fancy wooden cigar box. He opens it up, and inside there are two separate products - a stack of cigars on one side, and a stack of pre-rolled joints on the other. He grabs one of the joints before closing the box and putting it back in the cupboard. He puts the joint in his mouth, but his moment is cut short by the sound of a car pulling up to the house. Centurion takes the joint and puts it in his pocket before walking through the living room and out the front door.

The car stops and the engine cuts off, and out from the front two seats steps Nellie and Erin. Erin is holding two bags of groceries, and Centurion looks on, confused, as they close the doors.

"Wait…" Centurion says in a questioning tone. "Where's Ruby?"

"You have to promise not to be mad." Nellie says in a pleading voice.

"Oh God." Centurion responds with a sigh. "What, did you lose her?"

"Not exactly." Nellie says, coyly. 

As she says that, the sound of a motor echoing through the woods can be heard in the distance. Centurion's eyes widen as he looks at Nellie, who gives him a smile and a shrug. The sound gets louder and louder, until a yellow motorcycle is seen coming through the woods and towards the group. The rider, wearing a lime green helmet, weaves back and forth through the trees before getting onto the driveway and stopping next to Nellie's car. The rider turns off the bike and takes off her helmet, revealing, of course, Ruby. Ruby has a giant smile on her face as she steps off the bike and sets the helmet down on the seat.

"I bought a dirt bike!" Ruby says in the happiest voice imaginable.

"Yeah. I see that." Centurion responds in a matter of fact manner. "I thought you were all going to town just to pick up stuff for dinner tonight. How in the WORLD did this end with you buying a dirt bike?"

"Stroke of luck, my mans!" Ruby quickly answers. "We were driving through some residential area when we saw this bad boy just sitting in front of a house with a For Sale sign on it. Turns out, the dude just had a baby and wanted to get rid of it. Can you believe that? It's yellow! I only paid five hundred bucks for it!"

Centurion scratches his and delivers a fake smile, though the nervousness he is experiencing is plainly visible. "Yeah, sometimes something is really cheap for a reason. Who knows what's wrong with this thing? Could blow up tomorrow. I wish you would have at least called me."

"Why? So you can use your "vast knowledge" of motor vehicles to help her make an informed purchase?" Nellie quips, sarcastically.

"I mean…" Centurion begins, but he seems unsure of what he wants to say. "I…could have helped."

"Oh, please." Nellie dismisses him. "Don't let your toxic masculinity shine through now."

"Besides!" Ruby pipes up. "We wouldn't have wanted to miss this epic reveal, would we?" Ruby flashes a huge smile as she extends her arms like a frame to show off the dirt bike once more. "Surprise!"

Centurion can't help but laugh, which is always what seems to happen when he is thrust into these absurd situations lately. It's honestly what reminds him how in love he is with this woman - the fact that he can smile and laugh through moments in life that are completely out of his comfort zone is what keeps him youthful…

…well, as youthful as he can be.

Ruby walks over and kisses Centurion on the cheek before she and Erin walk into the house, leaving Centurion and Nellie to stand outside. The moment the front door closes, Nellie reaches her hand out to Centurion.

"Gimmie."

"Give you what?" Centurion questions.

"I know you're holding." Nellie responds in a demanding fashion. 

Centurion sighs as he pulls the joint out of his pocket, while Nellie simultaneously pulls out a lighter. Centurion hands the joint to Nellie, who lights it and takes a hit before handing it back to Centurion.

"A dirt bike?" Centurion says before taking his own hit.

"Yeah." Nellie laughs. "It was my idea. I thought it would be funny. Hey, at least it will get her off that damn pogo stick for a while."

"Yeah, because that smoking pile of rust and plastic is SO quiet." Centurion says, shaking his head and taking another hit before passing it back to Nellie. "I could have bought her a new dirt bike if she wanted one. It would have been no big deal."

"That's the point." Nellie says, exhaling the smoke of her hit. "Everything here is yours, for the most part. Outside of her dog and a couple of trinkets, what does she have here that you can genuinely say belongs to HER? She needs something outside of you. Something with its own identity that you didn't get for her. She's a successful person, too, and she wants to show that off once and a while."

Centurion nods, understanding what Nellie is saying. Truth be told, it isn't something Centurion ever thought about before. Everything that he's ever wanted, he just got. He barely ever receives any actual gifts. Ruby, meanwhile, is showered with gifts, thanks in part to Centurion's guilt following his failed marriage. Centurion takes another hit, before exhaling and responding to his daughter's sage wisdom.

"...but couldn't she have bought something NICE?!"

"Ha!" Nellie quickly laughs as she takes the joint out of Centurion's hand. "Like what? Do you see Ruby driving around in a Mercedes?"

"No, of course not." Centurion is quick to answer. "But she has money. I was hoping she'd spend it on something that doesn't look like it came out of Michael Graves' garage." 

Nellie takes a hit and hands the joint back to Centurion. As she exhales, she looks the bike up and down. "Nah, Graves wouldn't have anything like this. First of all, the dude doesn't own a garage. Secondly, I'd expect any vehicle he might own to be covered in barbed wire and have a nail sticking up from the seat that's just long enough to puncture his prostate."

Centurion takes a hit, but the words spoken by Nellie are so harsh that he stops halfway through his inhale and quickly releases the smoke. "That may be the most disgusting thing you've ever said in your life."

"Trust me, it's not." Nellie says with a slight laugh. "Some people are into that shit. Graves strikes me as a cock and ball torture kind of guy. The kind of guy who likes to be wrapped up like a mummy and forced to eat cigarette ashes."

Centurion looks straight ahead into the woods with a blank, dead stare, before taking one final hit of his joint and passing the rest of it over to Nellie. "Can we please stop talking about Michael Graves' sex life before I start having nightmares."

The reality of what Nellie has been saying has finally reached her own head. For the first time, she shutters, before smoking the last of the joint and brushing the remainder of the paper into the air. "Yeah, I think I freaked myself out there a bit."

—---Alright, Let's Do This Again—---

I'm going to be honest with you all - under normal circumstances, there's no way I would have accepted this match.

It's my first match back in the XWF after being on the shelf for a few months. The return match should be something special, or at the very least, something new. I look around at this roster and I see a bunch of new talent that I would love to get into the ring with. Hopefully we can make that a reality sooner rather than later.

Not that I would be opposed to the idea of facing an older talent. Someone I share history with. If Chris Page or Hunter Ryan or someone else wanted to step up and be like "yo, Cent, you want to run it back?", I would have said "yes." But Michael Graves? Under almost every other circumstance, I would wave it off, say "I've already beaten him a thousand times", and just move on.

But here's the thing about Michael Graves - the dude doesn't KNOW that I've beaten him a hundred times. And I don't mean in a "he is trying to pretend it didn't happen" way, but in a "50 First Dates" way. He legitimately doesn't think we've ever squared off in the ring before, and that fascinates me. 

Of course, just because he doesn't remember doesn't mean it didn't happen, and therein lies a massive problem that Michael Graves has. It's not just that he doesn't remember losing to me - it's that he doesn't remember he sucks. Like, he's seriously bad. Historically among the worst wrestlers we've ever had in the XWF, which is hilarious, because…

…he's challenging Raion Kido!

And it's not that he lucked his way into a contendership or something like that. No, Michael Graves - THAT Michael Graves, has come on national television and challenged the current Universal Champion to a one on one match in the year of our Lord 2022.

Are you getting how absolutely absurd that is? I'm surprised you're even still able to watch this promo and not laugh so hard your eyes explode. Anyone with Michael Graves' talent and a sliver of a sense of survival would see that that's just going to lead to an absolutely humiliating, violent beat down the likes of which we've never seen. But Gravy? New Gravy? The "snort crack off a hooker's toe in the back of a Ford Fiesta" Gravy? 

That dude has no idea he's in over his head. 

Honestly, I might be doing him a massive favor right now. It's possible that by beating the Gravester this week, he will snap out of his amnesia, remember how terrible he is, and decide against going up against Kido. Either that, or he'll realize he has no chance at beating the champ if he can't get past me.

See, I've been around long enough to accept my place in life. Too much pride will kill you, and an ego that overstates your skills is an easy way to get you laid up with an injury. I can't beat Raion Kido. At least not now. I don't know if I ever could, but I certainly can't coming off the shelf and trying to knock a little rust off. A lot of wrestlers in this business are completely interchangeable, but Kido is a bonafide superstar. If I were to formulate a list of the best wrestlers in the world, Kido would be in my top five without question. 

So a logical look at the situation would show that if you can't beat me, you sure as hell can't beat Kido, so it would be foolish to try. Of course, this is bringing logic into the equation, and I doubt Michael Graves knows what logic is, outside of a retired rapped that did a song about suicide. 

There is, however, another reason why I took this match, outside of the curiosity of facing someone whose brain has been replaced by a cinder block, and that is the opportunity to show up Johnny Hitmaker.

The only reason this opportunity is even here in the first place is because Michael Graves challenged Hide Yamazaki to a match on Savage, and Hitmaker, the ever present, ever annoying voice of the human alligator that is Hide, decided he didn't want to respond to Graves' challenge. Of course, the XWF can't MAKE Hide wrestle Graves - Hide wrestles on Madness, a brand I'm honestly surprised to hear is still on the air, and therefore there is no contractual obligations for him to show up on Savage. 

So, while Johnny is out finding his testicles, I decided it was the perfect opportunity to remind him just where the hell he is now. This isn't the UGWC - it's the XWF. The respect I had over there is 20 fold here, and the tactics that got his client over big with that audience isn't going to get him very far here. If he doesn't seize every opportunity afforded to him, he will be washed out to sea. You can't back down from Michael Graves. No way. If you can't smack him around, then you're absolutely doomed. I hope Johnny's taking notes. I normally charge for these lessons, but Johnny gets this one for free.

What's next for old Centy boy? Who the fuck knows, really. I only have one immediate target, and he's a preachy little fuck who thinks I've forgotten about him. Outside of that, I don't know what's in store for me, but I will say, you haven't seen the last of me. This match against Graves, it isn't just some exhibition to boost ratings and sell a couple tickets. This is the start of the Centurion Resurgence Tour 2022 That Is Likely To Lead Into 2023 And Hopefully Beyond. The CRT'22TILTLI'23AHB.

I'm workshopping some other names as we speak.

But that tour means nothing if I don't start it with an emphatic win, and emphatic it will be. Buckle up, XWF faithful, because this Saturday Night, you will get to see Michael Graves meet his…

…FINAL FANTASY!!!

…Again. But like, different this time, because he's a different Michael Graves. Well, not like, completely different. He has a different face, and he doesn't…you know what, never mind.