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X-treme Wrestling Federation » Warfare Boards » Warfare RP Board
P&J PC #16 - Merchant Of Death? Ha, I'm Not Holding My Breath!
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Hunter Payne Offline
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#1
07-03-2013, 03:19 AM

-Payne & Joy post Podcast 16 online, The Podcast theme song 'Use Somebody' by Kings Of Leon is played and stops as Hunter Payne is about to speak, he's wearing a general's uniform playing to the Major Payne moniker given to him by Death Merchant and Joy is wearing a sexy outfit as usual-


Payne: Attention! This is the Payne and Joy Podcast, Podcast number 16! I am Lieutenant Hunter Payne.


Joy: And I am Joy Giovanni. And this Podcast is focused on Death Merchant, he had some things to say to you Major Payne...


Payne: Major Payne? I like it, can you use it in a sentence?


Joy: Yes of course... Death Merchant is going to be in Major Payne after Wednesday night, when he loses to Hunter Payne!


Payne: Death Merchant do you really think anybody cares that your getting a little team together? Besides Liz Weinberg, who has nothing better to do, because it's not like anybody wants to get interviewed by her. Now on the flip side of that, look at what I did, and take notes. I actually had the balls to challenge to Trio Tag Team Champions! Not just talk about getting a little team together to wreak havoc to...I don't know, kids I guess... They'd probably the only ones scared of a guy who calls himself Death Merchant.


Joy: You have to be on drugs to choose a stupid name like that... Can we quote this druggy loser already?


Payne: Yes ma'am. "First off, He has me confused with someone who gives a $h!t about someone liking me or not. Do you think I care anything about how you feel? I am who I am and if you don't like it it's too bad! Go pound sand punk! As for your little hoe there, Joy. She needs to watch her step or Eve will put her @$$ straight into the hospital."


Joy: How about you tell your b*tch to bring it! With how many STD's shes has, she can probably put anyone in the hospital.


Payne: You obviously don't care what anybody thinks about you, otherwise you would've picked a better name than Death Merchant.


Joy: "Back to Major Payne. I'd say your a real pain in the @$$ but I would be lying. Your about as painful as a hangnail. Me, I'm your worst nightmare. I'm sure you have seen others come before me. Perhaps you have even met some of my co members in the AoD. You see, There are others who have heard the call of the demons of the night. The only difference with me is I don't give a $h!t what I have to go through to accomplish what I set out to do. My goal this week is to show you what real pain is all about. If you think you have been taken to the X-Treme before your in for a real surprise."


Payne: Painful as a hangnail, clever... "I'm your worst nightmare." Where have I heard that before...


Joy: From every single opponent you have ever had...


Payne: Very unoriginal Mr. Merchant... Yes, you're very much like every other goth-emo joke I've had to wrestle.... What this? Another clue about a team you're making, that nobody cares about... Notice when I make plans for a team, it's to wrestle for championship gold! But when we win the Trio Tag Team Championships, We'll be sure to put the team of AoD at the top of the number one contenders list, So that AoD will be DoA... Hahahaha see what I did there? AoD will be DoA, I can be clever too!


Joy: So the thing that sets you apart from everybody else, is that you don't care, much like everybody else doesn't care. You should try caring, just to be different because not caring is just going to make you blend in with the rest of the losers around here...


Payne: I can't wait to see your idea of extreme, I could use a good nap... What's next?


Joy: "Now Hunter Payne. I'm not too sure what you have heard about me but I'm not a very nice guy. You might even say that I'm a real @$$hole! You'll find that out soon enough when we face off inside that squared circle! Right here at Madison Square Garden. A place where all of the greats have plied their trades. From Ali to Hogan they have all walked that aisle to glory"


Payne: Ok, stop. Don't you ever put Muhammad Ali in the same sentence as Hulk Hogan. One was the best talker ever. The most feared man to step in the ring with! And the other kissed ass and kept other people in his company down, because he wanted to be 'the big shot'. Very similar to what i see in this company now.... You're not nice? I couldn't tell by your positive attitude. Just kidding.


Joy: "Just like I will do. Warfare is just the beginning of the end for the XWF as you know it! That's okay though. You'll be able to watch it while your @$$ is laid up in traction! Hell dude. Do you actually think your little podcast there is going to save you from me? Am I supposed to just watch that and run screaming into the night never to be seen again? Wow, You really overestimated yourself didn't you!"


Payne: "The beginning of the end as you know it" Seriously? What is there like a rookie handbook for stupidity and dumb overused quotes I didn't get upon my arrival? You life-hating emos are all the same!... I don't know if you should run screaming, but that sounds like something your 'type' would do.You know your type, "I'm different from every other dark and depressing wrestler here, until I lose every match I have and realize I'm ordinary and boring" Why don't you do us all a favor and put the drugs down, and re-invent yourself as something more interesting.


Joy: This Podcast isn't to save us, It's mainly to save Hunter Payne's opponents, see our job is to point out all your flaws, mock them endlessly, and then hope that you change them... But nobody ever changes them...


Payne: I do tend to overestimate my opponents. And they never live up to the hype. Are you different?... Nope!... What else did he say?


Joy: "I'm afraid there will be a slight change in your plans. Your next podcast will have to be from County General. I'm sure there will be a lot of Joy there with you. I hope you enjoyed your little laugh there. It may be the last one you have for a long time! See you in the ring sucker!"


Payne: Joy where are we?


Joy: A Hampton Inn, down the street from Madison Square Garden.


Payne: That's right Joy. So you are wrong again Merch. That's what I'm calling you from now on, Just Merch... You should actually try laughing with us Merch, You may not be as b*tchy if you had a chuckle or two... I can't wait to beat you in the ring... Merch...


Joy: This has been The Payne and Joy Podcast. I am Joy Giovanni, and he is Hunter Payne saying...


Payne: To you goths here in the XWF, your poor dark evil souls, are doomed for an eternity in a fiery lake of lava, I don't care how you try to spin that, It's not good... You goths need to find God and save your souls! Take that how you want it, but it's the truth, and somebody needed to say it... Real talk...


Joy: Payne and Joy out!


-'Use Somebody' by Kings Of Leon plays as the Podcast ends-


[Image: 111315-wwe-Eddie-Guerrero-pi-mp.vresize....high.1.jpg]


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