Please Login or Register to get full access to the forums.

Lost Password?
Current time: 03-29-2024, 02:11 AM (time should display as Pacific time zone; please contact Admin if it appears to be wrong)                                                                


X-treme Wrestling Federation »   » Archives » Cross Promotional RP Board - Archives
Slashed, Part I
Author Message
Gator Offline
The Walking Disaster



XWF FanBase:
Mixed

(loved by some; hated by some; dips between clean/dirty)


#1
02-20-2022, 04:15 PM

We fade from black to a picture of Gator slowly zooming out; an obnoxious British man speaks over the footage.


“Gator. An XWF legend whose career was filled with notable highs and lows. Some called him the Greatest TV Champion of all time, while others nicknamed him The Walking Disaster.”


The picture goes negative as sinister music plays.


“Little did anyone know how true the latter name would become.”


The footage transitions into black and white wrestling stock footage which blurs as pictures come onto screen.


“Gator, or Jacob Woods is a fourth generation wrestler and was the son to Eddie Woods; a larger than life character in the now defunct Japanese federation, J-Pro. His grandfather Dickie Woods was a mid-tier wrestler in the Golden Era whose name is mostly met with snickers and well-timed penis puns. His great-grandfather was truly an innovator and created this long lineage of wrestlers, his name was Archibald Pennyfarthing Woodington III and wrestled alligators in the circus under the moniker “Commodore Crocodylia”. When questioned about the coalition between this name and Gator’s ring name, Gator responded with “F*ck off you c*nt” and promptly cut all ties with the documentary team.”


The footage then goes to a younger Gator walking down a ramp, the feed is hazy and in 4:3 ratio.


“Talent wasn’t the only thing passed down from father to son, due to issues with his father, the loss of his mother and other personal troubles, Gator turned to drink and drugs which made him volatile and erratic, cutting off ties with friends to pursue a rock and roll lifestyle minus the making music part.”


Cut to a dramatization of someone in a Gator mask wearing a denim jacket and leather pants downing a bottle of Jack Daniels in a hotel room before throwing it at all a wall and shouting in slurred speech.


“We used to be about the music man!”


A crowd of frightened onlookers cower in the corner next to the shattered glass.


“We’re here for a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament, bro! How did you even get in this room?”


“Gator” runs off the bed flailing his arms and begins to trash the room as the occupants scream. The scene transitions to footage of Gator, maskless and wearing sunglasses, driving in a Pontiac GTO, faint rock music is heard under the narrator.


“However, it seems that Jacob Woods has now managed to get his life on track. Getting back in touch with his colleagues at XWF and is maintaining a steady job doing work behind the scenes as well as opening a boxing gym for underprivileged youth in his hometown of Manchester, England. Relatively sober, the 30 year old seems to have hung up the mask and spandex for good and is focusing on new horizons, his wrestling career far behind him…”


The footage zooms slowly and shakily til we move past the grain of the television and onto the road, hanging outside the GTO’s window as Gator’s arm moves into the car and he takes a long drag of a cigarette before flicking the burnt out butt onto the highway. We move around the car to the rear as the sight of hills and the beach beside the road.





A disheveled Gator leans forward, the heavy bags under his eyes lifting when his eyes squint looking towards the sun. He leans back in a groan, removes his sunglasses and stretches his arms out as a horn blares beside him; a chubby hand grabs the steering wheel and Gator jolts up, looking to his passenger.


“Todd! What have I told you about touching my baby, you triple-chinned homunculus?”


Todd; Gator’s rotund former cameraman and personal punching bag. The Canadian is now head of production for XWF and has found huge success in life since parting ways with Gator, even finding a woman who loves the human twinkie for being himself. His eyes dart shakily between Gator and the road as he stutters out a sentence.


“L-like can you not take your eyes off the road?”


“Why? It’s not like we’re gonna crash.”


“You do keep driving on the wrong side of the road…”


Gator slaps his hands down onto the steering wheel and pins Todd’s arm down with them who flinches in horror, his darkened beanie becoming soaked in sweat.


“The right side of the road! Which is the left. Not my fault these tanned morons don’t know the rules of the road, unlike me! I’m king of the road! Remember Todd?” Gator nudges Todd with his elbow and looks to him. “Remember when I won that king of the road match? That was cool.”


“Y-yes!” Todd, with some effort, tugs his arm away. “Yes, I remember. But that doesn’t mean you make the rules, Gator.”


Utter confusion appears on Gator’s haggard face.


“Then why the fuck am I king of the road, you dense prick?”


Todd opens his mouth but stops himself.


“No comment?” Gator exchanges glances between the road and Todd. “Ickle Toddy gonna stick his bottom wip out and sulk?”


Todd folds his arms and sinks into the passenger seat.


“Aww what’s the matter with my little man?”


Gator throws his palm and slaps Todd’s belly beginning to tickle him, Todd giggles slapping Gator’s arm away who retracts with a chuckle.


“Stop!”


“Why are you so pissy? We’re in Malibu, look at the sun! Look how… Yellow it is.”


“I’ve seen the sun, Gator.”


“Yeah but I haven't; been stuck in Manc for about 2 years. I honestly thought they changed it… Brought out Sun 2. Added some new colours, given it a RGB setting or something.”


“It’s the same everywhere, same in Montreal which is where I wanted to go.”


“Why the ever loving fuck would you wanna go there for?”


“Oh I dunno Gator, maybe have my bachelor party there with my best man?”


“Todd, your best man is right here, silly.”


“I mean my brother.”


Gator almost snaps his neck with the turn of his head.


“You have a brother!?”


“Yes! I told you this! He moved back home to take care of my mom.”


“You have a mum!?!?”


Gator’s jaw drops as Todd looks at him with tired eyes, the slow blinks of a man defeated.


“I no shit thought you were birthed from excess grease from a chip pan. Like if McDonald’s had a tumor that fell from the ground and you evolved from it.”


Todd rests his cheek on his hand, looking out the window to the water.


“Maybe at a stretch you’d be like Tim Horton’s Kuato. Just sticking right out his belly with your weird baby arms.”


Todd doesn’t respond as Gator mimics T-Rex style arms and does a pretty spot-on Kuato impression.


“Quaid, stock the Timmies Minis.”


“Gator.”


Gator speaks normally again.


“Then again with you it be Timmies Biggies.”


“Gator.”


“Timmies Morbidly Obesies.”


“Gator!”


“Yessum?”


“I’ve lost liked 20 pounds.”


Gator looks Todd up and down.


“What you spend it on a family bucket?”


“Why do you have to be such an asshole?”


“It’s my character, to be honest I thought I’d be a lot more rusty, do you know how long it’s been since I read a Deadpool comic? Surprised I remembered to steal the good stuff and not the meta humour and chimichangas. Then again I guess the meta humour is still there since I’m making jokes about people comparing me to Deadpool despite the fact the differences kinda end with the mask and how I enjoy the sound of my own voice… I am however a lot like Ryan Reynolds since I do enjoy the smell of my own farts and terrible gin. What’s it called? Aviator gin? That shit would make me want to fly a plane just so I could nose dive it into the cunt’s house… What were we talking about?”


“How you’re an asshole.”


Todd’s words come mumbled and tired, Gator clicks his fingers with a smile.


“That’s right. Well, I blame it on daddy issues but it could be how a boy teases the girl he has a crush on.”


Gator looks at Todd who stares back in disgust, his body pushing against the car door as Gator places a gentle hand on Todd’s knee.


“Ermmmm.”


Gator begins to speak like a southern belle.


“Oh, Mr. Moschitti, would you do me the greatest of honours by making a honest woman outta me.”


Todd expels an increasingly worried groan. As Gator closes his eyes and leans in for a kiss before peeking out his right and turning sharply on the wheel.


“We’re here!”


The car drifts into the driveway of a lavish home; Todd slams against the window and gives a pained moan as he grabs his head. Gator kicks open the door and stands up straight besides the GTO; a smile comes across his face looking at the white stone and glass walls tucked away in the hills of Malibu, Gator cups his hands around his mouth before yelling.


“Oi! Cunt!”


Gator waits impatiently tapping his foot on the cement before throwing his hands up and heading to the boot of his car and popping it open. Todd steps outside rubbing his head with a scowl, looking towards Gator rummaging around.


“What are you doing?”


Gator slams the boot close holding his creased costume in his grasp; he places the bodysuit onto the car and fixes the mask to place over his mess of hair.


“It’s obvious, Vinnie didn’t recognise me without my costume on.”


Todd raises an eyebrow as Gator lowers the mask over his head and begins to unbutton his Hawaiian shirt exposing the criss-cross pattern of scars hidden under tattoos.


“But he didn’t even see you? He’d recognize your voice, surely?”


Gator strips down to his boxers and hops on one foot trying to put on his costume as Todd looks away.


“Todd, you bauble of gelatinous mucus, you’ll see.”


Gator gets the legs of his costume up to his waist with an impressive jump as Todd shakes his head and goes to the door and presses a chubby finger against the doorbell. Music sounds out, muffled through the door Todd hears the opening of Twisted Sister’s “I Wanna Rock” as
Gator finishes up getting ready and shouts once more.


“Vinnie! Get out here and give me a big ol’ kiss!”


Upon the balcony above the door Vincent Lane strolls out, holding a mimosa and wearing a hot pink robe. He leans on the railing at looks down at the two with a smirk.


“Is that the angelic cry of a drug addicted limey gargling on mayonnaise I hear?”


A wide smile forms under the mask of Gator looking back at his oldest friend, former Universal Champion, XWF Legend and principal owner of the XWF. Todd looks up and waves.


“Hi Vinnie.”


Vinnie leans over the railing to look down before looking back at Gator.


“Oh cool, you brought Todd.”


“Yeah he would’ve just whined like a bitch if I didn’t.”


“It’s my bachelor party!”


Vinnie raises an eyebrow.


“... It is?”


Todd scoffs looking towards Gator who has his hands on his hips.


“What the hell!? You didn’t tell him?”


“Okay so.” Gator waves his hands around as he approaches Todd. “Maybe originally the reason we came here was actually for a match I’m a part of and maybe I didn’t know you were getting married and perhaps I didn’t know your stag do was meant to be today BUT in all honesty this is all your fault.”


Gator places a hand on Todd’s shoulder.


“How is it my fault!”


“I mean, you did never tell me.”


Todd knocks Gator’s hand away.


“I sent you an e-vite 3 months ago!”


“Todd, an e-vite? Who sends e-vites? Text me like a normal human being.” Gator scoffs “And 3 months? You know my memory is bad because of my past drug addiction, are you trying to make my feel bad about my disease?”


Vinnie watches this from above sipping his drink patiently. Todd waves a finger in front of Gator’s face.


“No, no, no! You don’t get to do that! This isn’t my fault! You’re just an… A… Fuckhead!”


Gator and Vinnie gasp in unison.


“Todd, language!”


“Yeah you fat prick.”


“Keep that up Todd and I’ll take away my offer of apple slices and juice for you.””


“You haven’t offered me anything yet!”


“Yeah but I was gonna.”


“Speaking of offer, are you gonna let us in or?”


“Oh right! Yeah door’s open, I’ll meet you downstairs.”


Vinnie heads back inside as Gator heads up and opens the door, looking at Todd before entering.


“Make sure you wear a bib when you’re eating, I don’t want you to ruin your good hoodie.”


Gator walks through the threshold as Todd scoffs and follows.#


“I’m not a child, Gator.”




The scene fades and opens back into a black void; Gator’s head pops up and centers in the frame.


“It’s weird to be back in full gear, not gonna lie.”


“Weirder to get back in the ring.”



Gator lights up a cigarette and places it in between his masked lips; expelling smoke all around him, framing the red mask.


“There’s a little slit in the mask so I can smoke; see, not just a pretty face, always thinking. It also looks really weird when I stick my tongue out.” Gator does just that and mumbles out. “~Fee!” His tongue slips back in and he goes back to talking normally. “It’s like a little mouth pussy. Ha! Pussy lips… What was I doing? Oh right, so I don’t think ever before has the backup plan been the tougher option. Four people get invited for a friendly match against Robert Main and friends and then end up going against four legends, four of the best wrestlers to ever grace the planet and four cunts who honestly could not give a fuck who the other four standing across from us are.”


Gator takes a long drag; the redness of the ash illuminating the area into an orange haze.


“Team MacBane! Cool. Four cunts not worthy enough to lick my last opponent from the soles of my boots. Now, I could come here and be like, oh the ring rust got me down and I haven't had a real fight since I don’t know when but to be perfectly honest, this thing is a wash.”


“Not just saying us four are legends and some of the best fighters in the world, but when you take my ability, my strength and fox like cunning add Vinnie Lane’s charisma and speed, Theo Pryce’s ring awareness and technical prowess and Doctor Louis fucking D’Ville’s raw brutality and inguniuty and you put them up against a litter of puppies it basically equates to what happens when the local pound is running low on money and has an excess of sleepy go bye-bye medicine… Wow, off to a dark start.”


“Anyway, let’s go down the list from the very little I know about the Koopa Kids starting with MacBane; the hairy biker is a God-fearing Texan with a tendency to show off his ass in promos and pretend to be in Sons of Anarchy, no surprise he’s hanging with Chris “Robert Main won’t return my calls” Page as Bane didn’t just adopt the jobber status, he was born in it, molded by it, he didn’t see a clean finish until he was but a man! With his no fucks given attitude he’s trying to push completly repelling against the greasy aura of a try-hard cunt who cares so much about what people think of him that his entire presence just screams daddy didn’t hug me enough. And that’s coming from me! I’m the poster child of fatherly neglect so get in line you talentless hack.”


“Big Mac belongs on the dollar menu with just how lacking this boy is. Just a synthetic meat product dressed up to be a staple of a franchise when everyone knows just how bad it is and is considered unsafe for children. Clogging' arteries with its cheese trying to hide the flaws and stolen attributes with some dressing… Man, I’m hungry. Enough food comparisons, let’s talk about how he promotes radical right websites in his promos when he throws up an image of a cool skull he found on pinterest. Bet this cunt is jazzed to a part of a group that isn’t storming the capital this time. Shame they all have the same amount of brain cells though.”


“Anyway, MacBane MacSucks and I hope he gets hit by a MacTruck.”


“Who else?”


“Kyra? Davison?”


“Why not both?”


“Since these two fuck each other might as well make it a threesome and just roll them both together and yell at the ball of putty I’ve created. This especially works since what I’ve seen is basically identical bullshit except one call himself “Godly” and the other doesn’t like women because she’s a female wrestler and that’s the most basic trait a female wrestler has. Is that sexist? I apologise if it was sexist I only just want to piss you off, not your gender… Great now I’m assuming genders, fuck you Kyra! You made me a target now.”


“Anyhow, since these two are a team it would be safe to assume that they’d be the most dangerous part of the group. HOWEVER! I could not give a fuck and I could not care less. I was a tag team champ, Theo was a tag team champ and part of one of the best stables in the XWF along with Doc who was also a tag team champ and Lane held all three trio titles at once. Plus we’ve known each other for years. Knowledge in team fights isn’t an issue, if anything it’s the biggest advantage we have and it’s going to be fucking hilarious when we teach two tumours who happened to fall in love and grow a symbiotic relationship with one another a thing or two about how to fight properly.”


“And lastly…”


“Whatshername…”


“Amber Rain!”



“Ryan.”


“Ryan!”


“A cunt who hasn’t done anything notable since 2018 and is by far the biggest threat. Fear of the unknown I guess counts towards it but more the fact that unlike the other three that have floundered in a small, shitty company for some time. Ryan flourished in a small, shitty company before burning out and falling into the shadow realm. But she does have some notable shit to her name, so I guess good for her. It’s a damn shame I doubt she’s going to have a chance to do anything; I don’t know if it’s just me but she reeks of cold feet. Some basic bitch who feels like this could be her big comeback and time to shine only for the pressure to get to her and the anxiety leaks in and forces her to not post the promo she’s been staring at for days, for her to freeze in the ring like a deer in the headlights and watch as she’s thrown into the air and back down onto the mat for her to stare at the spotlights for three seconds in slow-motion, every regret swarming into her mind.”


“But why aren’t we having those same thoughts?”


“None of us are in the weekly show game anymore so why aren’t we ridden by anxiety and dread?”


“Well, I can’t speak for the rest of them but for me. I’m here for the fun of it, I don’t give a fuck and the fact I’m against a bunch of people who will never amount to anything means zero pressure on me. It’s as simple as walking in, hitting Strange Ways and walking out of Vegas with yet another win under my belt.”






We fade back into Vinnie Lane’s home, at the kitchen island Todd is wiping juice from his hoodie with a wet paper towel as Gator and Vinnie sit in the living room; Vinnie cracks open a couple of beers and hands one to Gator who rolls up his mask halfway to take a deep sip before promptly spitting it out onto the coffee table.


“Jesus fucking Christ are you tryna’ poison me?”


Vinnie jolts forward grabbing a blanket slapped over the chair he’s sitting in and dabs up the liquid.


“What? Dude it’s Coors?”


Gator wipes his mouth inspecting the bottle like it owes him answers.


“So you are trying to kill me? You know this is what they use to torture inmates at Guantanamo, right?”


“Don’t be so dramatic, bro. You can’t go wrong with Coors, it’s an American staple, like apple pie or that compensation piece you're driving around in.”


“Pfft, that GTO is more European than me. I had to replace every US part in the first year because the cunt wouldn’t run; things like a Brexit Frankenstein.”


Vinnie chuckles and throws the blanket down before kicking his feet up.


“So, what’s the plan here? You come by to talk shop or is the bride to be over there gonna paint the town red?”


Gator sighs, placing an arm to the back of his head to rest on as he stomachs the beer.


“I dunno. Originally I brought him along to film us like the good ol’ days.”


Vinnie looks over at Todd who has moved onto to eating an ice cream sandwich. Lane mutters to himself.


“How did he even get that…” Then turns his attention to Gator. “With what camera is he going to film us on?”


“His-uh.” Gator leans forward and examines Todd. “What the fuck he didn’t even bring a camera! Todd! Where the fuck is your camera!”


In between munches of ice cream, Todd replies.


“I didn’t bring one!”


“And why the fuck not!?”


“It’s my bachelor party, I don’t bring a camera with me everywhere I go and I have a phone to use as a camera.”


Gator’s eyes drift left to right as he takes in this information and relaxes again.


“That boy’s changed.”


“Yeah, I noticed he’s been getting a bit more sassy since I gave him that production job. You’re still lower on the rung than Taco, Todd! Don’t you forget it.”


Todd shrugs and mumbles to himself.


“Just means I have two bosses who are pigs.”


Gator laughs as Vinnie grows angry.


“Right, that’s it mister, you’re on timeout!”


“Whu?”


“Don’t back talk him, Todd, go to your naughty step!”


“But I-”


“Now!”


Gator points in a random direction as Todd bumbles over his words before sighing and leaving the room. Vinnie and Gator wait a moment before cracking up.

“Love that guy.”


“Yeah, do feel bad from time to time but then I remember it’s Todd.”


“I feel ya. Maybe we can make this work both ways.”


“How’d you mean?”


“We throw him a stag do, we’ll invite Theo and Doc, catch up, talk some shit and trash these cunts we’re about to run over.”


“I like it! Oh man, what outfit should I wear? And how do we get Doc over?”


“I can text him.”


Gator pulls out his phone as Vinnie stands to his feet and looks around the room.


“Do we need to summon him? Should I draw a pentagram?”


Gator’s eyes shift as he waves his phone.


“I’m texting him.”


Vinnie claps his hands an idea striking his head.


“Yo! I’ll gather some candles, pretty sure I got a copy of the necronomicon laying around here.”


“I’ve texted hi- The fucking what?”

Vinnie dismisses the idea.


“Actually no, that may only anger him.”


“You realise he’s just a guy, right? He’s not a literal demon.”


Gator winces in fear as he hears a soft laugh behind his ear and begins to look around the room.


“... Well that was fucked.”


“What was?”


“... Nothing, you do you, can you call Theo? I think he blocked me.”


“Why’d he block you?”


“I may have insinuated that his brother is a nonce.”


“... But that’s true?”


“Right!?”


“Whatever, yeah I’ll call him. Can you do me a favor though?”


“Sure, what you need?”


“Could you help straighten my hair?”


Gator downs the beer and stands up to meet Vinnie and places a hand on his shoulder.


“That’s pretty gay, mate.”


“Is that a no?”


“Of course not, yeah I’ll help.”


“Thanks, bud.”


The two smile at each other before Vinnie shouts out.


“Cup check!”


And throws his knuckles into Gator’s crocodile eggs who reels over in pain as Lane runs off giggling.


“You mother fuckin’ piece of shit!”


Gator groans in pain as he limps after Lane.





[Image: s6zOknm.png]





In Vinnie’s master bedroom, Lane sits on the floor as Gator is behind him trying to untangle knots of wild blonde hair. Vinnie is on his phone as Gator begins to run the straighteners down Lane’s hair.

“I never thought my life would come to this.”


“Yeah, I kinda thought we’d be dead by now.”


“Same. Instead I’m helping with your beauty regime and we’re back in the ring after what? 6-7 years?”


“Depends, you count OSW?”


“Oh fuck, yeah let’s not talk about that.”


The pair laugh.


“But for real, after we get drunk and make poor life choices for our bestest boys bachelor party. What do you think it’s gonna be like back in the ring against a bunch of chuckle fucks?”


“Well…. Remember the time we were in New Zealand?”


“Of course.”


“And we stole those go-karts and raced around the track hurling insults like they were items in Mario Kart.”


“Yeah, we blew them up too.”


Vinnie laughs which causes Gator to jolt with the straighteners.


“Those things went up like they were loaded on nitro-glycerine. Anyway, it was just us two having fun and roasting the roster while we did. Like when we hung out back in my old place, like when we got the band together and played a show before a match. Basically, it doesn’t matter who or what we’re against, bro, it’s gonna be the same outcome each and every time. We kick ass and take names, make it look easy and have the time of our lives while we do it.”


“Couldn’t have said it better myself. Also, your hair may look singed but I promise it was like that before I started.”


“What!?”


Vinnie darts up and runs to the mirror accessing the damage before some relief hits his face.


“Nothing a trusty bandana won’t hide.”


Vinnie opens up a wardrobe exposing a horde of bandanas covering the entire wall. Gator examines it and his mouth drops examining the collection, as Lane picks one seemingly at random the sound of helicopter blades approaches. Lane fastens his bandana hastily and with a smile claps Gator’s shoulder to follow him outside. The pair walk through the house and exit onto a large square of house nestled between the house and the hills as the luxurious chopper slowly comes to earth; the rotors begin to slow and the door slides open; Theo Pryce stands inside adjust the tie of his navy suit before stepping down as the blades come to a stop. Retrieving a duffel bag he makes his way over to the two with a grin. Gator scoffs.


“Show off. Surprised you didn’t arrive via spaceship.”


Theo walks to the pair and shakes Vinnie’s hand before looking to Gator.


“I tried but the transporter was on the fritz.”


“That Scotty always was a lazy prick. C’mere you big galoot.”


Gator wraps his arms around Pryce with a tight bearhug before setting him down. The trio then begin to head inside.


“What’s with the bag?”


Theo hefts the bag and takes a look at it.


“We’re going to Vegas correct? These are my our spendings.”


“You brought a duffel bag full of money for one night in Vegas?”


“Yes.” Pryce gives an inquisitive look towards Gator. “You think we’ll need more?”


Back in the living room, Theo throws the bag down on the couch and adjusts his suit before taking a load off and setting himself down.


“So where’s the poor son of a bitch that’s gonna fuck the same warthog the rest of his life?”


“Theo… Vinnie’s standing right here.”


“Hey!” Vinnie backhands Gator’s chest. “Roxy is a catch.”


“Catch something off her.”


Gator lets out a singular loud “HA” as Vinnie rolls his eyes and takes a seat. Gator sits down on the arm of the chair looking at his phone before typing back.


“Todd however is… I don’t know actually, he’s somewhere.”


“Todd!” Theo clicks his fingers. “Knew it began with a “T”, need to make a slight adjustment to the plan then.”


“What plan?”


Theo doesn’t take his eyes of his phone whilst replying to Gator.


“Well while you two were playing makeover, I used my contacts and got us the best of the best VIP rooms at every casino, strip club and even this zombie shooting thing.”


“... Real zombies?”


“Yeah dude, that shitty netflix movie was real, Vegas is a hell hole now.”


“Vegas has always been a hell hole, fun though.”


“Well I don’t know, you yanks always got some weird shit. Just thought this is what happened to all the anti-vaxxers over here.”


“Sadly not.”


“I mean, maybe, haven’t seen Big D in a while.”


“Ha, him being a corpse would be an improvement.”


“Whose Big D?”


“Doesn’t matter, what does matter is that for the first time in a long time I actually have a match I’m looking forward to. A match that matters. A match with a real opponent. Four actually. ”


”Didn’t you face Chris Chaos last year?”


”Yeah I did Lane but that doesn’t make any of what I just said less true. That match was basically just a weekend workout for me. A fun little way to relieve some stress without having to put in much work but this match will be a little different. I mean probably won’t have to work too hard given the talent level but these folks can’t be any worse than Chris Chaos can they?”


”What is a Chris Chaos?”


”It’s better you don’t know but the reality is this, we have four people who sure they’ve accomplished some things in their little corners of the wrestling world but they have never, I mean ever faced talent like what they are in Vegas. And not just one opponent whose talent is far superior to theirs but four. The four cornerstones of the modern XWF. Four Universal Champions as it were. I know people look at me, they see the expensive suits, they see me putting in 3-5 hours of work behind a desk a week and think I’m just an empty suit who would get his shit kicked in if he ever laced up the boots again but as we all saw in my match with Chaos this dog can still hunt. And now I actually have motivation. Beating on Chris Chaos like a rented mule was just another day for me but this match. This match matters.


I mean this is the XWF’s reputation on the line here. Could you imagine what people would say about the XWF if four of the very best to ever lace up their boots lost to Mac Bane and friends? I know what they’d say. They’d call us the Chris Page of wrestling.”



”What does that even mean?”


”I don’t know but Page sucks so I assume they’d be calling us shitty. But the good news is there is absolutely no way that is going to happen. And I’m not even saying that in any chest puffing way. I’m just telling the truth here. The four of us are four of the best the XWF has ever seen, in any era and the XWF is the big leagues. The XWF is the pinnacle of professional wrestling. When people are bouncing around on their trampoline performing wrestling moves on their friends they aren’t pretending to be Mac Bane or Ken Davison or Kyra Johnson or Amber Ryan. They are pretending to be the Walking Disaster that is Gator. The Loverboy Vinnie Lane, hopefully with better hair. The Good Doctor, Doc D’Ville and the King Maker Theo Pryce. We are the Mount Rushmore of modern wrestling. Our opponents are basically what you find in the discount bins at Five Below. And no one, and I mean no one dares buy anything from the discount bins at Five Below. Not even poor people like Big D.”


”There’s that name again Big D. I feel like you guys are telling an inside joke that I’m not privy to. We don’t have secrets here guys.”


”Sure we do Gator.”


“Well, I still have my secret identity so I guess that’s fair.”


“I have seen your ugly mug too many times.”


“Same, your face looks like a full English breakfast.”


“Delicious and hardy?”


“More like heart attack inducing and bad to look at.”


Gator pouts.


“Speaking of bad to look at, where's that bald one eyed warlock?”


“Doc? Oh he’s on his way.”


“Oh snap! Doc! I’ll grab some candle to summon him. Gator you should hit the lights.”


Vinnie hurries out of the room as Gator stares at the middle distance.


“And I thought I was the comic relief.”


Then Gator farts and twerks lol


[Image: deadpool-twerk.gif]

[Image: 4H375RW.png?6]
Check out Backstage Page for full list of XWF achievements.
Edit Hate Post Like Post
[-] The following 7 users Like Gator's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (02-20-2022), Doctor Louis D'Ville (02-20-2022), Marf (02-20-2022), Raion Kido (02-21-2022), Theo Pryce (02-20-2022), Thunder Knuckles™ (02-20-2022), YALL_KNOW_WHO (02-20-2022)




Users browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)