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X-treme Wrestling Federation BOARDS » Savage Boards » "Savage Saturday Night" RP Board
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Suits Don't Fit
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Jenny Myst Online now or has been in the last 30 mins
Active in XWF

XWF FanBase:
Very random

(heel alignment but liked by many; has earned respect despite breaking the rules often)

Post: #1
05-13-2022 09:22 PM

The customer service lines were always annoyingly long. People are funny creatures. They love buying this in this consumer country, but Jenny was convinced that what people loved more than buying things, returning them. Returning them and bitching. The word refund thrown around like baseballs at a little league game. No real direction, but eventually reaching their target.

Karen’s are real creatures, too. What a way to ruin a perfectly good name. Jenny stood, her wilted suit over her arm, black lipstick standing out in the fluorescent light of the store. She crossed her arms, tapped her foot, sighed. Everyone around her stood with crossed arms, tapping feet, audible sighs. Not her. She stood proud and at attention. Her back straight, her shoulders broad. A semblance of a smile on her face. She had all the time in the world. Life was too short to be a grumpy pants.

Plus, she enjoyed people watching! Friday evenings should be dedicated to people watching from now on!

She reminded herself to mark it in her calendar, but she chuckled to herself because she knew she wouldn’t.

She looked around. The line was surrounded by small sections of clothes, most of which were being picked through by overzealous women, sometimes dragging bored and annoyed children with them, as they combed the area for the best 2 for 1 deal possible. Like zombie machines. Mindless.


Like her.

She looked back in front of her. Only two ahead of her now, but they just had that “give me what I want or I will make a scene” look about them. This could take a while, but could also be hilarious.

She thrived off others' misery.

The two women in front of her, however, got through their bitchfest pretty quickly. Too quickly for her liking. Processed returns for some gym shorts and a few tees. Basic. Simple. Boring.

When it was her turn she squealed a little internally and put a pep into her step. Walking up to the middle aged woman (who was still working a minimum wage job and told everyone she knows how badly it pays but refuses to leave), who was wearing a headset and a nametag on a lanyard that said “Sharon”.

Close enough.

“Hello mam. Welcome to Kohls. How can I assist you today?” Her voice was flat, like any spirit she may have had when she punched in today had been beaten out of her. Just going through the motions. Dull, lacking personality, just like her opponent this week.

Jenny just stared at her for a moment, directly into her brown eyes. Tilting her head slightly, she was trying to put everything together. Like the woman was a jigsaw puzzle, all the pieces on the floor, and it was her job to put them all back together.

Humpty Dumpty or some shit.

“Mam?” the woman spoke up, breaking Jenny of her trance.

“Mam, did you need to return something?”

This seemed to wake the blonde up.

“Yes–I–uh–I was looking to return this. I am small, as you can see, and I grabbed a size a bit too large. It is not as snug as I would like it to be, ya know?”

The woman looked at her with a skeptical look. Then down at the tan shall across her forearm, then back at her.

“And you purchased that here, mam?”

She nodded, never breaking her gaze.

“Mmm….alright. Let me see it?” She stuck her hand off, asking Jenny to put the–what she assumed was an article of clothing–into her hand. "And do you still have the receipt?”

Jenny pulled it off her arm, not missing a beat. “Was hoping maybe you could look it up with the SKU number. Those darn receipts, ya know? Just end up as garbage.” She laughed a little. Sharon did not.

“If you guys can help me out, that sure would be swell!”

When her hands met the ‘fabric’, her face twisted. She looked horrified as if she had just witnessed a fatal car crash.

No survivors.

“I–I don’t think’--” she ran the item through her fingers, examining the texture.

“You’re supposed to bring a receipt!” Someone said angrily behind her. “I don’t want to be here all day!”

Another chimed in with “just take your money and go!”

People were so lovely. She smiled at the woman.

“I really like it, its just a bit too large. I would like a store credit if possible–maybe get a different that fits my frame better.”

Sharon looked like someone just punted a baby and she was the only one to see it.

“Give me a moment, mam.” The last part of mam was a tad on the shaky side. There were groans of inconvenience behind Jenny, and some sighs, as the woman took the item with her into the back. As soon as the door closed, Sharon gagged. With a shaky hand she reached for her cell phone out of her bag. Her hands could barely dial the number for the local police department.

Meanwhile, while Sharon was in the back, the Loss Prevention officer came from the next door over. He had gotten the item from Sharon, and he walked to the desk. “So, you purchased this here, in our store?”

Jenny’s eyes lit up.

“Oh, hello sir! My name is Jennifer. What is your name?”

He didn’t have a nametag on.

“I really do not see how that is of any relevance.”

Well, that's just rude! Rudey rudey rude!”

His eyes narrowed. “So you got this here?”

“Yes! And I have an entire trunk full of them, but I figured I would start with one and go from there.”

He grumbled something and went into the back, where Sharon was on the phone with authorities.

“--Human skin. Yes. I believe it human skin.”

“I don’t KNOW that it is. I have never felt human skin like off of a body……but….yes I believe it may be.”

“I don’t know..I DON’T KNOW I just need an officer down here!”

“Is she still here? I mean the last I checked……”

She walked to the door leading back out to the main store. She gasped audibly when she noticed the strange blond with the pink highlights and black lipstick was nowhere to be seen.

“Where is the girl that was just here?!” she snapped.

One of the frustrated returners in line gave the thumb up and motioned to the door. “She split.”

The no name Loss Prevention officer had left the skin suit on the desk. It, too, was missing.

“Took her shit and left, which I am about to do if someone doesn’t help me right now!”

They folded their arms.

“I…..I guess she’s gone” Sharon said into the phone, looking down at a small Post-It that sat on the now vacant desk.


"You know, Lex, part of me actually felt bad for you. Part of me, somewhere deeeeeep down inside, actually felt bad for what I was going to do to you on Saturday Night. You proved to me, the moment you opened your stupid mouth, just how stupid you really are.




You deserve everything you're going to get and more, missy. Because you need to be educated on how things work around here on the shows that matter. You need to be schooled on how things work. Leave it up to moi to be the teacher, the judge, the jury, and damn sure the executioner. Leave it up to me to be the one to make you run back to Madness with your tail between your chubby thighs, whimpering and bruised. Leave it up to me to take you out of your comfort zone and give you a painful reminder about why I have lasted here for so long.

Ask Xavier how his nose is, I bet you'll get an entertaining--yet nasally--response.

Leave it up to me to show you why Charlie Nickles picked ME to follow in his legacy as Television Champion. Leave it up to me to show you why I have been smack in the middle of the best storyline in the XWF right now. Leave it up to me to show you why you'll never take even a baby step in my Doc Martin's.

Just another waste of smooth skin and estrogen! So frustrating that we can't get a single decent women's competitor on this roster! I never thought I'd say I MISSED Betsy Granger and Gerri Vayden. At least in my Shooting Star days I had a division with purpose, red hot, with all eyes on us. Now? Shit, its back me against the world because not a single woman on this roster is worth a plate of piss.

Just a shame, honestly.

*rolls her eyes putting her palm on her forehead*

“Why did you let me go off on that rant?! I am so far off course you won’t find me on the final. I wanted to really dive deep into what Lexi Gold had to say in that little doo-ditty she called a promo, but there really is no diving to be done. It is the shallow end all the way through. The only thing that stuck out to me was the fact that she mentioned I BIT Demo’s ear off. BIT. Do you actually think I would put my mouth on that creature? I would rather pull up to the pump and deep throw the gas nozzle.

For $5 a gallon.

Thanks Joe!

Lexi this is a trial run. You need to learn to swim. You’re the baby without swimmies and I am throwing you into the pool. Do you pop back up or do you sink to the bottom? It was the way I had to learn. It is the way we should all have to learn. Way too much entitlement around here. Way too many people walking around with their heads up their asses because they know this person or know that person.

Oh trust me, I am going to make sure that nobody forgets you. We are the matinee, sweetie. The opener. We draw blood before the kiddies are even tucked into their beddybies! Nobody is going to forget what happens out there tomorrow night, and nobody is going to forget the name Lexi Gold! It is going to be so brutal that Vinnie may even lose his TV deal! Sorry in advance budday."

*she mouths ‘sorry’ with big old puppy eyes*

“You said standing across from me is both intimidating and piques your interest. Well, you’re beaten already. If you are intimidated by me from jump street, you’ll never be able to pull yourself out of that hole. And here is a little life hack for going forward in the future….even if you ARE scared, you don’t say it on camera for the entire world to hear. That puts you behind the 8 ball and loses you respect in this business.”

“She gasps*


Oh my god…is it that obvious? Well I guess that just means I am doing it right. The fact that you had to put on a ‘gimmick’ to act even remotely like me means that you weren’t really invested, weren’t were trying…….

You were….


This is me Lexi. Do you think I WANT to be this way? I had everything going for me. My Shooting Star title, my women’s division, my new found breakoff from the toxic slug that is Chris Chaos. Not to mention TV and commercial deals, movie roles and a SHOE LINE. Yes, I HAD MY OWN SHOE LINE. But because the pressure got too heavy on me, because everything started to pile on these shoulders at once, I had a massive mental breakdown and ended up in a cell 23 hours a day talking to the ghosts and humming along to the orchestra inside my head. I lost everything. Eat your heart of Johnny Dep.

Too bad these skin suits never fit me. I have always been my own person, sometimes to a fault.

Why oh why would you ever want to be like me? Get your scantron out and fill in D: You wouldn’t. Stop trying to sound cool and pretending that mental health is a ‘gimmick’ because I replace all your teeth with actual Chiclets, just to knock them back out again."

*intense look into the camera*

"This isn't just a lesson on skill and desire, it is a lesson on hate and malice. I have hate in my heart, Lex. I don't want to, but I do. At first it scared me, I didn't know what to do with it. I am getting better with channeling it now, and distributing it properly. Now, I use it to make friends. Do you want to be my friend? For your sake...

I hope not."

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