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Vita Frickin Valenteen · (04-07-2022)

A static black image fills the screen.

"A seed of hate planted by foolish neglect and nurtured through wealth and the encouragement of nefarious fiends."

"A great evil would rise..."

"And along with the rise of this evil, I would lose the closest friend that I had ever known..."

"All of the gang beatdowns lead by her, the injuries that she ordered against talent that she felt slighted by or thought might stand in the way of her goals, the families that she hurt by leading The Brotherhood of Baddies to injure harass and in some cases run out of the XWF entirely... That's NOT EVEN getting into all of the alleged criminal activities that took place outside of the XWF consisting of theft, drugs, and even murder, and do you know what I've always thought about that entire situation?"

"That none of it ever would have ever happened if not for one dude."

"And his MONEY!"

The image of Oswald fades away as we transition to Vita's smiling fanged face.

"Agreeing to be a part of this tournament is totally turning out to be the best decision I've ever made! Not only did I get to serve up a small helping of payback on The Calvary for the crap he pulled on his exit from the XWF, but I finally had the opportunity to step into the ring across from Ruby, which was totally awesome and a definite highlight of our careers for years to come, even if I did feel that our bout could have used a bit more aggression, BUT that's not going to be a worry this week because I'm totally looking forward to taking out a little pent up aggression on a man I've long felt responsible for most of it, in what HAS TO BE my BIGGEST CHALLENGE EVER!!" She says with a skyward pointed finger!

"You said that about Ruby last Anarchy! You should really stop repeating yourself so often!"

Vita deflates with annoyance before drawing her selfie camera away from her face to reveal Jami standing off to the side watching and apparently critiquing this late-night rooftop vignette.

"Ruby was and totally still is the toughest challenge I've faced skill for skill, ya know? But Big Stinky Oswald is going to be a challenge on a whole different level! You see this nose!?"

Vita points out her sniffer as if Jami couldn't possibly locate it otherwise!

"This sucker is SUPER-CHARGED just like all of my other vampiric senses! I can see superhuman, I can hear superhuman, and I can smell superhuman!"

Jami grows impatient with Vita's tendency to dance around the point.

"OKAY! So what? He stinks? Like he's the only wrestler with B-O! Overcoming the wretched stench of your opponent seems like some pretty basic stuff for a wrestler! As a matter of fact, my friend T.J. back in High School, he used to go all week without showering before a big match! HIGH SCHOOL, Vita! You're a professional, so act like it!"

Unimpressed with the intrusion, a stone-faced Vita simply asks, "What are you even doing here?"

Through the sweetest smile, "Helping!", Jamie answers.

"You're not helping! Like, not even a little! Besides, you don't understand the direness of this dilemma! It's been over a month since I pinned Thunder Knuckles and I still have a faint hint of swamp butt hit me outta thin air now and then!"

"That's... Disgusting!"

"RIGHT!? And Broken BOBby Oswald? He's totally worse than even TK! With all of that money he has, you would think that he'd spare for some Team BOB showers and maybe buy some goodwill with the rest of the roster considering that the lot of those guys are basically a traveling smog cloud of failure, but NOOOO, dude isn't that smart, and instead invests all of his money into stoopid frickin holograms to avoid nose to butt-smell contact!"

Vita facepalm!

"Vita, are you sure that you're talking about the right guy? My notes say that the Oswald that you're facing this round is inevitable to win the entire tournament!"

Vita's frumpy face!

"Oh shut up, Jami! You're purposely pressing my buttons now!"

Jami acts innocent, but she totally is!

"The only thing that's ineVitable is the tantrum Oswald will throw post-match when he realizes that he still isn't the BIG BADDIE that he's been pining to be as far back as when he was licking Miss Fury's corned toes for the opportunity to be named BOB Elite before Barney Green! Then, even after all of the disrespect that he suffered from within the ranks of that very group when they came calling, his answer wasn't no!? Why the heck not!? Oh yeah, because you can't get the job done against Centurion and need someone else to do the dirty work for you. Alight, bet, but who's going to do the work for you this time? I've defeated the Bastards of BOB and struck its Fury down twice before, I've made my entire career off of standing across the ring from bigger, stronger, badder, and STILL knocking them down a peg! Demon, Demi-God, Super Alien, who cares? In that ring, it's wrestler, not vampire, and the wrestler in me will always outwork and outshine whatever it is in you! See you April seventh, when I wrestle 2 more points away from you, and even with all of the magic and money in the world, you won't be able to stop me, because I have a frickin goal!"

[Image: dakota-fanning-as-jane-wallpaper-preview.jpg]

We fade on that image.

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