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(01-22-2013)

It started off as a beautiful night.

Mattaki drove me around, taking in the scenic view. He liked to drive; he enjoyed doing it with me. We would sit in silence. It was comfortable, safe and there was warmth like no other to it.

It was his birthday. He wanted to go to one of his favourite restaurants. He had a lot of favourites in Japan but the one that he favoured above all others was Aragawa, a little steak house in Tokyo's Shinbashi district.

The thing with that restaurant to begin with is that it is very expensive. Like, you'd spend a whole month's salary going there. When you get there though, you'd be wondering if you are at the right place. The restaurant is found at the end of a dark hallway in the basement of an office building. No valet parking or other fancy stuff.

Only a select few people know of it.

We've been there before, their steak really is good.

But tonight, when Mattaki and I got there, there were a few men, bulky men with guns on their belt, waiting at the front. I held Mattaki's hand tighter, unsure of what was going on.

They wouldn't let us in.

Mattaki started speaking in Japanese to them. From the little I've learnt of Japanese, I could only understand that Mattaki was demanding to have an explanation about what they were doing. They spoke back, aggressively. Mattaki seemed angry.

They argued back and forth for a few more minutes before what looked like the leader of the bulky men showed Mattaki his hand gun. Mattaki was not impressed but wasn't going to engage in a fight with him and his men. Maybe because he didn't want to risk me getting hurt. He could be quite overprotective sometimes.

In the end, Mattaki led us out of there. We didn't speak until we were back in the car.

"What happened?" I asked.

Mattaki didn't answer. He was angry. I had never seen him this angry before. It was a bit scary.

"Mattaki?"

His grip on the wheel tightened.

"My father," he said. "That's what happened."

It didn't take a rocket scientist to understand. You see, Mattaki's father, his family, didn't approve of us. Yeah, I know, what a shocker. But until now, Mr. Fukushuu hadn't done anything against us. He did have a chat once with Mattaki, but it didn't go the way he had wished. Mattaki stayed with me.

"I guess he's grown tired of waiting for you to change your mind about me," I said, smiling a bit, trying to lighten up the mood.

"He's such a typical son of a..." Mattaki trailed off, probably unable to bring himself to insult his family like that. "He waits until my birthday to attack. Him and his affection for symbolism. I bet you he now considers today as the day his son died."

"Don't let him get to you," I said. "Let's go have dinner somewhere else. There are plenty of other great restaurants here."

"Don't you get it?!" He snapped back. "He has connections everywhere. This is nothing! We are not going to be welcomed in any of the places I'm used to. I'd be surprised if I can even get into a brothel now!"

I looked away, silent. I tried to remember the last time Mattaki snapped like that at me. I couldn't.

We ended up back at our luxurious apartment. Mattaki went straight to the bedroom with the phone in his hand, slamming the door behind him. He was calling his father. I knew it wasn't going to make the night any better.

So, to pass the time, I decided that no matter what, Mattaki was going to have his birthday dinner. We faced tougher stuff than Mr. Fukushuu. We went toe to toe with James Raven and Big Shank, two of the biggest legends of the XWF. This is nothing. Nothing.

After about two hours or so, Mattaki emerged from the bedroom. He threw the phone on the nearest sofa. He was tired. Exhausted from the fight he just had with his father. Then he turned to the kitchen and saw it... My work.

"What the..." he was a little bit speechless. Good, that's the effect I wanted.

He approached the table I had set. Two burning candles. Nice plates. Next to the table was a tray of different dishes. I managed to make 5 during the time he was on the phone.

He then looked at me. I was grinning. Happy to ignore the issue with his family for tonight. He smiled.

"Pfft, now we really need to go to a restaurant," he said finally. "All this stuff looks overcooked and burnt!"

"You... JERK!" I threw the kitchen towel at his face. "I've worked hard on this! You better enjoy it!"

He laughed. That was nice to see.

"You're a goob," he said.

That's when he pulled me in close to him and kissed me.

"I'm starving," he said.

"Well, there's plenty of food here," I said back, proud of myself.

"We'll get to the food," he replied, with a smirk. "I have to satisfy my other - more pressing - hunger first."

"Oh my God, you're so lame!" I grinned.

There it was again, that warmth...

As if anybody could ever break us apart! Ha!

"Neptune-san...?"

I opened my eyes. Night had fallen. It felt late. I grabbed my phone to check out the time.

It was late.

Hisoka was at my door. He nodded and stepped back into the kitchen. I felt like crap. But I guess it'd be uncool to leave Hisoka by himself out there.

"This came for you, by the way," said Hisoka to me as I walked back into the brightness of the living room of the crappy apartment. "It's Sebastian Duke's latest promo. You should watch it. He went and burnt down a residential building thinking it was where we lived."

"Oh?" I was half-listening really. Something about Pukey burning down something. I put the tape in the VHS player (yes, I'm that poor, fuck you) and watch that promo.

Once I was done, and had a bit of a giggle, I grabbed my phone and dialed a number.

"Hi? Can I please speak to someone in charge of the case of the recent arson on that residential building?" I asked over the phone. Hisoka shot me a look and smiled. I think it was pretty obvious what I was doing. "Oh, hello. I just wanted to give you a tip on that case. I don't know if you're aware but there's a man in the wrestling company called XWF, his name is Sebastian Duke, and he has recently released video footage of him burning down that building. Yes, it's available on the XWF website if you want to check. It's not every day you get an easy case like that, I bet, eh? Oh, that's alright. You're more than welcome."

I hung up, happy with myself. God, that Sebastian guy is one stupid motherfucker.

"I'm glad to see a smile on your face, Neptune-san," said Hisoka. "I hope you're hungry. I made a bit of a feast."

That's when I realised that Hisoka had been quite busy in the kitchen. There was a lot of food on that tiny dinner table. Noodles, beef stir-fry, rice, spring rolls, honey chicken...

"Whoa... what's that about? We can't afford this!" I said.

"When you know the Chinese shop owner, it's not that expensive really," replied Hisoka. "I hope you'll like my cooking. I have many skills and cooking could be one of them. I'm not sure yet."

I stared at the food. I could feel something stirring in me.

"Is everything all right, Neptune-san?" asked Hisoka when he noticed tears in my eyes.

"Yeah," I answered. "Just a memory."

While some people try to avoid clichés and overused ideas, others, like Sebastian Duke, actually runs to them, embraces them, waters them, watches them grow into even bigger clichés and then fucks the shit out of them and make cliché babies. That's how much of a drag that Pukefest of a promo he made actually is. Good God, Pukey, you really go for the obvious, don't you? You wear the outfit of a senior citizen sadomasochist and go around burning down shit. Man, I can't believe just how stupid you are.

Do you seriously believe that I will reveal my REAL home location to the XWF? Really? The same company that hosts the likes of Grimoire Xmyles? That guy was a fucking lunatic who went around stealing babies from pregnant women's vaginas and smashing their skulls with a sledgehammer. You know, someone who actually IS scary. He even drank vomit. Ugh. You think I'd be dumb enough to let the likes of him get his hands on my home address? Gee, you're one slowpoke, aren't you, Pukey? Congrats on burning down a random building. By the way, you DO realize that since you've shot a video of yourself burning that building that it is incriminating evidence? That because you're a WRESTLER who has a known schedule; you will be very easy to find by the authorities? No amount of bullshit and animal sacrifice is going to help you get out of that mess. You can't even somehow make the XWF pay the authorities to 'forget' the video because I don't see the company going bankrupt for your sake. In fact, I can imagine Shane

easily use that as promotion for the company. Sending you to jail will make headlines. 'Neverbeen star goes to jail for stupidly filming himself building down a residential building'.

But then of course, after you realise just how much of a fool you've made yourself to be, you're going to claim that it was fake. All staged. Probably ask me something dumb like 'How do you know this was a real building?' Which you know, is quite fair. You can easily stage something like that. But in the end, what is the result? You prove me to be right. You're a phony Godfather wannabe who uses cheap tactics to paint himself as some sort of threat. You're like the Katy Perry of XWF. Lots of flashy effects to cover up the fact that you're a talentless whore. So, which one is it, Pukey? Did you prove that you were a phony or did you just make such a blunder that it'll end your career pretty much instantly? Please, do tell.

In any case, the police should be on their way now to question you. I'm sure you'll find a way to get out of their grasp. Who knows, they might even let you off the hook if you do to them what you do to Asmodeus.

Yeah, I'm going there again. You know why? Because it pisses you off. You don't have a poker face, Pukey. Your feelings are written in bold over that fugly face of yours. You're mad at me because I called you out on that creepy Daddy obsession you have. Speaking of obsessions, you go on about my feet. You think I like to have my toes sucked? That I get off from it? Duh. I love being worshipped. Mattaki, my boyfriend, is great at licking me from head to toe and even better at putting his tongue into my shithole. That stuff feels great. You should ask Asmoredux to try that move on you. Might loosen you up. You sure sound like a constipated motherfucker. It might also help you think with a clearer head. Because once you start saying stuff like "Planet Pluto accepting a demotion to be away from Planet Neptune", it is time to call in the men in white. Pukey, I am not a planet. Pluto is not a person. Astronomy has nothing to do with us, or wrestling for that matter. Even as a metaphor, it is absolutely dumb as shit and makes no sense at all. You sure managed to make yourself sound even more

than usual, but man, it is kind of pathetic. You really are not good at insulting people, eh?

You'd think it couldn't get any worse... but oh, it does and so much so. You go on about Jesus being real or not. You probably should go clean out your ears while you get your brain checked out because, Pukey, I don't give a shit if the guy you crucified was Justin Bieber playing Jesus Christ. You tried to be seen as evil and threatening and you failed. You failed so badly. You paint yourself as some villain leader... and yet you're nothing more than the butt of a joke that's already been stretched beyond its limits. I laughed a lot at your expense and now I just feel sorry for you. I truly do. You believe so much in what you're doing. You should play violin music during your promos; it'd suit them so well. You'll get those Goths bawling their eyes for you. That's how pathetic you are.

If you really think you stand a chance against me, Pukey, think about this. Griffin MacAlister beat you. He beat the shit out of you. I've made him my bitch. You know what that means, don't you? I've bitchslapped the guy who bitchslapped you to the fucking mat. You think you have what it takes to best me? You couldn't even beat Griffin. You couldn't beat Ursula, of all people. That's what I mean, see, I don't know whether to laugh or feel pity for you. You think your threats hold any weight in the balance with that sort of track record? I am a former Hart champion, Tag team champion and current X-Treme champion. I'm a real threat. I don't need to crucify anybody to strike fear and apprehension in my enemies' hearts. They hear my name and it's enough for them to either run for the hills or get busy going to that gym, hoping that an intense bout of working out will give them the edge they need to be on the same level as me. They ultimately fail, but kudos to them for at least trying.

Pukey, as I said before, if you all you care about is kidnapping, arson, torture, and all that shit, maybe you're in the wrong line of business. This is wrestling. This is legal. Maybe you should fuck off to Colombia or the ghettos and try your hand at being the Godfather there. In the XWF? You just sound like another douchebag with a massive delusion of grandeur. Your repartee is summed up by you being so bland it makes the dialogue from that turd of a movie that is Twilight sound like great shit. All you do is say the contrary of what I say. That's it. You do nothing else and you say it with that high horse tone of yours which is laughable in itself as everybody knows there's nothing superior about you. Oh, sorry, there is one other thing you do. You make shit up. Apparently I called you a racist? I'm sure you probably are but man, open your fucking ears, I didn't mention the word 'racist' or 'racism' in my last promo. What kind of leader do you expect to be? Is your idol George W. Bush? Is that the kind of leader you look up to? God, you suck even more than I thought.

Anyway, Pukey, it is clear to me that you're dumber than a sack of shit and as talented and skilled as one. I know you think you're badass with your biker hairdo, your goatee and your zippo lighters... but I'm afraid it is time to wake up and smell my feet. I know you think you're going to give me a boner, I do realise that there's some homoerotic aspect to your whole business; you kidnap a man, tie him up, make him sweat, and tell him you're about to change him forever like a man popping the cherry of a virgin BUT I'm afraid I'm going to have to burst your fucking bubble. For one; you're not my type, two; I'm already taken and three; man, I have fucking standards, no way I'll end up with someone who gets beaten up by a fucking couch potato followed by a woman... Eesh.

To sum it up, phony bastard, you're going down, just like Griffin MacAlister, Nio, Triggaman, Yan Yungsung and many more before them. You're going down, beaten and bloodied, choking on my toes and tapping out like a bitch. You can pretend you're not scared, you can go around burning down shit and getting your ass arrested and you even go around kidnapping people who are so lazy they can't even be bothered fighting back in any shape or form. Yes, you can keep feeding your delusions, but here's the thing... You can't run or hide from the truth. The truth is; I'm going to beat you down like the bitch that you are. And who knows, Sebastian, you just might enjoy having my beautiful instruments of destruction in your mouth. Defeat may taste awful but I've been told my feet taste... exquisite. Believe me, Pukey, nothing is going to be able to make you forget the way I taste. I hope you have your dumbass followers on stand-by because...

Shit is about to get real.

~|~ The Deadliest Weapons Will Bring Your End ~|~

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