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X-treme Wrestling Federation » XWF Live! » 24/7 X-treme Championship
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SEASON'S BEATINGS!!! WOO!!!
Author Message
The Disintigrators Offline
TWO BAAAAAAAAAAAAD MAMMA JAMMAS!



XWF FanBase:
Drug addicts, rebels, weirdos

(the villain you love to hate; has cult following; may deal drugs on side)


#1
12-16-2021, 01:48 PM

'Dangerous' Dave Mustang and Johnny 'Twisted' Steele, the two baddest men in the XWF, known professionally as THE DISINTIGRATORS, are seen walking down the hallway with approximately 250% extra swagger than usual. They are feeling GOOD about something!'

'Dangerous' Dave Mustang: "WELLLLLLLLLLLLLL lemme tell you, Johnny! I seen the newest XWF X-Treme Champion, Cage Coleman, and this guy is softer than a 10 watt bulb! He's softer than Kleenex quilted WITH aloe!"

Johnny 'Twisted' Steele: "I SEENT HIM TOO, JACK! YOU'RE BEING TOO GOT DANG NICE! WE'RE TALKIN' ABOUT 200-PLY SOFT! LITTER OF LONG HAIRED KITTENS SOFT! SOFT LIKE A FREAKIN' CLOUD DROPPING SNOWFLAKES ON CHRISTMAS EVE! WE MEAN SOFT, BOY! WOO!"

'Dangerous' Dave Mustang: "That's just the FACTS, Johnny! This cat is so dang soft he's probably more soft than Kyodai Montsuda's newest love handle! That's why you and me are gonna go down there into that X Hallway right now, knock on this joker's door, then smack him right in his underbite! Rock paper scissors for the pinfall!"

Johnny 'Twisted' Steele: "I CHOOSE ROCK BECAUSE I'M FREAKIN' ROCK HARD, DADDY!"

'Dangerous' Dave Mustang: "THAT'S NOT..."

Dave stops himself mid-word and composes himself. He speaks much calmer after that.

'Dangerous' Dave Mustang: "Look, that's not how the game goes but we'll cross that bridge... first we need to knock on Cage's door and hope he can hear us over his little ballerina musical box."

Johnny 'Twisted' Steele: "HE'S PROBABLY GOT HIS HEAD SO FAR UP HIS OWN DAMN DICKHOLE THAT HE'LL HEAR IT WITH AN ECHO! LET MY FINGERS DO THE WALKING, DAVID! I'LL SHOW YOU HOW A FULL RED BLOODED AMERICAN STUD KNOCKS ON A DOOR! NO WHITE BLOOD CELLS IN THESE VEINS, DADDY, WHITE'S THE COLOR OF SURRENDER!"

'Dangerous' Dave Mustang: "Uh..."

Before Mustang can continue, Johnny Steele starts beating on Cage Coleman's dressing room door. One of the prime locations - a full suite at the end of the X-Treme Hallway!

Johnny 'Twisted' Steele: "I HEARD BAM MILLER BARELY HAD TIME TO TAKE A SHIT IN THIS ROOM!"

'Dangerous' Dave Mustang: "Probably clogged up the throne anyway. No answer? That's strange... I know I seen Cage coming back this way from the snack machine..."

Johnny 'Twisted' Steele: "THAT SON OF A BITCH THAT'S WHY THERE'S NO MORE BLACK TWIZZLERS! I'LL KILL THIS MOTHERFUCKER DAVEY I SWEAR TO SWEET BABY JESUS CHRIST RIGHT BEFORE HIS HOLIEST OF HOLIES!"

The D-Grators stand in front of the door puzzled, contemplating their next move.

After a few moments, Johnny's pocket starts to buzz. He reaches into his jeans pocket that's so tight you'd swear it belonged between the legs of a prom night virgin and he pulls out his Blackberry Key 2.

Steele pulls out a pair of reading glasses and squints at the phone screen.

Johnny 'Twisted' Steele: "AH CRAP!"

'Dangerous' Dave Mustang: "What's the haps, Steely J?"

Johnny 'Twisted' Steele: "WE GOT PROBLEMS, BIG DADDY D! SKELETONS BUSTING RIGHT OUT THE CLOSET! PROBLEMS FROM THE PAST, JACK!"

'Dangerous' Dave Mustang: "Someone finally recognized you from that awful 70's foreign movie you did a bit part for when you thought you could get into acting?"

They both stare into nothingness for a few minutes remembering Johnny's big screen debut.





Then they shake it off and get back to business.

Johnny 'Twisted' Steele: "HECK NO MUSTANG THIS CRAPOLA IS WAY WORSE! WORSE THAN A CAGE COLEMAN VERSUS REGGIE ESTRADA BEST OF SEVEN SERIES! THIS IS REAL TIME BAD NEWS, BUBBA!"

'Dangerous' Dave Mustang: "Christ big man just spit it out! What's going on? Should I call up Freddy and get him to use his fixer connections? That guy knows bad dudes in track suits, hoss!"

Johnny 'Twisted' Steele: "IT WON'T HELP... DAVID... THE RESULTS ARE IN... I'M A FATHER!"

Dave Mustang starts coughing and choking on his own spit. He bends over heaving. When he stands up he's actually laughing!

'Dangerous' Dave Mustang: "Well god dang congratulations, papa bear! Of course you're a daddy, daddy! You and me both have ridden these roads with leather and latex covering every bit of us except the most fun six inches! I bet there's whole schools filled with Little Disintigrators!"

Johnny 'Twisted' Steele: "YEAH BUT THESE TWO FOUND ME! AND DID A PATERNITY TEST! THEY GOT ME DEAD TO RIGHTS LIKE AN EPISODE OF MAURY, DAVE! IT WAS THAT DAMN BITCH AILEEN FROM DAYTONA BEACH! I TOLD HER TO TAKE IN IN HER BUNGHOLE BUT I WAS DRUNKER THAN PISS BECAUSE IT WAS BIKE WEEK! NOW I GOT A SET OF TWINS!"

'Dangerous' Dave Mustang: "Mazel Tov! I bet that's two handsome bastards!"

Johnny 'Twisted' Steele: "THEY'RE EMBARRASSING LITTLE SISSY TWINKS, DAVID! PROBABLY SHOWERED WITH EACH OTHER ALL THEIR LIVES! AND... AND... AND THEY'RE HERE!"

Johnny points down the hall to a pair of young men, and David gasps in shock.


[Image: Island-Boys.jpg]



'Dangerous' Dave Mustang: "Holy CRAP! Those are people???"

Johnny 'Twisted' Steele: "THEY ARE INDEED DAVID! SENT STRAIGHT FROM THE DEPTHS OF HELL TO DRAG THEIR FATHER DOWN TO THE FEET OF SATAN HIMSELF FOR HIS SINS!"

Johnny starts to openly weep.

The two young men walks towards the Disintigrators smiling.

Kid 1: "AYYYYY! Wass poppin', FAMIGLIA! My name's MC C-Munqqquee BathZaltzz, this here's my twin bro Lil' Ca$h-App Dolla Billyunnai$$e."

Ca$h-App: "Sup."

C-Munqqquee: "We came to meet Big Papi an' get signed up to be wrestlers like y'all, knowamsayn? Me an' Dolla already be tourin' an' makin' the I-4 Corridor our BITCH wit' our DJ sets, nah-meen? We drop beats from Bartow to Titusville, son!"

'Dangerous' Dave Mustang: "Hold up, Padawan... did you say you were signing wrestling contracts? You mean here? In the XWF???"

C-Munqqquee: "Sho did, playa. Watch me right now, BRUUUUH."

At that moment, Cage Coleman arrives at his dressing room door with more black Twizzlers. MC C-Munqqquee whips out a police-quality tazer and launches the prongs right into Coleman's ass cheeks.



ZZZOTTT!!!


Coleman drops to the ground twitching, and C-Munqqquee leaps onto him for a pin while Lil' Cas$h-App Dolla Billyunnai$$e flosses over top of them!




1!








2!!











Johnny Steele grabs the Twizzlers...







FUCK[Image: GarvinHayes1990.jpg]YOU
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[-] The following 5 users Like The Disintigrators's post:
"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (12-16-2021), JimCaedus (12-16-2021), Mark Flynn (12-16-2021), Schism (12-16-2021), Thunder Knuckles™ (12-16-2021)
Cage Coleman Offline
Registered but either hasn't added self to a roster yet or doesn't RP



XWF FanBase:
The IWC

(gets varying reactions in the arenas, but will be worshiped like a god and defended until the end by internet fans; literally has thousands of online dorks logging on to complain anytime they lose a match or don't get pushed right)


#2
12-16-2021, 02:56 PM

KICKOUT!

Cage Coleman looks at everyone, blankly, for a moment before yanking the tazer out of whatever that guy's name was's hand.

"I'm takin' this!"

The Xtreme Champion runs off, looking for somewhere private to take himself whilst jacking it.
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"Loverboy" Vinnie Lane (12-16-2021)




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