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"Show me anything whereof it may be said, 'See, this is new,' and I will show you it hath been."
-Joseph Heller
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~They were being hunted, Jay Omega was sure of it. It was to be expected in a land as wild as this one seemed to be, but that didn't mean Jay had to enjoy it. Omega glanced over his shoulder toward his companions, but of course saw nothing; Evelyn "Darkmaw" Nakamura had engaged her active camouflage the moment they had been deposited in the jungle clearing some fifteen minutes ago, and Tasha was a skilled huntress, blending into the surrounding foliage despite her purple skin and vivid aquamarine hair. A warm breeze from the north ruffled his hair, and Jay once again sent up a silent prayer of thanks for the climate control functions of his omnicoat. Evelyn had similar features on her combat harness, so Omega wasn't too worried about her at the moment, but Tasha hailed from an arid world that was mostly desert, save for the farmland around the coastal cities of Aja Darrik; the tropical heat might not be overwhelming, but she certainly wasn't used to this much moisture in the air. Thoughts of his wife's body temperature fled as his brain caught up with his senses; the breeze brought more than an increase in warmth, a familiar scent touched Jay's nose and he held up a hand to halt the women trailing him.

Omega stepped forward a few paces, putting some distance between himself and the ladies, and drew the Virfneb Caster with his left hand. Jay had been in this exact scenario a few years prior, and anticipated the movements of their stalker. A knock from his right, as though a rock had struck a tree, and Omega half turned with a smile then spun about-face at a rustling in the bush that was now behind him, raising his weapon and firing a stun round at… nothing. A green blur streaked out from the vegetation where the knock had originated and slammed into Jay's back, taking him off his feet and into the jungle. Tasha broke from concealment and dashed forward, but only took two steps before Omega and his attacker reappeared, by way of The Omega Man tackling a green scaled reptilian humanoid, bearing him to the ground, and laying a flurry of punches upside the aggressor's scaly head. Jay then spring to his feet and took a ready position, but relaxed with the lizard man held up a clawed hand to ward him off.

"Hold on, hold on," implored The Omega Saurian, Omegadon as he rolled to the side and scraped away the soil where his head had lain, "Augh, I think there'sss a ssspawnthrussting rock here."

Omegadon began to rise, but came to a quick stop as a short viridian blade appeared from thin air, hovering just above his face. In the space of an eyeblink, Tasha stepped up and had a second blade levied in his direction, a curved scimitar dark gray in color, shot through with streaks of pale blue and limned with a pulsating violet energy. The air at the end of the viridian dagger seemed to ripple, and Darkmaw faded into view as she uncloaked; her expression promising a swift death if provoked. The saurian's thin lips peeled back to expose a mouthful of razor sharp teeth, and he displayed both clawed hands in a placating gesture.

"Whoa, come on now," Omegadon said carefully, "We're all friendsss here; let'sss not get carried away." The two lethal ladies exchanged identical glances of incomprehension then both looked back at Jay expectantly.

"What?" Omega asked in confusion, "He's telling the truth; this is-- oh fuck! You guys can't understand him, can you? My bad, sometimes I forget not everyone has translation software in their brain. Hang on, I think I've got…"

Jay rummaged around the inside pocket of his omnicoat and pulled out a pair of small devices that he clipped to each woman's collar and turned on, each taking a moment to run through a startup process before giving a soft chime.

"There, that oughta help," Omega gave a self satisfied nod, then reached between the two women to help Omegadon to his feet, "I call them T.W.I.Tors; Tiny Wearable Instant Translators. Anyways, ladies, this is the man we've come to see; I'd like y'all to meet Omegadon. Donny, this is my fiancee Evelyn, and--"

"I have told you before not to call me Donny," Omegadon stated emphatically as he looked Tasha up and down, then flickered his forked tongue at her, "But you, my lovely lavender vision of beauty, you may call me anything you like."

"And this is my wife," The Omega Man said pointedly, bringing Omegadon's attention back to him, "Her Imperial Ladyship, Ymsyllynt'ash'Andwalu; Daughter of the Highest House, Holder of the Sacred Texts of the Five Divines, Second Heiress to the Darrikaan Interstellar Empire."

"You have fine tassste in matesss, Omega," the saurian said approvingly, then shook his head sadly at Tasha, "You, not ssso much. A pity we didn't meet sssooner; you and I could have had a very good time together."

For her part, Tasha seemed receptive to Omegadon's charms; a flattered smile on her lips, and an interested cant to her head. The exiled alien princess looked over at Jay and cocked an eyebrow inquisitively; Omega seemed a little surprised at first, but a broad grin spread across his face and he made a gesture which Tasha inferred to mean "go ahead".

"Perhaps it is not too late," she murmured in a throaty voice that never failed to get Jay's blood running hot, "My love for my husband is fierce indeed, but our marriage is far from traditional by either of our species' standards; we have… an agreement regarding desires of the flesh."

It was Omegadon's turn to be surprised, though his expression quickly became one of eagerness. Before anything further could develop, Jay stepped in to bring the focus back to the point of this interdimensional visit.

"Okay, settle down, y'all can work out the details of your playdate later," Omega announced, throwing an arm around the saurian's shoulders, "Right now we need to find somewhere to sit and have a chat, I've got some good news and some bad news, but I'd like to have a cold drink in my hand before I start talking."

The Omega Saurian nodded and led the way out from the jungle, a surprisingly short walk it turned out. Once clear of the jungle they found a sleek, silvery-blue vehicle waiting at the edge of a low-cut field, the rounded towers of a megalithic city brushing the clouds in the distance. Jay had seen the sights before, but he allowed his paramours a few moments to take in the scope of the structures and boggle in amazement. A perfectly valid reaction; the city of Kithros was an incredible sight. At more than twelve thousand years old, Kithros was a marvel of post-modern architecture and engineering; it was also their destination, arrived at rather swiftly thanks to the high speed aircar. After being seated at an eatery on one of the lower levels, Omega made good on his promise to explain.

"Okay, so, good news," The Omega Man started, pointing at Omegadon, “Finally got a tag match booked, so you’re cleared to come to what is now my world, and put your skills to the test in the ring. Remember, this is a non-lethal combat sport, and bloodletting is… frowned upon outside of specific match types. The bad news is that this is basically a gimme match, and we’re up against a pair of preliminary bums who don’t even have enough talent to be called curtain jerkers.”

“How disssappointing,” sighed Omegadon dejectedly, “Very well, tell me about thessse losersss.”

Before Jay could respond, a small, spherical robot flew over to their table and displayed a holographic menu.

“Greetings-gentlebeings-may-I-take-your-orders; we-have-a-variety-of-specials-on-offer-today.” The mechanical server’s voice was entirely devoid of inflection, and the words tumbled out almost on top of one another.

“Yeah, I’ll try the iced silene tea.” Omega stated.

“Bludpunch for me.” Omegadon ordered.

“I will have water, thank you.” Tasha said politely.

“I will melt you into slag, rustbucket.” Everyone turned to look at Evelyn in surprise; while not an overtly friendly woman, she was never unnecessarily rude. “What? I’ll shit in your mouth for looking at me like that?”

“Hold up,” The Omega Man reached over and unclipped Evelyn’s T.W.I.Tor, “Damn thing must be on the fritz. What was that, babe?”

“I just asked why everyone was looking at me like that,” the assassin replied with some discomfort, “I only asked for water.”

Jay relayed the order to the serving sphere, and a moment later a tray flew over bearing their drinks. Once the server had been dismissed, Omega reached into the inside pocket of his omnicoat, and pulled out a Compact Aerial Recon Drone. Jay tapped a string of commands into his Wearable Espionage and Information Retrieval Device, and synced the C.A.R.D. with his W.E.I.R.D., then tossed the drone into the air, set to hover just a few feet away.~

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”Prepare for trouble!”
“And make it double!”
-Team Rocket
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*We fade in to find Jay Omega seated at a low wooden table in what seems to be a crowded restaurant. To his right sits an attractive (if severe) woman of Japanese descent, while across from him sits a green scaled lizard man wearing what looks like a leather harness crossed with tactical webbing on his chest, and loose black utility pants. Beside the saurian sits an exotically beautiful purple skinned woman with a crest of aquamarine hair rising up and spilling down her back, save for a single tuft which falls forward over her face, occasionally obscuring one of her burnished gold eyes.*

JAY OMEGA: Okay,so, I had some jokes about fighting Dave Mustaine and L.A. Johnny Stylez, but let’s be real; the Disintegrators aren’t worth that level of effort. This is a pair of over the hill nobodies who make Tommy Wish look young and relevant. The only accomplishment to their credit is that somehow John Steele managed to convince a woman to sleep with him on purpose, and not abort the resulting pregnancy. Of course, since that resulted in Da Bing Bong Twinnz, I’m not sure we can really call it an accomplishment. If anything, it’s a damn good reason to kick Steele’s ass.

*Jay hoists the glass in his left hand, toasting the camera.*

JAY OMEGA: So here’s to a quick and easy match guys; thanks for the free win. Don’t give out too many of those, else “Free Win” Mark Flynn might sue you for gimmick infringement. Now, I promise I won’t go too hard on your geriatric asses come fighty time, due to y’all’s advanced age; I don’t wanna shelve either of you with a broken hip, or whatnot. However, you should be aware that I am thinking about booting Johnny Steele in the junk so hard it sends a shockwave back in time and handicaps his sperm all the way back in ‘Ninety-Nine.

*Omega takes a drink from his glass and squeezes the hand of the human woman sitting beside him.*

JAY OMEGA: Now, I don’t mean to cut this short, but I’m really only recording this shit talk because I’m contractually obligated to. I really don’t think the Disintegrators are going to step up at any point, so I could skate by with the bare minimum. But that ain’t how The Omega Man rolls. I’ll be back on the airwaves soon enough, spittin’ hot fire like my name was Bowser. Well, actually, I’mma let my homie Omegadon cut his teeth on the next promo, see how he does. But I’ll be back after that. Anyway, I gotta get going; I have plans to meet up with a new friend in a little bit; share some tales of the trade, and I have to shower before that because I’ve been tromping through the jungle and I smell like the inside of a dead tauntaun. Peace out, y’all!

*Jay makes the universal “cut” motion, and the scene fades to black.*

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”I will not die without fighting for a life I am not yet done living.”
-Bethany Wiggins
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~Jay Omega tensed up for a moment, every muscle in his body going taut, much to the delight of the Jederrian woman he was flirting with. She made a sound halfway between a coo and a purr and stroked Jay’s bicep appreciatively, the tufts of fur at the ends of her pointed ears twitching so fast they almost seemed to vibrate. Omega traced a finger along her jaw and under her ear, teasing the area where pale orange flesh met equally pale blue fur and eliciting another purring coo. Very much resembling an anime catgirl, the Jederrian people were known throughout the galaxy for their friendly nature, particularly the women in the throes of their first mating cycle. Jay was just about to suggest they head back to his cabin aboard the Khybaris when a commotion cut through the surrounding din of the multispecies watering hole.

Used to bar fights in seedier establishments, Omega very nearly ignored the disturbance in favor of the beautiful woman in front of him when a tingling sensation ran up his spine and pulsed into his brain. Jay had learned a long time ago to listen to the Omega Sense, so he quickly scanned the room, and was not best pleased to see the place was on the verge of a full on bar brawl. Omega noticed a group of Dumeratz mercenaries - more like pirates really - draw their weapons, one of them pointing a wicked looking disruptor at the only other human in the bar. The Omega Man reacted without thinking, kicking the merc’s arm and causing the shot to go wide. As if that one shot had been a signal to open a floodgate, weapons fire erupted around the room, the sounds of varied weaponry discharging drowned under the panicked screams of the less hardy. Jay ducked and dodged as he weaved his way across the room, making his way back to the table he had left only five minutes before. Omega hurled himself over the table, toppling it onto its side, and knocking down his human companion. The two men shored up against the toppled table, and Jay looked over at XWF Supercontinental Champion, Corey Smith.

“What did you do?”~