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MADNESS #4
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"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane Online now or has been in the last 30 mins
The Guy
*********
Administrators



XWF FanBase:
Some of everyone

(cheered; very rarely plays dirty but isn't lame either; many likable qualities)


Post: #1
05-04-2022 08:17 PM

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FROM NOME, ALASKA!







DEATHMATCH DIVISION



THE FOURTH XWF MADNESS LORD OF VIOLENCE MATCH...
IGLOO OF INSANITY!

HIDE YAMAZAKI

JACKI O'LANTERN

HOMER "THE HUMANOID" SAPIEN

OLIVER TAYLOR

VITA VALENTEEN






GEMINI DIVISION



DEATH RATTLE VS. P.W.T.

THE DISINTIGRATORS VS. 2BROKECHICKS

DA BING BONG TWINZZ VS. THEMIS PALAESTRA

MAD RHYMES & MOLLY BARNES VS. BGTL & ???







IDL DIVISION

LI'L JUICY VS. JOHNNY MIAMI

MYRA RIVERS VS. DARREN DANGEROUS

SIERRA SILVER VS. CHRIS "DOC" DOCHERTY

JOSSLYN SPENCER (w/ Jason Cashe) VS. LEXI GOLD VS. "SPOILED" SUMMER PAGE

FOR THE IDL CHAMPIONSHIP... IN A STEEL CAGE!



"THE V.I.P." CHRIS MOSH VS. ELIJAH COPELAND




Hello hello! Marv Smegma here… I’ve got your exclusive Madness backstage interviews as well as ALL the rumors surrounding the XWF… which you can hear all about just by dialing our XWF tipline! Don’t miss it! Call today!


[mad]PRE-SHOW DARK MATCHES:

Big Preesh & BMI def. Calypso and Jamaican Jimmy Via Big Brain Chop (Match Time 8:33)

Terry Borden def. Job Guy Via Atomic Leg Drop of Death (Match Time 1:34)

Little Miss Sunshine and Pebbles defeated My Buddy & Kid Sister Via Rock, Paper, Scissor (Match Time 6:54)

Pre-Show Main Event:

bX3 defeated The Big Upps Via FaceHugger (Match Time 5:57)


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Welcome to Madness… Bath, are you loving it here in Alaska?!

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I am freezing my nuts off, Jacuinde, but you already knew that since you can hear my teeth chattering. I’m ready to heat this place UP!

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We are all set to get our night started here in a moment, Bath, and we have a great mix of singles as well as tags to enjoy!

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Right off the bat we have two fellas who have each been struggling to get their footing in the singles ranks. Each one is looking to get their foot in the door for a potential title opportunity… but every journey starts with a single step, or in the case of these guys, a single W!


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VS.
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The opening riff of Jan Hammer's Miami Vice theme song starts playing as Johnny Miami slowly makes his way out from behind the curtain. He stands at the top of the entry way staring out at the crowd until about the 32 second mark of the song at which point he walks down to the ring, slapping hands with the fans lined up along the entry way the whole time. Once Johnny gets to the ring he slowly ascends the stops, walks along the ring apron and then steps through the top and middle ropes before posing in the center of the ring for a few seconds as the song comes to a close.





Li’l Juicy bops out from behind the curtain and makes his way to the ring to loud cheers. Right before getting into the ring he produces a tee shirt cannon from somewhere and blasts a short up into the stands. The kid it hammers in the face falls out of frame, but he’s probably fine.
Juicy tosses the cannon aside and then slides into the ring, raising his arms over his head as his music keeps bumping.


DING!

Some back and forth devolves quickly into brawling, and the larger Juicy ends up in control pretty quickly.

Miami is tossed about and slammed face first into the mat with a toss to the air, but he does manages to gain control after reversing an irish whip into a corner. It leads to Miami yelling “Kobe” and then diving forearm first into Juicy’s face, and then driving him down with a bulldog headlock. The ensuing pin attempt gets a kickout at two, though, and Miami looks frustrated.

Johnny Miami decides to try to end things early and springboards into the ring with the WELCOME TO MIAMI forearm… but he gets speared out of his boots by Li’l Juicy! Literally! Miami’s boots are sent flying out of the ring while Miami, in socks, coughs and grabs his ribs… and then Juicy drops him with the ESSKEETIT snap DDT!

While Miami tries to regain his composure, Li’l Juicy heads to the top. As soon as Miami is back on his stockinged feet, Juicy is there with LET THE JUICES FLOW! The flying DDT from the top plants Miami as Juicy hooks a leg and scores the 1-2-3!


WINNER - LI’L JUICY

(Match Time 4:32)




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Madness cuts to the backstage area where a confident Myra Rivers is standing by. There is definitely some excitement in the air as far as she is concerned and some of the fans are pulling for her as she begins to express her thoughts.

Myra Rivers: I’ve been looking forward to tonight, there’s no sugar coating that. If you know me, there’s no introduction needed. But for those that don’t, I’m Myra Rivers, a Miami girl that kicks a lot of ass… okay that’s kind of simplistic but I’ve been doing this wrestling thing for a long time. I’ve won my fair share of titles, 20 in fact, I’ve won my fair share of world titles. I’ve been around the world many times over and I’ve done so many wonderful things. I’m proud to call myself a second generation wrestler and a long time veteran having been on the mainstream myself for over 14 years. What brings me here, of course, is the fact that I definitely feel like I’m in the prime of my career and ready to take on some new competition. I’ve met some of you here on Madness before in other places so you have a taste of what I can do…

But for me, the best part of my career is just getting started and I’m not planning on wasting this debut tonight against Darren Dangerous. Intriguing name if I say so myself, to say the least. Yeah, I may be a Miami girl completely out of her geographic comfort zone here being all the way in Alaska of all places, you might be bigger than me and you may come from an ultraviolet background and if you think that’s going to scare me? Forget it. I’ve been through so many ultraviolet style matches in my own career from exploding barbwire, to extreme chambers and even in match types that were created by my opponents themselves.

For the most part, I’ve always been a fearless, rebellious competitor throughout my career and tonight is the first taste that XWF is going to get from that. I know what I can do and I know what I am capable of when my heart and mind is set on accomplishing something. I’ve realized some big dreams over my career and here in XWF, I’m planning on realizing more. This is a new beginning that I am excited about, no question about that. You can try to kill me all you want Darren, but many people have tried to kill my career over the years and that includes before my career even got started in the first place. I’ve always been someone that believes in what I do and what I am all about and that’s going to be on full display tonight when I show what I’m made of in an XWF ring…

Myra delivers a bit of a confident wink before she heads off for her debut match and the scene fades to black.

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Confidence from the newcomer… but she’s not new to this business and has seen her share of Darren Dangerouses in her career!

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But is there truly anyone like Darren Dangerous? I’ve seen this guy show UP to the match bleeding already… the man thrives on pain!!

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He does indeed. A true clash of styles right here right now - I can’t wait!

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You just want Myra’s autograph, Jacuinde, you’re lame!


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VS.
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Double D enters the stage with an arm raised then lowers it as he walks to the ring. When he enters the ring he steps up onto the middle turnbuckle and crosses arms above his head and flashes the devil horns





Myra Rivers emerges with a smile as the fans blow up. It’s obvious she has people in the crowd familiar with her career, with one person in the front row holding a sign saying AND FINALLY… MYRA IS HERE!

Rivers saunters down to the ring slapping hands as the crowd continues to cheer for the SCW star. She gets to the ring and looks across at the sneering Darren Dangerous, who is somehow already busted open.



DING!

This one starts off with a bang as Dangerous charges across the ring and tackles Myra, grinding his forearm into her face. Dangerous obviously wants to get things as violent as possible as quickly as possible, and he tries to use ground and pound to wear the veteran out before his own stamina runs low.

Dangerous looks to headbutt Rivers right through the mat but she gets clear, causing DD to slam his own dome into the ring. He doesn’t seem to mind, even with the big splatter of red blood he leaves behind. When he stands up and eats a VIXEN KICK, he finds himself on the defensive for the next several minutes of technical display from the newcomer.

Rivers keeps Dangerous on his heels with numerous maneuvers but fails to secure a three count after several pinfall attempts. Rivers works a number of submission holds but the deathmatch specialist never even looks like he’s considering giving up. In fact, he looks like he enjoys every bit of the pain she puts him in.

A scary moment happens when Darren Dangerous tackles Myra Rivers through the ropes and sends her flying through a merchandise table at ringside… but although it’s close, Rivers does manage to get back into the ring before the count of ten. Dangerous angrily argues with the official who admonishes him for using hardcore tactics in a standard match - something that will certainly hit Double D in the wallet once Tula Keali’i gets involved.


Dangerous wants to put Rivers away after she limps back into the ring and he grabs her, looking for the STRANGER DANGER… but Myra twists free and spirals Dangerous to the mat with her SPIRIT BREAKER corkscrew neckbreaker, and after that it’s just a textbook cover for the 1-2-3!


WINNER - MYRA RIVERS

(Match Time 7:28)




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Outstanding debut! I can’t wait to see what Myra Rivers shows us next!

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I’m just glad Darren didn’t try to bring a nail gun or a gun to the ring or something. Myra showed him and the world that she’s tough enough to get things done!!

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Up next we’ve got a really exciting team match… 2 Broke Chicks, who came THIS close to taking the Gemini Titles, against a grizzled veteran team that’s been wrestling as a duo in five different decades - The Disintigrators!

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Five!? Jesus, I didn’t know they were that old…


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VS.
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Ikura ikura ikura ore no kachi wa ikura!
Run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up!
Ikura ikura ikura ore no kachi wa ikura!
Run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up, run it up!

ANARCHY's "Run It Up" comes on over the PA system as the arena lights dim down, bringing all attention to the lighting on and around the stage. Everyone’s attention is on the entrance curtain when, all of a sudden, an air horn like the one heard from a fire engine BLASTS through the arena. From the side of the stage, a tricked out RV painted white with neon blue accents rolls up. As the opening refrain with Skits Vicious begins, theside door flies open and out comes the 2 Broke Chicks. In name only, of course! There’s some visible laughs of amusement as Jane then turns towards the stage and tries to look serious as she approaches the ramp. On the opposite side of the mood spectrum, Chiaki Sanada gives their ride an adoring pat before scurrying to catch up with her tag team partner.

As the two make their way down the ramp, Jane’s attempt to stay serious is all but lost once Chiaki moves in front of her, just goofing off and throwing random signs at the camera in sync with their music. As the chorus plays, Chiaki starts singing along. The strength of the duo finally breaks into laughter at the little one’s antics and the pair continue towards the ring. Once they reach ringside, Jane comes in behind Chiaki and lifts the crazy little Joshi up onto her shoulders. She makes a lap around the ring itself while Chiaki’s waving her arms from side to side over her head, trying to get the fans to join in. They do, for the most part. Chiaki hops off of Jane’s shoulders and onto the apron. She’s back to throwing thuggish little hand signals as Jane climbs onto the apron. Jane climbs into the ring and stands behind Chiaki who is still doing her thing as they both throw up their actual, personal team gesture. Chiaki finally gets into the ring and the two of them move to their corner, removing their entrance gear and getting in a bit of last minute extra stretching as they get ready for their match.





As Megadeth shrieks through the arena, "Dangerous" Dave Mustang and Johnny "Twisted" Steele roar down the entrance ramp on their twin Harleys. Thei manager, Freddy Fabulous, follows them in a nice Vespa.

They circle the ring once and then park their bikes on either side of the ramp and strut to the ring, giving each other a massive high ten once they are on the apron together. Mustang gets in the ring first and waits for the match to start.




DING!


Mustang is immediately dropped by a flying cannonball from Chi Chi Sanada. Her speed keeps the longtime vet from gaining any sort of upper hand and soon he’s scrambling to make a tag to his partner, Johnny Steele.

Steele finds himself struggling as well but a lucky haymaker slows down Sanada enough to allow him to use his size and bulk to his advantage. Then it is HEADLOCK CITY.

The crowd is bewildered by the seemingly neverending series of side headlocks. Steele only adjusts from time to time when one arm wears out, and then he switches sides. Chi Chi screeches and does everything she can to escape the undoubtedly acrid armpit area of the larger, hairier Disintigrator, but to no avail.

Eventually Mustang insists on being tagged back in, and Steele obliges. Mustang then hammers Sanada with MUSTANG SALLY, the big bionic elbow to the head, but the speedy dynamo kicks out when he goes for a lazy lateral press!

Sanada is able to leap across the ring and make the tag to Jane Harper!

It’s all downhill for Dave Mustang after that. Ripcord knees, spinning kicks, rolling elbows, golden gloves level fisticuffs… everything leaves poor Dave battered and beaten, and Harper stays in between him and his corner so he isn’t able to escape.

Johnny Steele runs out of patience and starts to enter the ring, but Chi Chi has it scouted and charges him and knocks him from the ring before going back to her corner and screaming for a tag. Harper pulls Mustang to the corner and tags Chi Chi, then pulls him up in a tombstone… GAS MONEY!

Chi Chi squats down and stis her butt right on the face of Dabe Mustang, who is now snoring loudly after the big spike piledriver, and she secures the 1-2-3!



WINNER - 2BROKECHICKS

(Match Time 4:14)




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WOW! Chi Chi and Jane really showed their dominance right there!

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Textbook, perfect tag team science… it felt like THEY were the ones with five decades under their belts!!

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Let’s not slow down, Bath, this tag-heavy Madness is really popping… let’s get to another team outing - Death Rattle against their sudden rivals, P.W.T.!

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I’m not gonna lie, Jacuinde… I am kinda hot for Tanya Terwilliger.

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*sigh* Of course you are.


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VS.
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The arena fills with mist as the music plays, and the specters of two women drift from the top of the entrance ramp down to the ring.

The two apparitions move into a corner, and as the mists disperse, we see Jane Doe and the Sound of Death standing there, waiting.





Tanya Terwilliger and her partner Sean “Spider” Spivey, better known as P.W.T., pop out from the back nearly tearing the curtain from its attachments. The duo immediately start insulting the crowd and tossing bits of trash into the stands.

Tanya almost gets into a physical fight with another woman in the front row, but Spider yanks her away and they both spit at the lady before heading to the ring and leaning in their corner, shouting insults at the crowd that are swallowed up by boos.



DING!


Almost immediately Tanya Terwilliger tackles Jane Doe as Spider knocks Sound of Death from the apron. Right away the two P.W.T. members start a vicious double team on Doe and the referee loses all control.

Doe is unable to defend herself from the two attackers, and soon she finds herself lifted by Spider as Tanya leaps from the top… the DEEP SOUTH DROP! The official has long since counted to ten and frantically calls for the bell to disqualify the team of P.W.T., but the damage to Doe is done.


WINNER - DEATH RATTLE

(Match Time 1:12)



Sound of Death is able to charge the ring and dump Spider to the floor, and she then attacks Tanya Terwilliger viciously, splitting her eyebrow open with vicious strikes, before flinging her into a corner and smashing her with a BANSHEE’S WAIL!

Terwilliger is left laying and SoD kicks her out onto the floor as Spider returns to the ring just in time to get scooped up by a revitalized Jane Doe! Doe lifts Spider into a stun gun as SoD flies from the top… DEARLY BEHEADED!

Spider is unceremoniously dumped out next to his partner and both of them struggle up to their feet and back away down the ramp laughing and flipping the bird toward Death Rattle. Jane Doe looks ready to chase them but Sound of Death holds her back, and they simply stand in the ring as their disqualification win is announced to the crowd.




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A lone spotlight shines upon a dingy, dirty ring, surrounded by darkness. A cloaked figure stands in the center of the ring, looking down at the floor. Ominous music is playing, the shot zooms in on the figure that is shrouded in shadows. It zooms in and in until…

The figure looks up to reveal Sierra Silver.

The lights come up to reveal the room Sierra is in. The room is bright and colorful, white walls covered in various artwork that was seemingly painted by Sierra herself. The ring is now bright and pristine, the mat a clean white, the ring ropes are just as colorful, from top to bottom being pink, lime green, and baby blue. Lining the inside of the ring are various stuffed animals. Over the entire scene, an instrumental version of “We Are Number One” plays.

Sierra Silver: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, boils and ghouls, to Sierra Silver’s training ground of EVIL!!!

In one graceful motion, Sierra casts off the black cloak she’s wearing to reveal her wrestling attire. A crimson red wrestling top and trunks, both outlined in neon green, as well as matching arm sleeves and knee pads, along with her usual white boots with green laces. The gear she wore on the previous episode of Madness.

Sierra Silver: Today, dear viewer, I am here to recap the exciting events of last month’s episode of Monday Night Madness, one of the crowning achievements of my career thus far! So let’s get started!

Sierra takes a fighting stance as a bell rings somewhere off camera. She spins around before grabbing one of the stuffed animals and throws it over the top rope, yelling “WHOOSH” as she does. Followed by another one, this time with a “BANG”.

Sierra Silver: Oh my goodness! Look at evil incarnate go!

Sierra grabs an animal in each hand

Sierra Silver: Wooooooooooooooooooooaaaaaaah!

She tosses the stuffies far off screen while mimicking a roaring crowd. She grabs another animal

Sierra Silver: Wham!

She tosses it out before grabbing another.

Sierra Silver: Bam!

Throws it out. Grabs another.

Sierra Silver: Thank you, ma’am!

Sierra grabs the last stuffed animal and goes to throw it out but it turns her around and she goes over the top herself, grabbing onto the top rope and skinning the cat, only one foot touching the floor before pulling herself back up over. She grabs the toy again and starts rolling around the ring with it, pretending to be in a heated tussle. Soon the stuffie is on top of Sierra.

Sierra Silver: Oh no! The great and powerful Mister Fluffykins the Third has our favorite villain on the ropes! Whatever will Sierra do- OH MY GOODNESS!

Sierra musters all of her strength to launch the extravagantly named toy over the top rope, leading to another bell ring. Sierra gets to her feet and looks astonished at her victory. She throws her hands into the air and hops up and down in excitement as a redheaded woman with a somewhat confused expression on her face awkwardly climbs into the ring, clearly she has never been in one before. She hands Sierra a piece of posterboard with the word “winner” drawn on it. She holds Sierra’s hand up in victory.

Sierra Silver: Hey, everybody. This is Matty! She’s really nice!

The woman next to Sierra waves awkwardly while Sierra catches her breath.

Sierra Silver: Anywhale! That was… basically… what happened on the last Madness episode! I used my super strength to tip the ring over and dump a bunch of peeps out on my way to winning the Pick Your Poison battle royale! And upon winning that, I am allowed to choose which championship I wanna challenge for! What will I choose? Who knows! I haven’t decided yet! But when I do, the champ will never EVER see it coming!

Sierra is extremely giddy, her excitement radiating off of her, causing her friend to giggle as well.

Sierra Silver: But that’s the past and the future! This is the now! And now I have a match with Mr. Chris Doc! He and I are gonna do the ultimate battle of power and skill, the ultimate good versus evil! With me being the ultimate evil, that automagically makes any opponent I have into a good guy! Now, I know what everyone is thinking. I just won a battle royale. Anyone can do that! How does anyone know I really deserve a shot at a championship? Good question! That’s why this match is so important. That’s why every match up until said title match is so important! I get to use this and any other matches as a chance to further prove myself! I get to prove why evil is the way to go!

Silver takes a deep breath and relaxes a bit after working herself up.

Sierra Silver: Mr. Docherty, I’m excited to face you. I love getting to go against new opponents! It allows me to show what I can do against a buncha different styles and builds! I know we’re gonna put on a great match for the fans and I know it’s gonna be a hard-fought battle. But at the end of the day, the truth will ring true as it always does.

Sierra excitedly nudges the woman standing next to her. Matty looks surprised, as if she had forgotten her cue.

Matty: Uh… evil always wins?

Sierra Silver: EVIL ALWAYS WINS! I’ll see everyone out there! Bye bye!!!


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As you can see, Bath, Sierra Silver is ready to go!

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For sure, but her opponent is a massively talented patriarch of the Docherty family. Tons of title wins in a long career. This guy was BRED to be IDL Champion!

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He sure was, but tonight he needs to get past Sierra Silver. Don’t count her out! Even against a man like Doc, who has wrestling in his DNA!

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Do… do you think his sisters could like me, Jacuinde?!

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No. To the ring!


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VS.
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(Long live the reckless and the brave
I don't think I wanna be saved
My song has not been sung
So long live us)

As the music kicks in, Sierra bursts through the curtain with all the energy in the world and a huge smile on her face. She runs over to the edge of the stage and pointing her Minecraft diamond sword prop out into the crowd before returning to the top of ramp and striking a "supervillain" pose. She poses for a few seconds before taking a running start down the ramp, high fiving everyone she can on the way down, going around the ring and back up the other side of the ramo before stopping herself at the top, turning, and skipping down and sliding into the ring under the bottom rope.

(Breaking out of a town called Suburbia
I remember everybody always saying
"Little brat must be crazy
Never make it in our vicious little world"
Still I'm leaving)

Sierra jumps up onto the turnbuckle and points her sword into the air, repeating the process for each corner before jumping down and running laps around the ring before coming to a stop with a hop in her corner, bouncing on her toes and heels as she awaits the beginning of the match.





As the fans wait in anticipation, "Victory" hits over the PA and the crowd rise to their feet, awaiting the arrival of Doc. The lights then turn to darkness, a blue glow illuminating the top of the ramp and two white strobe lighting bolts shining across it. They cross over in a huge "X" shape, like the St. Andrews flag of Scotland, and as Doc walks out and stands under the "X", the lights turn back on Doc remains on the spot for a few seconds, before speeding up his approach to the ring as the song enters its chorus, never once looking out to the crowd, staring straight ahead at his opponent in the ring.



DING!


Docherty takes control early. His experience and intuitive expertise lead him to quickly overtake the eager and often overzealous Silver. He traps her in various holds designed to wear her down and slow her pace.

Silver shows no quit, though, and manages to catch Docherty from time to time with sudden bursts of energy. She even manages to hit her GREENHEART move from nearly out of nowhere, but fails to secure a pinfall afterward, only getting a two before Docherty is able to power out.

Docherty seems annoyed by Silver’s refusal to go down easy. He switches up and hits a chop block on Silver’s legs, then goes to work trying to weaken the limb. He drapes her leg over the bottom rope and sends some hard shoot kicks into her thigh. When she fights her way to her feet he follows her with more leg kicks, eventually hitting an inside calf kick hard enough to send her right back down to the mat. This gives him the opening to grab onto the DOC LOCK!

Silver has to scramble and use all of her strength to drag herself and the much larger opponent towards the ropes, but she manages to get a finger on them to get the ref to call for a break. Once again annoyed by Sierra’s endless ability to hang in there, Docherty once more decides to turn up the heat.

At this point Docherty starts flinging Silver around using different suplex variants. He drives her down hard with a head and arm plex that comes dangerously close to dropping her right on the top of her skull, but she still manages to kick out after the barrage, much to Docherty’s dismay.

Docherty decides to put things away, he’s had enough of playing around. He lines up across the ring from Silver and when she gets to her feet he throws his foolproof DOCHERTY PRIDE! But Silver slips out of the way, and Docherty ends up stumbling into the ropes… SI-1-9!!!

Docherty gets laid out and Silver heads to the top rope, but she jumped the gun! Docherty wasn’t beaten down enough, nd he catches her as she gets to the top, flinging her to the mat in a big slam over his head. He then scales the ropes himself and leaps off… AIR GLASGOW!

Luckily for Sierra, she rolls out of the ring after the elbow hits, giving her time to recover. Docherty is mad as heck that she was able to squirm away before he could take advantage of the big move with a lateral press, and he pounds his fists before rolling out after Silver and tossing her back into the squared circle, where he gets another two count.

Docherty, fuming, stands in a corner and begs Silver to stand up. He stands in stance ready and waiting as the Supervillain struggles and wobbles to a vertical base. Then… GENOCIDE KICK!

DUCKED!

GREENHEART!!!

This time Docherty is dazed and Silver races to climb up the corner ropes… SILVER SUN RISING! She hits it! Sierra Silver grabs Docherty’s boot and hooks his leg for the 1-2-3!


WINNER - SIERRA SILVER

(Match Time 7:33)




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HUGE win for the wink-wink villain Sierra Silver!

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Why are you winking? She IS a villain! She just cost me a hundred bucks to the camera guy!

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Well maybe you shouldn’t be betting on the matches, Bath… that’s unprofessional! Let’s just stay focused and get to the next match, another tag team affair, and this one has been bubbling for a while. The incredible dynasty of Greek goddesses, Themis Palaestra, and two Jacksonville jackasses, the Bing Bongs.

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Way to stay impartial, Jacuinde! I’ll remember that later when your girlfriend Claire Rogers gets in the ring!!

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Bath! My wife and kids watch this show! Don’t tell lies like that!


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VS.
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The Themis sisters slowly enter the area as perfumed air is pumped into the stands





Da Bing Bong Twinzz bust out that back stage bitch like WTF and perp slash pimp walk to the RANG. You feel me?

AYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!



DING!


At the sound of the bell, Li’l Ca$h-App is quickly taken down and mounted by Desdemona Themis. He likes it at first, but she really starts hammering him with rights and lefts that make him rethink the position enough to where he squirms for the bottom rope and gets a break. It’s short lived, though, because almost as soon as he gets to his feet the same thing happens again. He once more gets the rope and stands up, asking Des to throw hands instead.

It’s clearly his wheelhouse. I mean, look at this pugilism skill:


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Anyway, he gets flattened by the MMA-trained Themis who then tags her sister Agrippina in to have some fun applying different submissions. Ca$h-App manages to get free somehow and sprints to his corner for a tag, but his twin brother doesn’t fare much better against the slippery Agrippina. She’s SUPER bendy, apparently, and is maybe double jointed? Are ALL Themises double jointed? Is it like a genetic trait? Who knows.

MC C-Munqqquee quickly finds himself on the receiving end of some impressive chain wrestling by Aggie. He does manage to clip her on the chin with a strange, jumping knee strike, and it buys him enough separation to set up a piledriver attempt. With Ag’s thighs parted upside down on either side of his face, he gives a gold-crusted smile and shows off his grill to the crowd… which wastes WAY too much time. Agrippina rolls out of the driver and soon it’s those same thighs around that same head, squeezing the life out of the young man from Jacksonville.

Aggie tags back out to Des and Des actually taunts C-Munqqquee by allowing him to tag out as well, having no fear for either one of the Twinzz, apparently. She spears Ca$h-App to the mat as soon as he steps between the ropes and once more starts pummeling him like she’s trying to win the UFC Bantamweight Title to impress Joe Rogan or something. She then tags Aggie back in and they set Ca$h-App up for the LOVE & HATE DRIVER!

C-Munqqquee to the rescue! He clobbers Desdemona in the back of the head and sends her flying out of the ring through the ropes, and Ca$h-App then rolls a shocked Agrippina up in a small package for the 1-2-3! They both pop up yelling DUUUUVALLLL after the bell!


WINNER - DA BING BONG TWINZZ

(Match Time 1:12)






[Image: cGInlPs.png]

The camera heads backstage where Jacki O'Lantern is seen distracted by trying to look for something, or someone rather, wearing a goth skater dress, combat boots and a beanie on her head. She walks around, head peeking around including inside the Women's restroom, but closes the door when she realizes what she was looking for wasn't there, then ventures off toward the catering area and starts looking under some tables, making cat-calling noises in the process.

And who should she come across there - and this will surely be a shock to one and all - but none other than “Deathwish '' Hide Yamazaki carbo-loading. Anything-loading, really. Merely experiencing the many culinary staples Alaska has to offer, lol. With a mouth full, he quietly observes Jacki on her search for… something. His curiosity getting the better of him, but also unable to pull himself away from the feast before him (that was supposed to be for everyone), he tries to flag her down.

Jacki gets up, but bumps her head under the table as she does so, then stands up to notice Hide standing there. She rubs her head and laughs, feeling slightly embarrassed he had to witness that, as she looks at him.

“Jacki O'Lantern: Hey bud, sorry you had to see that. My cats went missing and figured I'd look here since this was their usual hang out spot. Uh, you haven't seen them by chance, have you?”

Hide gives a look of concern. Not concerned enough to swallow his bite of food and stop eating, however. He does half-heartedly look around, sees nothing of note, and shrugs at her. His gaze then wanders back to the spread, then back to Jacki, then back to the spread, then back to Jacki. He holds up a finger, grabs a few drumsticks of chicken and points to himself, then at her, then in a direction a cat might be found. He then goes to the table to get a couple more drumsticks, just in case this takes long.

Suddenly, one cat runs up to her and jumps in her arms, and she catches it. The rest come by and circle her legs, looking happy and a kid in a candy store over seeing them, turning her attention back to Hide, and watches him eat before continuing to speak.

“Jacki O'Lantern: They are safe. That is a relief. They are like my own children, in case you didn't know. Aside from that, how are you? I see you are getting food in your system before our big match.”

Funny this happened the way it did; last year, a similar situation occurred involving Angelica Vaughn’s kitties at a restaurant! This fact wasn’t lost on Hide; he chuckled at the memory. He tore a large chunk of drumstick meat, sans the greasy crispy skin, and from that piece, broke it down even further, just to give each furry visitor a taste, then ate the rest as quickly as he could. He knew full well he had to, lest he loses all he had left out of guilt.

“Hide Yamazaki: My apologies. I’m okay. I’ve been distracted by Johnny’s issues from a while back. We’ve all come together to keep him off of the internet for as long as we can. Still, I plan on giving it my all and burying you all alive in countless feet of snow. …Respectfully, of course.”

She watches her cats feast on the chicken they were given, showing off their little fur coats they had on as she strokes their heads and gasps, not knowing if he was joking or not.

“Jacki O'Lantern: Bury us in a foot of snow, eh? Well, luckily I am a good digger. We've been through a lot during our time here, haven't we, Hide? I am at the point where I don't care where we fight, whether it's inside of Chuck E Cheese or in a cave, I'm going to put on my big girl pants on and show 'em no one can kill The Queen of Trickery .”

Hide nodded; this was the reaction he desired. There was an understanding there that this wasn’t regular wrestling. This was violence personified. The winner gets crowned the Lord of Violence, for God’s sake!! He pss pss pssed until one of the cats came before him. They looked around for more of that delicious treat, but had to resort to licking his fingers clean. Hide smiled.

“Hide Yamazaki: The idea of consuming pizza as I consumed my opponents’ dreams of becoming the Lord of Violence appeals to me. Do you think there’s a chance that’ll be the next site of these deathmatches?”

Jacki O'Lantern: “Not if I can help it.”

She winks at him before her and her cats leave him there.



We cut live to... Somewhere in the snow!


[Image: iglooofinsanity.jpg]


"This is it, people! The Igloo Of Insanity! Marvel at it!"


We pan the exterior of the oversized igloo!


"This Madness, we're going to do things a little differently! Gravy's been hard at work planning just what an Igloo of Insanity was going to be, and boy let me tell ya, won't nobody be complaining about a lack of violence tonight!"


We go inside the igloo, we find our five competitors locked behind icy cages. Looking around the room, we see bats, pipes, chairs, kendo sticks, and the like scattered around the room and hanging from the ceiling. True to his word, Gravy DOES indeed have flame throwers of sorts as he's loaded this thing up with a full pyro rig, and that threat about the live bare wire in the ice, oh yeah, he followed through!


Two will start! Every couple of minutes, someone new will join the fun! Pinfalls, submissions, and TKO how you win!


Lights strobe the various igloo cells until settling on Jacki O'Lantern and Homer "The Humanoid" Sapien!


Hot baby and living dead dude to start this shit off!"


Jacki steps out of her cell and readies for a fight, but Homer casually walks up to her and calls time out. He begins to inspect her right arm, much to her bewilderment.


Those are damn fine arms, but I don't think they're quite a match for Mr. Sapien!


Jacki has had enough and levels Homer "The Humanoid" with a big left-armed lariat! Homer flips a full 360 and lands on his feet! He staggers away off-balance as Jacki chases after! As Jacki closes in, Homer grabs a shovel out of a mound of snow and spins around, swinging at Jacki’s midsection, but Jacki catches the handle under her arm and rips it away from Homer, and pops him in the forehead with the hilt of the shovel! Homer staggers against the wall of the igloo and Jacki swings for the fences with the business end of that shovel! Homer slides down the wall as the shovel stabs into the ice just above his head!


”A near miss!”


Jacki pulls at the shovel, but it’s stuck in the wall! Homer pushes off and takes Jacki down with a double leg takedown and locks in the Predators Claw! Jacki grabs his wrist with both hands as she fights against the hold!


”Holy shit! He can do that!?”


What Gravy is reacting to is the visible electric current coming from Homer “The Humanoid” Sapien and surrounding Jacki O’Lantern’s head.


Suddenly the igloo lights dim as the strobes decide who will enter the match next!


”Vita Valenteen enters the fun!”


Vita’s cell door opens and she rushes out with a dropkick to Homer’s head, breaking the submission attempt, but Jacki is stunned from the attack!


”Why would you do that! It’s a fucking elimination match!”


Vita stands over Homer as he cradles his head and scolds him for the “illegal” use of electricity, or something.


”Oh Jesus, I’m calling someone in early!”


The lights dim again and land on Hide Yamazaki! Hide steps out of the cell and runs right up to Vita, grabbing her by the waist and hurling her with a release German Suplex! Vita lands with a sickening crunch to her neck!


”Oh damn! Can a broken neck kill a vampire!?”


Hide jumps back to his feet and rushes the seated Homer with a running knee that shatters his nose, yet there’s no blood…


Hide continues the assault on Homer by whipping the shit out of him with that thick heavy chain that he wears around his neck!


”On one hand, I’m glad that Hide Yamazaki has successfully picked up the pace of this match, but on the other hand, USE MY WEAPONS, IDIOT, NOT YOURS!”


The lights dim and the strobes tease which cell will open next as if there’s anyone left besides Oliver Taylor! Oliver rushes out and meets Hide with blows. Hide and Oliver trade shots back and forth, just wailing on each other like madmen! Hide rocks Oliver with a big right and follows up with a chop block that takes Oliver Taylor to the ice! Hide jumps back to his feet and stalks Oliver Taylor, looking to finish him off, when Jacki O’Lantern smashes him across the back with a barbed wire-wrapped chair!


”BARBED WIRE! BARBED WIRE! BARBED WIRE! THIS IS A FUCKING LORD OF VIOLENCE MATCH NOW!”


Jacki chases after and smashes Hide with another shot to the back! Hide drops to his knees selling the pain as blood begins to mix with sweat. Meanwhile, Homer sneaks up on Jacki and applies the Predators Claw!


”Oh shit, no! Not Hot Baby!”


But Jacki bites Homer’s fingers clean off!


”I CAN’T DECIDE IF I’M MORE OR LESS TURNED ON!”


Jacki scoops up the stunned Humanoid!


”BLACK CAT CROSSING!”


Jacki win the pin!




1!







2!!








3!!!



ELIMINATED - HOMER “THE HUMANOID” SAPIEN!



”We’ve got our first elimination! This calls for a celebration!”


Suddenly, about $250,000 worth of pyro explodes inside of the giant ice igloo. Thanks, Gravy, we can’t see shit but smoke and colorful explosions of light! So the camera temporarily switches to an exterior shot of the Igloo of Insanity!


[Image: artworks-000281375732-lrm0sm-t500x500.jpg]


*COUGH* “Oh fuck!” *COUGH COUGH* “Bad fucking” *COUGH* “idea!”


Smoke barrels out of a giant melted opening in the top of the igloo. As it does, we begin to make out the silhouettes of our remaining competitors as they choke and stumble their way through the thinning smoke.


HIDE YAMAZAKI pops out of nowhere and grabs Oliver Taylor by the waist from behind and quickly snaps him with a High-Angle Belly-to-Belly Suplex!


”THE DEVIL!” *COUGH COUGH*


Hide makes the cover!



1!








2!!







KICKOUT!


Meanwhile, Vita is back on her feet and brawling with Jacki. Vita catches Jacki with an armdrag. Jacki jumps back to her feet and rushes Vita, but Vita tosses her with a second arm drag, only, Jacki hangs on and reverses the momentum, throwing Vita instead! Vita lands ina puddle and loud crackling is heard as the igloo lights flicker!


”I’m not even going to brag or anything, but this is a SHOCKINGLY good match! You’re welcome!”


Vita flops like a fish as electricity surges through her undead body!


We catch up to Hide attacking the leg of Oliver Taylor with his “Wheel of Fortune” Dragon Screw! He continues to attack the legs as we go back to Jacki trying to fish Vita out of the water with a weed wacker!


”That’s not how that’s used, dummy! I mean hotty!”


Vita grabs hold of the weed wacker and jerks, Jacki, towards her! Jacki stumbles forward and teeters at the edge of the water!


ELIMINATED - OLIVER TAYLOR!



”Aw fuck! The Madness production crew is shit! Let’s get a reply!”


We see a replay of Oliver tapping out to Hide Yamazaki’s The Hanged Man (Stretch Muffler)!


Back live, Jacki successfully recovers her balance as Vita struggles to pull herself out of the electrified water, but oh no! Fucking Hide smashes Jackie from behind with a running lariat and knocks her into the water where she joins Vita in flopping!


”Ah, that trap wasn’t for the hotty you idiot! Time to play my last card!” *CHSSSSSSH* “JimBob, you’re a GO for operation Dolphin smoke!”


The electrical current is deactivated. Jacki is stunned and Vita is literally smoking and slightly charred. Hide hooks Vita’s leg first!


”Oh, Hide Yamazaki is looking to eliminate last month's Lord of Violence!”




1!








2!!








KICKOUT!


”HOW!?”



Hide rises to his knees and grabs a fist full of Vita’s hair. He begins hammering down closed first, beating what little life is left, out of her! Hide covers her again!



1!














2!!














3!!!


ELIMINATED - VITA VALENTEEN!




”It’s just Hide Yamazaki and Jacki “SUPERHOT” O’Lantern! WHO WILL BE THIS MONTH'S LORD OF VIOLENCE!?!”


Jacki is still out of it, and Hide is moving in for the kill!


Suddenly the sound of a propeller plane draws everyone’s attention to the sky above the melted igloo roof.


”Oh yeah! Shit’s about to heat up!”


It’s JIM “THE BOB” JIMSON flying overhead! Two objects detach from the bottom of his plane as Jim flies overhead. Two Dolphins. A husband and wife. Jim found them the night of their honeymoon. Yes, Dolphins get married and all that jazz. Anyway, Jim Dolphin napped them, because Dolphin. Also because Gravy may have called in a favor. By the way, those Dolphins have explosives attached to them… Because Jim Jimson.


*BOOM*


*BOOM*



The explosions fall one after the other! One on either side of Hide and Jacki. The force knocks Hide off of his feet, but neither Dolphin bomb falls close enough to do any real damage. Hide pushes up off the ground and shakes the cobwebs pretty quickly!


”Damn it, Jim! You missed!”


But before Hide realizes she’s gone, Jacki comes in from behind with the weed wacker across Hide's shoulders! Hide stumbles forward as Jacki cracks the weed eater up!


”That’s it, baby girl, chop that mother fucker down to size!”


Jacki goes ham on Hide’s back with the weed wacker, leaving bloody welts and cuts everywhere she hits him! Hide runs away from the assault and Jacki gives chase, but she doesn’t expect Hide to pivot and launch back at her with a Chop Block! It takes Jacki off of her feet and the weed wacker goes flying! Hide mounts Jacki and hammers some hard shots into the base of her skull.


”Shit! No, no, no!”


Hide pulls Jacki up to her feet, but Jacki hits a knee to the midsection!


”YES, YES, YES!”


She sets up for a Piledriver and lifts Hide up!


”NO FUCKS GIVEN!!!”


NO! Hide deadweights her and flips over her him with a back body drop!


*GASP*


Hide locks in a seated Stretch Muffler and Jacki fights against him!


”I don’t know that this is going to end it, Hide has hardly worked on Jacki’s legs!”


“Yeah, but she’s been through Hell with all of the explosions and electrocutions! She may just quit!”


“Shut up me! You obviously don’t know what you’re talking about!”



Jacki manages to get her hands on a baseball bat and swings for Hide’s head, but Hide breaks the hold and slips the bat! Jacki uses the bat to get to her feet, but Hide charges in kicking the bat out from under her and catching her with a High Angle Belly to Belly Suplex!


”FUUUUUUCK! Okay, I don’t really care, but she is hot…”


Hide with the cover!



1!










2!!
























3!!!


”DAMN IT!”


ELIMINATED - JACKI O’LANTERN



Hide jumps to his feet! He’s pumped as the camera cuts to Graves who was apparently bullshitting earlier because he is watching and commenting from a safe location elsewhere.


”Congratulations Hide Yamazaki” Micheal say’s as he spins in his chair to face the camera. ”Unfortunately, this month, I forgot to design a prize.”


Graves kicks something under his desk with his foot.


[Image: ILOVU.jpg]


"Enjoy the moment instead!"


Graves slams his palms across ALL of the pyro buttons!


[Image: giphy.gif]


WINNER AND NEW LORD OF VIOLENCE - "DEATHWISH" HIDE YAMAZAKI!!!



[Image: ezgif-com-gif-maker.gif]


[Image: cGInlPs.png]


Backstage, Lexi Gold is inside her locker room preparing for her match later. She is already in her ring gear, sitting on a chair and adjusting her elbow pads. She seems rather happy about welcoming new challenges to the mix. Once she finishes getting ready, she gets up from her chair and grabs a water, then takes a drink before putting the cap back on when she notices who is at the door.

After winning her debut match, she was excited about her next one. She couldn't wait to see who she was having next. When Josslynn saw the card, she was happy. She gets to face someone that is kinda a friend or acquaintance. She had met Lexi through Jason; he was friends with her man, Elijah. But there's another person in the match, also Summer Page. Joss was super excited. She made her way down the hallway, and she was dressed in her gear already. She would stop by Lexi Gold's door because it was cracked, so she just pushed it open. She saw Lexi getting ready.

Josslynn Spencer - Hey Lexi.

Joss smiled, still standing in the doorway.

Lexi turned her head, surprised, but happy to see Josslynn standing there. She put her water bottle down and went to acknowledge her.

Lexi Gold: “Hey girl. I've been meaning to catch you in person before our match, but glad you stopped by. Just wanted to say congrats on your debut win. I watched it and was thoroughly impressed with what you can do in the ring. Are you ready for our fight tonight? Let's not forget, we got Summer Page to deal with as well, and she isn't exactly well liked and wouldn't put it past her to try and cheat.”

Josslynn Spencer - Thank you! I appreciate that.

She let a small smile show as she leaned against the doorway. She was right about Summer; she would probably try to cheat. She did threaten to lock Josslynn in a closet just to win the match.

Josslynn Spencer - Oh my gosh, don't get me started on summer. That girl let all that bleach from dying her hair blonde go straight to her head. No offense to you since you're blonde. Maybe we can team up against her. Like our boyfriend's did in the tag match they had.

Josslynn knows it's a triple threat match, but eh, it's the thought that counts. She remembers Jason and Elijah's tag match; it wasn't the greatest. Jason got hit in the face with the championship belt and got rolled up to get pinned. Elijah got punched and didn't really help.

Lexi thought about her suggestion and was actually caught off guard by it as she rubbed her chin and continued to look at her, wasn't sure if she should trust her or not.

Lexi Gold: “While I appreciate your kind offer, I would rather keep it as one woman for herself, but win or lose, I will gladly shake your hand afterwards. No bitterness from me. Deal?”

Obviously, Josslynn was just kidding about the whole teaming up part. She was a bit surprised by Lexi's response, though.

Josslynn Spencer - It's okay Lexi, I wouldn't trust me either. I mean, I've been known to do anything to win. I want to win just as much as you do. I mean, it gets me one step closer to gold, hopefully.

Josslynn was being a little smart ass about things now. She respected Lexi. She even admired her in- ring skills.

Josslynn Spencer - You know what they say, Lexi. Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer.

Josslynn would wink at her. Before crossing her arms.

Lexi Gold: “Trust me, I know from experience. Good luck out there…”

Lexi turns on her heel and walks away, but turns her head slightly to ensure she wouldn't attack her before leaving the room.


[Image: uvVdaft.jpg]
Confidence from the newcomer… but she’s not new to this business and has seen her share of Darren Dangerouses in her career!

[Image: oJvuyIf.jpg]
But is there truly anyone like Darren Dangerous? I’ve seen this guy show UP to the match bleeding already… the man thrives on pain!!

[Image: uvVdaft.jpg]
He does indeed. A true clash of styles right here right now - I can’t wait!

[Image: oJvuyIf.jpg]
You just want Myra’s autograph, Jacuinde, you’re lame.!


[Image: WprXn8u.png]&[Image: LxdUcnq.png]
VS.
[Image: fBFndXZ.png]&[Image: PbfhiQy.png]






Molly’s music plays and she walks out from the back… but rather than the lyrics hitting, we instead hear Bobbi London rapping over the beat!

Bobbi and her massive mountain of a partner, Maxine, step out and flank Molly Barnes as Bobbi raps them down to the ring together as a unit.

“Well me name’s Bobbi L, so I hands ‘em out,
One’s on the way up Claire’s fugly snout,
L for her and L for Ximena,
Another fresh L for the mystery partna,

I got Big Maxine an’ she’s really mean,
On the way down to wipe the ring clean,
With BGTL an’ they’s secret admirer,
Together with Molly, Mad Rhymes is on FIRE!”

The three all get to the ring and climb in, posing for the crowd as Bobbi finishes up with a sick beatbox.





Claire Rogers and Ximena Asensio emerge from the back and strike some nice flexy poses at the stage before heading down to the ring in tandem. They each have smug looks on their faces and they lock eyes with their three opponents as they get close. How did they lock eyes with three people all at once? Muscles, that’s how.

BGTL gets in the ring and waits for their mysterious partner to be revealed, and then…


EYES




ON











THEFAMILYFIRSTOFTHEXWF!





A large man dressed in a pure-white reindeer costume…good Lord, it’s the Aroostook Stranger…is almost fully unseen against the Alaskan backdrop, and is pulling a large golden sled. At the reins of that sled are Da Bing Bong Twinzz, each holding one side of the reins. And behind them? Sarah Lacklan wearing the CUTEST winter coat you EVER did see, long and flowing with white silk and topped by massive, MASSIVE puffy sleeves of the warmest cotton. Honestly, the sleeves are probably made from nothing but cute little bunny butts.

HIIIIII-iiiiiii!

Da Bing Bong Twinzz drive the Aroostook Reindeer towards the (let’s face it: Shoddily constructed) ring while Sarah uses a cordless microphone to amplify her voice through some sort of P.A. system that must certainly somehow exist in this weird location for a wrestling show. The sled slides to a halt as Da Bing Bong Twinzz pull on the reins and the Strangler finishes his trek, taking in deep breaths that send spittle flying. On the sled, Sarah waves slowly at the…um…is there a crowd here? Let’s go with ‘sure.’ She waves slowly at the crowd, like the very picture of Jadis herself. She looks up into the ring at the trio of Mad Rhymes and That Stupid IdiotMolly Barnes, and the waiting duo of BGTL and gives them a wink.

Un instant, s'il vous plaît!

She turns back to the “crowd.”

Hello, Baby Birds! My name is Sarah Lacklan-

She nearly blinds everyone in attendance as she flashes that Billion $$$ Smile and it reflects off the snow with so much power that Lambart rose from the dead so that he could study the effect and write Photometria, Part Deux...which is, like, THE most obscure reference I’ve made thus far for these introductions, so I’m SUPER proud of myself.

-World’s Greatest Life Coach, and I’m out in front of you today because I made a promise. You see, within the wider world of the XWF, there are a LOT of flavors and brands of wrestling, with shows being produced on multiple days of the week. Most people know this already. What most people…and by that, I mean something like 99.35647% of the people…DON’T know is that we ALSO produce shows on Mondays!

Sarah’s eyes go wide in a shocked surprise.

I know! YOU people are here and even YOU don’t realize that there’s a show going on! And so I promised to Vinnifred Agnes Lane that I would give the world a reason to axly watch Madness. Mind you, as soon as I said that, the Google Search hits for this show went up by, like, a bajillion percent, but I promised MORE. I promised that, in order to TRULY give the viewing audience value for having to otherwise sit through, like, 3 hours of Lexi “MEH” Gold pretending to wrestle, I would give them all something SUPER special. And that would be the very next member of the Family First of the XWF!

Sarah turns back to the ring and looks at Claire and Xim.

SurPRIIIIIIII-iiiiiise!

Sarah points behind them and as everyone turns to see where the mittened, but certainly still painstakingly manicured, finger points, they see a figure dressed in black and purple making their way towards them, leaving a long line in the snow in their wake.

The world NEEDS what I bring, dear Baby Birds. The world YEARNS for it. It cries out ‘Oh, Sarah, whom we worship and adore, please oh PLEASE give us that super shiny light which not only leads us towards God, but also makes us tune into a wrestling show on Mondays which, let’s be honest, we didn’t axly know existed until you started promoting for it.’ And since I am ever THE most benevolent #Influencer, I give you the SECOND (actively wrestling) member of the Family FIRST of the XWF!

As the figure draws closer to the shoddy, ill-constructed, barely-held-together-by-Vinnie’s-hopes-and-dreams ring, we see that the black and purple cloak is sleeveless and hooded, and they are dragging a large sledgehammer behind them.

You can call her Ava…

Now near the ring, we see that the person’s arms are covered in scars, with one arm full of cleanly sliced scars and the other full of jagged and ugly scars.

...you can call her Bordy…

They climb into the ring from a neutral corner, their movements a pained slowness, and walk forward until they are in the center. BGTL…her apparent tag partners for tonight…get a look at all the neat and orderly scars on the one side, while Molly and Mad Rhymes have a view of the ugly and jagged, the arm attached to the hand holding the handle of the large hammer. Even Maxine, the noted monster, seems wary of them.

...but *I* call her ‘Mumsie’...

The head turns slightly towards Sarah with that, but then turns back to neutral.

...she is the Mad Frenchwoman…the Ultraviolent Ultraviolet…the Matron of Lacklanland…Le champion du Chaos...




-deeeeeeeep breath-






LE BOOOOOOOOORRRRRD…..DEEEEEEEE…..DIEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUU!

The figure reaches upon with their free hand and pulls back the hood and cowl of the cloak to reveal a woman with a hairless head that is covered in scars both neat and jagged to match the arms. Her face is so gaunt that her high cheekbones seem razors sharp enough to cut, with a nose clearly broken several times and almost lifeless green eyes. From outside the ring, Sarah’s eyes shine with mischief as she settles into her seat atop her massive sled.

You’re welcome, Claire! You too, Xim. I guess. And have fun, Stupid Molly! kthanxbye!

With a dual “HEEYAH!” and snap of reins from Da Bing Bong Twinzz, the Aroostook Strangler snarls and spits before pulling the sled back from where it came.


[Image: uwof6VI.png]


DING!


Le Bord de Dieu stands in the ring and beckons for someone to join her from the opposing side. Maxine, heaving in rage at the very sight of Avaline Lacklan, bursts into the ring from her corner and races toward Bordy like a beefy freight train, her rippling skeletal musculature as intimidating as it could possibly be. She gets to Bordy and swings, and Avaline deftly avoids the punch, and drives a pointed finger into Maxine’s intervertebral nerve cluster, immediately sending her into paralytic spasms on the mat.

Bobbi London’s jaw drops and she screeches for her partner, who is quivering and sputtering on the canvas. London charges into the ring to go after Ava, and as soon as she gets there she too is given a pinpoint accurate nerve attack, this time in the form of a knife edge chop to the medulla oblongata followed by a swift elbow strike to the lumbar region, essentially giving her a forceful epidural. London’s legs turn to jelly and her arms flail as she joins her partner on the mat, completely neutralized.

Bordy cracks her knuckles and looks at Molly Barnes, who slowly gets into the ring with hesitance. She approaches Bordy and puts her fists up to box, and Ava smiles. Ava blurs into a whirling dervish of motion, spinning around Molly and hitting small jabs and kicks all over her - none intended to do much individually, but as a concerted, comprehensive effort they will break Barnes down over time. Molly grits her teeth and throws a straight right… and catches Bordy right on the jaw!

Bordy looks a bit stunned, but she smiles again and tilts her head, cracking the bones in her neck. She then turns and walks to her corner and tags in… BOTH Claire and Ximena?

The girls from BGTL lick their lips and rush the ring, and between the two of them they batter Molly Barnes with an assault of many different high impact power moves. Spinebusters and powerslams and gorilla presses galore. Xim eventually lifts a nearly limp Molly up and flings her down with a reverse DVD into a Pele kick from Claire! TOTL!

Ava snaps her fingers repeatedly from the apron, demanding to be tagged back in. Claire looks angry and Xim looks confused, but they shrug and walk back over to the corner and tag her in. Avaline then practically floats on air toward Molly, placing her foot onto Barnes’ chest and waiting as the referee counts 1-2-3!


WINNER - LE BORD DE DIEU & BGTL

(Match Time 9:52)



As Bordy waves to the crowd which is booing her soundly, BGTL come back into the ring to celebrate with her… and Ava strikes each of them down in similar manner to the way she handled Maxine and Bobbi London!

Avaline drops Claire with a palm strike to the throat and then turns to Ximena and applies what can only be described as a vulcan nerve pinch. She finishes her off with an Asiatic spike to the temple and then batters Claire once more with a heart punch for good measure.

As the modies in the ring are all tended to by medics, Avaline simply walks off into the back, victorious.




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“Spoiled” Summer Page is in her locker room lacing up her boots. She has her phone on the chair next to her and it is on speaker.



Marisol Vilaro:Cliff and I have been celebrating nonstop since he won the Uprising Silver State championship.


“Spoiled” Summer Page:I’ve seen your Instagram posts, girl. You guys should be celebrating.



Marisol Vilaro:I wish you and Mosh could be here continuing celebrating.



“Spoiled” Summer Page:We would love to but we are in this God forsaken Alaska about to handle business.



Marisol Vilaro:True but I am sure you can’t be loving Chris and Elijiah facing off again.



“Spoiled” Summer Page:Definitely not ideal but business is business.



Marisol Vilaro:Speaking of business, can you beat the shit out of that Lexi Gold? She made a big ass mistake of going against me.



“Spoiled” Summer Page:Glady, girl, and I will throw in Josselyn Spencer into that too. I just don’t like her style.



Marisol Vilaro:Even better.



There is a knock on the door of Summer’s locker room door. Summer looks up at the door.



“Spoiled” Summer Page:Hey girl it seems as though I have a guest. I’ll text you later. Have fun celebrating with Cliff.



Marisol Vilaro:You know we will. Talk to you soon. Bye.



Summer hangs up her phone.



“Spoiled” Summer Page:Yes?



The door opens and Summer’s massive bodyguard, Enigma, walks into the room.



Enigma:She has arrived, boss.


XWF Madness’ newest signee, Jessica Anderson, walks into Summer's locker room. Summer smiles, stands up, and looks excited to see her. Jessica and Summer hug as Enigma shuts the door to the locker room.


“Spoiled” Summer Page:I am so happy you are here. We are going to dominate the Gemini division now that I have such a fantastic tag team wrestler and friend to be my partner here.



Jessica Anderson:When you brought up the idea of joining you and Chris here in XWF I couldn’t resist. We have a mini Privileged Elite crew here in XWF.



“Spoiled” Summer Page:That’s right, girl. You, me, and Chris are going to dominate the Madness brand. With the big man, Enigma, watching our backs we will be unstoppable.


Jessica Anderson:Have you mentioned any of this to Elijah yet?



“Spoiled” Summer Page:Not yet, I will after the show. I swear. I mean he is a professional, he knows what’s up. It’s just business.



Jessica nods her head as there is a knock on the door. Summer looks over at Enigma who goes over to the door and opens it to see XWF IDL Champion, Chris Mosh, standing there. Enigma nods his head for Chris to come in. Chris walks in and sees Jessica standing next to Summer.

*Chris smirks as he looks at the ladies as he has the title over his shoulder*

Mosh: Oh my, if it is not the loveable Jessica Anderson, welcome to our show. I mean you two are going to make sure Eli’s friends stay at bay for me and then be the Gemini Tag Champions because we are the Main Event of Madness, but Summer what is Eli going to do when you come out and help me.



“Spoiled” Summer Page:Elijah and I have an understanding that business is business. He has to look out for his people as I have to look after mine. When any of us in the One Percent or Privileged Elite steps out through those curtains it is about handling our business and I want to make sure that the three of us are all walking around with XWF Madness hardware very soon. But when it is time for Elijah and I then it is our time.

Jessica Anderson:You know that I've got your backs in tag team action, but me going after singles gold is a total waste of time. When it comes to one-on-one matches, you know that I'm just completely incapable of putting up a fight. If you Google the term "jobber", my picture is the first thing that comes up. I wasn't even able to make an impact in a battle royal filled with jobbers. But yet, the second I'm in a tag team match I completely come alive!



“Spoiled” Summer Page:Girl, you know we aren’t about to have you thinking like that. Chris is already the IDL champion and we are going to bring those Gemini championships where they should properly be…with us. We are commonly known as the Privileged Elite for a reason which is why we will get everything we could possibly want.


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As the cameras pick up backstage. You see a girl covered in pink. Her hair, her makeup, her clothes, all pink. She was slumped into a chair that was placed up against a wall inside one of the locker rooms. She had a slight snore to her as he exhaled.

"WAKE UP!"

She didn't budge. Jason Cashe laughed as he stood in the room facing the sleeping pink lady. Turning back as another voice joined the scene, it was Josslynn Spencer.

Josslynn Spencer: "Leave her.. She was up the entire flight. She's tired."

Jason Cashe: "She sleeps more than a Bear Hibernates! Fuck that, I'm waking her up.."

His first idea was to just yank her by the leg, pull her right off the folding chair which she somehow fell asleep sitting on. Those things weren't that comfortable but this was his Sister. Echo Layne could sleep anywhere. Resting on another idea, Cashe grabs a family sized bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. He takes one out and slowly peels the wrapper close to her ear..

Josslynn Spencer: "That's not gonna work! Hahaha stop picking on her!"

But it worked, it really worked! Echo stirred and began to stretch before opening her eyes to see what or who was around her. She jumped up like a deer in the headlights as if she forgot where she was. Calming down as she sees Cashe and Joss, Echo yawns and snatches the candy from her Brother's grasp.

Echo Layne: "I wasn't sleeping.."

She says as she proceeds to eat the peanut butter cup. Nodding past her Brother, Echo and Josslynn lock eyes.

Echo Layne: "Did you win?"

Jason Cashe: "Thought you weren't asleep?"

About to eat one of the pieces of candy himself, Echo snatched it from him.

Echo Layne: "Nobody better lay a finger on my Candy!"

Jason Cashe: "That's Butterfinger.."

Echo Layne: "Works the same for all my candy!"

Getting back to Echo's question to Josslynn. Joss responded.

Josslynn Spencer: "The match hasn't happened yet. I will go out there shortly though."

Echo Layne: "You got this! She's got this doesn't she Jason?"

Jason Cashe: "She's got this like you got Candy.."

Echo Layne: "What's that supposed to mean?"

Jason Cashe: "She's greedy with it. She won't give them a crumb off her plate! My Woo Saah is ready.. Why can't I have a Peanut Butter Cup?"

Echo Layne: "You just called me greedy.."

Josslynn Spencer: "I have to finish getting ready. You two.. Fight over candy. Save me a piece?"

Echo Layne: "Of course! I'll save you two! One for each opponent you send home with a Loss!! Get em Jossy!"

Cashe stared at his Sister with a great disdain…


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Bath, I know you’re ready to see these three talented women in a triple threat!

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It’s a pleasure just to LOOK at these girls, Jacuinde, and we get to see ALL THREE of them at the same time! Josslyn Spencer, every emo scene kid’s wet dream… Summer Page, an angel right out of heaven, and Lexi Gold, probably one of the top five hottest women in the world. Pinch me buddy, I’ve gotta be dreaming!

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Okay okay, let’s stay focused here, Bath. These three aren’t here to win a beauty contest, they’re here to do battle in the ring! And only one of them is walking away with a win here in Nome tonight!

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Man I hope they didn’t dress appropriately for the weather…

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Bath!



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VS.
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VS.
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purple and gold lights start flashing and Josslynn music hits as she walks out on stage with a smile across her face. Jason Cashe follows and stands at her side as she heads to the ring.

She walks with confidence down the ramp and as she walks up the steps and gets inside the ring. She would go to one side of the ropes and strike a pose as Cashe wolf whistles and claps loudly from ringside.





“Spoiled” Summer Page appears with a look of focus on her face.

Heading down to the ring she barely even looks at the crowd as her attention is locked onto the task at hand. She looks like a million bucks, as always, but the determination on display is as impressive as her centerfold-worthy figure.

Summer Page rolls her eyes at Cashe as she passes him then stares daggers through Spencer after getting in the ring.





“5 out of 6” by Dessa plays and Lexi Gold appears from behind the curtain to a chorus of cheers from the crowd. She slowly makes her way down the ramp and gazes out on the jam packed arena before she runs roward to fans at ringside and claps their hands. The Golden Goddess then makes her way up the steps and goes through the bottom rope and taunts a bit before she makes her way toward the center where her eyes remain fixated on the stage as she awaits the bell.




DING!


Things start off with all three women in the middle of the ring running their mouths like an episode of the Real Housewives of Alaska. It devolves pretty quickly from there, with Summer Page cracking an open hand slap across the face of Joss Spencer, and then turning to Lexi Gold and grappling her against the ropes.

Spencer yanks Page onto her back by the hair then and stands over her, stomping and kicking at her on the mat. She shoves Page out of the ring with her feet, sending her under the bottom rope, and then turns around just to get clotheslined over the top by Lexi Gold! Gold looks like she knows she just accidentally broke the rules by sending Spencer over the top, but luckily for her a triple threat can’t end in a DQ.

Gold follows Spencer out and grabs Page, rolling her back into the ring and then re-entering herself. Page by then is already in her feet and snares Lexi in the GOLDEN RULE! Page goes for a quick cover but the attempt is broken up when Josslyn Spencer yanks her out of the ring again by her ankle, dropping her on her face.

Spencer then gets in the ring and pulls Lexi up by the hair… and Lexi slaps her hands away before flipping her over with the GOLDDIGGER! Gold rolls Spencer’s legs over her in a pinning combination but only gets a two before Spencer is able to get a shoulder up.

This is the story of the match throughout - one of the women is sent out of action, and the other two fight it out until one makes a cover… but then the third breaks things up. This scenario plays out several times until finally it looks like Summer Page and Josslyn Spencer begin to work together a little bit. They double team Lexi Gold and wear her out with tandem offense.

Of course, after Lexi is sufficiently dispatched, Summer Page quickly turns on Joss. She waits for Spencer to turn her back and then she drops her with the SPOILED ROTTEN! Page executes an Oklahoma Roll that keeps Spencer down for a count of two, but when she then follows up with an attempt at PURE PERFECTION, Spencer fights it off and shoves her to the ropes… ZODIAC KILLER!

Summer Page is laid out, but here comes Lexi Gold from behind, and she ducks her head down between Spencer’s legs and lifts her in an electric chair!

SPENCER WITH A VICTORY ROLL!

Lexi’s shoulders are down and the official counts the 1-2-3!



WINNER - JOSSLYN SPENCER

(Match Time 11:31)





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The scene shifts backstage to Elijah Copeland in his locker room. A month ago, there was interference that resulted in the match being thrown out. Even though Copeland knows he has to complete this task on his own, that's fine with him. Copeland has never needed help. He is wearing his ring gear which includes a black muscle shirt with "The Copeland Era" written on the front, black and gold trunks with gold writing on the back, black knee pads, and black and gold boots. White tape is wrapped around his left hand, black wrist tape is on his left wrist, and he has a black dog tag with "Elijah Copeland" written on it, as well as black sweatbands with "Copeland" embroidered in gold. Copeland jumps up and down to warm himself up. He begins to punch the air to loosen everything up. He looks at the camera as he begins to speak.

"A month ago, the match was thrown out that's fine with me. Now, both Peters and Kayden have been suspended for this show, and that means I have to fight you one-on-one, Chris. You see, you and I are in the same boat...except for one thing, Chris. You have a title that should've been mine. A title that was taken from me when it shouldn't of. Now, I stand here in this locker room without a title that was rightfully mine."

He put his hands together and looked down at the floor. He walks left and right to try to get what he wants to say.

"You want to know something, Chris? I can be booed, or I can be cheered. I can be anything, and I'll roll with it. But you want to know something? I care about the reactions I get. The fans, the superstars, and even the management don't want you as champion. For the past month, people have been begging and pleading with me to take that title off you. Why? Because they want someone who has the balls to do what it takes to be champion."

"For the past month, I've stated that I'll never stop fighting till I get that belt off you. You can throw me against the cage, grind my face, or throw me off the top of the steel structure. But you want to know something? I'll stand right back up and continue. I don't care if my face is bloody, bruised, or completely unrecognizable. The thing about me, is that I don't know the meaning of quitting. I'm not pleading or begging to win...Nah, I ain't like that man. I could stand here and say that I'm going to be the hero for these people and take that title off you, but no, I'm not here for them."

"You see, when I was younger, everything was handed everything. I was the Quarterback for my hometown, I was the prom king, and I made nerds cry. But I grew older, and my father bought me a mansion and all the stuff to serve and keep up with my style, I knew I had to work it off and finally be the man that I know I can be. Tonight, I know what I have to do, Chris. I have to face you man to man on my own. I can promise that tonight, I'm going to crush you and leave you in the ring and see you laying in the mat pooled in your own blood. After tonight, the Golden Era begins. And that's not the truth, Chris. THAT'S THE GOLDEN TRUTH!"


The scene fades away and comes back inside the ring as they prepare for the match.


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Here we are, Bath, tonight’s main event… and it’s a BIG one. Last time around, Elijah Copeland and Chris Mosh didn’t go as planned. We had outside interference from the Gemini Champions, Team KTFO, that led General Manager Tula Keali’i to suspend them for this episode of Madness and to book an immediate rematch… in a CAGE!

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Brilliant and fair governance from the most intelligent authority figure in the entire XWF, Jacuinde! And we get to reap the benefits by seeing the very first CAGE MATCH in Madness history!


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VS.
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The camera pans around the sanatorium battle zone. Just then there was black, gold, and white flickering as "Breaking Through" by the Wreckage hits the speakers on the arena.

♪ Sever every tie
Untangle every lie
Your words don't mean anything anymore, no
Never satisfied ♪

Just then Elijah is seen coming through the Curtains and the fans begins to boo. He is seen wearing a black muscle shirt with "The Copeland Era" written on the front, black and gold trunks with Copeland written on the back in gold, black knee pads, black and gold boots, white wrapped up hand on his left hand, black wrist tape on his left, black dog tag with "Elijah Copeland" written in it, and a black sweatband up his arms with "Copeland" written in gold. He put his wrist together and gets a huge smirk on his face. He looks around and nodes.

♪ But I won't compromise myself for you
Anymore anymore, no
You're so complicated
I'm so over it ♪

He starts walking down the ramp as the fans continue to shower his boos. He stops and looks at the crowd and giving off a slight smirk and laughs as their misfortunes. He bad mouth the fans before getting down to the ringside and stopping on the ringside mat. He runs his hands along the steel cage wall, pulling it and testing its strength. He walks towards the steel steps and breathes in.

♪ Don't tell me everything is all right
(I know you know)
Don't tell me how to live my life
I'm breaking through tonight ♪

He slaps the steps a few times before walking up them. He walks alongside the edge of the ring. He enters it and walks towards the turnbuckle.

♪ You can crash and burn this time
As I leave it all behind
These scars won't breathe anymore anymore, no
Sounds like goodbye ♪

He looks at the fans as he slowly takes off his shirt and throws it to the outside. He points at the fans before getting down and moves to the corner. He then waits for his opponent, looking up and around at the cage structure as he does.





Chris Mosh, The VIP, emerges from the back as streaking fireworks fly all around him. He holds up the Madness IDL Title belt for the crowd and then walks dow to the ring, staring at the intimidating cage structure.




DING!

The two men engage in a staredown to start things off, and then the smack talk gets going. Neither man backs down an inch, and they each gesture toward the solid steel in an attempt to show they have no fear of the structure.

Mosh decides to cool things down with a handshake, but Copeland doesn’t buy it… he instead jumps up and hits a gorgeous drop kick! He follows up with some weardown holds and really cominates the first segment of the affair with chain wrestling and technical prowess.

Mosh is able to fight his way back into things after a few reversals. He weathers the early storm and maintains enough poise to put himself in the driver’s seat when Elijah starts to get a little tired. Mosh then kicks things up to the next level by getting the environment involved, whipping Copeland into the steel two or three times before smacking him with a superkick!

The pin attempt is too soon though. Copeland kicks out at two and Mosh is left thinking of ways to escalate further. He knows he’s got to amp up the offense to put a challenger like Elijah Copeland down, and he decides to take a turnbuckle pad off of one of the top corners. Unfortunately Copeland gets his wits about him as the buckle pad comes off, and a high knee to the back sends Mosh sternum first into the exposed steel.

Copeland takes a different tactic from earlier in the match, opting for impact moves instead of the grinding holds and joint manipulation from the beginning of the match. He chooses to work on the head and neck of the champion, certainly hoping to make his Philly Special finisher more of a home run. He starts with some DDTs, landing a variety of them front and back to Chris Mosh, who does his best to just cover his head.

Copeland decides it’s time to go high risk after he lays Mosh down with an elevated DDT. He climbs the ropes and then pulls himself up to the top of the cage and jumps down, landing a huge double foot stomp right to the back of Chris Mosh! Copeland lands awkwardly though and he spends a few moments grabbing at his ankle before making an attempt at a pin, and Mosh is able to roll a shoulder up at two.

Copeland limps but tries to keep the offense on. He’s unable to put enough into his strikes though and Mosh zeroes in on the injury like the ring general he is. He takes Copeland down with a leg sweep and then reaches deep into his bag of tricks for moves that he typically wouldn’t bust out. A spinning toe hold on the hurt ankle gets Copeland’s hand hovering over the mat, thinking about giving up. Ultimately he holds on, though, and Mosh has to move on from the hold realizing it isn’t going to get him where he needs to go.

Mosh looks for a figure four, but Copeland plants a foot on his butt and sends him stumbling through the corner ropes, slamming his shoulder against the ring post. Copeland gets some time to stretch out his ankle as Mosh shakes off some cobwebs and gets to his feet… and he walks into a busaiku knee! Copeland folds Mosh up and hooks a leg, but he can only hold him down for two!

Copeland tries to keep things going his way by hooking a german suplex - Mosh grabs the ropes and Copeland rolls back empty handed. Getting back up he looks for a kick to the gut, but Mosh grabs the leg and hits a dragonscrew. Mosh sees the opening and the quick change of momentum, and he spins Copeland up into the MOSHPIT!

NO!

Copeland squirms out, and he drives a knee into Mosh’s southern extremities with a huge inverted atomic drop! Mosh goes to his knees and Copeland lowers his knee pad… SHINING WIZARD! Copeland hooks both legs and the ref slaps the mat twice before Mosh kicks out for all he’s worth. Copeland can’t believe it!

Both men get to their feet and Copeland lunges, but Mosh catches him! Mosh sends him up and over in the MOSHPLEX!!!


COPELAND KICKS OUT!!!


Mosh is incensed, he can’t believe it! He argues with the official as Elijah Copeland looks like he’s reaching into his trunks.

Mosh finally turns back to Copeland right as the challenger stands and BOOM! A huge right hand from Copeland sends dozens of quarters flying through the ring! Chris Mosh is out on his feet and he falls forward, landing with his face on Copeland’s shoulder.

Elijah Copeland hooks Chris Mosh in a suplex… PHILLY SPECIAL!!!

Copeland hooks a leg and he gets the 1-2-3!



WINNER AND NEW IDL CHAMPION - ELIJAH COPELAND

(Match Time 4:32)





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NEW CHAMPION! NEW CHAMPION!

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Holy crap! Elijah Copeland pulled it off! I told you he’d be champ from day one Jacuinde, and here he is, the second IDL Champion ever! What a match!

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Chris Mosh doesn’t even know what hit him, but I think I do, Bath… it looked like a roll of quarters in Copeland’s fist to me!

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Yeah well that would be smart, wouldn’t it? No rules inside a steel cage!

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You’re not wrong there… but we’ll find out how General Manager Tula Keali’i feels about it later on… for now, we are all out of airtime on Madness. From Nome Alaska, this is Jacuinde…!

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And the Bath-Man!

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Signing off! See you all next time on….. MAAAAAAAAAAADNESS!

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