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Tonight's Sermon: Blasphemy
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Team MAGA Offline
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(boring as fuck; promos act as sleeping medicine; never recognized in public)


Post: #1
05-11-2022 07:16 PM

Cheneyville.

That's not the official name of the town in George County, Mississippi run by Father Jefferson Cheney, but it is what everyone calls it. That is because everyone in this remote town are either family members, or followers of Cheney and his message. If you were to ask them, they would tell you it's not a cult. It just really feels like one.

Inside the old church, all the residents of the town have gathered to listen to another one of Father Cheney's sermons. They all patiently sit in their chairs, waiting for the preacher to arrive. Cheney, however, is standing just outside the church, having a meeting with four others. Three are instantly recognizable - O. Bay T-Law, Bartholomew Lichter, and Clyde Cheney. The fourth is the newest member of the group, as announced on Twitter - Donald Barnette. Lichter wipes the sweat off of his forehead.

"It's really hot. Did we need to wear suits?"

"Yes. Now pay attention. This speech is going to be one of the most impactful speeches I've ever given, and it is going to be broadcast to a national audience. There's going to be a lot of shine on you, Boots. Do NOT let me down."

"I won't. Now…what do you want me to do?"

"I want you to stand there and shut up. Look good. And stop sweating."

Cheney turns around and walks into the church, with Clyde and Barnette following him. Lichter looks over at T-Law, who just laughs at him.

"Yeah Boots. Don't sweat."

T-Law pats him on the back and walks in, and a nervous looking Lichter is the last one who walks into the building. Father Cheney steps onto a stage in front of an alter and behind a podium, with Clyde, T-Law, and Barnette all standing at the steps to the stage, acting as pseudo bodyguards. As soon as Cheney steps onto the stage, the entire gathering stands up and looks forward in silence. Lichter takes a deep breath and follows Cheney onto the stage, and Cheney extends his arms to the crowd, causing them all to sit back down.

"Friends! Family! Believers! I know you have all been fretting for the past two years. I have been right there beside you, holding back the tide of immorality that has threatened our daily lives. But recently, we have made advances in this war. The sanctity of life in this country will be protected!"

The crowd cheers in a loud roar, but Cheney does not stop his sermon.

"Soon, it will be the sanctity of marriage, and the sanctity of worship that will be defended and honored in this country! Day by day, we grow stronger! Day by day, the army of rightousneness adds more victories. And we will not let up until the forces of communism are slain!"

The crowd continues to roar in approval. Cheney looks back at Lichter to make sure he is where he needs to be, then raises his arms to the crowd. Immediately the crowd quiets down and they get back in their seats.

"I am the Lord thy God! Thou shalt have no other gods besides me! The very first commandment handed down from God to Moses. This week, the Moral Army of Godly Americans faces down the challenge of someone who breaks that very commandment. Someone who calls himself "Lord." Lord Raab, the heretic! To even grant himself such a title is blasphemy! We are lucky, though, believers. We have with us the soldier that will carry our banner into battle! The man who slain Centurion! The man who defeated Dolly! Batholomew Lichter!"

The people in the church cheer again as Cheney gestures towards Lichter. Lichter takes a deep breath and stands up straight, not exactly sure what to do at that moment. He puts his arms behind his back as if he is standing at attention.

"The man who calls himself Lord will be the one seeking salvation by the end of the week. After Boots defeats him, he will be standing in front of God, begging for forgiveness. And it will be the Lord - the REAL Lord - who gets to decide whether or not he burns in Hell. Some people believe in karma. Some believe in destiny. Family, friends…I believe in divinity. Some of us have been CHOSEN to root out the evil that has plagued this world. Bartholomew Lichter isn't just a premier athlete who works hard to improve his craft. He was blessed by God to bring glory to our cause! Let me ask you, believers. Who do you think God favors? The man who calls himself "Lord"?

The crowd boos and collectively yells "no!"

"The man who stands against the warriors of rightousneness?!"

Again, the crowd yells "no!"

"Or, the man who has dedicated his life to cleansing this world of its impurities?!"

The crowd cheers and screams "yes!"

"This is not about skill! It is not about physical strength! It's about the SOUL! Raab may be big. He may be strong. But nothing, and no one, is strong enough to break out faith and our connection to the divine! And after Bartholomew Lichter destroys Raab and makes him pay for his blasphemy, the movement will grow that much stronger. And soon, we will TAKE THIS COUNTRY BACK! GLORY TO GOD!"
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