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X-treme Wrestling Federation » XWF Live! » News, Rumors, Hype, etc...
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Congrats GaRRy!
Author Message
Jenny Myst Offline
The Queen of X-Treme



XWF FanBase:
Very random

(heel alignment but liked by many; has earned respect despite breaking the rules often)


#1
06-09-2022, 01:13 PM

I just want to congratulate GaRRy 'Ray Ray' Nelson on his new book deal and subsequent national tour to promote it.

Congratulations! I know you can't read it but I'm sure everybody has told you how good it is if anybody would like to sneak preview I have a copy in my toy chest
.

[Image: GxjjAcs.gif] 
 3x
[Image: 53vkwmL.png]
FORMER, 1x AND LONGEST REIGNING (101 Days)
[Image: eRm3OdS.png]
FOREVER AND ALWAYS
[Image: lJ5ayVc.png]
2x
[Image: Jdsm6ZU.png]
2x XWF Bombshell Champion
3x XWF X-Treme Champion
3x XWF Television Champion
X- Title Briefcase Holder
War Games Captain 
Sex, Metal, Barbie, CHAOS
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[-] The following 1 user Likes Jenny Myst's post:
The Blue Tango (06-09-2022)
Thrax Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#2
06-09-2022, 07:46 PM

Still at the bottom of the ocean after the results of last Madness, the debtor in the cape rested on the ocean floor. He noticed, amidst the dying coral reefs, a collection of waterlogged books that appear to have been discarded like the waste they are. Thrax picks up one of the books before swimming out of the ocean, and all the way to shore. This swimming trip took roughly ten hours or so but the debtor in the red cape never tired! The steroids the XWF requires of it's Madness wrestlers have clearly been paying off for Thrax. When Thrax finally gets to the beach he takes the book and throws it on the ground. He rubs some sand into the pages, before suddenly, in purple ink, a message appears on one of the pages.

Want a funny time? Call me! JENNY!

Well.....I do like a good joke, and I haven't laughed once ever since Charlie and TK stuck me in this suit and sold my life to Vinnie Lane for his new show. Maybe this will be worth it...

Thrax pulls a water-proof cellphone out of his skintight suit and calls the phone number that suddenly appeared in the waterlogged pages of the book.

[Image: bFUi3wA.png]
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Jenny Myst Offline
The Queen of X-Treme



XWF FanBase:
Very random

(heel alignment but liked by many; has earned respect despite breaking the rules often)


#3
06-09-2022, 07:52 PM

Jenny picks the book up out of her chest, blowing on it to dust it off. Clearly, nobody has showed any interest in it yet except Thrax.....who?

Shame. Poor Garry.


"Since I happen to have a non wet copy....not sure where Thrax got that one-- I'll give you a sneak peak! GaRRy deserves to have his story heard!"

*Clears her throat*


"How to Score When You're A 2......Subtitle: Learning Knots"

Chapter 1: Fuck it.
Chapter 2: How to Pick Up Chicks at Cowboy Church.
Chapter 3: How to Lure in Lonely Chicks on Farmers.com: A Balance Between Truth and Lies.
Chapter 4: How to Convince Chicks that Pabst, Keystone Lite, and Natty Lite are What Grown-ups Drink.
Chapter 5: When to Break Out the Budweiser.
Chapter 6: The Art of When to Use Racist Jokes to Appear Funny and Edgy.
Chapter 7: How to Exploit Vulnerability and Insecurity.
Chapter 8: A Hole's A Hole.
Chapter 9: How to Spot a Possible Relative (That You Don't Want to Screw).
Chapter 10: If All Else Fails, There's Always Pigs at the Farm.
Chapter 11: NASCAR Tattoos that Drive Chicks Wild


THEN! Oh yes, there is a then.....

It is all blank pages for the next 57 chapters filled with hand drawn depictions of country lifestyle! I am pretty sure they are drawn with crayon. AHH! My heart!

There is a stick figure spitting tobacco. A stick figure beating another stick figure with hair. A picture of two stick figures with 13 smaller stick figures around them. Sloppy renditions of RAM, CHEVY, FORD and GMC logos. I think those were in colored pencil. A stick figure with a big belly and a black eye. The word abortion, spelled wrong multiple times. Mitch McConnell and Rand Paul laying naked on a checkered blanket, having a picnic, with a big heart in the background. And SO MUCH MORE!

Chapter 69 *There's no way there wouldn't be a chap 69 in this book, even if there wasn't a 68.

Real riveting stuff folks! I am giving away a free copy to the first lucky XWF member to inquire, because, lets be honest, its not worth selling. You'd get more for an Arby's rapper with the sauce still in it.

So, again, if interested, you know where to find me! I can't imagine this item lasting very long!"

[Image: GxjjAcs.gif] 
 3x
[Image: 53vkwmL.png]
FORMER, 1x AND LONGEST REIGNING (101 Days)
[Image: eRm3OdS.png]
FOREVER AND ALWAYS
[Image: lJ5ayVc.png]
2x
[Image: Jdsm6ZU.png]
2x XWF Bombshell Champion
3x XWF X-Treme Champion
3x XWF Television Champion
X- Title Briefcase Holder
War Games Captain 
Sex, Metal, Barbie, CHAOS
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