Please Login or Register to get full access to the forums.

Lost Password?
Current time: 03-29-2024, 02:10 AM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                


X-treme Wrestling Federation » XWF Live! » 24/7 X-treme Championship
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Vote(s) - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
Damn Boomers!
Author Message
"The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler Offline
Oceanic Cowboy



XWF FanBase:
Hardcore, psycho fans

(cheered for breaking rules and bones; excessively violent; creative with weapons)


#1
05-02-2022, 04:43 AM

Thunder Knuckles is now completely dressed after taking a nap on an AIDS infested gas station bathroom and Them No Good Bastards are on the road again. Little did they know soon they’d run into a roadblock, no, protest. Not your standard died hair and face jewelry twats standing in the middle of the road like some dipshits who never got spanked for their misbehavior. This was a very strange protest; it is the elderly led by a man in a sewn Pig head mask.

The Pig head man holds a barbwire AK-47 upside down by the barrel like a baseball bat. Them No Good Bastards begin to slow their car down. Not having any doubt that a weirdo in a pig head mask, almost looking like a variation of Ed Gein, except not wearing a sloppy butcher’s apron and leather clothes. Instead, more like “the dude”, he is wearing a forest green fluffy and comfortable bathrobe. Pig man then chuckles out loud as the tires of the vehicle come to a screeching halt.

Doors open and out steps Robbie Bourbon, Charlie Nickels, and of course Thunder Knuckles. Robbie Bourbon steps forward first taking a bite from his Arby’s sandwich. Sauce squirts down his attire. Pigman smirks under his mask. Not allowing any of Them No Good Bastards speak, he silently gives orders to raid by just pointing the barbwire wrapped buttstock of the AK-47 toward his prize the X-Treme Championship Belt.

One of the elderly slowly and not very dramatically walks toward the vehicle one squeaky step at a time. His hands on his walker, tennis balls on the leg, with his terrible eyesight he misses the small pothole, which one of the legs of his walker slams into. Sending him crashing to the ground. Skidding across the pavement, the old man rolls to Bourbon’s feet. The Pigman shakes his head.

“Damn Boomers!”

Them No Good Bastards begin laughing uncontrollably, until it happens. The downed old man grabs Bourbon’s ankle and looks him dead in the eye as he smiles a toothless smile since his dentures fell from his mouth during his tumble. Bourbon shrieks and almost drops his sandwich. The old man then says.

“Haven’t you heard the saying of the old man stumbling around with his walker is probably more badass than you’ll ever be? Thanks to Nam that statement is true in this case! Hiyah!”

The old man quickly spins his whole-body leg sweeping Bourbon to the ground while simultaneously locking in a rolling knee bar. Thunder Knuckles and Charlie look at one another before they begin to maneuver toward their fallen comrade. Before they make it to the fallen “King” two old ladies flip out of the crowd of elderly folks and smash small smoke bombs on the pavement, before going at it with Charlie and Knuckles like a scene from the mutant ninja turtles when they fight the foot clan.

Pigman then interrupts the old lady ninjas.

“Thunder Knuckles is mine! Do as you will with Charlie and Robbie. Thunder Knuckles here needs to learn what it means to hold that gold.”

Just as he finishes his sentence the mob of old timers’ swarm Bourbon and Charlie. Stampeding them like a couple of lions trampled by a heard of wildebeest. Slow, old, and soiled wildebeest. Thunder Knuckles smirks and charges at the Pigman. Except he doesn’t notice the fallen walker and trips over it almost face planting on the pavement.

Pigman quickly takes advantage of the misfortunate Thunder Knuckles and smashes the barbwire end of the AK-47 into TK’s sternum. Knowing TK’s head still must be damaged from a bulldog through a brick wall from the other day, Pigman drops his Boomstick (Barbwire wrapped AK-47) to the ground. Instinctively and precise like a neurosurgeon wraps an arm around TK’s head as he is bent over gasping for air. Pig then falls backwards driving TK face first into the Barbwire end of the Boomstick. Pig rolls TK over on his back pulling a leg damn near through TK’s bloodied face for a pin while his gang of “Boomers” stomp mudholes in the rest of Them No Good Bastards!
Edit Hate Post Like Post
[-] The following 4 users Like "The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler's post:
Marf (05-02-2022), MrBig (05-02-2022), Theo Pryce (05-02-2022), Thunder Knuckles™ (05-02-2022)
Thunder Knuckles™ Offline
A No Good Bastard



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#2
05-02-2022, 01:17 PM

TK kicks out grabbing the boomstick a.k.a. the AK-47 wrapped in barbed wire and swings it like a baseball bat to the attacker's face. The blood streaming down TK's face isn't a deterrent as he grabs Pig's legs.

Goddamn it! I hate this fucking move!


That's when it happened, TK performs a catapult sending Bearded War Pig flying, knocking the stupidly sewn Pig head mask of his head, into the Boomers that are stomping the rest of the Bastards. TK strolls over to the feeble pile of senior citizens and shoots a snot rocket on top of them. TK helps both Bobby and Charlie to their feet.

His name is Bobby Bourbon now.

Bobby and TK give their truly iconic no-look fist bump as Charlie sets Pig up for Devil Hook Drop. Charlie nods and TK knows exactly what to do.


Monochromatic Dirty Bomb Death Drop


The Bastards aren't done yet because Bobby picks Pig's lifeless body up only to lift him vertically. TK notices this, he runs and jumps off the pile of smelly Boomers to land the most devastating move in Tag Team history.


Rainbow Laser Death Sequence!


Fucking try hards.


Speaking of trying hard. I've been trying hard to nail down this name, Tee-Kay. I think I got it though... Ginger. Sounds like a stripper's name and you looooove strippers.

TK is more than frustrated at this point.

Can't even drive down the goddamn road!

Bobby places his hand on TK's shoulder and then gives him a pat.

You'll get used to it.

The three men start walking back to the car but Charlie can't let a sleeping dog lie.

What about Ginger though?

The Xtreme Championship isn't going to be fucking named Ginger, okay?! Christ Almighty! Give it a fucking rest! Just get in the goddamn car.


TK gets into the driver's seat, Bobby rides shotgun, and Charlie is sitting in the back. As TK drives away he hits the pile of Geritol taking seniors just narrowly missing Bearded War Pig's head.

[Image: brofade.gif]
Hate Post Like Post
[-] The following 2 users Like Thunder Knuckles™'s post:
"The Wolf of Afghanistan" Joshua Schuler (05-02-2022), Marf (05-02-2022)




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)