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X-treme Wrestling Federation » XWF Live! » News, Rumors, Hype, etc...
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Dearest Bossmen
Author Message
Lacklan Offline
World's best at making murderhobos cry



XWF FanBase:
The 'cool' kliq fans

(booed by casual fans; opportunistic; often plays dirty while setting the trends)


#1
03-30-2022, 02:27 PM

Delivered by a trio of very tired pigeons wearing leis filled with purple, red, and white flowers, letters written on strong Lacklanland Tree stock paper are delivered to the various owners of the XWF. Scented with a delicate and delectable mixture of lavender and marshmallow, the papers are covered in the flowing and flowery script of their collective favorite brand General Manager

Dearest Bossmen,

When my 4th Place bestest friend Ruby (Kenzi is in First Place, obvs; my BABY sister Angelica is in 2nd place, also obvs; Roxy is a far far far far far far far far distant, but still respectable Third Place, triple obvs) told me that her zombie boyfriend/sextoy, Mr BluePill, started his own brand of XWF wrestling where the rule of honor was to be paramount, I was delighted! Finally, an opportunity for all of my little Baby Birds, my Fang Gangers, to watch one of my many, MANY companies without having their eyeballs infected by the stinky stank of ghosts like Shane, and-

-what the...

Shane.

SHANE.

Shane-o-Mac.

Even in my letters? Really?! Weird.

N-E-Ways, FINALLY they could watch some good, grounded, SOUND Professional Wrestling, the way God wants! But when I tried to steer them to the initial Monday Madness, I couldn't find it anywhere! I have, like, a bajillion stations at the Egg (because Kenzi watches ALL the baking shows; bitches love baking shows), yet STILL I couldn't find it anywhere at all! I failed my fledgling Baby Birds and was all sadfaced. Eventually, I was able to point them to the streaming service for the replay and

HOOOOOO BOY

WHERE are the rules?! WHERE are the consequences?! WHERE is the POINT of this show?!

Suddenly, I understood WHY it was so hard to find it on the night it was supposed to air: No one wanted to show it!

'Welp,' I told myself, 'Perhaps the second installment would be better.'

Alas.

Madness #2 was just as difficult to find AND watch, hence my lighthearted comments across these interwebs about how no one watches wrestling on Monday. But! Oh, BUT! I have friends who are wrestling on this show. so it deserved my attention. Sierra Silver (EVIL!), one-half of BGTL (just wish she'd get her gains back), and Vita. Surely, they balance out dumb-dumbs like Hide, the other half of BGTL (she a bitch), and skankawhore's like Lexi, right? Unfortunately, I was proven incorrect: The overwhelming BAD was, indeed, too much for the GOOD. But still, those friends of mine. They deserve the spotlight. They deserve people being able to watch them. They deserve the idea of Madness instead of just the execution of it. SO! I decided to hook up with Vita (not like that, you dirty old men; #GLs4EVA #KenziIsTheBestKenziNumberOne #SweetestBootyInALLTheLand #MyDarkGoddess) and tag along to Hawai'i (please make sure they you pronounce Hawai'i correctly when you read this in my voice in your head. #RespectTheIndigenous Peeps). I wanted to not just SEE what was wrong with Madness and discover WHY no one watched it, but I wanted to FEEL it.

HOOOOOO BOY

I legit had to pop Vita's shoulders back into place after that craxy escape from that chicken wing (You can tell she's been watching me!) before I whipped off all of that explosive residue. And that illiterate Molly chick? Don't even get me STARTED on how much I hate her! I FULLY understand why NO ONE watches this show now! It's REALLY bad! So, how do we fix it? Easy! By me giving you what SO MANY PEEPS have been bugging me about over and over and over. Legit, my various inboxes are FULL of the same question:

Who is the next member of the Family First of the XWF?

Next Madness? You will ALL know. And because of that, you'll have more ratings for that show than the prior three combined.

You're welcome!

Your FAVORITE XWF Authority Figure,

-S.S.G-L

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Vita Frickin Valenteen (03-30-2022)




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